VERNON SHELVES DANCING DREAM

Andy Vernon has "all but given up" on his dream of becoming a ballerina, the lufbra echo can exclusively reveal. The Aldershot man has long coveted a place at the prestigious Royal Ballet School in London, but had now conceded that he is "probably too old" to warrant a place. In a revealing interview with the echo, the GB International revealed how running was a "last resort" after all other endeavours failed.

"Let's face it" sighed Vernon "it's no life. No one wants to run all day every day, but unfortunately I am very good at it. I just wish I could be free to express myself in dance." The Nick Anderson coached athlete came late to ballet having been inspired by the hit movie Billie Elliot. Since then, he has become a regular at London showings and is constantly seen dragging his girlfriend to lengthy shows. "It fills me with such excitement" said Vernon "the Nutcracker is my favourite. The moves are so complex!"

Vernon - who is regularly joined on his ballet escapades by close friend Ryan McLeod - conceded that the thought of "just" being an athlete "repulses" him. "The thought of the Olympics makes me feel sick" thundered the stern faced 13:28 5k man "what are they doing for the ballet dancers of the future? It makes a mockery of everything".

Vernon is not the only high profile athlete with a taste for culture. Sprint ace Craig Pickering is a regular at the Royal Albert Hall during the BBC Proms season and Nick McCormick is known to be a fully paid up member of the Royal London Opera. 

SOUTHEND READY TO SPLASH CASH AS TRANSFER WINDOW OPENS

Southend AC have this evening signalled their ambition for the forthcoming summer by approaching no fewer than five big names in the distance running world. The Essex club have recently been taken over by a super-rich paper merchant from Sardinia, who has demanded European Athletics success within the next two years. The Lufbra Echo understands that Southend have made a multi-million pound offer for Morpeth's Nick McCormick and have also expressed an interest in enticing Andrew Lemoncello back to the UK.

Whilst McCormick is well known to be on the look out for a move, it seems unlikely that he would lower himself to Division 3 athletics just for the sake of financial gain. A Morpeth spokesman slammed Southend's "obscene" levels of wealth and said that the club had not ruled out reporting them to UKA. "It's really bad form," thundered the source "they come here with their big Essex chequebooks and try to unsettle our top guys- it's wrong, just wrong". McCormick remained silent on the possibility this evening, but insiders have revealed that the 3:33 1500m could be on the verge of a "career defining move" in the next month.

Lemoncello, meanwhile, was spotted sharing fish and chips with Southend chiefs just last week and sources have let slip that the seaside club could be about to net the British number 1 marathoner. "The Chairman sent a private jet to collect Mr Lemoncello" said the high level aide "it was a really productive discussion and they discussed the merits of setting up a training base in the area." It is understood that Lemoncello "likes the idea of living on an island" and as such is contemplating the purchase of a property on nearby Canvey Island. "We know of a few hills on the isle" continued the source "and so it would be just like training at altitude".

Southend have also had offers for Mo Farah and the athlete formerly known as Geele (now to be called Gala) rejected by Newham and Essex Beagles. However, with Frank Baddick "desperately unhappy" with the new kit at the London club, it looks likely that he will be allowed to leave. Strong Loughborough links have also resulted in leading names such as Gary Bradbury and Rob Whittle "not ruling out" the possibility of a move. "If the set up and club philosophy was right" opined Bradbury "then I would consider the switch. For me, it's all about the feel of a place. If I knew everyone's karma was right then yes, I would look at Southend." A spokesman for the Essex club categorically denied speculation that they were about to or had any intention of ever signing Pete Matthews.

ECHO CHIEFS FUMING OVER 'SPOOF' SLUR

The Lufbra Echo is today fighting allegations that it is nothing more than a "fun spoof website". The reports on spikesmag.com have left the management in a desperate struggle to claw back some credibility and could yet spell the end for "the greatest website ever to grace the internet" (Sunday Times). "This is the most outrageous libel I have ever seen" thundered a senior source, "how dare they suggest that our work is anything other than hard hitting journalistic investigation?" The Echo was given one of the most prestigious awards in journalism last month, and insiders have accused Spikes Mag of jealousy. "The fact is that they will never have the following that we have" continued our source "they have printed this garbage in order to attract headlines, but all they are going to attract is legal action."

The Chief Executive was too upset to comment this evening, but did promise to fight the accusations "with all his heart" and dismissed speculation that he had authorised the article as a publicity stunt. A spokesman for the £4m man said that the entire team was "standing by their man" at this difficult time. "We have broken some huge stories," said the Senior Press Secretary (UK & North West Europe) "and if our rivals can't deal with that, then they should get out and do some investigating." The Echo has not been without its detractors in recent months, and rumours are circulating that they were forced to make a "sizeable payout" to the BBC's John Inverdale after a senior staffer was heard to crticise the Godfather's presenting style. It is understood that both parties signed a binding confidentiality agreement and the Echo's top man was forced into a grovelling apology.

"This is a setback we could all do without" said our insider of the Spikes article, "it has been a really rough few months for the top brass as we rolled out in Korea and have had various fights on our hands. However, we will put a stop to this nonsense and if we have to go to Court then so be it." The source would not be drawn on whether a pay-wall akin to that employed by News International would have to be looked at for the Echo, but with advertising revenue down 12% (to £834,000) last month the light at the end of the tunnel may well have to be switched off to save the energy.

The Echo has been responsible for some of the most shameful antics in the sport being exposed. Its first major scoop came when Ryan McLeod and Nick McCormick were caught breaking UKA's £40,000 Alter-G Treadmill and the site went on to win high praise for its all-encompassing coverage of Loughborough's Warm Weather trip to Portugal. It is often the first port of call for whistle blowers keen to put a stop to corruption in the sport and in the summer, the European Court of Human Rights praised the Echo for its "tremendous bravery" in reporting the tyranny of Charles Van Commenee at UKA. It can only be hoped that similar support is forthcoming during the latest woe to beset this plucky outfit.

FANTASY FOOTBALL GAFFE COSTS McCORMICK CARDIFF START

Nick McCormick missed the UK Challenge Final after an error in the selection of his team for this week’s Fantasy Football. The Morpeth star was left fuming after he spotted that his “new signing” was only on the bench and, convinced that it was a flaw in the system, spent several hours on the phone trying to resolve the mix up. Having threatened to “cancel his [free] membership”, McCormick only accepted that he may have been at fault when call centre staff warned that league points would be deducted if he didn’t calm down. “Well obviously it’s disappointing,” thundered McCormick from a press conference this morning, “every point counts in this game and who knows what will happen now. If I am to re-establish myself as a major force on the UK running scene, I simply have to have a strong Fantasy season. Losing to Rimmer again just isn’t an option.”

McCormick – who was slated to run the 800m ‘B’ race – missed the start, having spent too long on the phone with Fantasy officials. “The traffic was a nightmare too,” explained the sheepish Loughborough based man, “so even if I had left on time, I may not have made it.” The snub has left BMC chiefs livid and an insider revealed that “excommunication” from the BMC fraternity had not been ruled out. “This simply isn’t good enough,” said a source, “if people abuse the opportunity to race in such a way, they may have to endure a season at regional events.” McCormick, however, was unrepentant. Branding the meeting “a waste of time anyway”, he bemoaned the “lack of accommodation for big names”. “I get fed up with fans coming and speaking to me,” sighed the GB International, “lately it’s all be ‘Fantasy League this’ and ‘Fantasy League that’. What about me? I am a human being you know. Does anyone think to ask me how I am? How am I doing? No. They only care about whether my keeper kept a clean sheet, or who I am putting as captain. It’s very poor.”

McCORMICK FURY AT WALL OF FAME SNUB

Nick McCormick has said that he is “very upset” not to have been asked to sign the Teddington Wall of Fame. The Wall was the subject of a documentary on Echo backed site Athleticos.org and is said to feature some of the best athletic talent in the world. “I can’t believe I wasn’t asked to sign,” thundered McCormick from a hastily arranged press conference in Loughborough, “have you seen the no hopers that have got to sign it? I was in Teddington just last week and no one said a word. It’s very poor.”

Scott Overall, who shares his house with the Wall, revealed that there was a careful screening process for anyone who wanted to sign. “We’ve had problems with some,” said the Blackheath and Bromley man, “the Kenyans haven’t seen a pen before and some of the St. Mary’s lot didn’t know how to spell their name.” Overall said that McCormick’s request would be given “due consideration” but warned against the Morpeth man getting his hopes up. “I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were him,” said the GB International, “we have standards around here and I’m not sure that we can let someone sign it just because they threw their toys out of the pram. The only time that has happened was when Andy Baddeley threatened to bring the universe to an end if we didn’t back down.”

For his part, McCormick has said that he “isn’t interested” in a pity signing. “It’s their loss in my opinion,” said the 3:33.9 1500m runner, “that wall will always be lacking something and they’ll have to deal with that.” Rumours that he was going to start his own wall in Loughborough exclusively for those who have been rejected from the Teddington Wall have so far proved wide of the mark.

THE LUFBRA ECHO: 100 POSTS OLD

Despite protestations that the site would be “closed down”, the Lufbra Echo today reaches a significant milestone: this is the 100th post. Ahead of an extended holiday for the busy editorial team, and largely because we can’t think of anything else to write, we thought that we would re-hash some of the best bits over the past few months. Cheap and lazy journalism? Well, possibly. But to be fair in two hours of live athletics coverage on Tuesday morning, the BBC spent well over half of it reminiscing about the Barcelona 1992 Olympics, so we feel we are due our own look back. Make yourself a nice cup of tea, sit back and enjoy our look over the top 10 moments in Echo history. Simply click on the number to read the story.

NUMBER 10: It was us who first broke the news that the now European 10,000m champion Mo Farah had had to give up on his hope of scooping the BBC Masterchef crown.

NUMBER 9: Ryan McLeod makes his first appearance in the countdown after he and Nick McCormick broke Loughborough’s pricy Alter-G treadmill.

NUMBER 8: Bowser, a European Cross Champion? Surely not. Err, well according to the BBC he was.

NUMBER 7: And a welcome first entry for the Echo’s award winning Portugal coverage. Here, there are concerns before the annual influx of distance runners even arrive in the Algarve.

NUMBER 6: Justice for LaShawn! The Echo sensitively discusses the drug cheat’s private issues.

NUMBER 5: UKA shocked everyone with their World Cross Selection. We had our own exclusive twist on the story.

NUMBER 4: It’s that man again! Ryan McLeod was in trouble after calling the emergency services for his damaged iPhone

NUMBER 3: It’s a bronze for the much praised coverage of the McLeod-Russell spat. The Echo was thanked by the Sports Journalists Association for our sensitive articles.

NUMBER 2: POST DELETED DUE TO ONGOING LEGAL FIGHT. Uh oh! It looks like we can’t bring you our silver medallist as we are still entrenched in a bitter and drawn out courtroom drama!

NUMBER 1: Well it had to come down to something on Portugal didn’t it? Yep, you guessed it- the gold medal Echo article as voted for by our research department is the report following a “night of scandal” in Vilamoura. Happy memories.

The Echo will now be on holiday until something interesting happens, if it ever does.

WATFORD BMC ROUND UP......

ANGER AS McCORMICK WEARS DATED KIT

Nick McCormick is likely to face the wrath of Nike executives early next week after he wore last year’s kit at yesterday evening’s Watford Grand Prix. Shocked bystanders watched the North East star line up in the 800m ‘D’ race- where he expressed his anger at having to share a lane. One said, “Nick was clearly upset at being made to share the territory. I think he must have forgotten to change into this year’s new style.” However, insiders have revealed more sinister goings on. It appears that Mr. McCormick “does not like” the new kit as it does not suit his new haircut. “He hates it,” said a source, “when it was delivered he threw it on the ground in disgust. I doubt he will wear it at all this season.” No one was available for comment at Nike this evening, but it seems likely that their athlete will be forced to explain himself. One anonymous source at the sporting giant said that the cut off for the old kit fell on Thursday. “All athletes will have been sent a memo urging them to destroy their old vests and shorts on the 10th June,” said the senior aide, “it was made clear that old kit will no longer be tolerated.” McCormick was racing in the UK for the first time this season, after a period of enforced exile owing to his “horrifically short” hair cut. Speaking afterwards, he revealed that it was “still in the balance” as to whether he would be allowed to compete at the Crystal Palace Diamond League next month. “I reckon it [the hair] will grow enough by then,” said the 3:33 1500m man, “it really comes down to whether I want to spend a significant period of time in the hell hole that it Crystal Palace.”

McLEOD UNNERVED BY BOO-BOYS

Ryan McLeod ventured out in public for the first time since his major bust up with bitter rival Tom Russell. The Tipton Harrier opted to pace make the 5,000m ‘A’ race, but his name was greeted by a chorus of boos from the stands. Despite pleas from officials to show him the respect he deserved, McLeod had to endure repeated insults from angered West Country folk- the Metropolitan Police have revealed that a total of three individuals were arrested for “public order offenses.” It is unlikely that any of the three will be charged. In the race itself, it became clear from the start that McLeod was not himself. As early as the second lap, he was attempting to usher chasing athletes though to “share the pace”. It was not until a BMC official reminded him that he was being paid to lead the race, that the 13:54 man settled down. The damage to Luke Cragg’s race was done however and the US based man was furious after his race. “You expect better than that,” harrumphed the England international, “I saw Ryan pacing the locker room before and could see he was freaked out by the situation. When I debrief him, he’ll know what I think.”

TIMEKEEPING WRONG: EIGHTLANE

Distraught Eightlaners have called for immediate action after watching videos of several of last night’s races. “BMC please read this, watch the video and sort the results out,” pleaded ‘1500 result?’, whilst his/her/its presumed brother/sister/other life form, ‘1500m results’ supported the view, “not great time keeping”. It seems much of the evidence base for the allegations stems from video footage that has been placed on the internet. In light of such overwhelmingly clear (as long as you have it up on a very fast bandwidth and ignore the glitches) evidence will result in the timekeepers who were standing directly in line with the finish being overturned? ‘1500 result?’ certainly hopes so-“there is something seriously wrong with this [1500m ‘A’ race] result- look at 10th, 11th, 12th and 13th position.” Regrettably, Mr ‘1500 result?’ appears not to have all of his facts in line, “Luke Gunn dips someone on the line, who I assume is the Dutch athlete but he’s 0.2 behind on the result”. Outrageous! An unnamed athlete may or may not have beaten Luke Gunn and this may or may not be clear from the video. Court of Arbitration for Sport here we come!

SPORT CITY BMC GRAND PRIX PREVIEW

The Echo looks ahead to the first major test for the distance fraternity.

Ryan McLeod will aim to dispel rumours that he “cannot count to twelve” when he makes his seasonal debut over 5,000m. The Tipton Harrier looked impressive in storming to a magnificent PB of 8:00.90 over 3,000m on Sunday- but revealed that there “should be more to come” as he goes head to head with Johnny Mellor for the first time since the now infamous Champs Elysees-gate. The pair fell out as the Geordie attempted to drive the “wrong way” around a Parisian roundabout, resulting in Mellor being pictured attempting to steal the hubcaps of the McLeod mobile not far from the Eifel Tower. Speaking exclusively to the Lufbra Echo, the Loughborough based McLeod said that he “did not know” how he was going to react when he saw the Liverpudlian. “There’s a lot of hurt there,” sighed the 13:58 5k man, “he clearly cheated on Call of Duty and I hate people like that”.

Elsewhere, rumours that the disgraced AAAs fraudster, Pete Matthews was set to make his first outing of what he promises will be a “massive” season have been shown to be wide of the mark. It seems that Matthews is saving his premiere for the notoriously high quality Northern League in a fortnight. His spokesman has said that the red head is still “very much on” to achieve his “minimum targets” of under 1:56, 3:55, 8:30 and 15 minutes for 800m, 1500, 3k and 5k respectively. “The thing is, Pete will be embarrassed if he doesn’t achieve these times,” said a close source, “he is a cut above the average and will prove it this year”.

A major blow came for the event when both Frank Baddick and Nick McCormick snubbed the opportunity to race on the grounds that it was “now below” them. Speaking from a press conference earlier in the week, McCormick was keen to dismiss rumours that his “offensively short” hair was still preventing him from gaining entry to British events. “It was my decision,” affirmed the Morpeth star, “I am better than that now. It [the hair] is causing a few issues though. I am certain that it is lowering my core temperature and that led to a poor performance in Rehlingen [where he ran 3:41]”. Baddick, meanwhile has revealed that he has “moved on” from British races generally. “I just think it’s time for a change,” said the Newham and Essex Beagle, “I’ve heard that the water on the continent is more conducive to fast running and so will try there.” Stephen Emery, who clashed with Baddick earlier in the season, called his decision “an indication of how desperate he has become.” The Coventry man, who has been a revelation this year, said “he knows that I’m top dog around here now and so has to go elsewhere. I warned everyone- I told them I would come for them and now I have. It’s over for Frank. He is finished.” Emery will attempt to keep up his extraordinary run of either running a PB or winning a medal in every race of the season so far as he goes up against Gary Bradbury in the 800m D race.

'SERIOUS' HAIRCUT COSTS McCORMICK PLACE IN LOUGHBOROUGH INTERNATIONAL

Nick McCormick has risked the wrath of his paymasters today by branding the inclusion policy at this weekend's Loughborough International as "downright amateur". McCormick- who is still yet to make his debut for the African Violets- has been left out of the event after his new haircut was ruled to be outside the legal limit for shortness. A spokesman for LIA Events Ltd., said that they were "deeply saddened" to have to exclude McCormick, but that rules were "there for a reason". The source continued, "we have a good number of dignitaries attending and it isn't right that they be encountered by such an intimidating hair style. Athletes who have their hair that short for medical reasons are welcome to apply for a Therapeutic Shortness Exemption (TSE). Sadly, Mr. McCormick failed to do this." The Morpeth man was not willing to accept this, however, and is rumoured to have "given [Alasdair Donaldson] an earful" over the omission. McCormick ruled out a "sit in protest" at the event on the grounds that he "had better things to do than worry about stupid small time meets at the start of the season".

The great irony is that McCormick only had his hair cut in the past week after it was deemed to be interfering with his training. In a recent session, the 3:33.9 1500m man was "roughly half a second" per repetition down on target and his "stupidly long" hair took the blame. "It was getting silly," explained the GB International, "and so I sat down with my coach and we discussed appropriate lengths.....it was always in the plan that I have this sort of drastic haircut- it's just come a couple of years sooner."

A bad week could get worse for McCormick on Friday when he is set to appear before a panel of "furious" Loughborough chiefs. It is thought that the hierarchy are becoming increasingly frustrated by a failure to see a return on their hefty investment. "It quite clearly states in his contract that he is not to go getting haircuts without our approval" said a disgruntled insider, "the whole point of the College is that we can house people like [McCormick] and if they keep skipping events like LIA, it really casts doubt on whether it's worth the money." Our source also stated that it was "inevitable" that McCormick would be fined over the mishap.

McLEOD 'SORRY' AFTER ALTER-G BLUNDER

Ryan McLeod has apologised after breaking Loughborough's Alter-G Treadmill. The machine, which costs in excess of £40,000, has been damaged beyond economical repair after the 13:58 man attempted to recreate "rainy conditions" in the lab. It is thought that he and Nick McCormick came up with the idea after bemoaning the lack of preparation that they were getting for the English summer. "The fact is," reasoned McLeod, "it will probably pour it down at the AAAs and when you're injured you never get that feel of rain on your face." McCormick explained how whilst one of them trained on the Alter-G the other threw buckets of water on the runner's head. "Sure, it wasn't ideal" said the Morpeth man, "but it is a jolly sight better than being surprised when it starts to rain for real."

The pair have maintained that they "did not know" that the treadmill was not designed for such experimentation. McLeod said, "at college, they're always telling us to use our initiative. Well I think that this is genius. If only we had known that it would break the damn treadmill." The first sign of trouble came when McCormick went from running at 50% body weight to 95% without any warning. "I was worried then," conceded the 28:57 10k man, "but Ryan said that always happened so we carried on." It was only when sparks started flying from the machine's control panel that they realised there was a serious problem. Unfortunately, McLeod's attempts to "dry out" the treadmill with a hair dryer proved futile. "That was a shame that was," sighed the Geordie, "we would have got away with it otherwise."

George Gandy, Loughborough's Director of Athletics is said to be seething at the gaffe and will deal "strongly" with the pair when he returns from the World Cross Country Championships. Gandy said that he "had not ruled out" revoking the pair's campus parking privileges. "It's a serious mistake and they both need punishing" said the guru from a Polish night-club, "if they can't be trusted with a treadmill then I don't think we can trust them with cars."