DONALDSON APRIL FOOLS PRANK BACKFIRES

Alasdair Donaldson has been arrested for wasting police time after telling John Nutall that "there was a bomb underneath his car". Loughborough's HiPAC was surrounded by Police from first thing this morning and air traffic at East Midlands airport had to be diverted. Meanwhile, the M1 was closed from Junction 22 to 23A until the all clear was given late in the afternoon. The motorway is still at a standstill now as a result.

It is understood that George Gandy's PA (who does not have time to read this blog) told fellow assistant Nutall that he "had seen George put it [the bomb] there" and that it was "armed to go off if [Nutall] opened the door". Horrified, Nutall dialed 999 and the incident escalated from there. Matters were not helped when George Gandy did not answer his mobile phone and Donaldson (now seemingly on a roll) told them it was "because he was in a meeting with terrorists".

Police bomb disposal experts discharged a controlled explosion of a crisp packet at around noon and it was then that Donaldson was taken into custody. It is understood that the incident is likely to have cost in excess of £5m and the Chief Constable of Leicestershire Police slammed blasted Donaldson's actions. "Totally irresponsible" thundered the top cop "he may have done pranks like this when he was in school, but not in the real world. I know that he is an apprentice and if I was Lord Sugar, I'd be saying 'you're fired'!"

It is unlikely that this latest gaffe from Donaldson will go down very well with UKA, however a source refused to speculate on "the future of any members of the admin team". Last year, Gandy himself was forced to apologise after upsetting the whole of Portugal by telling them that "the Spanish were coming to get them". Donaldson will have to hope that the authorities are equally kind to him.

POKING SCANDAL LEAVES HOWE ON BRINK

David Howe and Alasdair Donaldson's relationship is "beyond economical repair" after Donaldson failed to return the Canadian's Facebook 'poke'. Loughborough's assistant coach is understood to have used the feature over the weekend in a bid to show that there were no hard feelings towards George Gandy's PA after the pair clashed at the Ed Prickett Relays. Onlookers were shocked as they had to be separated in a row over Donaldson's cap.

"David is absolutely gutted" said a source close to the academic "he really thought he had a kindred spirit in Alasdair and that together they could take the reigns when Mr Gandy stands down. He is seriously thinking about moving on now." It is not the first time that Donaldson has found himself in hot water over Facebook usage. The tea and coffee man was fined and firmly reprimanded by UKA last year when he deleted Charles Van Commonee and just last week the Daily Mail published an interview with an enraged Dani Christmas claiming she was "ignored" on the site's chat facility.

It is thought that Gandy will look to host "clear the air" talks tomorrow, but with both parties refusing to confirm their attendance a resolution is looking increasingly unlikely. Insiders have told of how the guru is becoming "extremely frustrated with the "pathetic squabbles" between his deputies. Earlier this year, he was forced to publicly revoke John Nutall's parking privileges after he was deemed to of "maliciously" parked in the space reserved for Bill Foster. This latest dispute "could be the straw that breaks the camel's back" according to insiders and "may lead to an embarrassing dismissal" before the week is out.

LORD GURU GANDY SET TO NAME APPRENTICE

The climax of "the job interview from hell" is to be reached this weekend as the Guru reveals the chosen one - and winner of a three figure salary - from the two remaining candidates. Alasdair Donaldson and David Howe have beaten off the competition of thousands and a twelve month selection process in order to go head to head in the final. Donaldson - who does not have the time to read this blog - has five times been in the firing line and has the poorer record of the two. Canadian Howe, meanwhile, only came unstuck in the Craig Mottram task when his athlete was nearly lapped by the Australian.

"Alasdair has shown great passion and tenacity" explained the Guru to a the BBC's One Show, "he has a lot to learn but if he was prepared to listen, I am sure we could do something with him." Donaldson has been a controversial figure from the start and was almost immediately sent packing when he project managed the disastrous Portugal task. On that occasion, he was able to convince the Guru of his "huge potential" and passed the blame on to the "virtually absent" John Nutall who was fired. The Fife man then went on to record some big wins - most notably in the Circuit Session task where he scrapped the conventional method of calling out time every 30 seconds for an automated watch and then again in the Emailing task, where he sent all of the Guru's emails out in the quickest time.

"David is more a safe pair of hands" said the Guru of Howe "he has been round the block a few times, but I am concerned about his maverick tendencies." Howe was lucky to escape in Portugal after his team recorded a narrow victory. However, the Middle Saturday task led to him being heavily criticised by Ian Anholm - one of his Lordship's aides - for spiking the drink of one his athletes in a bid to help him relax. Howe shone in the Winter Session task when he "rolled the dice" in opting to go ahead with a grass session despite explicit instructions to do otherwise. Howe was also praised for a "spark of brilliance" when opting to ignore the fact that one of his athletes had tripped and fallen in a 1500m race. Calling it "a moment of true intuition" the Guru immediately put the Canadian through to the latter stages much to the ire of Bill Foster, with whom Howe has regularly clashed. Foster was fired after the Easy Run task went wrong and some of his athletes were spotted running sub-5 minute miles - something that Foster claims was "David's idea".

The final task sees the two finalists really put through their paces as they both pitch to the Guru their ideas for his 'Office Expansion Project.' The winner will be rewarded with a seat in the corner of the new office and the dream opportunity of making Lord Gandy's tea.

'NO TENSION' AT LOUGHBOROUGH: GANDY

George Gandy has denied speculation that "an increasing tension" between his three assistant coaches is ruining preparations for the new season. The guru, who was en route to the Commonwealth Games in Delhi (subject to change), denied that he had had to separate Alasdair Donaldson and John Nutall in an argument over who should be named 'Acting Director and Guru-in-Waiting' whilst Gandy is away. "That's nonsense, total rubbish" thundered Gandy from his private plane, "it's just tabloid speculation and we can do without it." Gandy revealed that his post would be "shared" between the three assistants while he was away. "I will still be running things from the Blackberry," said the guru, "there will be strict instructions as to what to do in an emergency."

Reports in yesterday's papers told of how the unease between Donaldson, Nutall and the 'third man' David Howe was "all consuming". It is believed to have started when Howe insisted that he sit at Gandy's desk on a "trial basis" and escalated when Donaldson used his twitter account to slam "nobody Howe" and "yesterday's Nutall". Meanwhile the debate over who should do the infamous 'Welcome Talk' for first year students is also hotting up. With Bill Foster throwing his hat into the ring and George Gandy refusing to back any candidate, it looks as if what should be a friendly introduction will turn into a four-way brawl. Foster told the Echo that his results should speak for themselves: "I'm not interested in taking over from George," said Loughborough's most successful coach of all time "but if you look at it logically, you can see that [the other coaches] are a joke. David's athletes nearly get lapped, Alasdair's barely out of nappies and John is from Preston".

Elsewhere, Howe has been forced to apologise after adding "everyone on Facebook" except for one of his leading stars. The athlete in question - who is believed to focus on longer distances - told the Sun that he was "deeply hurt" by the snub. "It keeps cropping up on my news feed: 'David Howe is friends with....' and yet it's never me," said the anonymous African Violet "it makes me wonder whether it's worth committing my future to this club". Keen to play down the incident, a spokesman for the Canadian said that the matter "was being looked into" and apologised for any upset the "misunderstanding" could have caused.

NEWS IN BRIEF

DASAOLOU TO APLOGISE FOR ITALIAN RANT

Britain's next big sprinting hope, James Dasaolu, is being forced into an embarrassing U-Turn this morning after clashing with an Italian police officer. The 10.06 (wind assisted) man is currently on a training trip to Rome and is alleged to have "completely lost it" with the officer after being informed that his hire car was parked illegally. By-standers were left stunned as Dasaolu was restrained by close pal and training partner, Harry Aikines-Aryeetey. Dasaolu was particularly upset as the policeman in question had watched the two sprint aces take 20 minutes to maneuver the vehicle into the spot. This in itself brought a heated exchange between the two friends with Dasaolou branding Aikines-Aryeetey an "idiot" as his directions were unclear. One bystander has alleged that Dasaolu's car "clearly touched" another vehicle and it was at this point that the police officer had no option but to become involved. "It was quite funny," said Liverpudlian tourist Denise, "the smaller one [Dasaolou] was getting all upset because the bigger one [Aryeetey] kept doing press ups when he should have been directing him." UK Athletics have said that they will be insisting that their charge apologise to the Italian police generally after calling them "a bunch of corrupt losers who no one likes." Dasaolu, who is not known for his intelligence, is also thought to have injured himself by kicking what he thought was a football in a fit of rage. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a solid marble decorative boulder. A UKA insider has said that the injury is "not season threatening".

JONES TO SET UP CAKE SHOP

Disgraced American sprinter, Marion Jones, is to set up a cake shop in Los Angeles, the Lufbra Echo understands. The cakes, which will be "special brand", will be made by the sprinter herself in a joint venture with fellow dope, Justin Gatlin. Jones is rumoured to have "excelled" on a cookery course she took whilst serving time in prison for defrauding just about everybody she has ever met. However, doubt has been cast on her ability as a prison insider told of how she was disqualified from her final Cake Making Board Exams. "She stole some pre-made cakes from the kitchen," our source said, "and then rigorously denied the allegations. Her cakes never failed an authenticity test, but there was enough evidence to link her with the fraud." Weeks of rumours apparently led to a teary confession on the steps outside the infirmary, where Jones said that she had "let everyone down" particularly her beloved cell-mate Greta 'Biatch, the G-Dog', Griffiths. The Jones-Gatlin camp, have dismissed the allegations and are instead focusing on the "exciting venture" that the pair are currently working on. "We hope that people will either eat in or take out," said a spokesman, "they have decided to call it 'Clean Cakes' and hope that consumers see the irony." USA Track and Field have condemned the plans and warned all of their athletes not to frequent the establishment. LaShwan Merritt was thought to be involved in initial plans for the store, but was forced to pull out citing "little problems".

McLEOD IN BIRTHDAY GAFFE

Ryan McLeod celebrated his birthday 24 hours too early in what has been called a "pacing mix up". The Tipton Harrier turned 25 yesterday, but was seen out on Sunday evening celebrating with pals. One observer said, "someone went up to him and suggested that he was going too early and he [McLeod] just glared at him and said 'who do you think you are? Tom Russell?'" It was only in the early hours of the following morning that McLeod realised his blunder but by this time it was too late. "The damage had been done," sighed coach John Nutall, "Ryan tried to make it a true run birthday celebration, but it didn't work out- he was just too eager." It is rumoured that the 13:54 5k man was left "absolutely shattered" for his actual birthday evening. An insider said, "he had nothing left. He had been doing far too much of the work."

EMERY CONFIDENT AHEAD OF MIDLANDS TEST

Stephen Emery has revealed that he is "absolutely certain" that he will win the Midlands' 1500m title this weekend. The Coventry man suffered a blip last week at the BMC Sport City meeting, but claimed that "nobody, not even a cat on EPO" could touch him this weekend. "Sport City was Sport City. I think we all know that it was a joke there and that Gary [Bradbury] maliciously taunted me hair highlights before the race. I'm ready now- come and get me." Emery is likely to face stiff opposition from the likes of Tom Russell and Tim Dalton, but the 3:49 1500m man has had firm words for his rivals. "None of them have achieved what I have. I am the BUCS bronze medalist and showed my kicking ability in that race, so I know I can live with anything."

LSAC IN CRISIS AS DONALDSON LAUNCHES LEADERSHIP BID

Loughborough insiders have revealed that “months of uncertainty” surround the most successful student athletics club in history. Alasdair Donaldson, assistant to LSAC supremo George Gandy, has today announced a formal leadership challenge to the guru- who is not due back from France until Tuesday. The news comes as the student side of the club gears up for elections in a matter of weeks. Rob Hodges, the current LSAC President, was rumoured to be seeking a dissolution of his committee as early as next Wednesday, but Donaldson’s announcement has forced these ideas to be shelved. President Hodges said that “democracy must take its course” but would not be drawn on whether he is planning on supporting the coup.

Donaldson, who only arrived in Loughborough in January, launched his campaign manifesto to a group of three outside the High Performance Athletics Centre this afternoon. In it, he pledges to “put Loughborough first” and to “abolish Tuesday night grass sessions”. He is also calling for a “fundamental reform” in the way Club Directors are appointed in future. The Scot said, “it isn’t right that someone like George can be at the helm for over 30 years....the club is tired and we need a change.”

It is unknown how well his move will be supported with many, including John Nutall, remaining silent this evening. Quick fire opinion polls have shown it unlikely that the 33 year-old would be able to gain an outright majority of votes and therefore automatically win the keys to “the upstairs office”. A spokesman from polling agency, YouGov said “there is an appetite for change, and I think some feel that Mr. Gandy may not be the right man to take the club forward. However, opinions are mixed on whether Mr. Donaldson is the right man to do it.” Donaldson’s supporters refused to rule out a potential coalition with fellow assistant David Howe “if it were enough to get him over the line”. Dr. Howe is currently in Finland, but his spokesman said that he “only sought stable governance within LSAC and nothing else.” Commentators have said that this “leaves the door completely open” for either Donaldson or Gandy to approach him. The BBC’s Sports Editor, Matthew Bond said “it is clear that it could come down to David Howe to play kingmaker in this situation....it’s an unenviable but hugely exciting position to be in”.

Some have said that this is “the worst possible time” for such uncertainty with the club looking at an “eye-watering” level of debt. “Our deficit is reaching record highs and now is not the time for leadership bickering,” said a well placed source, “we need speedy and decisive stability- along with strong leadership”. It is unlikely that the situation will be resolved until Mr. Gandy returns from Front Romeu later this week, but Donaldson knows that he has just taken the biggest gamble of his career. Either it will work and he will lead LSAC, or it will fail and his career will be over before it ever really began.

BUCS DAY THREE.....

Well, it's all over. Another year, another early-season 'major' Championships comes to an end. The Lufbra Echo rounds up the action from the last day.....

HOWE DENIES BATH AMBITION

Loughborough's assistant coach, David Howe has "categorically denied" rumours linking him with a big money move to Bath University. The Canadian was mobbed by journalists as he arrived at Bedford this morning after Bath chiefs were seen meeting with him late last night. This morning's Sun carried pictures of Bath students wearing "GO CANUCKS" t-shirts and quoted the University's Director of Sport saying that he "had always had the utmost respect for all Canadians". When contacted by the Echo this morning, Bath insiders revealed that University supremos were "ready to commit to the right man" to lead the athletics set up. "Bath are ready to become a major force in Track and Field," said a source, "we have secured a lot of funding and are on the lookout for someone to lead us to a BUCS Outdoor push within the next few years." The spokesman dismissed speculation that George Gandy was about to "offload" Alasdair Donaldson on the spa town.

Howe meanwhile was keeping a low profile at today's events and was carefully watched by Loughborough's security personnel. John Nutall, however, did reveal that Howe was "thinking seriously" about his future and that "any opportunity would be looked at". The Preston born coach went on, "if I was David, I would be flattered. The opportunity to lead a great team like Bath with good backing is a once in a lifetime. I hope they find someone. Maybe a disgruntled UKA employed Prestonian with an excellent CV and good track performances to match. But who knows?"

As he drove away from the stadium, Howe called the links "ridiculous" before nearly causing a major accident by pulling out in front a a speeding BMW.

'ARCTIC' TEMPERATURES FRUSTRATE BRADBURY

Gary Bradbury has called for next year's Championships to be held elsewhere after bemoaning the "stupidly cold" conditions for the 1500m final. "It was terrible," said the Woking star, "I seriously considered racing in a tracksuit." Bradbury, who finished 4th, also responded to criticism that he did not take his semi-final seriously enough after sending a text message half-way through the race. "Look, if the other guys insist on running that slowly, then I am bound to get bored," fumed the 3:43 man, "I had been meaning to text this guy back about Chelsea tickets for a while and so I thought I would before I forgot."

Bradbury was not the only man to hit out at the weather. The entire Loughborough men's 4x100m team initially refused to race owing to a "ludicrous risk" of muscular damage. Luke Stott explained from the call room, "I have just been out there and let me tell you there's no way we can run it. It wouldn't be safe." Officials have denied that they were considering bringing in heaters to warm the track for the relays. "That was never on the cards," said an insider, "it was raised by a junior staffer and we dismissed it immediately. Thankfully the Loughborough guys relented after Ian Anholm threatened to ban the use of ice baths back in the East Midlands."

EMERY 'THRILLED' AFTER SENSIBLE DISPLAY

Stephen Emery has spoken of his "delight" after securing a bronze medal in the final of the men's 5,000m. The Coventry star stunned other competitors with a lethal 27.63 final 200m and made no effort to hide his glee. "I hope this shuts everyone up now," Emery told the Echo immediately afterwards, "Ben Green and the like have been on at me for so long. Why don't I increase this or do more of that- but this proves that being sensible is what counts." So sensible was Emery that he missed the medal presentation in order to complete his systematic cool down. "What a stupid time to hold the ceremony," said the 22 year-old, "if I didn't do my jog and exercises I would live to regret it for sure."

There is no doubting Emery's impressive performance this morning. Initially sitting just behind the main pack, the 1:52 800m man made steady progress throughout the middle portion of the race and unleashed his impressive sprint at the right moment. Unfortunately for him, race leaders Nick Goolab and Rory Chesser had got away from the field by this stage and it had become a scrap for bronze. Speaking after the race, new champion Nick Goolab bemoaned a "pedestrian" opening gambit. "The first few laps were absolutely ridiculous," said the Belgrave star, "I wish I hadn't bothered to warm up now it was so slow. Eventually I decided to turn it into a tempo and Rory was the only guy brave enough to come with me." Goolab also showed a good race awareness as he kicked away from Chesser in the final 100m. "It just wasn't my day," sighed a deflated Chesser after the race, "Goolab started saying nasty things to me in the last kilometre like 'you need a hair cut' and 'your socks are rubbish'. I guess that got to me."

McLEOD SEASON IN JEAPORDY AFTER CALL OF DUTY DEFEAT

Ryan McLeod has confessed today that he "does not know" how long he will be out of action following a catastrophic incident with his Playstation 3 on Monday. The 24 year-old was so incensed at being beaten by Olympic 400m finalist Martyn Rooney that he kicked his console from one side of the room to the other. The pair had been locked in a fierce battle "for some hours" before McLeod made what he has called a "basic error". Rooney for his part was said to be vitriolic and it was a combination of this and personal frustration that led to McLeod's violent response. "It didn't hurt that much at the time," explained the abashed Tipton Harrier, "but when I woke up on Tuesday, I could barely walk."

McLeod's coach, John Nutall, is said to be fuming at the incident and has pledged to have "firm words" with all of his charges over the potential pitfalls computer games. "This is not the first time computers have got in the way of athletics," sighed the coach, "I remember when Chris Thompson lost to Scott Overall on Pro Evolution Soccer- the pair were literally at each other's throats."

McLeod is set to undergo a scan towards the end of the week and has said that he is "hopeful" the injury is not too serious. "It's not a fracture," he affirmed "it can't be as I didn't even break my PS3". McLeod has been known to react poorly to computer game defeats in the past. Last year he unwittingly knocked a neighbour unconscious when he tossed his controller out of his second-floor window in a fit of rage. Just last month, the 5k man was in trouble after hurling abuse at autograph hunters on a late-night visit to Tesco. It was only after the incident that McLeod revealed that he was "stocking up" ahead of a long night's play and was "under immense pressure."

GANDY FUMING AFTER TRAINING BLUNDER

George Gandy has threatened to fly home from the World Indoor Championships after his gaffe-prone deputies "made a complete mess" of Tuesday night's training session. The self-proclaimed 'guru' slammed his assistant coaches for failing to allow the 5km group sufficient time to recover from their tempo run before moving onto hill repetitions. "That [the 5km error] was one of a number of things I was unhappy with" stormed Gandy from his Doha hotel, "I heard that we had people dropping out all over the place with 'stomach complaints' and some in the 800m group doing 20 minute tempo runs....a complete fiasco I'm afraid." It is thought the mix up occurred after Alasdair Donaldson sent an un-sanctioned email to the entire endurance group "clarifying" the training situation. "He [Donaldson] shouldn't have done that" said Gandy, "I'm the only one who can send emails".

This is not the first time things have gone awry in Gandy's absence. Late last year a Beacon Hill session was labelled "a disaster" by the guru when half the group trained at 11am and the other at 2:30pm. Several key athletes were hauled before Loughborough chiefs at the time to explain themselves. More recently, John Nutall was in hot water for running an "alternative" morning session on a Saturday. The pair had to be separated by stunned observers after Gandy threatened to revoke Nutall's campus car parking privileges.

Gandy has said that he spoke at length with Donaldson yesterday evening, but that in itself led to another foul-up. The Scot was supposed to be overseeing a Circuits session at the time and a whole minute passed without a single call- leaving some 'horizontal sprinting' the entire time. This was too much for 800m starlet Dani Christmas who branded the whole session a "waste of time". "I did 30 seconds too much on burpees," harrumphed Christmas calling Dame Kelly Holmes, "that could ruin my entire season now."

LSAC's Director is expected back in the East Midlands on Tuesday and will doubtless be hoping his program can remain in one piece until then.