ECHO ANNOUNCES TAKE OVER DEAL

The lufbra echo has been sold to an undisclosed party for a "not inconsiderate sum of money". The move from the ever anonymous Chief Executive brings to an end over a year of journalism that has rocked the world of athletics to its core. There are too many highlights to mention in one summary, but viewers are encouraged to use our prestigious 'Archive' section to re-live the laughter, the tears, the shocks, the spills and the emotion that characterised the past sixteen months.

To our treasured readership: this artwork, this wizardry would not have been the same without the tens of thousands of you that have enjoyed it with us. Some of you have laughed along, others have sulked, still others have threatened - but most importantly you all read. There are some that have compared this little site to the greats: Chekhov, Beckett, Pinter, Shakespeare - all kind comparisons. But in truth, it was always about the word for us; the beauty, the simplicity.

As we count our millions from the buy out - we wish you well. Life will never be the same with us gone, but in little steps, we hope that the pain and sense of loss that you all feel now will numb. So smile and concede that though your hearts ache for our departure, they are a million times richer for having been able to be our fans. You'll always have the memories.

VAN COMMENEE SHOCK

USAIN BOLT EYES BRITISH SWITCH

Usain Bolt's sister's friend's mother's hairdresser's father was born and raised in Essex, opening up the possibility of the triple Olympic Champion competing for Great Britain at next year's London Games. It is understood that Bolt is "hugely excited" at the potential switch and fourteen members of UKA staff are "working flat out" to make it happen. This news comes after the likes of Tiffany Ofili-Porter and Shara Proctor conveniently discovered long lost relatives from the British Isles. 'Operation Get Bolt' as it has become know at Athletics House is a division of the 'Foreign Athlete Recruitment Team' (Codename FART) in the organisation.

Bolt has refused to comment on the story publicly, but an insider told the echo that the star has already switched from chicken nuggets and chips to fish and chips as a pre-race meal. "It was like he was born to be British, which of course technically speaking he is" enthused the source. Preparations were said to have suffered a set-back last week when Bolt was seen in "deep conversation" with the Pope sparking rumours that he was about to switch to becoming Italian. "We sent a memo reassuring him that Catholics were more than welcome on these shores" said a UKA worker "and I have it good authority that Mr Bolt doesn't much care for spaghetti".

TWITTERING TWITS

What does Charles Van Commonee - the man charged with delivering excellence at next year's Olympics - think of Twitter? "It's for attention seekers and clowns" the UKA supremo opined to the BBC yesterday afternoon. Van Commonee, who has seemingly forgotten that athletics isn't actually a team sport, was most upset when Phillips Idowu (World Triple Jump Champion and major prospect for Olympic Gold) supposedly announced to the social networking site that he was not to compete at this weekend's European Team Championships. 


"These things are done personally, there are certain channels you have to follow" CVC gravely told the camera "I expect somebody with such a profile [Idowu] to follow these procedures". Somewhat embarrassingly for CVC, it seems that Idowu did follow these procedures and only told his Twitter following after emailing the UKA hierarchy. Whoops! It would be even more humiliating for the organisation hell bent on success next year if, say, they had dismissed a world-renowned sprint coach at the drop of a hat for not quite toeing the party line. Although that would never happen as everyone is expected to follow "certain channels" aren't they? 


The Dutchman does have a point about Twitter users being attention seekers and clowns though. Just look at some of these Tweets: "In the words of ABBA 'The winner takes it all' - and that's exactly what the men's 4x100m relay just did in a Championship record time!" and "Did you know, this very stadium in Stockholm hosted the 1912 Olympic Games, which saw electric timing introduced for athletics? You do now!". This same user even found the time to re-tweet two of Mr Idowu's messages (unrelated to scandal) and ponder  how a queue for toast may effect James Shane's race chances. This couldn't be a salaried member of UKA staff (known within the camp as Mr Twitter) who tweets under the user name 'UKA_athletics' could it?

IDOWU ANGERED BY TWITTER BAN

Phillips Idowu has revealed that Charles Van Commonee has confiscated his mobile telephone and personal computer "for the rest of the season" and banned the Triple Jump star from "going near a computer". Van Commonee - who branded Idowu a "clown" on the BBC - is said to be furious that the Belgrave Harrier used Twitter to withdraw from this weekend's European Team Championships.

"It's a total joke" thundered Idowu from a phone box "who the hell does he think he is? I'm the World Champion and yet I can't be trusted with a mobile phone. Ridiculous." The triple jump ace added that it "was none of Van Commonee's business" what he did online. "Where exactly is Charles' Gold medal?" pondered Idowu "when he wants some fashion advice he should call me."

Idowu went on to say that the ban was having a "negative impact" on his performance because he was unable to call the AA when his new car broke down last week. "I tried to fashion a device with a paper cup and a bit of string, but it didn't work" said Idowu "in the rain, the cup just disintegrated".

Van Commonee has defended his decision, but faces serious problems within the Team GB camp after Helen Clitheroe was caught on Facebook chat after lights out yesterday evening and Dwain Chambers was found to be "following" the out of favour Idowu on Twitter. Meanwhile, a row has erupted within the BBC after Denise Lewis 'unfriended' Colin Jackson in a row thought to be over shoes and Jonathan Edwards revealed that he didn't even know what Twitter was.

FARAH ANGERED BY HONOURS SNUB

Mo Farah has criticised the Queen for failing to include him in her Birthday honours list. "Absolutely insulting" thundered Farah from a Nike press event "what have I got to do to get on that bloody list? It's a total joke." This news comes just a matter of weeks after Farah sent a threatening letter to Prince William for not inviting him to his wedding. "That isn't something I talk about" said Farah "it was all fine when he [Prince William] pitched up unannounced at my stag, but all of a sudden there wasn't space for me in the Abbey".

Farah's anger was compounded when he discovered that Jessica Ennis had been appointed an MBE. "It just confirms that the BBC decide everything doesn't it? She is half the athlete I am, but because she looks alright she gets attention and awards. It's very poor." The European 10,000m Champion added that he would "never use British Pounds again" after this latest bust up and when in the UK would pay for everything with his American Express card. "I don't want to look at that woman [the Queen] I am that upset". Whether or not he will sing the National Anthem if he wins an Olympic title is yet to be decided.

Buckingham Palace refused to comment on the story this evening, but did confirm that the Queen had received an irate phone call from Farah on her personal line. "Her Majesty is not prepared to release statements about her private life" said a spokesman "this matter has now been dealt with."

DONALDSON SIGNS CONTRACT EXTENSION

Alasdair Donaldson (who does not have time to read this blog) has signed a new contract with Loughborough and will remain at the club for at least the next twelve months, the lufbra echo understands. The news comes as a major victory for George Gandy's PA as insiders have told of "massive concessions" made by the Loughborough set up.

A source close to the negotiation team told the echo that Alasdair was "now to have an assistant to take charge of milk". It is hoped that this will free Donaldson up to spend more time trialling and selecting teas as well as focusing on perfecting a "comprehensive system for the storage and dispensing of paper clips".

Donaldson's decision to stay put will come as a surprise to many as he was linked to several "leading institutions" including the Bolton Institute of Higher Education who were prepared to offer him "complete control" of the kettle. A source close to Donaldson said that Loughborough was "the clear choice" and that the Scot was "very happy" in the East Midlands.

Just a couple of months ago, Donaldson's future couldn't have been more uncertain after his April Fools joke went disastrously wrong and he was quizzed by UKA chiefs over the cash for emails scandal. However, Loughborough sources have told the echo that these incidents are "now in the past" and that Donaldson was the "man for the moment".

BMC CHIEF SHOULD QUIT SAYS CAMERON

'BETTER ORGANISED RIOTS': PM Cameron blasts BMC set up

The Prime Minister has today branded the debacle surrounding the forthcoming BMC Grand Prix at Watford "a national joke" and has demanded the resignation of the organisation's top dog - Pat Fitzgerald. The under fire chief executive has remained silent since his Grand Prix Organising Committee (GPOC) took the sensational step of re-opening registration for the event after closing it five days early on Monday.

"It has been a total disaster" thundered Cameron from Downing Street today "how can classy athletes like Joe MacDonald and Stephen Emery have their entries deferred whilst others sail into the event without a second look? It is humiliating for those involved and it is high time that the BMC took this sort of foul up more seriously". The firm words from the PM come just three months after he pledged to clear up the "horrendous state of athletics under the old Government". Fitzgerald is likely to be summoned to Downing Street before the week is out to explain yet another humiliation for the supposed "premier middle distance club" in the country.

Last week, Alasdair Donaldson (who doesn't have time to read this blog) used his annual press conference heap scorn on BMC for "fundamentally failing athletics". "When I was in school" blasted the Scot "BMC were the be all and end all. They are a bit of a joke now". It is understood that George Gandy's PA has not ruled out boycotting the event by "refusing to make the tea" for the officials - who last year failed to spot several athletes crossing the line.

Meanwhile, Pete Matthews has announced that he will not be taking part in the event in order to spend more time with his GB International kit (Mountain Running) and Mo Farah has been told that he has "missed the deadline" and so the Euopean 10,000m record holder has been placed on a waiting list for a lane in the 'H' 800m race. It is also thought the BMC were forced to reject applications from Tariku Bekele on the grounds that he wasn't as good as his brother and Ryan Hall because "no one really liked him". Andy Baddeley is due to take part despite concerns on his part that other competitors were "a bit thick".