COE OFFERED 'CAN OF COKE' TO IOC CHIEFS SHOCK

Lord Sebastian Coe is facing a fight for his career and credibility this evening after it was revealed that the Head of London 2012 offered to "buy all the IOC executives a can of coke" just days before they were due to vote on the destination of the 2012 Games. The revelations come just over a year before the Games' Opening Ceremony and officials in Paris (who lost out to London) have called for them to be "postponed" until an investigation can be carried out.

A furious Paris insider blasted the "disgusting unfairness" of the selection process. "I think it is very unfair" thundered Olympic Minister Jean-Pierre Le Frog "for me, the Olympics must be decided by the best bid and not who has the right money for the vending machine." Le Frog dismissed allegations that his own bid team were responsible for offering the decision makers "a bottle of Orangina" for both them and a partner. "This is nonsense, total nonsense" he blasted "what is not nonsense is what we have always said- this [Lord] Coe is nasty and very strange".

A Senior 2012 Official confirmed that his Lordship had been made aware of the story and that they had "no comment other than to make it clear that they intend to go ahead as planned on July 27th". It is not yet clear whether any of the IOC Chiefs took up Coe's offer, but is understood that some were alienated when Diet Coke was not available.

COULD 'ALIEN INVASION' THREATEN 2012 TICKET PRICES?

The possibility of a "killer alien invasion" may result in a rise in the Olympic ticket prices. According to a report seen by the lufbra echo, 2012 security chiefs have called for an increase in funding in a bid to combat the potential of a deadly attack from "Martian beings". It is understood that Lord Coe - who is in charge of organising the Games - is concerned that 2012 could dangerously coincide with ancient prophesies that the world will end in 2012. "We're all going to die" laughed an Olympic insider "in all seriousness though, we need to take any threat to athlete security very gravely".

The head of 2012 security has asked for a £500m grant from LOCOG in order to purchase the latest "SkySCANNER" that can detect aliens from "millions of miles away". The report urges London heads to take the threat seriously and suggests that the move could be paid for by "getting the protected spectators" to foot the bill. "It's a no brainer in my opinion" concluded the informal prologue to the report "the fact is that the world should come to its end next year and I would hate for it to happen on my watch". Ticket prices could therefore go up by "at least 35%".

The IOC have recently been forced to deny speculation that the Games themselves were to be moved to 2011 in order to avoid the clash with Armageddon. "It was never discussed" said a spokesman for the President "the Olympics will go ahead in 2012. Regardless of the world ending or not".