UK Athletics have been forced to reveal that they pay their top officials a salary. The Governing Body went to the High Court in a desperate bid to block the Freedom of Information request submitted by popular running forum Eightlane. In dramatic proceedings late last night, we at the Lufbra Echo were blocked from revealing the names of the individuals at the centre of the controversy but can confirm that top members of staff are earning a “comfortable wage”. The news has sent shockwaves through the entire sport, with many calling for the immediate resignation of the entire UKA board. Under fire Chairman, Ed Warner, released a statement in the early hours of the morning pledging “absolute transparency” on the matter. “It is unfortunate that UKA has been forced to succumb to market forces and I am sorry to say that some of our staff members do get paid a salary,” said the clearly tired Warner, “we have had exhaustive talks on the matter and where we might go from here, but can tell you that nothing will be decided for at least a fortnight.” Under pressure from the pack of journalists outside Athletics House, Warner refused to rule out the possibility of other members of staff in the future also getting paid work from the Governing Body. The Chairman also defended UKA’s record pointing out the award that they received back in March. “We’re doing fine,” Warner kept repeating before heading back inside for “further talks” with other members of the board.
Many fans of the sport have said that they feel “let down” by UKA. Eightlane has been inundated with angry posters expressing “horrer [sic]” at the situation. The journalist who broke the story, one ‘Flabbergasted’ breathlessly asked “WTF does [unnamed official] do for his cash and what has he done thus far?” Feelings certainly then ran high, as stunned users could not reconcile the fact that some people in athletics received income from the sport: “he [one individual who gets paid] wasn;t [sic] recruited by a transparent process” thundered ‘Not UK Sport’. Meanwhile, ‘Truth’ branded the individual whom the Echo cannot name “an arrogant tosser” and opined, “he [mystery man] will be sacked by 2012”. ‘Jealous’ chose to attack the unnamed official’s dress sense, “he was dressed like a tramp on Sunday,” the anonymous poster helpfully pointed out, adding that the chief should “work on his image to gain some respect”.
Wednesday 30 June 2010
Monday 28 June 2010
UK CHAMPIONSHIPS NEWS
All the major talking points from the weekend.......
MOSES CALLS FOR HAWK EYE INTRODUCTION
FURY: Wayne Rooney shares the news
Lewis Moses has said that he felt “absolutely robbed” of a legitimate place in the 1500m final after being denied on a photo-finish. As it was, the Loughborough based star was forced to pace the final and dropped out after 900m. Speaking after the final, Moses’ frustration was clear. “I could see that I got in,” said the 3:42 man, “everyone in the ground could see that I got in, so why didn’t the officials? It’s very poor.” Calling on the IAAF to “act now”, Moses slammed the “historic” arrangements currently on offer at the finish line. “It seems that we are always talking about this and it is ruining the sport,” Moses told the BBC, “how many more high profile foul ups will it take before someone gets the technology right? Tennis have had Hawk-Eye for years and so should we.” The Prime Minister watched the Championships from the G20 Summit in Canada and added weight to the calls for video technology. David Cameron said: "I'm a keen follower of cricket and tennis and I think the third umpire has been a great thing and the machines that bleep at Wimbledon are quite handy too. Maybe that's something that [athletics] could now have a look at."
ANGER AT FOSTER SNUB
The BBC have revealed that they have been “inundated” with complaints regarding their coverage of the UK Championships this weekend. Angry viewers have complained that the commentary was “far too positive” in the absence of Brendan Foster. It seems that many football fans switched over from England’s humiliation at the hands of Germany hoping to find that athletics was in a far worse state that the national game. “As it was, [Steve Cram] just kept dwelling on the positives,” thundered one disappointed female viewer, “where were the gibes at the demise of distance running? By the time the women’s 800m final was on, I switched off because the positivity was all too much.” The BBC have apologised for the positive slant and have said that they would “do all they can” to ensure that future broadcasts will look at how far athletics has gone backwards in future.
Bad news came for Jonathan Edwards who found himself sidelined after Saturday’s “abysmal” anchoring performance. It now seems very unlikely that the former Olympic Champion will be allowed to perform such a role again as rumours are rife that Denise Lewis and Colin Jackson refused to work with him on the Sunday. A BBC insider said, “he kept talking about himself, even when he was interviewing a distance runner.....and he insisted on carrying a clipboard even though it was clear to everyone that there was nothing on the bloody thing!” The criticism will be particularly hard to take for Edwards, as he ditched his trendy earring (seen briefly at the Beeb’s coverage of the Great North Run last year) in order to take on the more serious role. John Inverdale had to be hurriedly dispatched from Wimbledon in order to “clean up the mess” that Edwards had left. The broadcasting legend was none too pleased at having his Sunday afternoon ruined by the former triple-jumper’s incompetence and pledged to have “firm words” as soon as he catches up with him.
RUSSELL FAILS IN 5K BID
HEARTBREAK: Russell's loyal following declared themselves "proud" of their man
SPIKE ‘DID ALL HE COULD’ TO IMPRESS SELECTORS
UK Athletics mascot, Spike, has said that he “made the best of a bad situation” in an attempt to make the team for Barcelona. The mascot, who has been dogged my injuries all season said that he still hoped he would be able to achieve the ‘B’ standard at the Gateshead Grand Prix in a couple of weeks. “This is my first competitive outing this season,” said the red-skinned star, “I got banned from all BMC meetings and so it is hard to find form. I remain positive and thank all those who stood by me.” Spike was referring to his nationwide ban from all British Milers Club events after he was involved in an infamous bust up with Berlino the Bear (of World Championships fame) last year. UKA courted heavy criticism for standing by their mascot despite the fact that he was clearly seen to strike the blue-skinned bear in the face. It is rumoured that Berlino made “disparaging remarks” about Spike’s lineage (he is a cousin of the Manchester United mascot Fred the Red) and professed himself to be a Liverpool fan. The pair had to be separated by police and their conduct is still the subject of an independent investigation. The Chief Executive of the BMC said that he was left with “no choice” but to issue Spike with a lifetime ban as he had “clearly brought the sport into disrepute.”
MOSES CALLS FOR HAWK EYE INTRODUCTION
FURY: Wayne Rooney shares the news
Lewis Moses has said that he felt “absolutely robbed” of a legitimate place in the 1500m final after being denied on a photo-finish. As it was, the Loughborough based star was forced to pace the final and dropped out after 900m. Speaking after the final, Moses’ frustration was clear. “I could see that I got in,” said the 3:42 man, “everyone in the ground could see that I got in, so why didn’t the officials? It’s very poor.” Calling on the IAAF to “act now”, Moses slammed the “historic” arrangements currently on offer at the finish line. “It seems that we are always talking about this and it is ruining the sport,” Moses told the BBC, “how many more high profile foul ups will it take before someone gets the technology right? Tennis have had Hawk-Eye for years and so should we.” The Prime Minister watched the Championships from the G20 Summit in Canada and added weight to the calls for video technology. David Cameron said: "I'm a keen follower of cricket and tennis and I think the third umpire has been a great thing and the machines that bleep at Wimbledon are quite handy too. Maybe that's something that [athletics] could now have a look at."
ANGER AT FOSTER SNUB
The BBC have revealed that they have been “inundated” with complaints regarding their coverage of the UK Championships this weekend. Angry viewers have complained that the commentary was “far too positive” in the absence of Brendan Foster. It seems that many football fans switched over from England’s humiliation at the hands of Germany hoping to find that athletics was in a far worse state that the national game. “As it was, [Steve Cram] just kept dwelling on the positives,” thundered one disappointed female viewer, “where were the gibes at the demise of distance running? By the time the women’s 800m final was on, I switched off because the positivity was all too much.” The BBC have apologised for the positive slant and have said that they would “do all they can” to ensure that future broadcasts will look at how far athletics has gone backwards in future.
Bad news came for Jonathan Edwards who found himself sidelined after Saturday’s “abysmal” anchoring performance. It now seems very unlikely that the former Olympic Champion will be allowed to perform such a role again as rumours are rife that Denise Lewis and Colin Jackson refused to work with him on the Sunday. A BBC insider said, “he kept talking about himself, even when he was interviewing a distance runner.....and he insisted on carrying a clipboard even though it was clear to everyone that there was nothing on the bloody thing!” The criticism will be particularly hard to take for Edwards, as he ditched his trendy earring (seen briefly at the Beeb’s coverage of the Great North Run last year) in order to take on the more serious role. John Inverdale had to be hurriedly dispatched from Wimbledon in order to “clean up the mess” that Edwards had left. The broadcasting legend was none too pleased at having his Sunday afternoon ruined by the former triple-jumper’s incompetence and pledged to have “firm words” as soon as he catches up with him.
RUSSELL FAILS IN 5K BID
HEARTBREAK: Russell's loyal following declared themselves "proud" of their man
SPIKE ‘DID ALL HE COULD’ TO IMPRESS SELECTORS
UK Athletics mascot, Spike, has said that he “made the best of a bad situation” in an attempt to make the team for Barcelona. The mascot, who has been dogged my injuries all season said that he still hoped he would be able to achieve the ‘B’ standard at the Gateshead Grand Prix in a couple of weeks. “This is my first competitive outing this season,” said the red-skinned star, “I got banned from all BMC meetings and so it is hard to find form. I remain positive and thank all those who stood by me.” Spike was referring to his nationwide ban from all British Milers Club events after he was involved in an infamous bust up with Berlino the Bear (of World Championships fame) last year. UKA courted heavy criticism for standing by their mascot despite the fact that he was clearly seen to strike the blue-skinned bear in the face. It is rumoured that Berlino made “disparaging remarks” about Spike’s lineage (he is a cousin of the Manchester United mascot Fred the Red) and professed himself to be a Liverpool fan. The pair had to be separated by police and their conduct is still the subject of an independent investigation. The Chief Executive of the BMC said that he was left with “no choice” but to issue Spike with a lifetime ban as he had “clearly brought the sport into disrepute.”
Saturday 26 June 2010
Friday 25 June 2010
AAAs AND MORE......
BIRMINGHAM SET FOR UK CHAMPS
Security is set to be “tighter than ever before” at the UK Championships, according to UKA insiders. It is believed that UKA have tightened the ticketing policy after thousands of touts were arrested outside the ground last year and many fans were turned away having bought counterfeit tickets. The ugly scenes that appeared on the final Sunday of the 2009 event- with many desperate supporters charging the gate in a bid to get inside- are the subject of an ongoing judicial review, the results of which will be published later this year. A senior UKA source said that lessons would be learned from past mistakes. “The police have doubled their provision,” said the member of Neils De Vos’ office, “I think it is fair to say we underestimated the animosity that existed between rival sets of fans last year.” Crowd segregation is to be “absolute” for the first time since the Coe-Ovett era, a time that saw many hooligans handed life bans.
On the track, UKA chiefs have been keen to play down rumours that the distance events will suffer from being so close to the Trafford Grand Prix to be held on Tuesday. Event organisers from Stretford have been talking up their “tremendous fields” and “cast iron guarantees from top guns” and this has angered some inside UKA. “I am certain that the National Championships will prevail,” said UKA’s events secretary, “we have made it clear to all at Trafford that such scheduling in future will be viewed very dimly.”
BEEB COMMITS TO ‘MORE COVERAGE THAN EVER’
The BBC have confirmed that the athletics will be given “prime time billing” and as such “at least 45 minutes” of live action will be shown over the course of the weekend. It is at this stage unclear who will be anchoring the coverage as Sue Barker is tied up at Wimbledon and the rest of the BBC Sport team has been dispatched to South Africa. An insider said, “to be honest, we could have done with England going out on Wednesday. We need some guys back here.” Jonathan Edwards once again “failed to impress” in his anchorage of the European Team Championships last weekend, and thus it seems likely that Hazel Irvine will be brought out of the wilderness she has inhabited since the now infamous Crystal Palace-gate last year. Irvine courted heavy criticism after looking like she was about to “burst with excitement” at the news of a failed Jamaican drug test and was accused of “going to pieces” when attempting to interview Usain Bolt. The BBC have not yet confirmed whether Phil Jones will be available to ask athletes “how they feel”, as he was last seen harassing exhausted tennis players in SW19.
CAPELLO IN SHOCK VISIT TO McLEOD PREPARATION SESSION
VAN COMMENEE SUPPORTS DRUG CHEATS ‘BECAUSE HE GREW UP IN AMSTERDAM’
Angry Eightlaners have hit out at UKA’s performance chief after he was seen to show support to Britain’s number one sprinter, Dwain Chambers. In some fearful reviews on the popular running forum, Van Commonee is accused of “[spending] many of his formative years in the cafes of Amsterdam” on the grounds that he lived “in the suburbs” as a youngster. The anonymous poster, who presumably did not spend many of his/her formative years in the schools of England, went on to add “someone in UKA who does understand the British public needs to have a quiet word”. ‘Outlook’, clearly horrified by the situation, added: “there is wacky backy and hash cake on sale in every city centre bar”. This, coupled with his “suicidal” backing of Chambers, clearly proves that Van Commenee must have spent his entire childhood doped up and is now causing “Women’s Institute types [to be] switching off their televisions in disgust” [‘Point’ et al.,2010]. One can’t help but feel that the Dutchman’s position is now untenable and his resignation will surely follow.
ISNER AND MAHUT MATCH LONGER THAN RADCLIFFE TRAINING RUN
The Wimbledon tennis match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut lasted longer than one of Paula Radcliffe’s ‘medium length’ runs. The revelation comes as Radcliffe lambasted members of the press for praising the two players’ staying power. “This is the problem with tennis players,” fumed the usually placid Radcliffe, “they stay on court for a little longer than they would have hoped and suddenly they want they earth. It’s pathetic.” Revealing that she has “warmed down for longer than their entire match”, Radcliffe maintained that she did not train too hard. “If other people spent the time I did running, then maybe we wouldn’t be in the mess that we are now in,” she said from her toe strengthening suite, “my injuries are nothing to do with over training.” In an unusually vocal mood, Radcliffe also furiously denied speculation that her next child would be named ‘Nike’.
Security is set to be “tighter than ever before” at the UK Championships, according to UKA insiders. It is believed that UKA have tightened the ticketing policy after thousands of touts were arrested outside the ground last year and many fans were turned away having bought counterfeit tickets. The ugly scenes that appeared on the final Sunday of the 2009 event- with many desperate supporters charging the gate in a bid to get inside- are the subject of an ongoing judicial review, the results of which will be published later this year. A senior UKA source said that lessons would be learned from past mistakes. “The police have doubled their provision,” said the member of Neils De Vos’ office, “I think it is fair to say we underestimated the animosity that existed between rival sets of fans last year.” Crowd segregation is to be “absolute” for the first time since the Coe-Ovett era, a time that saw many hooligans handed life bans.
On the track, UKA chiefs have been keen to play down rumours that the distance events will suffer from being so close to the Trafford Grand Prix to be held on Tuesday. Event organisers from Stretford have been talking up their “tremendous fields” and “cast iron guarantees from top guns” and this has angered some inside UKA. “I am certain that the National Championships will prevail,” said UKA’s events secretary, “we have made it clear to all at Trafford that such scheduling in future will be viewed very dimly.”
BEEB COMMITS TO ‘MORE COVERAGE THAN EVER’
The BBC have confirmed that the athletics will be given “prime time billing” and as such “at least 45 minutes” of live action will be shown over the course of the weekend. It is at this stage unclear who will be anchoring the coverage as Sue Barker is tied up at Wimbledon and the rest of the BBC Sport team has been dispatched to South Africa. An insider said, “to be honest, we could have done with England going out on Wednesday. We need some guys back here.” Jonathan Edwards once again “failed to impress” in his anchorage of the European Team Championships last weekend, and thus it seems likely that Hazel Irvine will be brought out of the wilderness she has inhabited since the now infamous Crystal Palace-gate last year. Irvine courted heavy criticism after looking like she was about to “burst with excitement” at the news of a failed Jamaican drug test and was accused of “going to pieces” when attempting to interview Usain Bolt. The BBC have not yet confirmed whether Phil Jones will be available to ask athletes “how they feel”, as he was last seen harassing exhausted tennis players in SW19.
CAPELLO IN SHOCK VISIT TO McLEOD PREPARATION SESSION
VAN COMMENEE SUPPORTS DRUG CHEATS ‘BECAUSE HE GREW UP IN AMSTERDAM’
Angry Eightlaners have hit out at UKA’s performance chief after he was seen to show support to Britain’s number one sprinter, Dwain Chambers. In some fearful reviews on the popular running forum, Van Commonee is accused of “[spending] many of his formative years in the cafes of Amsterdam” on the grounds that he lived “in the suburbs” as a youngster. The anonymous poster, who presumably did not spend many of his/her formative years in the schools of England, went on to add “someone in UKA who does understand the British public needs to have a quiet word”. ‘Outlook’, clearly horrified by the situation, added: “there is wacky backy and hash cake on sale in every city centre bar”. This, coupled with his “suicidal” backing of Chambers, clearly proves that Van Commenee must have spent his entire childhood doped up and is now causing “Women’s Institute types [to be] switching off their televisions in disgust” [‘Point’ et al.,2010]. One can’t help but feel that the Dutchman’s position is now untenable and his resignation will surely follow.
ISNER AND MAHUT MATCH LONGER THAN RADCLIFFE TRAINING RUN
The Wimbledon tennis match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut lasted longer than one of Paula Radcliffe’s ‘medium length’ runs. The revelation comes as Radcliffe lambasted members of the press for praising the two players’ staying power. “This is the problem with tennis players,” fumed the usually placid Radcliffe, “they stay on court for a little longer than they would have hoped and suddenly they want they earth. It’s pathetic.” Revealing that she has “warmed down for longer than their entire match”, Radcliffe maintained that she did not train too hard. “If other people spent the time I did running, then maybe we wouldn’t be in the mess that we are now in,” she said from her toe strengthening suite, “my injuries are nothing to do with over training.” In an unusually vocal mood, Radcliffe also furiously denied speculation that her next child would be named ‘Nike’.
Thursday 24 June 2010
Tuesday 22 June 2010
NEWS ROUND-UP
Extraordinary times we may well live in. But you can count on the Echo to make sense of it all for you and bring you everything that's important in easily digestible snippets.............
BADDICK ADMITS CONCERN OVER BIG BROTHER DISTRACTION
Frank Baddick has said that he is finding it “increasingly difficult” to remain focussed on running whilst the final series of Big Brother is on air. The Newham and Essex Beagle has conceded that he has spent “many late nights” watching a live feed from the house and has been known to leave sessions early in order to make it home in time for the highlights. “I guess I just feel that this is it for Big Brother,” sighed a perplexed Baddick from his weekly press conference, “after this series, it will all be over. I don’t want to look back on this summer and wonder whether I should have appreciated it more.” Baddick has been a long time fan of the show and stuck with it even through the rocky ride that was the ‘snooze-fest’ of series 4. “I always knew it would be back,” said Baddick, “and look at how we were rewarded- many people say that series 5 was the best ever.” The 3:42 1500m man, who has struggled for form this year, also said that with the end of Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters, his summer of television was looking increasingly bare. “I do worry,” said the 25 year old, “there was no Apprentice this year and I think that channels should look at how rubbish their summer schedules are. I don’t know what I would do if it weren’t for Big Brother.”
GANDY PONDERS FA OFFER
George Gandy has revealed that he is “seriously considering” an offer from the Football Association to take over as the England boss with immediate effect. The revelation comes after a difficult week for Fabio ‘not as scary as CVC’ Capello with senior players openly mocking his team selection. John Terry, the sacked England captain, said that he was “hugely excited” at the prospect of working with the athletics guru and David Beckham argued that Gandy was the “only option” left for England if they are to win the World Cup. The FA have publicly denied the speculation, but an insider revealed that they were “very impressed” with Gandy’s capacity to control unruly members of his squad. “It’s become clear to everyone here [at the FA] that Mr. Capello has lost the dressing room,” said our source, “we have to think of the future and are sure that Mr. Gandy would never be foolish enough to do such a thing. We know that he has a very good track record in not losing dressing rooms.” Whilst critics have pointed out that it would be very difficult for Gandy to lose the LSAC dressing room as his temporary office is right next to it, his track record at Loughborough cannot be disputed. A lifelong Newcastle United fan, Gandy has pledged that he would “paint the squad black and white” if he were to take over. However, UKA have said that they will not “under any circumstances” release Gandy from his contract. “It’s out of the question,” said a source, “George is doing a great job for us and he is staying put. This is typical from the FA, trying to employ bullying tactics to get their way- pathetic.” Despite this, our source within the FA has said that his employers will "do anything" to get Gandy. "Contracts mean nothing," he said, "I know that we have even agreed that Alasdair Donaldson will be allowed to come and make Mr. Gandy's tea and so you can see how determined we are."
ANGER AT ‘GARISH’ AVIVA SIGNAGE
Many athletes at the U20/U23 AAAs Championships have complained that the yellow used in the Aviva advertising boards was “far too bright”. England Athletics officials are said to be in last ditch talks with the Insurance company in a bid to avoid similar complaints at the senior championships. One unnamed U20 1500m athlete has said that it “undoubtedly cost him a medal” despite crashing out in his heat, whilst a young sprinter claimed that the brightness caused him to be disqualified in the 200m. For their part, Aviva have been unrepentant stating that athletes really need to “get over themselves.” Speaking at an insurance industry function, a senior executive said that he had “deliberately chosen” yellow in order to “upset as many athletes as possible”. Whilst ordering a third bottle of wine, the top man said “everything we do is all about ruining the races of British athletes. This way, they are ready for failure at a top level.” England Athletics officials have said that they are “disappointed” with the remarks and have pledged to “do all they can” to minimise upset at the forthcoming senior event. “We know that Ryan McLeod is sensitive and so will have to be really careful here,” said an insider, “we don’t want fisty-cuffs again.”
BADDICK ADMITS CONCERN OVER BIG BROTHER DISTRACTION
Frank Baddick has said that he is finding it “increasingly difficult” to remain focussed on running whilst the final series of Big Brother is on air. The Newham and Essex Beagle has conceded that he has spent “many late nights” watching a live feed from the house and has been known to leave sessions early in order to make it home in time for the highlights. “I guess I just feel that this is it for Big Brother,” sighed a perplexed Baddick from his weekly press conference, “after this series, it will all be over. I don’t want to look back on this summer and wonder whether I should have appreciated it more.” Baddick has been a long time fan of the show and stuck with it even through the rocky ride that was the ‘snooze-fest’ of series 4. “I always knew it would be back,” said Baddick, “and look at how we were rewarded- many people say that series 5 was the best ever.” The 3:42 1500m man, who has struggled for form this year, also said that with the end of Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters, his summer of television was looking increasingly bare. “I do worry,” said the 25 year old, “there was no Apprentice this year and I think that channels should look at how rubbish their summer schedules are. I don’t know what I would do if it weren’t for Big Brother.”
GANDY PONDERS FA OFFER
George Gandy has revealed that he is “seriously considering” an offer from the Football Association to take over as the England boss with immediate effect. The revelation comes after a difficult week for Fabio ‘not as scary as CVC’ Capello with senior players openly mocking his team selection. John Terry, the sacked England captain, said that he was “hugely excited” at the prospect of working with the athletics guru and David Beckham argued that Gandy was the “only option” left for England if they are to win the World Cup. The FA have publicly denied the speculation, but an insider revealed that they were “very impressed” with Gandy’s capacity to control unruly members of his squad. “It’s become clear to everyone here [at the FA] that Mr. Capello has lost the dressing room,” said our source, “we have to think of the future and are sure that Mr. Gandy would never be foolish enough to do such a thing. We know that he has a very good track record in not losing dressing rooms.” Whilst critics have pointed out that it would be very difficult for Gandy to lose the LSAC dressing room as his temporary office is right next to it, his track record at Loughborough cannot be disputed. A lifelong Newcastle United fan, Gandy has pledged that he would “paint the squad black and white” if he were to take over. However, UKA have said that they will not “under any circumstances” release Gandy from his contract. “It’s out of the question,” said a source, “George is doing a great job for us and he is staying put. This is typical from the FA, trying to employ bullying tactics to get their way- pathetic.” Despite this, our source within the FA has said that his employers will "do anything" to get Gandy. "Contracts mean nothing," he said, "I know that we have even agreed that Alasdair Donaldson will be allowed to come and make Mr. Gandy's tea and so you can see how determined we are."
ANGER AT ‘GARISH’ AVIVA SIGNAGE
Many athletes at the U20/U23 AAAs Championships have complained that the yellow used in the Aviva advertising boards was “far too bright”. England Athletics officials are said to be in last ditch talks with the Insurance company in a bid to avoid similar complaints at the senior championships. One unnamed U20 1500m athlete has said that it “undoubtedly cost him a medal” despite crashing out in his heat, whilst a young sprinter claimed that the brightness caused him to be disqualified in the 200m. For their part, Aviva have been unrepentant stating that athletes really need to “get over themselves.” Speaking at an insurance industry function, a senior executive said that he had “deliberately chosen” yellow in order to “upset as many athletes as possible”. Whilst ordering a third bottle of wine, the top man said “everything we do is all about ruining the races of British athletes. This way, they are ready for failure at a top level.” England Athletics officials have said that they are “disappointed” with the remarks and have pledged to “do all they can” to minimise upset at the forthcoming senior event. “We know that Ryan McLeod is sensitive and so will have to be really careful here,” said an insider, “we don’t want fisty-cuffs again.”
Monday 21 June 2010
VAN COMMENEE “SCARIER THAN CAPELLO” SHOCK
ICE MAN: Van Commenee is famed for his deathly stare of disapproval
Charles Van Commenee has been branded as “downright frightening” by several leading British athletes as they return home from Norway and the European Team Championships. Dwain Chambers described a “look that could kill a thousand elephants” when the sprint ace was spotted using a mobile telephone at the dinner table. “He grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and marched me outside,” said the Belgrave man, “I have never been so terrified. He didn’t even say anything and just looked at me like the Demon Headmaster.” Elsewhere, Emily Freeman said that she was “losing sleep” at the thought of letting Van Commenee down. “I can’t think straight when I am around him,” said the 200m Olympic Semi-Finalist, “I think it’s those glasses, they just make you shiver.” Despite the official line emerging from the Team GB camp that Chris Thompson was ruled out through illness, insiders have revealed that it was actually because of a major bust up with the UKA performance chief. “Chris was sent home,” confirmed a camp insider, “he called Mr. Van Commenee ‘CVC’ and then there was a very big argument. I saw Chris emerge from the meeting in tears and then went straight to the airport.” This is not the first time that somebody has made such a gaffe. Steve Lewis was forced to apologise to the supremo after failing to register a legal height and was accused of mumbling the ‘Van’ portion of the name. Sources have said that Lewis was forced to write out Mr. Van Commenee’s name 1,000 times before being allowed to eat his supper of dried toast and water.
When asked about his demeanour by some fearless (and now barred) journalists, Van Commenee said that he had to “up his game” in the scary stakes as Fabio Capello was “hogging all the attention”. “He [Capello] thinks that by forcing everyone to eat together and banning the WAGs, he is some kind of hero,” snapped Van Commenee, “well, how many of his players has he made cry? How many letters from parents has he had?” Independent observers have confirmed that it is “very likely” that the Dutchman has a greater capacity to scare that Don Fabio. The Court of Arbitration for Sport have twice warned Van Commenee over his “intimidating behaviour” after many athletes complained that they felt “unduly stressed” in his presence. A spokesman for CAS revealed that the UKA top man would have received a firmer punishment but he succeeded in "terrifying" the entire panel of independent judges.
Sunday 20 June 2010
TEAM GB IN CRISIS AFTER STRING OF BUST UPS
UK Athletics have been keen to play down what some are calling the "biggest crisis in the history of British sport". Officials were hurriedly flown to Norway late last night amid fears that some of the nation's best athletes were on the brink of a mass walk out from the European Team Championships. Insiders have told of a "massive row" between team captain Mo Farah and long jumper Chris Tomlinson over what is fast becoming known as 'TV-Gate' and anger has also been expressed at Charles Van Commonee's decision to remove all mobile telephones from the athletes. "Chris and Mo fell out when Tommo [Tomlinson] couldn't work the tele," said a source close to both athletes, "we missed most of the first half because Tommo insisted on watching the Big Brother eviction." Farah was said to be fuming when Tomlinson demanded a front row seat for the entire game, despite pledging a swap at half time. Farah's official spokesman said that his charge was also upset at the "repulsive" accommodation. "I told Mo that he is going to have to tough it out this time," said the spokesman, "he was heavily criticised when he skipped the World Cross after party".
Van Commonee has caused a great deal of unrest after confiscating the mobile phones of all the athletes and banned them from access to "any fun whatsoever". Defending his decision, the bespectacled chief said "all smiling is banned. Even if they do well. Athletes have been having way too much fun in this country and that has to stop." This decision has caused outcry with many athletes slamming the treatment as "barbaric". An unnamed female athlete said that she was "unlikely to perform well in such a horrific, slave-like environment. It's like prison, pure and simple." It is thought that a coup organised by Dwain Chambers only failed when he inadvertently got the timings wrong- completely misunderstanding the time difference in Norway.
Elsewhere, Colin McCourt has been isolated by his team mates when he chose to wear an Algeria shirt on Friday evening. The Scot clashed violently with Martyn Rooney, who attempted to rip the shirt off his back after the England football team had failed to impress in the World Cup. McCourt was heard to be singing into the early hours and it was only when Ian Stewart told him something so awful that we cannot report it, that he went to bed.
UKA will no doubt be hoping for a quieter end to the Championships today, but with vaulter Steve Lewis having yet another argument with his pole after no-heighting, it looks like wishful thinking.
Van Commonee has caused a great deal of unrest after confiscating the mobile phones of all the athletes and banned them from access to "any fun whatsoever". Defending his decision, the bespectacled chief said "all smiling is banned. Even if they do well. Athletes have been having way too much fun in this country and that has to stop." This decision has caused outcry with many athletes slamming the treatment as "barbaric". An unnamed female athlete said that she was "unlikely to perform well in such a horrific, slave-like environment. It's like prison, pure and simple." It is thought that a coup organised by Dwain Chambers only failed when he inadvertently got the timings wrong- completely misunderstanding the time difference in Norway.
Elsewhere, Colin McCourt has been isolated by his team mates when he chose to wear an Algeria shirt on Friday evening. The Scot clashed violently with Martyn Rooney, who attempted to rip the shirt off his back after the England football team had failed to impress in the World Cup. McCourt was heard to be singing into the early hours and it was only when Ian Stewart told him something so awful that we cannot report it, that he went to bed.
UKA will no doubt be hoping for a quieter end to the Championships today, but with vaulter Steve Lewis having yet another argument with his pole after no-heighting, it looks like wishful thinking.
Saturday 19 June 2010
POWER OF 10 FORCED TO REMOVE ATHLETE PROFILE
The Power of Ten, who are responsible for recording all performances in track and field in the UK have confirmed that they have removed the profile of a well known athlete after he/she complained. Website insiders have revealed that they were "scared for their credibility" after threatening comments filtered back to them from the athlete in question. "As a result, we are unable to even confirm the sex of the complainer," the source continued going on to describe the behaviour as "petty and ridiculous". It is thought that the unnamed, but supposedly "prominent" star felt that others may be laughing at his/her recent performances (or lack of them) behind his/her back. The move has angered many as he/she did not use "official channels" to lodge the complaint. "I only heard about it when a friend phoned me in the early hours of the morning," explained a website supremo, "obviously we had to take immediate action, but cannot understand the issue here." It seems that threats were issued via the usage of the popular running forum, Eightlane and then directly to pals of the Power of Ten head honchos.
UKA officials have said that they are "disappointed" with the decision on both levels. Speaking exclusively to the Lufbra Echo, endurance chief Ian Stewart said, "there's no f*****g place for athletes who take themselves so f*****g seriously. At the end of the f*****g day, everyone f*****g needs to toughen the f**k up. I must f*****g say that I would have left the f*****g profile on the f*****g site- f*****g cowards!" Stewart, who was speaking from the European Team Championships in Norway had to then break off the interview in order to claim some drinks on expenses.
UKA officials have said that they are "disappointed" with the decision on both levels. Speaking exclusively to the Lufbra Echo, endurance chief Ian Stewart said, "there's no f*****g place for athletes who take themselves so f*****g seriously. At the end of the f*****g day, everyone f*****g needs to toughen the f**k up. I must f*****g say that I would have left the f*****g profile on the f*****g site- f*****g cowards!" Stewart, who was speaking from the European Team Championships in Norway had to then break off the interview in order to claim some drinks on expenses.
Friday 18 June 2010
IMPORTANT ECHO STATEMENT
Recent developments have prompted the following statement to be released by our management:
The Lufbra Echo is not intended to upset anyone. Recently it has become clear that some individuals have taken exception to certain aspects of this site. In accordance with their wishes these articles have now been removed and we sincerely apologise for any offence that may have been caused. We would like to re-iterate what is said at the bottom of this web page- we write to poke fun at the world of athletics and not to offend people. There is an email address that people can use in order to voice their concerns. If you are unhappy with anything that has been said about you, please use that and the material will be removed immediately with no questions asked. This is more appropriate than relying on the childish use of other websites and issuing threats via word of mouth- instantaneous action will be achieved. Once again we would like to apologise to those who have been offended by anything that has appeared on here and hope that fans will continue to enjoy our work.
ECHO TEAM,
18th June 2010
The Lufbra Echo is not intended to upset anyone. Recently it has become clear that some individuals have taken exception to certain aspects of this site. In accordance with their wishes these articles have now been removed and we sincerely apologise for any offence that may have been caused. We would like to re-iterate what is said at the bottom of this web page- we write to poke fun at the world of athletics and not to offend people. There is an email address that people can use in order to voice their concerns. If you are unhappy with anything that has been said about you, please use that and the material will be removed immediately with no questions asked. This is more appropriate than relying on the childish use of other websites and issuing threats via word of mouth- instantaneous action will be achieved. Once again we would like to apologise to those who have been offended by anything that has appeared on here and hope that fans will continue to enjoy our work.
ECHO TEAM,
18th June 2010
Thursday 17 June 2010
NEWS ROUND-UP
SCRATCHING HEAD ‘ADDS 10% T0 PERFORMANCE’: REPORT
A research project seen by the Lufbra Echo has told of how scratching your head in a “rhythmic circular motion” can increase performance in a 5km running trial by as much as 10%. Researchers at the University of North Dunstable have hailed “a great day for performance sport” and UK Athletics are said to be drafting up new guidelines for distribution to performance centres across the country. The paper- which has yet to be published- concludes that endurance athletes should scratch their heads in the hours immediately prior to performance. “We found that three hours before a race or significant workout was the best time,” said Prof. N. O. Sense who headed up the team, “scratching athletes reported feeling less pain, less fatigue and more vigour than a control group.” The scratchers seemingly also performed far better with quicker times being consistently recorded. It was not all good news however, as the technique was shown to have “no significant effect” on sprint performance. “If anything [performance] declined,” said N. O. Sense, “we are unsure why, but think it likely that the sprinters struggled with the complexities of using the circular motion.” Bad news too for all nose pickers out there as a regular practice of picking one’s nose had “only a small effect” on an athlete’s ability to breathe. “That was disappointing,” said N. O. Sense, “but at least we know where to focus our energy now.” The research team dismissed suggestions that doing a little extra mileage could have a positive impact on running performance. “What utter nonsense,” thundered a senior researcher, “we really haven’t got time to entertain such ridiculous ideas.”
WATFORD TRACK ‘NOT SHORT’: UKA
UK Athletics have reacted angrily to suggestions that the Watford track is short by 2 metres. The accusations came on popular running forums Eightlane and Letsrun after several athletes were seen to run faster than they were “capable of”. “Clearly short,” harrumphed one Eightlaner, “uka reely need to sought this out. How cum all these peepel suddenely run pbs? [sic]”. An insider at the Governing Body revealed that an official track measurer had been called in and confirmed that it had been given the all clear. “Ben Green kindly looked it up on Google Earth,” revealed our source, “and on the third time through it came up at exactly the right distance. If anything it’s long.” Meanwhile, the BMC have confirmed that all times from the recent Grand Prix held at the stadium will stand. This news comes despite widespread anger that video evidence suggested that some times (taken by the official time keepers) were clearly wrong. A spokesman said, “we can’t go around changing times on the whim of a few disgruntled slow coaches.” It was added that there were no plans to “just make the times up” at the next Grand Prix.
A research project seen by the Lufbra Echo has told of how scratching your head in a “rhythmic circular motion” can increase performance in a 5km running trial by as much as 10%. Researchers at the University of North Dunstable have hailed “a great day for performance sport” and UK Athletics are said to be drafting up new guidelines for distribution to performance centres across the country. The paper- which has yet to be published- concludes that endurance athletes should scratch their heads in the hours immediately prior to performance. “We found that three hours before a race or significant workout was the best time,” said Prof. N. O. Sense who headed up the team, “scratching athletes reported feeling less pain, less fatigue and more vigour than a control group.” The scratchers seemingly also performed far better with quicker times being consistently recorded. It was not all good news however, as the technique was shown to have “no significant effect” on sprint performance. “If anything [performance] declined,” said N. O. Sense, “we are unsure why, but think it likely that the sprinters struggled with the complexities of using the circular motion.” Bad news too for all nose pickers out there as a regular practice of picking one’s nose had “only a small effect” on an athlete’s ability to breathe. “That was disappointing,” said N. O. Sense, “but at least we know where to focus our energy now.” The research team dismissed suggestions that doing a little extra mileage could have a positive impact on running performance. “What utter nonsense,” thundered a senior researcher, “we really haven’t got time to entertain such ridiculous ideas.”
WATFORD TRACK ‘NOT SHORT’: UKA
UK Athletics have reacted angrily to suggestions that the Watford track is short by 2 metres. The accusations came on popular running forums Eightlane and Letsrun after several athletes were seen to run faster than they were “capable of”. “Clearly short,” harrumphed one Eightlaner, “uka reely need to sought this out. How cum all these peepel suddenely run pbs? [sic]”. An insider at the Governing Body revealed that an official track measurer had been called in and confirmed that it had been given the all clear. “Ben Green kindly looked it up on Google Earth,” revealed our source, “and on the third time through it came up at exactly the right distance. If anything it’s long.” Meanwhile, the BMC have confirmed that all times from the recent Grand Prix held at the stadium will stand. This news comes despite widespread anger that video evidence suggested that some times (taken by the official time keepers) were clearly wrong. A spokesman said, “we can’t go around changing times on the whim of a few disgruntled slow coaches.” It was added that there were no plans to “just make the times up” at the next Grand Prix.
Tuesday 15 June 2010
ATHLETE LOSES BRAIN CELL SHOCK
An unnamed male athlete has parted company with his only remaining brain cell, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The brain cell stormed out of ‘clear the air’ talks with the athlete late last night and revealed in a press conference this lunchtime that it has no intention of returning. Citing “ridiculous levels” of work, the brain cell had demanded that contract re-negotiations “fairly reflect” its increased burden. The distance runner is understood to be currently loaning a brain cell from a close pal, whilst the recruitment process for a permanent replacement gets underway.
The now retired 1500m man was known to be a hard task master of his brain cells and many walked out in disgust when he mustered all his energy to pass his undergraduate degree in five years- claiming to have written “10,000 words [of his dissertation] in 24 hours”. At the time, the Brain Cell Union demanded an apology from the athlete, stating that he had placed “unreasonable expectations” on his already diminished brain cell stock. It is thought that the completion of another university course and “other interests” has forced this brave final brain cell to the edge. “It was all too much” sobbed the cell from its press conference, “my employer was just being unreasonable- he was out every night and then we were up all hours trying to complete assignments. I can’t and won’t work like that.” The brain cell recollected “painful partings” with many of its friends as brain cell after brain cell stormed out on the ex-athlete. “I made so many friends, and it isn’t nice when they are treated so badly that they have to live on brain cell support,” it continued, “I would advise any other cells against even contemplating working for this awful man.”
The difficult history this athlete has had with brain cells was no more underlined than when the cell in charge of ‘language and basic communication’ downed tools and left six years ago. Since then, a string of agency cells were brought in to try and fill the void, but sources close to the Cell Recruitment and Intelligence Society (CRIS) told of how all temporary cells kept refusing to take the work on. “In the end,” said an insider, “we had to ask the client to look elsewhere. It seems that he can’t recruit any brain cells at all now. It is most sad”.
The now retired 1500m man was known to be a hard task master of his brain cells and many walked out in disgust when he mustered all his energy to pass his undergraduate degree in five years- claiming to have written “10,000 words [of his dissertation] in 24 hours”. At the time, the Brain Cell Union demanded an apology from the athlete, stating that he had placed “unreasonable expectations” on his already diminished brain cell stock. It is thought that the completion of another university course and “other interests” has forced this brave final brain cell to the edge. “It was all too much” sobbed the cell from its press conference, “my employer was just being unreasonable- he was out every night and then we were up all hours trying to complete assignments. I can’t and won’t work like that.” The brain cell recollected “painful partings” with many of its friends as brain cell after brain cell stormed out on the ex-athlete. “I made so many friends, and it isn’t nice when they are treated so badly that they have to live on brain cell support,” it continued, “I would advise any other cells against even contemplating working for this awful man.”
The difficult history this athlete has had with brain cells was no more underlined than when the cell in charge of ‘language and basic communication’ downed tools and left six years ago. Since then, a string of agency cells were brought in to try and fill the void, but sources close to the Cell Recruitment and Intelligence Society (CRIS) told of how all temporary cells kept refusing to take the work on. “In the end,” said an insider, “we had to ask the client to look elsewhere. It seems that he can’t recruit any brain cells at all now. It is most sad”.
Sunday 13 June 2010
WATFORD BMC ROUND UP......
ANGER AS McCORMICK WEARS DATED KIT
Nick McCormick is likely to face the wrath of Nike executives early next week after he wore last year’s kit at yesterday evening’s Watford Grand Prix. Shocked bystanders watched the North East star line up in the 800m ‘D’ race- where he expressed his anger at having to share a lane. One said, “Nick was clearly upset at being made to share the territory. I think he must have forgotten to change into this year’s new style.” However, insiders have revealed more sinister goings on. It appears that Mr. McCormick “does not like” the new kit as it does not suit his new haircut. “He hates it,” said a source, “when it was delivered he threw it on the ground in disgust. I doubt he will wear it at all this season.” No one was available for comment at Nike this evening, but it seems likely that their athlete will be forced to explain himself. One anonymous source at the sporting giant said that the cut off for the old kit fell on Thursday. “All athletes will have been sent a memo urging them to destroy their old vests and shorts on the 10th June,” said the senior aide, “it was made clear that old kit will no longer be tolerated.” McCormick was racing in the UK for the first time this season, after a period of enforced exile owing to his “horrifically short” hair cut. Speaking afterwards, he revealed that it was “still in the balance” as to whether he would be allowed to compete at the Crystal Palace Diamond League next month. “I reckon it [the hair] will grow enough by then,” said the 3:33 1500m man, “it really comes down to whether I want to spend a significant period of time in the hell hole that it Crystal Palace.”
McLEOD UNNERVED BY BOO-BOYS
Ryan McLeod ventured out in public for the first time since his major bust up with bitter rival Tom Russell. The Tipton Harrier opted to pace make the 5,000m ‘A’ race, but his name was greeted by a chorus of boos from the stands. Despite pleas from officials to show him the respect he deserved, McLeod had to endure repeated insults from angered West Country folk- the Metropolitan Police have revealed that a total of three individuals were arrested for “public order offenses.” It is unlikely that any of the three will be charged. In the race itself, it became clear from the start that McLeod was not himself. As early as the second lap, he was attempting to usher chasing athletes though to “share the pace”. It was not until a BMC official reminded him that he was being paid to lead the race, that the 13:54 man settled down. The damage to Luke Cragg’s race was done however and the US based man was furious after his race. “You expect better than that,” harrumphed the England international, “I saw Ryan pacing the locker room before and could see he was freaked out by the situation. When I debrief him, he’ll know what I think.”
TIMEKEEPING WRONG: EIGHTLANE
Distraught Eightlaners have called for immediate action after watching videos of several of last night’s races. “BMC please read this, watch the video and sort the results out,” pleaded ‘1500 result?’, whilst his/her/its presumed brother/sister/other life form, ‘1500m results’ supported the view, “not great time keeping”. It seems much of the evidence base for the allegations stems from video footage that has been placed on the internet. In light of such overwhelmingly clear (as long as you have it up on a very fast bandwidth and ignore the glitches) evidence will result in the timekeepers who were standing directly in line with the finish being overturned? ‘1500 result?’ certainly hopes so-“there is something seriously wrong with this [1500m ‘A’ race] result- look at 10th, 11th, 12th and 13th position.” Regrettably, Mr ‘1500 result?’ appears not to have all of his facts in line, “Luke Gunn dips someone on the line, who I assume is the Dutch athlete but he’s 0.2 behind on the result”. Outrageous! An unnamed athlete may or may not have beaten Luke Gunn and this may or may not be clear from the video. Court of Arbitration for Sport here we come!
Nick McCormick is likely to face the wrath of Nike executives early next week after he wore last year’s kit at yesterday evening’s Watford Grand Prix. Shocked bystanders watched the North East star line up in the 800m ‘D’ race- where he expressed his anger at having to share a lane. One said, “Nick was clearly upset at being made to share the territory. I think he must have forgotten to change into this year’s new style.” However, insiders have revealed more sinister goings on. It appears that Mr. McCormick “does not like” the new kit as it does not suit his new haircut. “He hates it,” said a source, “when it was delivered he threw it on the ground in disgust. I doubt he will wear it at all this season.” No one was available for comment at Nike this evening, but it seems likely that their athlete will be forced to explain himself. One anonymous source at the sporting giant said that the cut off for the old kit fell on Thursday. “All athletes will have been sent a memo urging them to destroy their old vests and shorts on the 10th June,” said the senior aide, “it was made clear that old kit will no longer be tolerated.” McCormick was racing in the UK for the first time this season, after a period of enforced exile owing to his “horrifically short” hair cut. Speaking afterwards, he revealed that it was “still in the balance” as to whether he would be allowed to compete at the Crystal Palace Diamond League next month. “I reckon it [the hair] will grow enough by then,” said the 3:33 1500m man, “it really comes down to whether I want to spend a significant period of time in the hell hole that it Crystal Palace.”
McLEOD UNNERVED BY BOO-BOYS
Ryan McLeod ventured out in public for the first time since his major bust up with bitter rival Tom Russell. The Tipton Harrier opted to pace make the 5,000m ‘A’ race, but his name was greeted by a chorus of boos from the stands. Despite pleas from officials to show him the respect he deserved, McLeod had to endure repeated insults from angered West Country folk- the Metropolitan Police have revealed that a total of three individuals were arrested for “public order offenses.” It is unlikely that any of the three will be charged. In the race itself, it became clear from the start that McLeod was not himself. As early as the second lap, he was attempting to usher chasing athletes though to “share the pace”. It was not until a BMC official reminded him that he was being paid to lead the race, that the 13:54 man settled down. The damage to Luke Cragg’s race was done however and the US based man was furious after his race. “You expect better than that,” harrumphed the England international, “I saw Ryan pacing the locker room before and could see he was freaked out by the situation. When I debrief him, he’ll know what I think.”
TIMEKEEPING WRONG: EIGHTLANE
Distraught Eightlaners have called for immediate action after watching videos of several of last night’s races. “BMC please read this, watch the video and sort the results out,” pleaded ‘1500 result?’, whilst his/her/its presumed brother/sister/other life form, ‘1500m results’ supported the view, “not great time keeping”. It seems much of the evidence base for the allegations stems from video footage that has been placed on the internet. In light of such overwhelmingly clear (as long as you have it up on a very fast bandwidth and ignore the glitches) evidence will result in the timekeepers who were standing directly in line with the finish being overturned? ‘1500 result?’ certainly hopes so-“there is something seriously wrong with this [1500m ‘A’ race] result- look at 10th, 11th, 12th and 13th position.” Regrettably, Mr ‘1500 result?’ appears not to have all of his facts in line, “Luke Gunn dips someone on the line, who I assume is the Dutch athlete but he’s 0.2 behind on the result”. Outrageous! An unnamed athlete may or may not have beaten Luke Gunn and this may or may not be clear from the video. Court of Arbitration for Sport here we come!
Saturday 12 June 2010
ATHLETICS COULD IN SOME WAY BE A LITTLE LIKE THE WORLD CUP SHOCK
BANDWAGON: The Echo would never think of jumping on one
In line with much of the media at the moment- not least Athletics' own Athletics Weekly- we are going to diligently list the 11 ways in which Track and Field can be compared to the Football World Cup.
1. ROONEY: Well, it doesn't take a genius to work out that England's Wayne shares his name with the far more famous Martyn- Team GB's heroic Olympic finalist.
2. PENALTY SHOOT-OUT: In some ways, the relays can be seen as a bit of a penalty shoot-out. We spend a lot of money on them but are still absolutely hopeless.
3. DELUSION: 'England are going to win the World Cup.' Much in the same way that Andy Baddeley is going to break the World 1500m record.
4. RUNNING: Footballers run. Coincidently so do athletes.
5. CAPELLO: Is the Echo alone in thinking that Sir Fabio (won't be long) looks quite a lot like the far more famous UKA Director of everything except endurance, Charles Van Commenee?
6. USAIN BOLT: ....likes football. Therefore it must be cool.
7. WATFORD BMC: The plucky BMC are directly competing with the England match tonight. ITV are understood to be offering a 'split screen' service to customers via the red button.
8. SCOTLAND: Are as terrible at football as they are at athletics.
9. GOLD: The World Cup is gold. Isn't it amazing that athletes chase gold medals in the Olympics as well?
10. THE FA: Nearly as useless UKA....but not quite.
11. SPONSORSHIP: Sponsors love World Cup. So we at the Echo would like to declare our love for the competition. It's great, isn't it? How a well read blog like this one can be so clearly linked to this multi-billion pound market? I am sure that lots of people would buy a product that was endorsed on a site that may possibly have exclusive coverage of the way in which athletics is a lot like football (or soccer if you are an American company). Not that a site would ever sell out like that.
Friday 11 June 2010
WORLD EXCLUSIVE: ISINBAYEVA- WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
Echo reveals how a fight with her pole could spell the end for the greatest vaulter of all time
HAPPIER TIMES: Isinbayeva declared her love for the pole as recently as last year
The World Record holder for the women's pole vault has not resumed competition this season after an argument with her pole, the Lufbra Echo can reveal. Yelena Isinbayeva has "not even looked" at her pole since it badly let her down at the back end of last season. In an exclusive interview, the Russian told of how the pole simply "wasn't giving anything back anymore." "Everyone knows I always speak to it [the pole]," said a tearful Isinbayeva, "well in that event [IAAF World Athletics Final], it just wasn't behaving like normal. It's almost as if it had something to hide."
Insiders at the Russian Federation of Athletics described an "almighty row" between Isinbayeva and her equipment after "no heighting" at the Berlin World Championships. An anonymous ex-KGB source said, "Yelena was furious. She spent several hours ranting and raving at the pole. There was no reply. In the end, I think she smashed a bottle of vodka over it." Close friends of the star are said to be "gravely concerned" at the recent developments. A neighbour said, "we have asked her to seek counselling to try and build bridges, but she won't. She seems so upset since it all happened." Another close friend revealed that the issues had been underlying for sometime. "It's so sad," revealed the now exiled Russian spy, "they seemed so happy together- but there have been problems. I know that Yelena had some doubts about the pole's fidelity after reading some texts."
Other vaulters have been known to have issues with their poles. British number one, Steve Lewis recently courted criticism after deciding to part company with his. Lewis informed his pole of the split via email and many Loughborough insiders have said that this was unfair. "Steve just upped sticks and left," said a senior aide to Ian Anholm, "I think he was upset after the Loughborough International. As you can imagine, the pole and everyone else has taken it badly."
Meanwhile, Isinbayeva has said that she "does not know" when she will be back competing. "It's like I am in limbo" said the multi-millionaire, "I can't bring myself to move on and find another pole yet. There might be some hope- maybe we can get back together. I don't know- the ball is in his [the pole's] court."
HAPPIER TIMES: Isinbayeva declared her love for the pole as recently as last year
The World Record holder for the women's pole vault has not resumed competition this season after an argument with her pole, the Lufbra Echo can reveal. Yelena Isinbayeva has "not even looked" at her pole since it badly let her down at the back end of last season. In an exclusive interview, the Russian told of how the pole simply "wasn't giving anything back anymore." "Everyone knows I always speak to it [the pole]," said a tearful Isinbayeva, "well in that event [IAAF World Athletics Final], it just wasn't behaving like normal. It's almost as if it had something to hide."
Insiders at the Russian Federation of Athletics described an "almighty row" between Isinbayeva and her equipment after "no heighting" at the Berlin World Championships. An anonymous ex-KGB source said, "Yelena was furious. She spent several hours ranting and raving at the pole. There was no reply. In the end, I think she smashed a bottle of vodka over it." Close friends of the star are said to be "gravely concerned" at the recent developments. A neighbour said, "we have asked her to seek counselling to try and build bridges, but she won't. She seems so upset since it all happened." Another close friend revealed that the issues had been underlying for sometime. "It's so sad," revealed the now exiled Russian spy, "they seemed so happy together- but there have been problems. I know that Yelena had some doubts about the pole's fidelity after reading some texts."
Other vaulters have been known to have issues with their poles. British number one, Steve Lewis recently courted criticism after deciding to part company with his. Lewis informed his pole of the split via email and many Loughborough insiders have said that this was unfair. "Steve just upped sticks and left," said a senior aide to Ian Anholm, "I think he was upset after the Loughborough International. As you can imagine, the pole and everyone else has taken it badly."
Meanwhile, Isinbayeva has said that she "does not know" when she will be back competing. "It's like I am in limbo" said the multi-millionaire, "I can't bring myself to move on and find another pole yet. There might be some hope- maybe we can get back together. I don't know- the ball is in his [the pole's] court."
Wednesday 9 June 2010
THE ANDREW LEMONCELLO DIARIES.....
Every Wednesday, the Echo will now be taking a sneaky peek into the diaries of some of our nation’s best. This week, it’s Britain’s new revelation over the marathon- Andrew Lemoncello.
Monday 24th May
Woke up early this morning and got a run in- 12 miles at marathon pace. I was really disappointed with the level of support offered by passers-by. It was like no one was interested that I was running and they all seemed miserable to me. It reminded me of London, where the crowd support was the worst I have ever seen and certainly cost me at least 3 minutes. The run itself was fine and when I got in, I had my standard glass of lemon squash and listened to my favourite cello music.
The afternoon was spent interviewing for a new cleaner! I have come to the decision that I just do not have the time to be cleaning my house anymore. Unfortunately, I was not able to appoint on this occasion, as I didn’t feel the interviewee would be very supportive when I made my lunch. Despite this lack of support, managed to get an easy 8 mile run in this evening.
Tuesday 25th May
Decided against running today as I felt that I was not giving myself enough support. It is hard to motivate yourself in an environment like that and so then it is best just not to run rather than risk underperforming. Actually spent the day clothes shopping! I tried on various outfits before settling on one in Gap. I then bought four exactly the same, to avoid having to make difficult choices every morning. Was really disappointed with the lack of support offered when I asked for a discount.
Wednesday 26th May
Did 48 miles today, as my coach was really unsupportive when I told him that I had not run yesterday. I thought about it and opted to make all the miles up today so as to avoid difficult days ahead. Really struggled to get out of the house this morning as I couldn’t decide which pair of sunglasses to wear. I have some brand new Oakleys (which I didn’t use in London and that cost me over 2 minutes) but I also have some Ray Bans. In the end I went for an old pair of Nike ones as I just couldn’t make up my mind. After much thought, I decided not to wear my Garmin today.
Thursday 27th May
Didn’t run today as I was really tired for some reason. Can’t understand why. Went food shopping and no one seemed to know who I was. I find this odd as I was wearing my ‘LEMONCELLO’ bib from the London Marathon. Can Americans not read? I bought my usual shopping list, which includes 25 lemons and absolutely no oranges. I hate oranges they are by far the worst citrus fruit and I would encourage anyone to join my petition to get the Orange banned on Facebook.
Friday 28th May
Did 56 miles today, as I have been slacking a bit. This included a session, which went badly for some reason. Don’t know why, but I have decided to part company with my coach as a result. When he was shouting my splits on the track, there was no real support in there. It was almost as if he didn’t know that I was British! I was really tired after my evening run and so decided to relax by squeezing some lemons and throwing darts at my Mo Farah poster.
NEXT WEEK: Ryan McLeod.
Monday 24th May
Woke up early this morning and got a run in- 12 miles at marathon pace. I was really disappointed with the level of support offered by passers-by. It was like no one was interested that I was running and they all seemed miserable to me. It reminded me of London, where the crowd support was the worst I have ever seen and certainly cost me at least 3 minutes. The run itself was fine and when I got in, I had my standard glass of lemon squash and listened to my favourite cello music.
The afternoon was spent interviewing for a new cleaner! I have come to the decision that I just do not have the time to be cleaning my house anymore. Unfortunately, I was not able to appoint on this occasion, as I didn’t feel the interviewee would be very supportive when I made my lunch. Despite this lack of support, managed to get an easy 8 mile run in this evening.
Tuesday 25th May
Decided against running today as I felt that I was not giving myself enough support. It is hard to motivate yourself in an environment like that and so then it is best just not to run rather than risk underperforming. Actually spent the day clothes shopping! I tried on various outfits before settling on one in Gap. I then bought four exactly the same, to avoid having to make difficult choices every morning. Was really disappointed with the lack of support offered when I asked for a discount.
Wednesday 26th May
Did 48 miles today, as my coach was really unsupportive when I told him that I had not run yesterday. I thought about it and opted to make all the miles up today so as to avoid difficult days ahead. Really struggled to get out of the house this morning as I couldn’t decide which pair of sunglasses to wear. I have some brand new Oakleys (which I didn’t use in London and that cost me over 2 minutes) but I also have some Ray Bans. In the end I went for an old pair of Nike ones as I just couldn’t make up my mind. After much thought, I decided not to wear my Garmin today.
Thursday 27th May
Didn’t run today as I was really tired for some reason. Can’t understand why. Went food shopping and no one seemed to know who I was. I find this odd as I was wearing my ‘LEMONCELLO’ bib from the London Marathon. Can Americans not read? I bought my usual shopping list, which includes 25 lemons and absolutely no oranges. I hate oranges they are by far the worst citrus fruit and I would encourage anyone to join my petition to get the Orange banned on Facebook.
Friday 28th May
Did 56 miles today, as I have been slacking a bit. This included a session, which went badly for some reason. Don’t know why, but I have decided to part company with my coach as a result. When he was shouting my splits on the track, there was no real support in there. It was almost as if he didn’t know that I was British! I was really tired after my evening run and so decided to relax by squeezing some lemons and throwing darts at my Mo Farah poster.
NEXT WEEK: Ryan McLeod.
Tuesday 8 June 2010
NEWS IN BRIEF
DASAOLOU TO APLOGISE FOR ITALIAN RANT
Britain's next big sprinting hope, James Dasaolu, is being forced into an embarrassing U-Turn this morning after clashing with an Italian police officer. The 10.06 (wind assisted) man is currently on a training trip to Rome and is alleged to have "completely lost it" with the officer after being informed that his hire car was parked illegally. By-standers were left stunned as Dasaolu was restrained by close pal and training partner, Harry Aikines-Aryeetey. Dasaolu was particularly upset as the policeman in question had watched the two sprint aces take 20 minutes to maneuver the vehicle into the spot. This in itself brought a heated exchange between the two friends with Dasaolou branding Aikines-Aryeetey an "idiot" as his directions were unclear. One bystander has alleged that Dasaolu's car "clearly touched" another vehicle and it was at this point that the police officer had no option but to become involved. "It was quite funny," said Liverpudlian tourist Denise, "the smaller one [Dasaolou] was getting all upset because the bigger one [Aryeetey] kept doing press ups when he should have been directing him." UK Athletics have said that they will be insisting that their charge apologise to the Italian police generally after calling them "a bunch of corrupt losers who no one likes." Dasaolu, who is not known for his intelligence, is also thought to have injured himself by kicking what he thought was a football in a fit of rage. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a solid marble decorative boulder. A UKA insider has said that the injury is "not season threatening".
JONES TO SET UP CAKE SHOP
Disgraced American sprinter, Marion Jones, is to set up a cake shop in Los Angeles, the Lufbra Echo understands. The cakes, which will be "special brand", will be made by the sprinter herself in a joint venture with fellow dope, Justin Gatlin. Jones is rumoured to have "excelled" on a cookery course she took whilst serving time in prison for defrauding just about everybody she has ever met. However, doubt has been cast on her ability as a prison insider told of how she was disqualified from her final Cake Making Board Exams. "She stole some pre-made cakes from the kitchen," our source said, "and then rigorously denied the allegations. Her cakes never failed an authenticity test, but there was enough evidence to link her with the fraud." Weeks of rumours apparently led to a teary confession on the steps outside the infirmary, where Jones said that she had "let everyone down" particularly her beloved cell-mate Greta 'Biatch, the G-Dog', Griffiths. The Jones-Gatlin camp, have dismissed the allegations and are instead focusing on the "exciting venture" that the pair are currently working on. "We hope that people will either eat in or take out," said a spokesman, "they have decided to call it 'Clean Cakes' and hope that consumers see the irony." USA Track and Field have condemned the plans and warned all of their athletes not to frequent the establishment. LaShwan Merritt was thought to be involved in initial plans for the store, but was forced to pull out citing "little problems".
McLEOD IN BIRTHDAY GAFFE
Ryan McLeod celebrated his birthday 24 hours too early in what has been called a "pacing mix up". The Tipton Harrier turned 25 yesterday, but was seen out on Sunday evening celebrating with pals. One observer said, "someone went up to him and suggested that he was going too early and he [McLeod] just glared at him and said 'who do you think you are? Tom Russell?'" It was only in the early hours of the following morning that McLeod realised his blunder but by this time it was too late. "The damage had been done," sighed coach John Nutall, "Ryan tried to make it a true run birthday celebration, but it didn't work out- he was just too eager." It is rumoured that the 13:54 5k man was left "absolutely shattered" for his actual birthday evening. An insider said, "he had nothing left. He had been doing far too much of the work."
EMERY CONFIDENT AHEAD OF MIDLANDS TEST
Stephen Emery has revealed that he is "absolutely certain" that he will win the Midlands' 1500m title this weekend. The Coventry man suffered a blip last week at the BMC Sport City meeting, but claimed that "nobody, not even a cat on EPO" could touch him this weekend. "Sport City was Sport City. I think we all know that it was a joke there and that Gary [Bradbury] maliciously taunted me hair highlights before the race. I'm ready now- come and get me." Emery is likely to face stiff opposition from the likes of Tom Russell and Tim Dalton, but the 3:49 1500m man has had firm words for his rivals. "None of them have achieved what I have. I am the BUCS bronze medalist and showed my kicking ability in that race, so I know I can live with anything."
Britain's next big sprinting hope, James Dasaolu, is being forced into an embarrassing U-Turn this morning after clashing with an Italian police officer. The 10.06 (wind assisted) man is currently on a training trip to Rome and is alleged to have "completely lost it" with the officer after being informed that his hire car was parked illegally. By-standers were left stunned as Dasaolu was restrained by close pal and training partner, Harry Aikines-Aryeetey. Dasaolu was particularly upset as the policeman in question had watched the two sprint aces take 20 minutes to maneuver the vehicle into the spot. This in itself brought a heated exchange between the two friends with Dasaolou branding Aikines-Aryeetey an "idiot" as his directions were unclear. One bystander has alleged that Dasaolu's car "clearly touched" another vehicle and it was at this point that the police officer had no option but to become involved. "It was quite funny," said Liverpudlian tourist Denise, "the smaller one [Dasaolou] was getting all upset because the bigger one [Aryeetey] kept doing press ups when he should have been directing him." UK Athletics have said that they will be insisting that their charge apologise to the Italian police generally after calling them "a bunch of corrupt losers who no one likes." Dasaolu, who is not known for his intelligence, is also thought to have injured himself by kicking what he thought was a football in a fit of rage. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a solid marble decorative boulder. A UKA insider has said that the injury is "not season threatening".
JONES TO SET UP CAKE SHOP
Disgraced American sprinter, Marion Jones, is to set up a cake shop in Los Angeles, the Lufbra Echo understands. The cakes, which will be "special brand", will be made by the sprinter herself in a joint venture with fellow dope, Justin Gatlin. Jones is rumoured to have "excelled" on a cookery course she took whilst serving time in prison for defrauding just about everybody she has ever met. However, doubt has been cast on her ability as a prison insider told of how she was disqualified from her final Cake Making Board Exams. "She stole some pre-made cakes from the kitchen," our source said, "and then rigorously denied the allegations. Her cakes never failed an authenticity test, but there was enough evidence to link her with the fraud." Weeks of rumours apparently led to a teary confession on the steps outside the infirmary, where Jones said that she had "let everyone down" particularly her beloved cell-mate Greta 'Biatch, the G-Dog', Griffiths. The Jones-Gatlin camp, have dismissed the allegations and are instead focusing on the "exciting venture" that the pair are currently working on. "We hope that people will either eat in or take out," said a spokesman, "they have decided to call it 'Clean Cakes' and hope that consumers see the irony." USA Track and Field have condemned the plans and warned all of their athletes not to frequent the establishment. LaShwan Merritt was thought to be involved in initial plans for the store, but was forced to pull out citing "little problems".
McLEOD IN BIRTHDAY GAFFE
Ryan McLeod celebrated his birthday 24 hours too early in what has been called a "pacing mix up". The Tipton Harrier turned 25 yesterday, but was seen out on Sunday evening celebrating with pals. One observer said, "someone went up to him and suggested that he was going too early and he [McLeod] just glared at him and said 'who do you think you are? Tom Russell?'" It was only in the early hours of the following morning that McLeod realised his blunder but by this time it was too late. "The damage had been done," sighed coach John Nutall, "Ryan tried to make it a true run birthday celebration, but it didn't work out- he was just too eager." It is rumoured that the 13:54 5k man was left "absolutely shattered" for his actual birthday evening. An insider said, "he had nothing left. He had been doing far too much of the work."
EMERY CONFIDENT AHEAD OF MIDLANDS TEST
Stephen Emery has revealed that he is "absolutely certain" that he will win the Midlands' 1500m title this weekend. The Coventry man suffered a blip last week at the BMC Sport City meeting, but claimed that "nobody, not even a cat on EPO" could touch him this weekend. "Sport City was Sport City. I think we all know that it was a joke there and that Gary [Bradbury] maliciously taunted me hair highlights before the race. I'm ready now- come and get me." Emery is likely to face stiff opposition from the likes of Tom Russell and Tim Dalton, but the 3:49 1500m man has had firm words for his rivals. "None of them have achieved what I have. I am the BUCS bronze medalist and showed my kicking ability in that race, so I know I can live with anything."
Sunday 6 June 2010
RUNNERSLIFE IN EIGHTLANE SLUR
“Nonsensical tosh written by idiots, for idiots” was the shocking accusation levelled at popular running forum Eightlane.com this evening. The rant came from the Chief Executive of fierce rival, runnerslife.co.uk, after several months of underhand blows. Runnerslife has accused Eightlane founder, Alan Wales, of employing “dirty tricks” in a bid to lure their athletes away to post training logs onto his sites. Lawyers for Mr. Wales have dismissed the complaints as “nonsense”, but the Welsh-based Runnerslife may well cite the recent departure of Stephen Sharp as evidence- the Belgrave man has been a regular fixture on Eightlane since he quit Runnerslife. It is no secret that Sharp complained to the Runnerslife management on several occasions that he was not receiving adequate protection from “slanderous, baseless filth” appearing as comments on his blog and rival sites. Speaking earlier in the year, Sharp said “it is what drove Mark Draper away and the same is happening to me. We put ourselves out there and get shot down. Where are the lawyers when you need them?” It is thought that Runnerslife are “very nervous” that they could lose Sharp’s coaching charge, Nick Goolab, if they do not act now.
Runnerslife insiders have also revealed that website chiefs are “absolutely fuming” that a potential move for Eightlane regular, Luke Cragg was thwarted. Our source said, “Cragg was ready to join the team, but pulled out at the last moment. We all know it is because Wales threatened him with de-registration.” Wales could be in hot water this week after Runnerslife reported comments made on his site in the recent McLeod-Russell dispute to Ofcom. It is rumoured that McLeod threatened to “up sticks and leave” if his website did not back him in the spat and regulators at Runnerslife are said to be “disappointed” that the thread in question was not frozen. “They wonder why they are losing viewership to Letsrun.com [another rival], well it’s that sort of behaviour that drives them away,” said a Runnerslife executive.
Eightlane took unsuccessful legal action when the “fly on the wall” style rival launched a forum of its own last year. A High Court judge threw out the claims as “everyone is entitled to have a forum- we all look forward to reading what anonymous people think about other anonymous people”. At the time, Runnerslife received a rough-ride on the boards of its rival. “Runnerslife is awful,” thundered ‘Rubbish’, “I read some [training logs] the other day that said something like Thursday – 7 tempo.... WTF?” Whilst ‘Fanofboth’ was keen to remain impartial, others clearly had it in for the plucky Welsh site. “That runnerslife lot fink they are well good [sic]” chortled ‘p*ss off’, “well they shud run well away innit [sic]”.
Runnerslife did, however, find themselves in serious trouble over the axe-gate scandal. Spies on Eightlane circulated rumours that Runnerslife had been shut down leading to the website being inundated with requests for it to stay. It was later proved in court that it had all been a publicity stunt and a “rebranding exercise.” Eightlaners were indignant, “Outrageous,” opined ‘Derek Dogg’, “how can they use Eightlane for such blatant lies?” Runnerslife were ordered to compensate Mr. Wales to the tune of a little over £5,000 for the gaffe. This latest dispute is unlikely to end up in court. However, negation experts ACAS have been placed on standby if a compensatory agreement for the loss of Sharp and Cragg cannot be reached. An ACAS source said that this was “no worse” than the British Airways strikes and that he was confident a solution could be reached. “The lines of communication are open,” said the source, “we just hope that ‘Cod Liver Oil’ and the team play ball”.
Runnerslife insiders have also revealed that website chiefs are “absolutely fuming” that a potential move for Eightlane regular, Luke Cragg was thwarted. Our source said, “Cragg was ready to join the team, but pulled out at the last moment. We all know it is because Wales threatened him with de-registration.” Wales could be in hot water this week after Runnerslife reported comments made on his site in the recent McLeod-Russell dispute to Ofcom. It is rumoured that McLeod threatened to “up sticks and leave” if his website did not back him in the spat and regulators at Runnerslife are said to be “disappointed” that the thread in question was not frozen. “They wonder why they are losing viewership to Letsrun.com [another rival], well it’s that sort of behaviour that drives them away,” said a Runnerslife executive.
Eightlane took unsuccessful legal action when the “fly on the wall” style rival launched a forum of its own last year. A High Court judge threw out the claims as “everyone is entitled to have a forum- we all look forward to reading what anonymous people think about other anonymous people”. At the time, Runnerslife received a rough-ride on the boards of its rival. “Runnerslife is awful,” thundered ‘Rubbish’, “I read some [training logs] the other day that said something like Thursday – 7 tempo.... WTF?” Whilst ‘Fanofboth’ was keen to remain impartial, others clearly had it in for the plucky Welsh site. “That runnerslife lot fink they are well good [sic]” chortled ‘p*ss off’, “well they shud run well away innit [sic]”.
Runnerslife did, however, find themselves in serious trouble over the axe-gate scandal. Spies on Eightlane circulated rumours that Runnerslife had been shut down leading to the website being inundated with requests for it to stay. It was later proved in court that it had all been a publicity stunt and a “rebranding exercise.” Eightlaners were indignant, “Outrageous,” opined ‘Derek Dogg’, “how can they use Eightlane for such blatant lies?” Runnerslife were ordered to compensate Mr. Wales to the tune of a little over £5,000 for the gaffe. This latest dispute is unlikely to end up in court. However, negation experts ACAS have been placed on standby if a compensatory agreement for the loss of Sharp and Cragg cannot be reached. An ACAS source said that this was “no worse” than the British Airways strikes and that he was confident a solution could be reached. “The lines of communication are open,” said the source, “we just hope that ‘Cod Liver Oil’ and the team play ball”.
Thursday 3 June 2010
McLEOD - RUSSELL SPAT IN PICTURES
The world reacts to the major talking point of the week......
The Coalition Government ponder their position
Protesters take to the streets of Stroud in favour of Tom Russell
A protest group have started selling these T-Shirts in response to rumours that McLeod has been arrested
A flashback to times gone by
The Commander-in-Chief has firm words for the Bristol man
News reaches the England camp. Capello 'concerned' it may cause distraction
George Gandy remains coy on his position
The Coalition Government ponder their position
Protesters take to the streets of Stroud in favour of Tom Russell
A protest group have started selling these T-Shirts in response to rumours that McLeod has been arrested
A flashback to times gone by
The Commander-in-Chief has firm words for the Bristol man
News reaches the England camp. Capello 'concerned' it may cause distraction
George Gandy remains coy on his position
Tuesday 1 June 2010
NEWS ROUND-UP
OUTRAGE AS ATHLETE EXPRESSES OPINION
British Athletics is this evening coming to terms with a scandal that looks set to rock it to its very foundations- an athlete has said what he really thinks in public. The revelations have trickled out over the past few days and commentators have said that it is "too early to say" whether the sport will recover or not. "It is a massive shock," said a senior athletics source, "usually we get them saying that they all ran really well and how proud they are of each other. But for someone to say what they actually think is a dangerous tactic." The athlete- who cannot be named for legal reasons- is now in hiding after suggesting that someone may not have done their fair share of the front-running during a recent BMC race. Police have revealed that they are "very concerned" for the athlete's safety after hate mail was sent to his home. For their part, the BMC have refused to rule out handing the big mouthed star a ban from all events for the rest of the year.
RUSSELL DISAPPOINTED WITH TESCO TRIP
Tom Russell has said that he is "upset" after an unsuccessful trip to Tesco with his training partners. It is thought that his friends refused to allow the 5k star to "hide at the back" of the convoy. The revelations come as the Bristol favourite was accused of "tucking in" behind several other cars on a recent trip to Manchester. An anonymous source said, "Tom was bragging about how he saved loads of fuel on the trip up to Sport City. Well we can all do that- he took none of the wind whatsoever." For his part, Russell has hit back at the criticism, stating that his car was "recovering from a dodgy MOT" and claiming that he "didn't want to push it". Friends were fuming as he kicked past them as they left the M60 and triumphantly pulled into the car park claiming the win.
BMC TO 'GO UP AGAINST' WORLD CUP
Fighting talk from the British Milers Club this evening as they have revealed that they feel that their Watford Grand Prix will deliver a higher audience that England's first World Cup game. An insider said, "who wouldn't want to watch the cream of the crop bicker about who should take up the pace? I am sure that people will snub England vs. USA in favour of it." Officials have not ruled out going head to head with "the snoozefest" that will be the World Cup Final. Our source continued, "we are thinking about organising an U15 Girls' 10,000m and sticking it on Sky. It'll be interesting to see how it will compare." Mick Woods has hit back at the idea, saying that 10,000m is "far too short" for U15 girls.
ATHLETE SEASON 'EFFECTIVELY OVER' AFTER ONLY EQUALING PERSONAL BEST
A long distance runner has said that it is unlikely he will compete again this season after he did not perform as he would have wanted in a race this weekend. The unnamed star- who is rumoured to be based at Loughborough- was said to be "distraught" after the race and is now planning on "jacking it all in". The Lufbra Echo understands that the runner was planning on "obliterating" his personal best- but only managed to equal it. At the end of the event, he was seen to be visibly upset and petulantly threw his vest onto the floor. A close friend said, "last week, he was in the shape of his life and now he feels as if none of it is worth it. He says that he feels empty inside." The race is said to have "really rocked his confidence", but rumours that a crash diet broccoli and water have been dismissed. The source continued, "he is planning on taking the next year off and then look to build up very slowly. I believe he is targeting a comeback in late 2012". LSAC insiders refused to whether confirm the story related to one of their athletes, but have said that the action "sounds appropriate".
British Athletics is this evening coming to terms with a scandal that looks set to rock it to its very foundations- an athlete has said what he really thinks in public. The revelations have trickled out over the past few days and commentators have said that it is "too early to say" whether the sport will recover or not. "It is a massive shock," said a senior athletics source, "usually we get them saying that they all ran really well and how proud they are of each other. But for someone to say what they actually think is a dangerous tactic." The athlete- who cannot be named for legal reasons- is now in hiding after suggesting that someone may not have done their fair share of the front-running during a recent BMC race. Police have revealed that they are "very concerned" for the athlete's safety after hate mail was sent to his home. For their part, the BMC have refused to rule out handing the big mouthed star a ban from all events for the rest of the year.
RUSSELL DISAPPOINTED WITH TESCO TRIP
Tom Russell has said that he is "upset" after an unsuccessful trip to Tesco with his training partners. It is thought that his friends refused to allow the 5k star to "hide at the back" of the convoy. The revelations come as the Bristol favourite was accused of "tucking in" behind several other cars on a recent trip to Manchester. An anonymous source said, "Tom was bragging about how he saved loads of fuel on the trip up to Sport City. Well we can all do that- he took none of the wind whatsoever." For his part, Russell has hit back at the criticism, stating that his car was "recovering from a dodgy MOT" and claiming that he "didn't want to push it". Friends were fuming as he kicked past them as they left the M60 and triumphantly pulled into the car park claiming the win.
BMC TO 'GO UP AGAINST' WORLD CUP
Fighting talk from the British Milers Club this evening as they have revealed that they feel that their Watford Grand Prix will deliver a higher audience that England's first World Cup game. An insider said, "who wouldn't want to watch the cream of the crop bicker about who should take up the pace? I am sure that people will snub England vs. USA in favour of it." Officials have not ruled out going head to head with "the snoozefest" that will be the World Cup Final. Our source continued, "we are thinking about organising an U15 Girls' 10,000m and sticking it on Sky. It'll be interesting to see how it will compare." Mick Woods has hit back at the idea, saying that 10,000m is "far too short" for U15 girls.
ATHLETE SEASON 'EFFECTIVELY OVER' AFTER ONLY EQUALING PERSONAL BEST
A long distance runner has said that it is unlikely he will compete again this season after he did not perform as he would have wanted in a race this weekend. The unnamed star- who is rumoured to be based at Loughborough- was said to be "distraught" after the race and is now planning on "jacking it all in". The Lufbra Echo understands that the runner was planning on "obliterating" his personal best- but only managed to equal it. At the end of the event, he was seen to be visibly upset and petulantly threw his vest onto the floor. A close friend said, "last week, he was in the shape of his life and now he feels as if none of it is worth it. He says that he feels empty inside." The race is said to have "really rocked his confidence", but rumours that a crash diet broccoli and water have been dismissed. The source continued, "he is planning on taking the next year off and then look to build up very slowly. I believe he is targeting a comeback in late 2012". LSAC insiders refused to whether confirm the story related to one of their athletes, but have said that the action "sounds appropriate".
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