UK Athletics have been keen to play down what some are calling the "biggest crisis in the history of British sport". Officials were hurriedly flown to Norway late last night amid fears that some of the nation's best athletes were on the brink of a mass walk out from the European Team Championships. Insiders have told of a "massive row" between team captain Mo Farah and long jumper Chris Tomlinson over what is fast becoming known as 'TV-Gate' and anger has also been expressed at Charles Van Commonee's decision to remove all mobile telephones from the athletes. "Chris and Mo fell out when Tommo [Tomlinson] couldn't work the tele," said a source close to both athletes, "we missed most of the first half because Tommo insisted on watching the Big Brother eviction." Farah was said to be fuming when Tomlinson demanded a front row seat for the entire game, despite pledging a swap at half time. Farah's official spokesman said that his charge was also upset at the "repulsive" accommodation. "I told Mo that he is going to have to tough it out this time," said the spokesman, "he was heavily criticised when he skipped the World Cross after party".
Van Commonee has caused a great deal of unrest after confiscating the mobile phones of all the athletes and banned them from access to "any fun whatsoever". Defending his decision, the bespectacled chief said "all smiling is banned. Even if they do well. Athletes have been having way too much fun in this country and that has to stop." This decision has caused outcry with many athletes slamming the treatment as "barbaric". An unnamed female athlete said that she was "unlikely to perform well in such a horrific, slave-like environment. It's like prison, pure and simple." It is thought that a coup organised by Dwain Chambers only failed when he inadvertently got the timings wrong- completely misunderstanding the time difference in Norway.
Elsewhere, Colin McCourt has been isolated by his team mates when he chose to wear an Algeria shirt on Friday evening. The Scot clashed violently with Martyn Rooney, who attempted to rip the shirt off his back after the England football team had failed to impress in the World Cup. McCourt was heard to be singing into the early hours and it was only when Ian Stewart told him something so awful that we cannot report it, that he went to bed.
UKA will no doubt be hoping for a quieter end to the Championships today, but with vaulter Steve Lewis having yet another argument with his pole after no-heighting, it looks like wishful thinking.