UK Athletics have expressed their "horror" at the weather forecast for tomorrow's Liverpool Cross Challenge. It is understood that after last year's selection fiasco, all selectors are being forced to "actually attend" the event and as such are "mortified" at the prospect of the sub-zero temperatures expected tomorrow. "It is totally unreasonable" thundered a spokesperson for Director of Endurance, Ian Stewart "you wouldn't treat a slave like this. Ian has had to order a massive fur coat and had the UKA logo embroidered on it just to survive the cold".
The endurance team are thought to be furious at a demand from UKA chiefs that they must show an interest in "each and every event, even the senior women". It is also rumoured that the VIP lounge that has been laid on at most other events has been scrapped in the name of austerity. Insiders have expressed fears that if selectors are allowed to mingle with "normal Liverpudlians" there could be trouble. "I hear that security has been relaxed this year" said a source "it could mean that the selectors are held to account by the athletes and that could be awful". Police have already confirmed that "a number of known trouble makers" will not be permitted at Sefton Park tomorrow- Mick Woods is said to be appealing the decision.
Speaking from his holiday home in the Maldives, UKA supremo Neils De Vos was unrepentant and largely unsympathetic. "I think it is appropriate that the whole team is there. It's not all that bad and they can rally together and see it as a sort of camping trip" said De Vos. "It's just such a shame that I can't be there as I have pressing athletics related business to deal with out here".
De Vos' demands have been heavily criticised by athletics guru, George Gandy. The guru was told in no uncertain terms that it would not be acceptable to despatch his PA Alasdair Donaldson to the event and Gandy wondered "what the point of an apprentice was if you couldn't send him to do chores". "After all," he continued "you don't have a dog and bark yourself." The assistant is instead to remain in Loughborough and transcribe the results into an email ready to send out to all and sundry. Donaldson - who does not have the time to read this site - is said to be "delighted" with his assignment and aims to maintain the high standards his emails have thus far exhibited.