RUNNING IS 'HARD WORK': REPORT

The sport of long distance running is "jolly difficult" according to a report seen by the lufbra echo. The news comes as some runners at last weekend's Trafford 10k complained of "shortness of breath" at the finish. "I got to 3k" gasped Ricky Stevenson after finishing 3rd "and thought 'this is going to be tough'....at 5k I felt worse". Despite rumours that Stevenson had "forgotten" about the race and so trained hard in the run up, many have said that this is the clearest evidence yet that the sport can be difficult.

Professor W A Ster from the University of North Dubstable who is the lead author of the paper, told the lufbra echo that his findings should "make everyone sit up and pay attention". "It goes along way to explaining why people struggled to convert their dreams into reality" explained the man who found running to be a healthy form of exercise last year "I think that UK Athletics should take this very seriously".

A key finding from the report was that in order to excel in athletics "a significant amount of hard training is required". However, sources close to several top athletes have slammed the findings as "ridiculous". "Hard work never got anyone anywhere" thundered Nick Goolab's Deputy Director of Bag Carrying Affairs "this is just a silly myth designed to scare people - Nick has gone straight for a blood test as a result".

It is not yet clear what the implications of the study will be, but 2012 insiders have said that crisis meetings are to be held over the coming days. "This is what we call a game-changer" said a source "it could have a profound impact on how the Games are structured - if they go ahead at all."

BEATEN EMERY BEMOANS 'RIDICULOUS' COURSE

Stephen Emery has hit out at what he calls an "unbelievable" course for Saturday's BUCS Cross Country Championships. Emery was well beaten in the race by Nick Goolab and slumped to a disappointing 12th place, unable to hold his dismal Loughborough team together. The Coventry Godiva man was indignant in defeat however and claimed that Birmingham were "totally wrong" in selecting a course that "played right into the hands" of their top men. "What's done is done," sighed Loughborough's first counter "I can't change that now and whilst they [the rules] weren't absolutely clear going into the race- I have to live with it." 

A representative for BUCS Cross Country dismissed Emery's allegations and added that the day had been a "resounding success". The spokesperson went on, "we have had many many emails praising our efforts on the day. There were a few issues with parking and that is something we will address in later years." When asked to respond to Emery's comments about the decision to "ditch the ditch", the spokesman said that it had been a "safety decision". "If someone fell and hurt themselves, we could never live with it" said the source "we had no choice but to take it out. There were some really, really poor runners out there today".

Emery, however, is incandescent. When asked when he would next be competing, the 3:48 1500m man looked away. "It's really upsetting when something like this happens" said the clearly tired engineer "I have come to trust the rules, the authorities and then an incident like this ruins all of that. Who knows whether I'll bother again, I'm just really hurting right now". Emery went on to add that he felt he would have "won comfortably" on the standard course. "I have been successful there time and time again and suddenly they change it. My question is why? What are they scared of?"

Emery's comments will come as a relief to under-fire LSAC captain Ben Snowball. Radio phone-ins were inundated with angry Loughborough fans yesterday evening demanding the skipper's "immediate resignation". One caller said that the performance was "the worst in history" and that Snowball should "do the decent thing". "He's hanging on for the payout, that much is clear" said the lifetime season ticket holder "we can't go on like this". Snowball would stand to gain £4m if his contract was terminated. Although not explicitly stating support for Snowball, many inside LSAC have not been so quick to criticise. George Gandy chose to blame David Howe yesterday evening and with Emery now citing "obviously biassed" officiating, Snowball might just be able to fight on for another week. 

BULDARO READY FOR BUCS CHALLENGE

Bud Buldaro has said that his Birmingham team are "the strongest in years" ahead of this weekend's BUCS Cross Country Championships. Buldaro will not announce his team until tomorrow evening but was in a bullish move this lunchtime. "Loughborough are as poor as I have ever seen them" said the velvet tongued head coach "and I think the majority of the St Mary's team are busy re-taking their exams. I can't see anyone getting close to Birmingham". The manager will be hoping his side will be able to defend their title on home soil this Saturday afternoon.

Buldaro was largely dismissive of a very quiet transfer window for his team. Birmingham were not successful in landing Stephen Emery - despite a rumoured £40m bid - and also had an approach for Gary Bradbury rejected. "I don't need to strengthen my team" said Buldaro "I always think that the January transfer window is just about panicking to be honest. You look at weaker sides and they see the summer coming and think 'gee, we need to get more guys in'. Nonsense, I back my lot". Buldaro denied that the Emery deal had fallen through after the Vice Chancellor vetoed it and maintained that he had "complete control" of team affairs.

News for Birmingham got even better this evening as a spokesman revealed that Nick Goolab had "completely recovered" from a broken toe nail and was therefore available this weekend. "Nick had a blood test at the beginning of this week" said the source "and it is all clear. If selected, he will line up on Saturday".

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RUNNERSLIFE IN EIGHTLANE SLUR

“Nonsensical tosh written by idiots, for idiots” was the shocking accusation levelled at popular running forum Eightlane.com this evening. The rant came from the Chief Executive of fierce rival, runnerslife.co.uk, after several months of underhand blows. Runnerslife has accused Eightlane founder, Alan Wales, of employing “dirty tricks” in a bid to lure their athletes away to post training logs onto his sites. Lawyers for Mr. Wales have dismissed the complaints as “nonsense”, but the Welsh-based Runnerslife may well cite the recent departure of Stephen Sharp as evidence- the Belgrave man has been a regular fixture on Eightlane since he quit Runnerslife. It is no secret that Sharp complained to the Runnerslife management on several occasions that he was not receiving adequate protection from “slanderous, baseless filth” appearing as comments on his blog and rival sites. Speaking earlier in the year, Sharp said “it is what drove Mark Draper away and the same is happening to me. We put ourselves out there and get shot down. Where are the lawyers when you need them?” It is thought that Runnerslife are “very nervous” that they could lose Sharp’s coaching charge, Nick Goolab, if they do not act now.

Runnerslife insiders have also revealed that website chiefs are “absolutely fuming” that a potential move for Eightlane regular, Luke Cragg was thwarted. Our source said, “Cragg was ready to join the team, but pulled out at the last moment. We all know it is because Wales threatened him with de-registration.” Wales could be in hot water this week after Runnerslife reported comments made on his site in the recent McLeod-Russell dispute to Ofcom. It is rumoured that McLeod threatened to “up sticks and leave” if his website did not back him in the spat and regulators at Runnerslife are said to be “disappointed” that the thread in question was not frozen. “They wonder why they are losing viewership to Letsrun.com [another rival], well it’s that sort of behaviour that drives them away,” said a Runnerslife executive.

Eightlane took unsuccessful legal action when the “fly on the wall” style rival launched a forum of its own last year. A High Court judge threw out the claims as “everyone is entitled to have a forum- we all look forward to reading what anonymous people think about other anonymous people”. At the time, Runnerslife received a rough-ride on the boards of its rival. “Runnerslife is awful,” thundered ‘Rubbish’, “I read some [training logs] the other day that said something like Thursday – 7 tempo.... WTF?” Whilst ‘Fanofboth’ was keen to remain impartial, others clearly had it in for the plucky Welsh site. “That runnerslife lot fink they are well good [sic]” chortled ‘p*ss off’, “well they shud run well away innit [sic]”.

Runnerslife did, however, find themselves in serious trouble over the axe-gate scandal. Spies on Eightlane circulated rumours that Runnerslife had been shut down leading to the website being inundated with requests for it to stay. It was later proved in court that it had all been a publicity stunt and a “rebranding exercise.” Eightlaners were indignant, “Outrageous,” opined ‘Derek Dogg’, “how can they use Eightlane for such blatant lies?” Runnerslife were ordered to compensate Mr. Wales to the tune of a little over £5,000 for the gaffe. This latest dispute is unlikely to end up in court. However, negation experts ACAS have been placed on standby if a compensatory agreement for the loss of Sharp and Cragg cannot be reached. An ACAS source said that this was “no worse” than the British Airways strikes and that he was confident a solution could be reached. “The lines of communication are open,” said the source, “we just hope that ‘Cod Liver Oil’ and the team play ball”.

BUCS DAY THREE.....

Well, it's all over. Another year, another early-season 'major' Championships comes to an end. The Lufbra Echo rounds up the action from the last day.....

HOWE DENIES BATH AMBITION

Loughborough's assistant coach, David Howe has "categorically denied" rumours linking him with a big money move to Bath University. The Canadian was mobbed by journalists as he arrived at Bedford this morning after Bath chiefs were seen meeting with him late last night. This morning's Sun carried pictures of Bath students wearing "GO CANUCKS" t-shirts and quoted the University's Director of Sport saying that he "had always had the utmost respect for all Canadians". When contacted by the Echo this morning, Bath insiders revealed that University supremos were "ready to commit to the right man" to lead the athletics set up. "Bath are ready to become a major force in Track and Field," said a source, "we have secured a lot of funding and are on the lookout for someone to lead us to a BUCS Outdoor push within the next few years." The spokesman dismissed speculation that George Gandy was about to "offload" Alasdair Donaldson on the spa town.

Howe meanwhile was keeping a low profile at today's events and was carefully watched by Loughborough's security personnel. John Nutall, however, did reveal that Howe was "thinking seriously" about his future and that "any opportunity would be looked at". The Preston born coach went on, "if I was David, I would be flattered. The opportunity to lead a great team like Bath with good backing is a once in a lifetime. I hope they find someone. Maybe a disgruntled UKA employed Prestonian with an excellent CV and good track performances to match. But who knows?"

As he drove away from the stadium, Howe called the links "ridiculous" before nearly causing a major accident by pulling out in front a a speeding BMW.

'ARCTIC' TEMPERATURES FRUSTRATE BRADBURY

Gary Bradbury has called for next year's Championships to be held elsewhere after bemoaning the "stupidly cold" conditions for the 1500m final. "It was terrible," said the Woking star, "I seriously considered racing in a tracksuit." Bradbury, who finished 4th, also responded to criticism that he did not take his semi-final seriously enough after sending a text message half-way through the race. "Look, if the other guys insist on running that slowly, then I am bound to get bored," fumed the 3:43 man, "I had been meaning to text this guy back about Chelsea tickets for a while and so I thought I would before I forgot."

Bradbury was not the only man to hit out at the weather. The entire Loughborough men's 4x100m team initially refused to race owing to a "ludicrous risk" of muscular damage. Luke Stott explained from the call room, "I have just been out there and let me tell you there's no way we can run it. It wouldn't be safe." Officials have denied that they were considering bringing in heaters to warm the track for the relays. "That was never on the cards," said an insider, "it was raised by a junior staffer and we dismissed it immediately. Thankfully the Loughborough guys relented after Ian Anholm threatened to ban the use of ice baths back in the East Midlands."

EMERY 'THRILLED' AFTER SENSIBLE DISPLAY

Stephen Emery has spoken of his "delight" after securing a bronze medal in the final of the men's 5,000m. The Coventry star stunned other competitors with a lethal 27.63 final 200m and made no effort to hide his glee. "I hope this shuts everyone up now," Emery told the Echo immediately afterwards, "Ben Green and the like have been on at me for so long. Why don't I increase this or do more of that- but this proves that being sensible is what counts." So sensible was Emery that he missed the medal presentation in order to complete his systematic cool down. "What a stupid time to hold the ceremony," said the 22 year-old, "if I didn't do my jog and exercises I would live to regret it for sure."

There is no doubting Emery's impressive performance this morning. Initially sitting just behind the main pack, the 1:52 800m man made steady progress throughout the middle portion of the race and unleashed his impressive sprint at the right moment. Unfortunately for him, race leaders Nick Goolab and Rory Chesser had got away from the field by this stage and it had become a scrap for bronze. Speaking after the race, new champion Nick Goolab bemoaned a "pedestrian" opening gambit. "The first few laps were absolutely ridiculous," said the Belgrave star, "I wish I hadn't bothered to warm up now it was so slow. Eventually I decided to turn it into a tempo and Rory was the only guy brave enough to come with me." Goolab also showed a good race awareness as he kicked away from Chesser in the final 100m. "It just wasn't my day," sighed a deflated Chesser after the race, "Goolab started saying nasty things to me in the last kilometre like 'you need a hair cut' and 'your socks are rubbish'. I guess that got to me."

BUCS DAY TWO.....

Wind and rain may have battered Bedford today, but our guys remain resolute in bringing you all the action and gossip from BUCS......

COFFEE PROVISION MUST IMPROVE: BULDARO

Birmingham’s head coach, Bud Buldaro has hit out at what he calls “rancid” coffee served at Bedford’s stadium. “Have you tried it?” fumed the velvet tongued coach, “it’s dreadful. In this day and age you really do expect better. How can coaches be expected to go about their business when having to drink that rubbish?” Buldaro spent “several hours” with officials last night discussing the situation and revealed today that it would be “unlikely” to improve. Emerging from the talks in the early hours of the morning, he said “the trouble is they are stuck in their ways. They think that we have to have rubbish coffee at UK track events- well we don’t. It’s 2010, not 1910”.

BUCS chiefs would not comment officially this morning, but well placed sources have told the Lufbra Echo that Buldaro was “very angry” last night. “I think he was upset that Nick Goolab wore the wrong socks or something, but he was right up in the face of the meeting referee.” Our insider continued, “we don’t see anything really wrong with the coffee. If you don’t like it, then don’t drink it.”

OXBRIDGE BEMOAN ‘PLEB SITUATION’

Representatives of Britain’s two leading Universities, Oxford and Cambridge have complained that a growing number of “common people” are distracting them from their races. A spokesman for the two institutions said, “it’s so very tiresome. We can’t be expected to prepare fully for the 100 yard dash and the like if these imbeciles start charging around like school children.” One Oxford athlete was furious after a student from Essex University “maliciously” spilt a can of Red Bull over his copy of Hamlet. “If I don’t read Hamlet’s glorious soliloquy before racing then there is no point,” thundered the beaten 1500m semi-finalist, “that’s my season effectively over now. I am heartbroken.”

Oxbridge leaders have called for a “special call room” for individuals who have gained a minimum of 6 A graded A Levels. The source went on, “they have to study a reasonable course as well. We can’t have these simpletons who read ‘Sport Science’ coming in. Suitable attire will have to be worn and these ghastly iPods will be banned.” It is thought that Cambridge students have become particularly upset with the “repulsive culture of hugging your opponent at the end of the race.” One athlete said, “what has happened to the traditional hand shake? It’s not nice to have sweaty plebeians coming up and embracing you.”

It is unlikely that the complainers will garner much sympathy with the officials in charge of the event. A BUCS source said, “it’s outrageous. Just because they want to turn up in fancy dress and prance around in smoking jackets, they think they can boss everyone around. Well they can’t.” The insider went on to point out that the annual clash between Oxford and Cambridge in the Boat Race had “no quality whatsoever”. “Neither of those teams would get near the final of a BUCS event. They need to get over themselves.”

ATHLETE FAILS TO MAKE FINAL AFTER “NOT RUNNING QUICK ENOUGH” SHOCK

A middle-distance runner will not compete in the final of his event after “not running as quick” as other athletes in his semi-final. The athlete, who has asked to remain nameless, is said to be “an established name” on the athletics circuit and offered no excuse for his failure. When asked what went wrong, he left observers gob-smacked by conceding that he “probably wasn’t as good” as the people who beat him. One watcher said afterwards, “it was unbelievable- he virtually gave up. He could have blamed the wind, the pH level of the water here or the ridiculously bright vests that some athletes wear, but he didn’t.” Commentators have criticised the athlete for a “lack of fighting spirit”. Paula Radcliffe told the Echo that anybody worth their salt should have a “bank of excuses” at the ready. “It doesn’t matter what they are,” said one of the best Olympic failures of all time, “but there’s always a reason and you never, ever just say that you weren’t good enough.”

The shocking revelation comes as other athletes were less gracious and officials hurriedly released statements apologising for “unprecedented levels” of disappointment caused largely by the wind. “There has been a lot of upset today,” said an insider, “we are looking at erecting large screens in future because the wind has been such a pain today....we have had a lot of complaints.”

UKA CALL FOR CALM AS ASH CLOUD SPREADS

UKA are “seriously considering” cancelling early athletics meetings this summer after the ash from the Eyjafjallajokull volcano spreads across Europe. European airspace is in meltdown and many athletes are resorting to extraordinary measures in a bid to return to the UK. A UKA spokesman urged athletes to “remain calm” in the crisis, but conceded that it was now “very likely” that events such as the BUCS Outdoor Championships would be axed. “We don’t want people taking insane risks just to get back for BUCS,” said the source from his holiday home in New Zealand, “Nick Goolab and Stephen Sharp have already attempted to swim home from Portugal for the National 12 Stage and we can’t have everyone trying this.” The Belgrave pair were fished out of the Atlantic Ocean just half a mile from shore after Sharp inadvertently went the wrong way. Speaking from a hospital in Lisbon, where both were given the all clear, Sharp said “I didn’t realise that my iPhone wasn’t water proof and so the route map application broke and we ended up swimming towards Africa....Nick’s knackered now but it’s all good training.” Despite the setback, Sharp refused to rule himself out of the relays that start at midday tomorrow. “It’s not over yet,” said the most successful relay runner in British history, “I have spoken to Alan [Mead, Belgrave manager] and asked for a later leg. We could run there and just do a shortened cool down.” For their part, Belgrave have denied encouraging their stars to take unprecedented measures in order to make the relays. “We preach responsibility,” said an insider, “our guys must remember that they are role models to millions of kids and when they do something stupid it may be copied.”

In Portugal, David Howe and Alasdair Donaldson have been delayed in departing from LSAC’s warm weather training camp and Preston AC have had to postpone their return by nearly a week. A Preston source bemoaned a “difficult” situation. “The other night we really fell out with the Loughborough lot on the grounds we wouldn’t see them again. Now we’re stuck with them and their egos for ages- it’s awful.” Donaldson meanwhile is believed to have abandoned a bid to cycle up to Front Romeu in the Pyrenees, where his UKA colleagues are currently based. It is rumoured that the Scot fell off his bike only three kilometres into the trip and “badly grazed” his right knee. Our UKA source went on, “this situation does weird things to people. I know that Alasdair wants to be with the guys in France but he’ll be fine in Portugal.” Yesterday evening, Donaldson indicated that he was “gravely concerned” at the prospect of being stranded in Portugal. The Newham and Essex Beagle has claimed that he is being “relentlessly bullied” by the girls at the LSAC camp. “They aren’t being very nice,” sobbed the Scot, “Dani [Christmas] said that my tan wasn’t very good yesterday and that’s so upsetting.”

Back in the UK, some athletes are refusing to train in light of the “horrendous” air quality. Gary Bradbury revealed that he could “hardly breathe” on a recent recovery run and said that he would be writing off the next three weeks as a precaution. Chris Warburton was in a similar situation and indicated that his “entire season” may well now be over. “I think the dust cloud had an early effect on me in Portugal,” said the 3:38 man, “it’s been erupting for a couple of weeks now and that would explain why Stephen Emery was able to beat me in training.”

Elsewhere, Paula Radcliffe has paid £250,000 for a special “EasyBreathe” system to help her avoid any long term damage during her training. The Bedford and County said, “it’s great- I wear this special mask and it almost feels like normal.” The Marathon World Record holder revealed that there was a bit of snag when the company refused to print the Nike Swoosh on the device and thus rendering it useless. “It was fine in the end because Gary [Lough, Paula’s husband] drew it on with a Nike permanent marker,” Radcliffe explained, “he’s good like that- always coming up with ingenious solutions.”