MANCHESTER CITY GAMES NEWS

Ahead of this weekend's big event in the London of the North, the lufbra echo excites in the build up


OHURUOGU 'FORGETS' TO PAY FOR PARKING

The Olympic 400m Champion has been slapped with a £70.00 fine by Manchester City Council after failing to pay and display during a shopping trip. It is understood that Ohuruogu will appeal the fine on the grounds that she had to "change her shopping plans at the last minute" and "with all the other stress of being an athlete" shouldn't be expected to remember to pay for parking her 4x4 with blacked out windows.

CHAMBERS BANNED FROM ENTERING 'THE NORTH'

Belgrave's Dwain Chambers has been asked not to venture north of the Watford Gap this weekend on the grounds that he may bring adverse publicity to an event designed to laud the success of Track & Field. It is understood that the sprint king successfully appealed an action from the organisers to ask him to leave the country. Greek sprint darling Katerina Thanou is a guest at tonight's gala dinner.

GEB WARNED AFTER PUSHING OVER GAY

Haile Gebrsalassie has been sanctioned by UK Athletics after attempting to push Tyson Gay into the Manchester Canal during a photo-shoot. The marathon world record holder reduced Gay to tears after repeated taunts about his inability to beat Usain Bolt. An insider revealed that the Ethiopian "told Tyson that even Bolt was a part timer and still much better than him. It was then that he pushed him over but he didn't quite fall in the canal". UKA held a private meeting between the two parties but refused to elaborate on what action - if any - would be taken.

24 HOUR SECURITY PROMISED AFTER THEFT

The 150m straight track was stolen by some visiting Liverpudlians, the lufbra echo can reveal. It is understood that the group - thought to be associated with Liverpool Harriers and led by Johnny Mellor - rolled the track up and put in the back of a Vauxhaull Astra estate (1.6l, XXXL exhaust, no hubcaps). Officials have condemned the theft and stated that David Oliver had now been placed on permanent guard of the new track.

SPORT CITY BMC GRAND PRIX PREVIEW

The Echo looks ahead to the first major test for the distance fraternity.

Ryan McLeod will aim to dispel rumours that he “cannot count to twelve” when he makes his seasonal debut over 5,000m. The Tipton Harrier looked impressive in storming to a magnificent PB of 8:00.90 over 3,000m on Sunday- but revealed that there “should be more to come” as he goes head to head with Johnny Mellor for the first time since the now infamous Champs Elysees-gate. The pair fell out as the Geordie attempted to drive the “wrong way” around a Parisian roundabout, resulting in Mellor being pictured attempting to steal the hubcaps of the McLeod mobile not far from the Eifel Tower. Speaking exclusively to the Lufbra Echo, the Loughborough based McLeod said that he “did not know” how he was going to react when he saw the Liverpudlian. “There’s a lot of hurt there,” sighed the 13:58 5k man, “he clearly cheated on Call of Duty and I hate people like that”.

Elsewhere, rumours that the disgraced AAAs fraudster, Pete Matthews was set to make his first outing of what he promises will be a “massive” season have been shown to be wide of the mark. It seems that Matthews is saving his premiere for the notoriously high quality Northern League in a fortnight. His spokesman has said that the red head is still “very much on” to achieve his “minimum targets” of under 1:56, 3:55, 8:30 and 15 minutes for 800m, 1500, 3k and 5k respectively. “The thing is, Pete will be embarrassed if he doesn’t achieve these times,” said a close source, “he is a cut above the average and will prove it this year”.

A major blow came for the event when both Frank Baddick and Nick McCormick snubbed the opportunity to race on the grounds that it was “now below” them. Speaking from a press conference earlier in the week, McCormick was keen to dismiss rumours that his “offensively short” hair was still preventing him from gaining entry to British events. “It was my decision,” affirmed the Morpeth star, “I am better than that now. It [the hair] is causing a few issues though. I am certain that it is lowering my core temperature and that led to a poor performance in Rehlingen [where he ran 3:41]”. Baddick, meanwhile has revealed that he has “moved on” from British races generally. “I just think it’s time for a change,” said the Newham and Essex Beagle, “I’ve heard that the water on the continent is more conducive to fast running and so will try there.” Stephen Emery, who clashed with Baddick earlier in the season, called his decision “an indication of how desperate he has become.” The Coventry man, who has been a revelation this year, said “he knows that I’m top dog around here now and so has to go elsewhere. I warned everyone- I told them I would come for them and now I have. It’s over for Frank. He is finished.” Emery will attempt to keep up his extraordinary run of either running a PB or winning a medal in every race of the season so far as he goes up against Gary Bradbury in the 800m D race.

NEWS ROUND-UP

With election fever gripping Britain, the Echo focuses on what's important and rounds up all that is new in France, Loughborough and beyond.....

McLEOD RUES DRIVING DECISION

Ryan McLeod has refused to drive his car back to the United Kingdom in the wake of allegations that travel mates, Lewis Moses and Johnny Mellor are not taking their navigational responsibilities seriously. The journey to Front Romeu- some 1,000 miles- took significantly longer than slated after McLeod made several “basic errors” in his directional choice. Mellor revealed earlier this month that he was “livid” with his driver as he refused to follow the instructions of the Sat Nav. However, yesterday Mellor went further, revealing that the convoy had “gone via Poland” in a bid to reach the altitude camp before nightfall. “I couldn’t care less if that daft lad doesn’t want to drive home,” said Mellor, “I’m quite happy to steal the car and drive myself.”

McLeod is rumoured to have been recalled from Barcelona airport having “forgotten” that he was due to drive back to the UK. It was only when he returned to the UKA base that it was revealed that he was having second thoughts over the decision. The Tipton Harrier was remaining silent this morning and refused to take any calls from journalists, but it looks as if days of negotiations lie ahead. UKA have called in specialist negotiators in to try and bring the crisis to a swift end, but it seems that there are “fundamental disagreements” between the two parties. An insider said, “Ryan thinks that Lewis and Johnny should take their role as navigators more seriously. He is also demanding that only songs from his iPod be played throughout the journey.” McLeod, who has a personalised number plate in order to help him remember which car is his, courted criticism on a recent day trip when he ditched conventional roads in an effort to beat George Gandy to a restaurant. His passengers, who have asked not to be named, told of a “terrifying” plunge down a number of ski slopes.

RANKINGS GAFFE INFRURIATES EMERY

Stephen Emery has said that he is “seriously considering” his participation in the Loughborough International later this month after Ian Anholm made an extraordinary error when typing up the latest LSAC rankings. “Why on earth am I not ranked number 1?” fumed the BUCS Outdoor 5,000m Bronze medallist, “who is that nobody, Wall-Clarke? I beat him in the heat and yet he is down as beating me. I am outraged.” Emery told of how this was the latest in a long line of bust ups with Anholm. “He never willingly gives me physio vouchers,” said the Coventry man, “he looks me up and down in a way that says ‘you’re not entitled to them’. Well I think my performance last week [at BUCS] shows that I am.” Anholm refused to comment on the allegation that he “had it in” for Emery, but did concede that the rankings could be wrong. “How am I supposed to get them all right?” protested the Admin supremo, “all I know is that he [Emery] was going backwards in the heat and so I may have assumed Wall-Clarke beat him.”

Anholm stopped short of issuing an apology and instead launched an attack of his own on Emery. Labelling the star “arrogant and dismissive”, Anholm revealed that he had had “a number” of complaints about Emery’s attitude since scooping the medal. “I have heard that he has been surging in runs and then celebrating as if he had won another medal. He also demanded that a fresher clean his spikes the other day and that isn’t on.” It is likely that George Gandy will set out a new disciplinary structure for LSAC upon his return from France, as it has become clear that the guru’s bungling deputies, David Howe and Alasdair Donaldson, are unable to control big names such as Emery. A source for the LSAC chief said, “George is looking forward to the challenge of righting a few wrongs when he gets back. He is disappointed to hear of some of the antics that have occurred in his absence”.

TALCUM POWDER ERROR LEAVES BOWSER EMBROILED IN DRUGS SCANDAL

Matthew Bowser has apologised to his “many fans” for using a brand of talcum powder that contains banned substances. An insider at Bowser’s Front Romeu camp revealed how the sub-30 10k man only realised his gaffe when it was too late. “He offered it around to the other lads,” said our source, “he said that it left his skin feeling wonderfully soft and re-hydrated. Thankfully, Johnny Mellor thought to check the label.” Bowser was forced to admit his wrongs to UKA chiefs and it is thought that the governing body has now launched a “damage limitation” exercise. The City of Sheffield man is “co-operating fully” with French authorities and it is likely that he will be let off with a “firm warning”.

Speaking at a press conference before travelling home this morning Bowser said, “I am one hundred percent responsible. The friendly man in Holland and Barrett never mentioned that there was an issue with it, but I should have asked.” The Lincoln based star went on, “it’s just that I have always struggled with dry and flaky skin- this powder solved those issues and so it is with a heavy heart that I stop using it.” UKA chief Charles Van Commenee sat in on the press conference, but would not be drawn on what sanctions await Bowser. “Let me be clear,” said the performance supremo, “Matthew is only guilty of wanting fresh, peachy skin like that of myself. He has not knowingly committed a doping violation.” Van Commenee went on to state that there had been no noticeable improvement in Bowser’s performances whilst using the powder. “It is unlikely that he inhaled enough to make any real difference,” said the Dutchman, “if he had been finishing sessions and races or producing unbelievable times it would be more of an issue. But he hasn’t so it’s fine”.

Both Van Commenee and Bowser stated that they were “absolutely dedicated” to a drug free sport and that Bowser would be giving a series of lectures on the “dangers of dermatological products” in competition. It is likely that the 14:13 5k man will be counting his blessings that this was discovered before it was too late. Only a fortnight ago, LaShawn Merritt was slapped with a lengthy ban for using a “male enhancement drug”.

UKA CHIEFS FUMING AFTER FRONT ROMEU ‘DISASTER’

The country’s top athletics officials are tonight calling for a “full and frank investigation” into the goings on at the UKA endurance camp in Front Romeu. The revelations come after an official complaint was lodged by French President Sarkozy. The French head of state is said to be angry after cars have been thrown off mountains and a senior member of UKA staff was apprehended attempting to steal the bicycle of a disgruntled Tour de France hopeful. Performance supremo, Charles Van Commenee has not ruled out flying out to the Pyrenees later this week to “bring some order” to proceedings. “It’s a joke,” said the bespectacled ace, “what we need is discipline. They are not there to have fun.” The Dutchman is alleged to be planning to travel to France “as soon as UKA have designed an appropriate ski jacket” for the trip.

Meanwhile, insiders have told of a “blazing row” between George Gandy and Ian Stewart’s bungling PA, Spencer Barden. After “between 10 and 20 inches” of snow fell in the past 24 hours the guru is “hugely frustrated” according to our source. Barden claims that this “has never happened before” and maintains that he is “as frustrated as everyone else” at the weather. “Look, I came on a total of 12 reconnaissance trips and it never snowed. I’m stunned.” Gandy is thought to be upset after all training has had to be put on hold for the foreseeable future. “It’s a calamity,” said LSAC’s Director, “I worked on my tan in Portugal and now it’s fading fast....I woke up this morning and it looked like Kate Moss had sneezed. It’s very poor.” Not all UKA staffers were disappointed, however. Ian Stewart enjoyed “an excellent day” on the skiing slopes. “It was superb,” enthused UKA’s Director of Endurance, “it’s been tough since I returned from my holiday in the Maldives last week and so it was great just to relax.”

The snow has brought with it its own set of unique problems. Ryan McLeod clashed violently with Johnny Mellor in a snowball fight after Mellor beat the Newcastle man on FIFA 2010. Both athletes were left requiring minor medical treatment after the fight, with accusations of foul play marring the brawl. “Johnny’s shown himself to be really quite desperate,” thundered McLeod, “he put stones in the snowballs and that really hurt. He cheated on FIFA as well.” McLeod went on to accuse the Liverpool man of "living up to his reputation" by allegedly stealing some hubcaps on the trip down. For his part, Mellor rejected the "ridiculous accusations" and blamed his travel-mate for a poor start to the training trip. Referring to the fact that McLeod had driven the star to Front Romeu, he said “the plonker was all over the place. We had to remind him which side of the road to drive on and he kept playing on his iPhone.....I feel physically sick just thinking about it.” McLeod did concede a "catastrophic error" in forgetting to disable the "data roaming" facility on his iPhone. "It's going to cost a fortune," said the 13:58 5k man, "Lewis [Moses] has been on there downloading Michael Buble videos on YouTube."

NEWS ROUND-UP

LOUGHBOROUGH ELITE ARRIVE SAFELY IN PORTUGAL DESPITE PRIVACY SCARE

Loughborough’s top athletes have landed in Portugal and are “ready to commence a tough period of training” according to insiders. This comes as plans for the trip were thrown into chaos late on Sunday evening after security officials spotted St. Mary’s and Birmingham spies in the area where George Gandy’s athletes are due to train. Our source went on, “it was all off at one stage. George said that he would not tolerate any intrusion whatsoever. Our team spotted a Birmingham lecturer strolling around the track....it seems that Mick Woods came himself.” As a result of the breach, significant restrictions are set to be placed on coverage of the training camp. “All rooms will be swept for bugs twice a day,” confirmed Loughborough’s Director of Security, “and the media will only be permitted to speak to our guys in the presence of a member of staff.” Gandy, who is not to join his group until Wednesday, was keen to play down the incident. Speaking from a press conference, the guru said “to be honest I am just relieved that Ryan McLeod didn’t lose his passport this time. Everything’s set for some good work.”

ECHO SECURES EXCLUSIVE PORTUGAL DEAL

The Lufbra Echo is delighted to announce that it will have exclusive access to the Loughborough training camp in Portugal this Easter. Despite a tightening in security (which resulted in the BBC being barred), we have negotiated unprecedented access to the African Violets ahead of their pivotal track campaign. The Echo’s Chief Executive (who always remains nameless) said that he was “thrilled” by the deal. “Earlier this month, we announced some coverage of the camp, but this goes further than ever before. It is a very exciting time to be an Echo reader!” Whilst nothing is confirmed yet, it is rumoured that readers can look forward to exclusive interviews with stars such as Pete Matthews, Stephen Emery and Ryan McLeod. Despite losing out to bitter rival, the Liverpool Echo for the principle “Northern Package”, we are pleased to announce that we have first refusal on scraps surrounding the “Liverpool lads” track preparation. Our chief explained, “the alliance with Adam Peers is really paying off now. We hope to be able to bring snippets such as Johnny Mellor’s vest choice, as well as a look at what spikes he will be wearing this season!”

COE IN WEATHER PLEDGE

Lord Sebastian Coe will be banning bad weather at the London 2012 Olympic Games. The Chairman of LOCOG announced the developments after “extensive talks with the relevant authorities”. “This is fantastic news” enthused the former 800m World Record holder, “by making rain and snow illegal it will guarantee the success of important events such as the beach volleyball....it is of vital importance that that goes ahead as planned.” Opponents of the scheme have argued that Coe has not gone far enough. “Sure, this will bring an end to rain and snow- but it does nothing to prevent the possibility of grey and overcast days,” said Steve Ovett, “London looks rubbish then and we will gain nothing. And what if it’s cold? Then the beach volleyball girls will have to cover up and then the whole Games might as well be cancelled.” Lord Coe did not reveal how he was able to succeed where others (such as the organisers of Wimbledon) have failed, but did concede that it was “very unlikely” that similar deal would be available for the Paralympics.


YELLING BLAMES ‘UNDERACHIEVING STUDENTS’ FOR WORLD CROSS DISASTER

Hayley Yelling, the European Cross Country Champion, has blamed her remarkably poor performance at the World Cross Country Championships on a group of Year 11 pupils. The Maths teacher, who was the last Brit home, said that she was “really quite shocked” at her charges’ lack of ability with numbers. “Pythagoras Theorem is a no go area and basic algebra completely throws them.” Yelling said that she received a threat from her head teacher is the blundering students did not pick up their act. “He said that the school had a proud reputation and that Year 11 Set Z was completely ruining it....it was on my mind the whole race weekend.”