The 2009 IAAF World Championship mascot, Berlino the bear has spoken out in favour of his under-fire London 2012 counterpart, Wenlock. The mascot for the Olympic Games has looked out of sorts this year and many have called for his removal by Paralympic mascot, Mandeville. Speaking to Richard Keys and Andy Gray on TalkSPORT, Berlino called the criticism of Wenlock "unfair and completely ridiculous". "A double act is always going to be tough" said the bear from his retirement home in Barbados "Wenlock will find his feet, you can be sure of that. He is world class." Berlino went onto deny speculation that Lord Sebastian Coe has approached him to take over from the "bland" Wenlock.
Berlino attended the International Mascot College in the United States with both Wenlock and Mandeville and so claims to be in "an ideal position" to judge between the two of them. "Wenlock is a big game player. He will only get his act together when it matters - over a year out from the Games, does it really matter?" Berlino was hailed as one of the greatest mascots of all time after his tremendous performance in Berlin just under two years ago. But the going wasn't always that easy. "I was slated by the German press in the run up to the event" explained Berlino "they all said I couldn't cut it and that I didn't have the moves. You've got to rise above it all".
Reports in the weekend's Telegraph linked Berlino with a possible shock move to London next year. "No way" laughed the bear "I couldn't take that pressure anymore. I can honestly say that Seb [Coe] and I have never had any such discussions. Besides, Wenlock is doing a fine job". Berlino did, however, reveal that he had not ruled out a "guest appearance" at the forthcoming World Championships in Daegu. "Why not? I couldn't do the whole thing, but if they call me and say 'Berlino - we want you to come to dance with Usain [Bolt]' then I'd be up for it." Whilst revealing the design of the official mascot, IAAF Chiefs are still yet to name it - a delay that Berlino says is "cruel". "How can he have an identity without a name?" he blasted "it's very poor indeed and a sign of how badly mascots are treated nowadays".
Showing posts with label IAAF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IAAF. Show all posts
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
Sunday, 20 March 2011
POST RACE PUNCH UP THE FAULT OF 'HIGH TEMPERATURES'
The IAAF have blasted race organisers of the World Cross Country Championships in Spain and blamed "ridiculously hot conditions" for the post-World Cross fight that marred an otherwise successful day's racing. Speaking exclusively to the lufbra echo, an IAAF source claimed that Ethiopian winner Imana Merga "was not himself" when he accused Team GB's Tom Humprhies of "copying his spikes". Humphries responded by throwing one of the said spikes at his opponent, prompting a sixteen man brawl involving multiple nations. Notorious troublemaker Haile Gebrselassie had to be restrained by police as the great man was seen to provoke matters by attempting to pull down the shorts of several of the rioters.
UK Athletics have called for a "full and frank investigation" into how the race was allowed to take place in conditions "equivalent to a sauna". "It was far too hot" thundered Charles Van Commonee's Assistant Director of Spectacle Affairs "it really got to the guys. You could see how Tadese was just itching to fight. I think we need to look at hosting this race in an air conditioned arena in future." The UKA source dismissed accusations that the Endurance supremo Ian Stewart had become involved in a verbal slagging match with his Ethiopian counterpart. Calling it a "measured and clam discussion" any suggestion that the altercation resulted in Stewart receiving a bloody nose was rejected.
Keen to distance themselves from the debacle, the World Governing body's Vice President - His Lordship Sebastian Coe - said that such matters as the temperature were "local affairs". "Things like that have to be controlled by the local organising committee" said the Lord "I myself had to change shirts three times owing to sweat. It was very poor".
UK Athletics have called for a "full and frank investigation" into how the race was allowed to take place in conditions "equivalent to a sauna". "It was far too hot" thundered Charles Van Commonee's Assistant Director of Spectacle Affairs "it really got to the guys. You could see how Tadese was just itching to fight. I think we need to look at hosting this race in an air conditioned arena in future." The UKA source dismissed accusations that the Endurance supremo Ian Stewart had become involved in a verbal slagging match with his Ethiopian counterpart. Calling it a "measured and clam discussion" any suggestion that the altercation resulted in Stewart receiving a bloody nose was rejected.
Keen to distance themselves from the debacle, the World Governing body's Vice President - His Lordship Sebastian Coe - said that such matters as the temperature were "local affairs". "Things like that have to be controlled by the local organising committee" said the Lord "I myself had to change shirts three times owing to sweat. It was very poor".
Friday, 24 December 2010
THE GURU'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE - 2010
People of Loughborough, UKA and beyond,
I write to you from my Guru retreat far from the constant gaze of media attention and the miserable snow that has ground the British people down. Rest assured that the sun is peaking over the horizon as I sip from my Guru cocktail supplied to me by my Guru aides, all the time watched over by my Guru security team.
2010 has been a difficult year for us all. We have had the horrors of debt at LSAC to deal with, the nightmare of the kit scandal and above all, the hiring of a new tea boy - Alasdair Donaldson (who doesn't have time to read that fantastic Lufbra Echo) . I realise now what a dreadful mistake that was - but you have to understand that he made a very good case for himself when I interviewed him and spoke glowingly about his time at school. Alas, his tea is too weak and his emails require constant correction. The whistle at sessions (rather than my grandly shouts) was the final straw for me and Alasdair and I are set for "crisis talks" if you will, early in the New Year.
Many people have asked me about why I took the executive (and extraordinary) decision to scrap the LSAC Grass Session this year. Indeed, I have a letter right here in front of me from Joanna Lumley (she of Gurkha fame) demanding to know why "the little people" of the grass have been treated "so very badly". Well the truth is that I worked out that getting rid of the grass session was the best possible way of annoying David Howe and so went ahead with it. I must say the results have been very pleasing indeed!
To close off LSAC affairs, I turn my attention to Director Dakin who has continued in his capacity as Director of Coaching. There has been some debate over whether Director Dakin is my superior or not. This is a ridiculous and futile discussion. How can a mere 'coach' outrank a Guru? Just because Director Dakin has a big plush office that is separate from the rest of the team, you all think that he is the number one around here. Nonsense. I chose to be in the open plan area because I am confident in my position. I do not need that status of a personal office to make me feel adequate. It is a great shame that Director Dakin is so petulant about this and we are all getting sick of his hissy fits and door slamming pantomimes. The truth is that he is jealous of my Guru status, but it was not me who failed his Fellowship of the Royal College of Gurus entrance exams now was it? I aced mine years ago and he simply lacks the experience. In all honesty, he shouldn't really be a director at all and we only gave him that to stop his whining all the time.
On the UK Athletics front, we have seen unprecedented success this year. I have just had the pleasure of spending some time with successful contestants in the "Race to Portugal" competition that was UKA's initiative to select the team for the European Cross Country Championships. It was such a shame that I had to push Andy Vernon and James Wilkinson off the cliff because the disappointed me so. Only joking! That would be a direct breach of the Guru Handbook, Section 22, Paragraph 6: "Never, under any circumstances, intentionally push, throw or in any way encourage an athlete - underachiever or otherwise - to fall from a cliff".
In all seriousness, it has been quite a year. So good to see that Chirs Thompson and Mo Farah have made up after that pathetic spat over Mo stealing from Chris. It was a real shame that Chris had to bring that up in the middle of a live BBC interview with Godfather Inverdale, but I am afraid that it only demonstrative of 'Thommo's' lack of class. Of course, I have been single handedly responsible for the turn around in Distance Running success this year and so I think we should all collectively (and metaphorically) pat me on the back: WELL DONE MR GURU, SIR! I can't wait to watch the World Championships in Berlin again (Seoul will probably be called off because I am about to declare war on South Korea on behalf of my Northern comrades), but I will be personally ensuring that Alasdair tears up that horrid blue track.
Here's to yet more success in 2011, and to hoping that I finally get Charles Van Commenee's job that I richly deserve!
Warmest Regards to you all (you certainly need them!)
NJoy!
Guru George Gandy FRCG
Saturday, 18 December 2010
ALL CROSS COUNTRY EVENTS CANCELLED: UKA
All Cross Country events for the rest of the season have been cancelled because of the snow. UK Athletics released a brief statement this evening blaming Dwain Chambers for the extraordinary action and advising all race organisers against flouting the regulation. The spokesman did not rule out banning the sport all together "in the interests of everyone" but said that the governing body would "make every effort" to run some semblance of a calender next season. The news comes as the majority of Western European governing bodies take similar action, with USA Track and Field holding a crisis meeting early next week. The World Cross - set to take place in Spain next year - has already been axed.
Saturday, 21 August 2010
MOORCROFT QUESTIONS FARAH RECORD
Dave Moorcroft has questioned the length of the Zurich track after Mo Farah relieved him of his British record over 5,000m. Speaking from his holiday home in the Maldives, the ex-Coventry star said that he “didn’t even watch” the event that took place on Thursday evening. “My first question afterwards was: ‘where did he do it?’” said a clearly vexed Moorcroft, “when I was told Zurich, I didn’t care- that simply doesn’t count.”
The 13:00.41 5k man looked tired at the hastily arranged press conference and was quick to poor cold water on anyone who was seen to be overly enthusiastic about Farah’s achievement. “Answer me this: did he win the race?” stormed Moorcroft, “no, he didn’t. So how can he say that he is the best Brit of all time? Answer me that- how?” After dismissing an animated Phil Jones of the BBC (who asked Moorcroft how he felt the crowd could have impacted Farah’s run), the ex-British record holder once again turned his ire on Farah. “What’s he done anyway?” he asked, “take it from me: that track is short. Go out and measure it. There’s no way this can happen.”
Whilst standing by his view that he “hadn’t lost a thing”, Moorcroft revealed that Farah had been less than magnanimous in victory. “He sent me a nasty Facebook message,” blubbed Moorcroft, “he said that breaking 13 minutes was easy and he couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. It’s really disappointing when someone treats you like that. He may have run a half decent short 5k, but that is no reason to delete and block me on MySpace.”
For his part, Farah has said that he is “disappointed” with Moorcroft’s attitude. “Jealousy,” thundered the Newham and Essex Beagle, “that’s what it is: jealousy. That’s why he had to go on MySpace- that and Tariku [Bekele] told me to keep that for sub-13 minute athletes only.” Farah went on: “how can he say that the track is short? What planet is he on? Get over it mate- I’m number one around here now.”
Officials at the IAAF refused to go into detail on the spat but did state that they “stood by” their timing systems, which were “of the standard expected at almost all BMC meetings.”
The 13:00.41 5k man looked tired at the hastily arranged press conference and was quick to poor cold water on anyone who was seen to be overly enthusiastic about Farah’s achievement. “Answer me this: did he win the race?” stormed Moorcroft, “no, he didn’t. So how can he say that he is the best Brit of all time? Answer me that- how?” After dismissing an animated Phil Jones of the BBC (who asked Moorcroft how he felt the crowd could have impacted Farah’s run), the ex-British record holder once again turned his ire on Farah. “What’s he done anyway?” he asked, “take it from me: that track is short. Go out and measure it. There’s no way this can happen.”
Whilst standing by his view that he “hadn’t lost a thing”, Moorcroft revealed that Farah had been less than magnanimous in victory. “He sent me a nasty Facebook message,” blubbed Moorcroft, “he said that breaking 13 minutes was easy and he couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. It’s really disappointing when someone treats you like that. He may have run a half decent short 5k, but that is no reason to delete and block me on MySpace.”
For his part, Farah has said that he is “disappointed” with Moorcroft’s attitude. “Jealousy,” thundered the Newham and Essex Beagle, “that’s what it is: jealousy. That’s why he had to go on MySpace- that and Tariku [Bekele] told me to keep that for sub-13 minute athletes only.” Farah went on: “how can he say that the track is short? What planet is he on? Get over it mate- I’m number one around here now.”
Officials at the IAAF refused to go into detail on the spat but did state that they “stood by” their timing systems, which were “of the standard expected at almost all BMC meetings.”
Thursday, 20 May 2010
NEWS IN BRIEF
GIRO CYCLIST TESTS NEGATIVE SHOCK
An unnamed cyclist has returned a negative ‘A’ Sample, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The top level competitor returned the test after Stage Six of the Giro d’Italia, but the authorities are awaiting the results of the ‘B’ Sample before naming him. “Obviously this is a shock,” said a cycling insider, “this sport has built its reputation a string of failed tests and corruption. Incidents like this only serve to give the public a mixed message.” The news of the test result has sent shockwaves through the entire world of sport, with many sporting chiefs calling for a “fundamental overhaul” of testing procedure. A senior source at the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) said that a “culture of fear” now existed within the organisation. “We can’t go on like this,” he explained, “if athletes keep passing tests, it is only a matter of time before the public start losing interest and then we’ll all be out of job.” A spokesman for the Tour de France said that he was “unconcerned” by this morning’s revelations. “I am pretty confident the Tour will have its usual share of drug scandals,” said an aide to the Tour supremo, “we’re bound to get the occasional blip, but on the whole cycling still remains the dirtiest sport in the world and I am certain that it will stay that way.” Today’s news comes just weeks after Alberto Contador stunned team mates by confessing that he “got no artificial help” during last year’s Tour victory. Officials at Astana [Contador’s team] have maintained that the Spaniard was “just letting off steam” and most certainly was not on the record. A source continued, “Vino [Alexander Vinokourov, who failed a blood test in 2008] is back this year anyway and so our reputation as a corrupt team in a corrupt sport should remain intact.”
BEKELE HAS ‘SWEET PROBLEM’
He may be the fastest 5,000m and 10,000m runner of all time, but in an exclusive interview with the Lufbra Echo, close friends of Kenenisa Bekele have conceded that they are “gravely concerned” about his sweet eating habits. “I have known of Ken for a few months now,” said one respondent, “and he always looks very defensive of his sweets.....Haribo seem to be a particular problem.” Another outsider said, “Kenny loves the sour cola bottles and has been known to eat a whole packet in one sitting....that would explain why he suffers with such bad dental health.” Rumours have been circulating around the athletics world for some time regarding the great man’s oral hygiene and these revelations look set to blow the lid on his dark secret. “Why do you think he never smiles?” asked a London-based stranger, “I’ll tell you why- it’s because his front teeth are rotting.” Others have told of how they have pleaded with the Ethiopian to seek help for his addiction. “I have sent several letters to Athletics Ethiopia,” said Tunbridge Wells mother of three, Iva Nojob, “I really think that it is an issue they should be addressing- he isn’t being a very good role model.” Meanwhile, a friend of a lady whose sister once met Bekele’s brother’s friend’s uncle said, “Ken is very much his own man and it is down to him to realise he has a problem and sort it out. I can tell you for sure that no amount of coaxing from me or anyone else will change that stubborn mind”.
2012 IN THE MIRE AS MANDEVILLE FALLS OUT WITH WENLOCK
FURY: Mandeville claims not to have been told about Wenlock prior to launch day
Lord Sebastian Coe was hastily attempting to get preparations for London 2012 back on track this evening, after the two mascots have had what has been described as a “major contretemps”. It is thought that Mandeville (the Paralympics mascot) struck his/her Olympic counterpart in a debate over who looked the most tacky. The former is said to be seething that Wenlock has been allocated “more wristbands” and has called the move “discrimination of the highest order.” The Oxford educated Mandeville claims to have only been informed that he/she was to appear as part of a double act at the “very last minute.” A spokesperson for the Mascot Affairs Directorate (MAD) said, “we have seen similar issues in the past. I know that Zakumi [the FIFA World Cup 2010 mascot] successfully appealed a decision to involve him in a shotgun marriage. It may well be that a similar thing happens here. People need to remember that these guys work very hard for limited pay- they have feelings.” Berlino the Bear (IAAF World Championships in Athletics 2009 mascot) has expressed sympathy with Mandeville’s plight. Speaking from his retirement home in the Caribbean, Berlino said “sometimes it’s tough to share the stage with someone. I found it tough when Usain Bolt raced because everyone would shout ‘Usain, Usain, Usain’ when they would normally be shouting for me.” Berlino also dismissed allegations that featured in several of this morning’s newspapers that he was having an affair with Wenlock. “Utter nonsense,” said the bear, “it’s sad when a career like mine can be tarnished by gutter press.”
An unnamed cyclist has returned a negative ‘A’ Sample, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The top level competitor returned the test after Stage Six of the Giro d’Italia, but the authorities are awaiting the results of the ‘B’ Sample before naming him. “Obviously this is a shock,” said a cycling insider, “this sport has built its reputation a string of failed tests and corruption. Incidents like this only serve to give the public a mixed message.” The news of the test result has sent shockwaves through the entire world of sport, with many sporting chiefs calling for a “fundamental overhaul” of testing procedure. A senior source at the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) said that a “culture of fear” now existed within the organisation. “We can’t go on like this,” he explained, “if athletes keep passing tests, it is only a matter of time before the public start losing interest and then we’ll all be out of job.” A spokesman for the Tour de France said that he was “unconcerned” by this morning’s revelations. “I am pretty confident the Tour will have its usual share of drug scandals,” said an aide to the Tour supremo, “we’re bound to get the occasional blip, but on the whole cycling still remains the dirtiest sport in the world and I am certain that it will stay that way.” Today’s news comes just weeks after Alberto Contador stunned team mates by confessing that he “got no artificial help” during last year’s Tour victory. Officials at Astana [Contador’s team] have maintained that the Spaniard was “just letting off steam” and most certainly was not on the record. A source continued, “Vino [Alexander Vinokourov, who failed a blood test in 2008] is back this year anyway and so our reputation as a corrupt team in a corrupt sport should remain intact.”
BEKELE HAS ‘SWEET PROBLEM’
He may be the fastest 5,000m and 10,000m runner of all time, but in an exclusive interview with the Lufbra Echo, close friends of Kenenisa Bekele have conceded that they are “gravely concerned” about his sweet eating habits. “I have known of Ken for a few months now,” said one respondent, “and he always looks very defensive of his sweets.....Haribo seem to be a particular problem.” Another outsider said, “Kenny loves the sour cola bottles and has been known to eat a whole packet in one sitting....that would explain why he suffers with such bad dental health.” Rumours have been circulating around the athletics world for some time regarding the great man’s oral hygiene and these revelations look set to blow the lid on his dark secret. “Why do you think he never smiles?” asked a London-based stranger, “I’ll tell you why- it’s because his front teeth are rotting.” Others have told of how they have pleaded with the Ethiopian to seek help for his addiction. “I have sent several letters to Athletics Ethiopia,” said Tunbridge Wells mother of three, Iva Nojob, “I really think that it is an issue they should be addressing- he isn’t being a very good role model.” Meanwhile, a friend of a lady whose sister once met Bekele’s brother’s friend’s uncle said, “Ken is very much his own man and it is down to him to realise he has a problem and sort it out. I can tell you for sure that no amount of coaxing from me or anyone else will change that stubborn mind”.
2012 IN THE MIRE AS MANDEVILLE FALLS OUT WITH WENLOCK
FURY: Mandeville claims not to have been told about Wenlock prior to launch day
Lord Sebastian Coe was hastily attempting to get preparations for London 2012 back on track this evening, after the two mascots have had what has been described as a “major contretemps”. It is thought that Mandeville (the Paralympics mascot) struck his/her Olympic counterpart in a debate over who looked the most tacky. The former is said to be seething that Wenlock has been allocated “more wristbands” and has called the move “discrimination of the highest order.” The Oxford educated Mandeville claims to have only been informed that he/she was to appear as part of a double act at the “very last minute.” A spokesperson for the Mascot Affairs Directorate (MAD) said, “we have seen similar issues in the past. I know that Zakumi [the FIFA World Cup 2010 mascot] successfully appealed a decision to involve him in a shotgun marriage. It may well be that a similar thing happens here. People need to remember that these guys work very hard for limited pay- they have feelings.” Berlino the Bear (IAAF World Championships in Athletics 2009 mascot) has expressed sympathy with Mandeville’s plight. Speaking from his retirement home in the Caribbean, Berlino said “sometimes it’s tough to share the stage with someone. I found it tough when Usain Bolt raced because everyone would shout ‘Usain, Usain, Usain’ when they would normally be shouting for me.” Berlino also dismissed allegations that featured in several of this morning’s newspapers that he was having an affair with Wenlock. “Utter nonsense,” said the bear, “it’s sad when a career like mine can be tarnished by gutter press.”
Friday, 26 March 2010
WORLD CROSS COUNTRY CHAMPIONSHIPS PREVIEW
In line with much of the British media, the Lufbra Echo has decided not to send a whole team to Poland to cover the IAAF World Cross. Instead we have hand picked a specialist who came 48th in the National Cross in 1992- he REALLY knows his stuff. So sit back and enjoy....
Our man, Mr. A. Geing writes:
First things first, I definitely know what I am talking about. I know what you are all thinking- with the Echo being far too concerned with the upcoming Portugal trip, they have just sent a old, past it, wannabe to cover the World Champs in this Godforsaken hell hole. 'To heck with it' the management may have thought, 'if Steve Cram and Brendan Foster aren't prepared to go there then what's the point in us all going out there? Let's send that nobody instead!' Well they didn't think that. They have sent the best of the best to cover this amazing event. Top 50 in a National Champs- that's me. I know what I am doing in this arena. I am the man who made that oh so bold prediction that Usain Bolt might win the 100m AND the 200m at the Berlin World Champs. And just a fortnight ago, I stuck my neck on the line when I foresaw Mo Farah winning the Inter-Counties! I was the runner up in the North East Dunstable Minor-Sports Journalist Awards in 2003 and then again in 2005 for goodness sake!
Anyway, down to my report. I ran in to Sue Barker at the airport. She wasn't here covering the event, but rather on a "personal trip". And why shouldn't she come to Eastern Europe on a personal errand payed for by the Licence Fee? What a consummate professional and always has time for the little people. I could learn a lot from her. She came over and spoke to me of course, "don't you write for the Echo? Didn't I see you coming 48th at the National Cross in 1992?"- the usual tripe. I am used to dealing with it though- I have class. She looked well- particularly given her Sport Relief exploits. Isn't that a wonderful event? Loads of celebs heading out to the real needy places of the world and stare at all the poor people. I was asked (of course) but unfortunately the BBC were only offering Business Class travel and that just will not do. Anyway, I see this coverage as my public service for the year!
Anyway, down to my report. The Echo were so concerned that I got to my hotel safely (conveniently located a short 3 and a half hour drive from the course) that they asked me to get the train! Not only was them clearly caring as much about this great event as the BBC and UKA, it also gave me the opportunity to have a chat with Jason Henderson, editor of Athletics Weekly no less! What an ass! Totally got his head in the clouds about everything and didn't even remember MY name! Of course, he is jetting off to Portugal straight after the Champs to report on how Pete Matthews is recovering from his latest injury scare. I wouldn't want to go though. The Echo's management have asked me to cover the first North Dunstable open meet and we are expecting the 1500m 'A' race to go sub 4:20 so well worth a trip if you can make it!
Anyway, down to my report. I wonder whether their will be adequate lavatory provision at the course. I do hope so. I remember when, in 2002, I managed to win the North East Dunstable (Western Division) V40 Cross Country title, there was only one loo! Outrageous. I have a bit of a confession to make actually and this IS an exclusive- I used the bushes! I am not sure whether there are any bushes at this course. Do they even have bushes in Poland? Isn't that more an Anglo-Saxon thing? I should ask Alan Titchmarsh when I next see him- woops bit of a name drop there! Wasn't that a great show with David Cameron (or DC as I like to call him) on it? He had some really tough questions to answer but thought he looked statesman-like. Better than those BA Cabin Crew. Thank goodness I shunned the opportunity to fly Club Class with them in order to fly with Ryanair here. Of course, I had the Echo's editor on the phone begging me to fly BA- but I like Ryanair!
Anyway, down to my report. Oh wait- I seem to have hit my word limit! Oh well, quickly and based on all my extensive research since arriving here I can exclusively reveal that Bekele is the firm favourite. After that it really is any one's guess. I will try to keep you updated on my Twitter feed. Now isn't Twitter a wonderful idea? Sort of like Facebook, but more succinct. There's a funny story about that actually. I remember when I was meeting with Barrack Obama in Wash....[That will do]
THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE ANYMORE FROM MR. A. GEING DEPENDING ON WHETHER WE CAN TOLERATE IT.
Our man, Mr. A. Geing writes:
First things first, I definitely know what I am talking about. I know what you are all thinking- with the Echo being far too concerned with the upcoming Portugal trip, they have just sent a old, past it, wannabe to cover the World Champs in this Godforsaken hell hole. 'To heck with it' the management may have thought, 'if Steve Cram and Brendan Foster aren't prepared to go there then what's the point in us all going out there? Let's send that nobody instead!' Well they didn't think that. They have sent the best of the best to cover this amazing event. Top 50 in a National Champs- that's me. I know what I am doing in this arena. I am the man who made that oh so bold prediction that Usain Bolt might win the 100m AND the 200m at the Berlin World Champs. And just a fortnight ago, I stuck my neck on the line when I foresaw Mo Farah winning the Inter-Counties! I was the runner up in the North East Dunstable Minor-Sports Journalist Awards in 2003 and then again in 2005 for goodness sake!
Anyway, down to my report. I ran in to Sue Barker at the airport. She wasn't here covering the event, but rather on a "personal trip". And why shouldn't she come to Eastern Europe on a personal errand payed for by the Licence Fee? What a consummate professional and always has time for the little people. I could learn a lot from her. She came over and spoke to me of course, "don't you write for the Echo? Didn't I see you coming 48th at the National Cross in 1992?"- the usual tripe. I am used to dealing with it though- I have class. She looked well- particularly given her Sport Relief exploits. Isn't that a wonderful event? Loads of celebs heading out to the real needy places of the world and stare at all the poor people. I was asked (of course) but unfortunately the BBC were only offering Business Class travel and that just will not do. Anyway, I see this coverage as my public service for the year!
Anyway, down to my report. The Echo were so concerned that I got to my hotel safely (conveniently located a short 3 and a half hour drive from the course) that they asked me to get the train! Not only was them clearly caring as much about this great event as the BBC and UKA, it also gave me the opportunity to have a chat with Jason Henderson, editor of Athletics Weekly no less! What an ass! Totally got his head in the clouds about everything and didn't even remember MY name! Of course, he is jetting off to Portugal straight after the Champs to report on how Pete Matthews is recovering from his latest injury scare. I wouldn't want to go though. The Echo's management have asked me to cover the first North Dunstable open meet and we are expecting the 1500m 'A' race to go sub 4:20 so well worth a trip if you can make it!
Anyway, down to my report. I wonder whether their will be adequate lavatory provision at the course. I do hope so. I remember when, in 2002, I managed to win the North East Dunstable (Western Division) V40 Cross Country title, there was only one loo! Outrageous. I have a bit of a confession to make actually and this IS an exclusive- I used the bushes! I am not sure whether there are any bushes at this course. Do they even have bushes in Poland? Isn't that more an Anglo-Saxon thing? I should ask Alan Titchmarsh when I next see him- woops bit of a name drop there! Wasn't that a great show with David Cameron (or DC as I like to call him) on it? He had some really tough questions to answer but thought he looked statesman-like. Better than those BA Cabin Crew. Thank goodness I shunned the opportunity to fly Club Class with them in order to fly with Ryanair here. Of course, I had the Echo's editor on the phone begging me to fly BA- but I like Ryanair!
Anyway, down to my report. Oh wait- I seem to have hit my word limit! Oh well, quickly and based on all my extensive research since arriving here I can exclusively reveal that Bekele is the firm favourite. After that it really is any one's guess. I will try to keep you updated on my Twitter feed. Now isn't Twitter a wonderful idea? Sort of like Facebook, but more succinct. There's a funny story about that actually. I remember when I was meeting with Barrack Obama in Wash....[That will do]
THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE ANYMORE FROM MR. A. GEING DEPENDING ON WHETHER WE CAN TOLERATE IT.
Thursday, 25 March 2010
NEWS ROUND-UP
The Lufbra Echo rounds up all that has been going down in the world of athletics in the past 48 hours
WORLD CROSS COURSE TO BE ALTERED
The course at this weekend's World Cross Country Championships will be changed after African federations complained that it was "too interesting". The IAAF held a crisis meeting late last night to discuss the issue and have apologised for the blunder. "We realise now that the Africans cannot be expected to run over muddy courses," said a spokesman, "in the spirit of all previous events we will now be running the races on a flat, mud-free field that has been kept under cover for the entire winter. We would like to express our sincere apologies for the distress that we have caused Mr. Bekele and all his fellow athletes."
BOLT IN PLANE SCARE
World 100 and 200m world record holder, Usain Bolt has been hailed as a hero after he took control of a Jamaican Airlines Boeing 737 just minutes before it was about to plunge into the ocean. The sprint ace was flying home from a training trip in the US when both of the pilots reacted badly to some marijuana that they had been smoking. Bolt (who is also a qualified doctor, lawyer and all round great guy who is doing his best for the sport and we should appreciate that) strolled into the cockpit and landed the aircraft safely. A spokesman praised Bolt's bravery but also said that he showed poor sportsmanship, "he could be heard celebrating on the radio before the wheels had hit the tarmac," said the source, "and afterwards he didn't shake any one's hand- just did a strange dance."
TWELL 'GOING OFF THE RAILS': INSIDER
Stephanie Twell, the "new Paula Radcliffe" (after Emily Pidgeon but before Charlotte Purdue and Emelia Gorecka) has been seen throwing full bottles of beetroot juice out of her home, sources have revealed. It is also rumoured that the distance hope has been cooking her broccoli before eating it and not wearing her Garmin when doing tempo runs. An insider at Twell's St. Mary's base told of how coach Mick Woods was "gravely concerned". "Steph couldn't even complete her track session of 100x400m with 30 seconds recovery yesterday," he said, "and she only called Mick 8 times on Monday....it's a sorry state of affairs." These revelations come just days after Woods was left reeling by the news that Andy Vernon had eaten a sandwich with butter in it. A close friend of the fiery Aldershot coach said, "Mick is keeping his chin up and hoping his guys and girls will do the business in Poland [at the World Cross]".
ATHLETE QUITS SPORT AFTER SOMEONE 'WASN'T VERY NICE' TO HIM
A long distance runner who has asked to remain nameless has walked away from the sport because some people were critical of his training patterns. The male athlete, who ran 375 miles per week, said "it was awful- I was warming down from a race and some guy came up to me and said 'I think you might be over training'. I was so hurt that I couldn't even finish my 24 mile cool down." The promising youngster, who also claims to have excelled at rugby, football, sailing, chess, cricket, diving, swimming, darts and archery was critical of the fact that he had to pay to use his local track "like normal people". "It was outrageous," said the former star, "how dare they treat me like that. I had to pay for food as well, you know!"
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WORLD CROSS COURSE TO BE ALTERED
The course at this weekend's World Cross Country Championships will be changed after African federations complained that it was "too interesting". The IAAF held a crisis meeting late last night to discuss the issue and have apologised for the blunder. "We realise now that the Africans cannot be expected to run over muddy courses," said a spokesman, "in the spirit of all previous events we will now be running the races on a flat, mud-free field that has been kept under cover for the entire winter. We would like to express our sincere apologies for the distress that we have caused Mr. Bekele and all his fellow athletes."
BOLT IN PLANE SCARE
World 100 and 200m world record holder, Usain Bolt has been hailed as a hero after he took control of a Jamaican Airlines Boeing 737 just minutes before it was about to plunge into the ocean. The sprint ace was flying home from a training trip in the US when both of the pilots reacted badly to some marijuana that they had been smoking. Bolt (who is also a qualified doctor, lawyer and all round great guy who is doing his best for the sport and we should appreciate that) strolled into the cockpit and landed the aircraft safely. A spokesman praised Bolt's bravery but also said that he showed poor sportsmanship, "he could be heard celebrating on the radio before the wheels had hit the tarmac," said the source, "and afterwards he didn't shake any one's hand- just did a strange dance."
TWELL 'GOING OFF THE RAILS': INSIDER
Stephanie Twell, the "new Paula Radcliffe" (after Emily Pidgeon but before Charlotte Purdue and Emelia Gorecka) has been seen throwing full bottles of beetroot juice out of her home, sources have revealed. It is also rumoured that the distance hope has been cooking her broccoli before eating it and not wearing her Garmin when doing tempo runs. An insider at Twell's St. Mary's base told of how coach Mick Woods was "gravely concerned". "Steph couldn't even complete her track session of 100x400m with 30 seconds recovery yesterday," he said, "and she only called Mick 8 times on Monday....it's a sorry state of affairs." These revelations come just days after Woods was left reeling by the news that Andy Vernon had eaten a sandwich with butter in it. A close friend of the fiery Aldershot coach said, "Mick is keeping his chin up and hoping his guys and girls will do the business in Poland [at the World Cross]".
ATHLETE QUITS SPORT AFTER SOMEONE 'WASN'T VERY NICE' TO HIM
A long distance runner who has asked to remain nameless has walked away from the sport because some people were critical of his training patterns. The male athlete, who ran 375 miles per week, said "it was awful- I was warming down from a race and some guy came up to me and said 'I think you might be over training'. I was so hurt that I couldn't even finish my 24 mile cool down." The promising youngster, who also claims to have excelled at rugby, football, sailing, chess, cricket, diving, swimming, darts and archery was critical of the fact that he had to pay to use his local track "like normal people". "It was outrageous," said the former star, "how dare they treat me like that. I had to pay for food as well, you know!"
'IAMLUFRBA' LAUNCHED
IAMGOINGTOGETMYSPACEBARFIXEDLATERTODAY
IAMGOINGTOSPENDMONEYBEINGPROUDOFMYUNIVERSITY
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IAMSTILLWAITINGFORTHEKIT
IAMPRETENDINGIAMONANIKEADVERT
IAMHOPINGYOUENJOYEDREADINGMYBLOG
IAMHUNGRY
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IAMWISHINGYOUAGOODDAY
IAMASKINGYOUTOVISITAGAINSOON
IAMLUFBRA
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