BMC CHIEF SHOULD QUIT SAYS CAMERON

'BETTER ORGANISED RIOTS': PM Cameron blasts BMC set up

The Prime Minister has today branded the debacle surrounding the forthcoming BMC Grand Prix at Watford "a national joke" and has demanded the resignation of the organisation's top dog - Pat Fitzgerald. The under fire chief executive has remained silent since his Grand Prix Organising Committee (GPOC) took the sensational step of re-opening registration for the event after closing it five days early on Monday.

"It has been a total disaster" thundered Cameron from Downing Street today "how can classy athletes like Joe MacDonald and Stephen Emery have their entries deferred whilst others sail into the event without a second look? It is humiliating for those involved and it is high time that the BMC took this sort of foul up more seriously". The firm words from the PM come just three months after he pledged to clear up the "horrendous state of athletics under the old Government". Fitzgerald is likely to be summoned to Downing Street before the week is out to explain yet another humiliation for the supposed "premier middle distance club" in the country.

Last week, Alasdair Donaldson (who doesn't have time to read this blog) used his annual press conference heap scorn on BMC for "fundamentally failing athletics". "When I was in school" blasted the Scot "BMC were the be all and end all. They are a bit of a joke now". It is understood that George Gandy's PA has not ruled out boycotting the event by "refusing to make the tea" for the officials - who last year failed to spot several athletes crossing the line.

Meanwhile, Pete Matthews has announced that he will not be taking part in the event in order to spend more time with his GB International kit (Mountain Running) and Mo Farah has been told that he has "missed the deadline" and so the Euopean 10,000m record holder has been placed on a waiting list for a lane in the 'H' 800m race. It is also thought the BMC were forced to reject applications from Tariku Bekele on the grounds that he wasn't as good as his brother and Ryan Hall because "no one really liked him". Andy Baddeley is due to take part despite concerns on his part that other competitors were "a bit thick".

BADDELEY SET FOR MASTERMIND TEST

Andy Baddeley has shelved winter training in order to sharpen up for a forthcoming appearance on the BBC's Mastermind. Baddeley - who claims the show's title was in honour of him - has said that his involvement is inspired by a belief that "Britain is getting thicker". The one-time 3:49 miler is rumoured to be filming as early as February and has chosen a specialist subject of Particle Physics. A spokesman for the Harrrow man has denied speculation that he is only going ahead with idea as sales of his début book Quantum Chromodynamics and the Long Distance Runner: Thoughts and Observations have been disappointing. "Andy is ready to prove to all the world that he has the best mind in the business" said the aide "and above all he just wants to prove that he is an ordinary guy, doing ordinary things."

Baddeley's campaign to prove what his people call "normality" took a backward step over the summer, when the European fifth placer slammed Kenyans for their lack of intelligence. "It was a shame the press chose to focus on that" continued his press secretary "but since then, Andy has made a real effort to show that he is just a normal world class athlete with a double first from Cambridge. For example, just last month he watched five minutes of the X Factor whilst he waited for his show about the history of the Large Electron-Positron Collider to come onto BBC Four."

The part time lecturer at St Mary's is slated to appear on the celebrity edition of the show alongside Big Brother star Kinga Karolczak and Fame Academy winner David Sneddon. Baddeley did concede that he "had never heard" of either rival but hoped for "some lively mathematical related banter" backstage.

McCORMICK FURY AT WALL OF FAME SNUB

Nick McCormick has said that he is “very upset” not to have been asked to sign the Teddington Wall of Fame. The Wall was the subject of a documentary on Echo backed site Athleticos.org and is said to feature some of the best athletic talent in the world. “I can’t believe I wasn’t asked to sign,” thundered McCormick from a hastily arranged press conference in Loughborough, “have you seen the no hopers that have got to sign it? I was in Teddington just last week and no one said a word. It’s very poor.”

Scott Overall, who shares his house with the Wall, revealed that there was a careful screening process for anyone who wanted to sign. “We’ve had problems with some,” said the Blackheath and Bromley man, “the Kenyans haven’t seen a pen before and some of the St. Mary’s lot didn’t know how to spell their name.” Overall said that McCormick’s request would be given “due consideration” but warned against the Morpeth man getting his hopes up. “I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were him,” said the GB International, “we have standards around here and I’m not sure that we can let someone sign it just because they threw their toys out of the pram. The only time that has happened was when Andy Baddeley threatened to bring the universe to an end if we didn’t back down.”

For his part, McCormick has said that he “isn’t interested” in a pity signing. “It’s their loss in my opinion,” said the 3:33.9 1500m runner, “that wall will always be lacking something and they’ll have to deal with that.” Rumours that he was going to start his own wall in Loughborough exclusively for those who have been rejected from the Teddington Wall have so far proved wide of the mark.

‘STUPID’ KENYANS FRUSTRATE BADDELEY

Andy Baddeley has blamed “inane conversations with stupid athletes” for his less than impressive form this season. In a revealing interview with the Lufbra Echo, the British number one bemoaned the intelligence of the average Kenyan. “Let’s face it,” said the Cambridge graduate, “[the Kenyans] aren’t on the same level as me. They’re dull and I can’t stand making small talk with anybody- least of all them.” Baddeley, who claims to be in the shape of his life athletically, has not troubled his personal records since 2008 but has refused to let this get to him. “With 150m to go at the European Championships I was certain I would win the Gold Medal,” said the Harrow man, “but then I realised that my IQ was higher than the rest of the field put together and it put me right off.” Baddeley also said that his campaign for all athletes to be degree educated was not going as well as he might have hoped. “It’s for everyone’s benefit,” thundered the one time 3:49 miler, “I just can’t stand sitting in call rooms with a procession of dumb ass Kenyans staring blankly into space or at their managers. I tried to strike up a conversation with Asbel Kiprop about the complexities of particle physics and he didn’t know what I was talking about.”

Baddeley, who says that his part time lecturing at St. Mary’s is charity work for the “intellectually challenged”, has been forced to mount a rigorous defence of his racing tactics this season. Steve Cram and Brendan Foster both felt that he overestimated his ability to kick away from his rivals in the European Championships. “What an earth do they [Cram and Foster] know about how to run a race? I really do get tired of simpletons telling me what to do,” said the fifth placer, “I executed my races perfectly; it was just my realisation of how intelligent I am comparatively wrought havoc with my psychophysiology.” Many have also questioned Baddeley’s decision to stick with New Balance as his sponsor despite lucrative approaches from Nike and Adidas: “This is because New Balance understand my intellectual quality,” he explained whilst showing off his Graduation certificates from Cambridge, “Nike is for idiots who can’t handle more complex logos.”

ATHLETICS COULD IN SOME WAY BE A LITTLE LIKE THE WORLD CUP SHOCK

BANDWAGON: The Echo would never think of jumping on one

In line with much of the media at the moment- not least Athletics' own Athletics Weekly- we are going to diligently list the 11 ways in which Track and Field can be compared to the Football World Cup.

1. ROONEY: Well, it doesn't take a genius to work out that England's Wayne shares his name with the far more famous Martyn- Team GB's heroic Olympic finalist.

2. PENALTY SHOOT-OUT: In some ways, the relays can be seen as a bit of a penalty shoot-out. We spend a lot of money on them but are still absolutely hopeless.

3. DELUSION: 'England are going to win the World Cup.' Much in the same way that Andy Baddeley is going to break the World 1500m record.

4. RUNNING: Footballers run. Coincidently so do athletes.

5. CAPELLO: Is the Echo alone in thinking that Sir Fabio (won't be long) looks quite a lot like the far more famous UKA Director of everything except endurance, Charles Van Commenee?

6. USAIN BOLT: ....likes football. Therefore it must be cool.

7. WATFORD BMC: The plucky BMC are directly competing with the England match tonight. ITV are understood to be offering a 'split screen' service to customers via the red button.

8. SCOTLAND: Are as terrible at football as they are at athletics.

9. GOLD: The World Cup is gold. Isn't it amazing that athletes chase gold medals in the Olympics as well?

10. THE FA: Nearly as useless UKA....but not quite.

11. SPONSORSHIP: Sponsors love World Cup. So we at the Echo would like to declare our love for the competition. It's great, isn't it? How a well read blog like this one can be so clearly linked to this multi-billion pound market? I am sure that lots of people would buy a product that was endorsed on a site that may possibly have exclusive coverage of the way in which athletics is a lot like football (or soccer if you are an American company). Not that a site would ever sell out like that.

GANDY BEMUSED BY EMERY SUCCESS

George Gandy has conceded that he is "at a loss" to explain why Stephen Emery has had such a good winter. Emery today ended an impressive season with a 14:44 short leg at the Midland 12 Stage Relays. Speaking from a UKA team bonding day, Gandy said "it makes no sense at all. We have thrown everything at him: weights, drill, circuits- that body isn't designed for such abuse." The Coventry Godiva star has gone from strength to strength since joining Loughborough in 2008, finishing 55th at the National Cross and enjoying a string of top ten placings in the Birmingham League. After a disappointing summer, Gandy confessed that he had written Emery off. "To be honest I forgot his name," said the self-proclaimed guru, "but then he ran unbelievably well at the Leeds Relays so I had to re-learn it."

For his part, Emery has put his success down to a "sensible" lifestyle. "I never do anything silly," said the 22 year-old, "I enjoy a glass of warm milk before bed every night and am rarely out of bed after 10pm." His meteoric rise to fame in the past six months has left some eating their words and Emery admitted that this drove him on. "I know that some people like Seb Foy and Tim Dalton have got it in for me, but that makes me be more and more sensible in training." Many have drawn parallels between Emery and Andy Baddeley's running styles, but the 3:57 man dismissed such comparisons as "insulting". "My running style is better than a lot of people think and the sooner they realise that the sooner they will get over losing all the time," stormed Emery, "Baddeley is over-rated and he has every reason to be threatened by me."

Gandy maintained that he was hopeful Emery would "make a mess" of his summer again and thus he would be able to focus on "serious athletes". "He peaked in South Africa last year and let's hope the same happens in Portugal next month," said the LSAC Director, "I'm not sure what will happen if he runs well in the summer as well." Gandy was then called away to commence some trust exercises with other UKA senior staffers. These are believed to have included pin the funding on the athlete and a new game to "randomly draw" names of athletes invited to the next altitude training trip. It is not yet known whether they were a success.