DONALDSON BLASTS 'HOPELESS' BUCS SET UP

With George Gandy away on urgent guru business he has left his press conferences to his Executive PA, Alasdair Donaldson - who has wasted no time in calling for an "urgent review" of the BUCS hierarchy. Furious that start lists were "going up too late" and the "wind was too strong", Donaldson wondered whether there was "any point in Loughborough turning up for the rest of the Championships".

"You want the officials to get the big things right" thundered the irate Scot (who doesn't have time to read this blog) "I'm afraid that wasn't the case today. Where was the finish line technology? We were lucky that it didn't cost us - but mark my words they will get a really major decision wrong by Monday and then we'll all be talking about it". The Newham and Essex Beagle went on to state that he "clearly saw" Mick Woods of St Mary's going into the officials' changing area and "leave with a big smile on his face".

Donaldson - who both Loughborough and UKA have hurriedly distanced themselves from - then voiced his "utter disgust" at the preferential treatment offered to the Birmingham representatives. "Did you see the plush holding area they get?" stormed the tea specialist "whilst Ian [Anholm], David [Howe] and I shiver in the wind. It's a total joke - beyond the pale". Bud Buldaro and his officials have been granted exclusive access to the VIP lounge at Bedford after Buldaro slammed the coffee provision at last year's event. "I don't know if it is because they have Kukri on their vests" Donaldson continued "or it's because everyone likes Birmingham, but something's wrong when you see so many decisions going their way. It's very poor".

BUCS have dismissed Donaldson's comments as "hysteria" and have clarified that no bribes were received from Mick Woods and that Bud Buldaro had "won a competition" granting him special treatment for the duration of the Championships.

On the track, Loughborough survived a scare from Kieran Flannery who was nearly knocked out in the heats of the 800m after easing up well before the line, whilst self-proclaimed pre-race favourite Stephen Emery qualified with ease for the final of the 5,000m.

POKING SCANDAL LEAVES HOWE ON BRINK

David Howe and Alasdair Donaldson's relationship is "beyond economical repair" after Donaldson failed to return the Canadian's Facebook 'poke'. Loughborough's assistant coach is understood to have used the feature over the weekend in a bid to show that there were no hard feelings towards George Gandy's PA after the pair clashed at the Ed Prickett Relays. Onlookers were shocked as they had to be separated in a row over Donaldson's cap.

"David is absolutely gutted" said a source close to the academic "he really thought he had a kindred spirit in Alasdair and that together they could take the reigns when Mr Gandy stands down. He is seriously thinking about moving on now." It is not the first time that Donaldson has found himself in hot water over Facebook usage. The tea and coffee man was fined and firmly reprimanded by UKA last year when he deleted Charles Van Commonee and just last week the Daily Mail published an interview with an enraged Dani Christmas claiming she was "ignored" on the site's chat facility.

It is thought that Gandy will look to host "clear the air" talks tomorrow, but with both parties refusing to confirm their attendance a resolution is looking increasingly unlikely. Insiders have told of how the guru is becoming "extremely frustrated with the "pathetic squabbles" between his deputies. Earlier this year, he was forced to publicly revoke John Nutall's parking privileges after he was deemed to of "maliciously" parked in the space reserved for Bill Foster. This latest dispute "could be the straw that breaks the camel's back" according to insiders and "may lead to an embarrassing dismissal" before the week is out.

BEATEN EMERY BEMOANS 'RIDICULOUS' COURSE

Stephen Emery has hit out at what he calls an "unbelievable" course for Saturday's BUCS Cross Country Championships. Emery was well beaten in the race by Nick Goolab and slumped to a disappointing 12th place, unable to hold his dismal Loughborough team together. The Coventry Godiva man was indignant in defeat however and claimed that Birmingham were "totally wrong" in selecting a course that "played right into the hands" of their top men. "What's done is done," sighed Loughborough's first counter "I can't change that now and whilst they [the rules] weren't absolutely clear going into the race- I have to live with it." 

A representative for BUCS Cross Country dismissed Emery's allegations and added that the day had been a "resounding success". The spokesperson went on, "we have had many many emails praising our efforts on the day. There were a few issues with parking and that is something we will address in later years." When asked to respond to Emery's comments about the decision to "ditch the ditch", the spokesman said that it had been a "safety decision". "If someone fell and hurt themselves, we could never live with it" said the source "we had no choice but to take it out. There were some really, really poor runners out there today".

Emery, however, is incandescent. When asked when he would next be competing, the 3:48 1500m man looked away. "It's really upsetting when something like this happens" said the clearly tired engineer "I have come to trust the rules, the authorities and then an incident like this ruins all of that. Who knows whether I'll bother again, I'm just really hurting right now". Emery went on to add that he felt he would have "won comfortably" on the standard course. "I have been successful there time and time again and suddenly they change it. My question is why? What are they scared of?"

Emery's comments will come as a relief to under-fire LSAC captain Ben Snowball. Radio phone-ins were inundated with angry Loughborough fans yesterday evening demanding the skipper's "immediate resignation". One caller said that the performance was "the worst in history" and that Snowball should "do the decent thing". "He's hanging on for the payout, that much is clear" said the lifetime season ticket holder "we can't go on like this". Snowball would stand to gain £4m if his contract was terminated. Although not explicitly stating support for Snowball, many inside LSAC have not been so quick to criticise. George Gandy chose to blame David Howe yesterday evening and with Emery now citing "obviously biassed" officiating, Snowball might just be able to fight on for another week. 

HOWE TO BLAME FOR LOUGHBOROUGH DEMISE: GANDY

David Howe is responsible for "the worst period in Loughborough's history" according to George Gandy. The guru was quick to point the finger at the Canadian after his team's men slumped to their worst ever BUCS performance this afternoon.

As bating journalists waited for Ben Snowball to explain his side's extraordinarily limp display, they were met with a rampaging Gandy who dismissed claims that Snowball was to be sacked later this evening. "I will be looking to shake things up," said Gandy "but if anything, it is David [Howe] who needs replacing". Gandy pointed out that Loughborough have not been successful in winning an 'A' Team event since Howe's arrival in 2007.

"David just brings this negative vibe to the club - I think it's his voice" sighed a clearly exasperated guru "it has been a very long day, made all the longer by my having to spend time with David." For his part, Howe has said that all his athletes performed well. "In my opinion, it's Donaldson's fault" claimed the academic "since he turned up, everything has gone wrong. We're all fed up with his stories and I bet all the guys were distracted."

Mr Donaldson - who does not have time to read this site - was not available for comment this evening, but with Gandy promising a "comprehensive investigation" into what went wrong in Birmingham, it is unlikely he will remain silent for long. Snowball will not address the media until a scheduled news conference tomorrow afternoon.

HOWE FACES UKA CHARGE

David Howe is likely to face a lengthy touchline ban and heavy fine after being 'sent to the car' at this afternoon's Birmingham League Division One meeting at Coventry. The Loughborough Assistant Coach was dismissed by the match referee after constantly berating officials over what he called a "laughable piece of marshalling". Howe was left seething when the organisers slightly tweaked the course from previous years in order to maximise the conditions. The Canadian was given his marching orders roughly three minutes into the second half of the race after an altercation with the fourth official.

UKA have confirmed that he will be handed an automatic three race suspension after seeing red, but could face a further charge of "using foul and abusive language" that could lead to a ban of up to 12 weeks. Speaking after the race, Howe conceded that he had "spoken out of turn" by resisted any suggestion that he had used bad language. "That isn't something I would do," said Howe "I admit that I was upset at the way the match was going. I think that it was a bit big for the race referee to be honest, but I should have kept those thoughts to myself."

In a move that is unlikely to win him any friends at UKA, the academic added that he was "becoming increasingly concerned" at the weak officiating seen at recent events. His comments come just days after Bud Buldaro voiced worries over the degree to which officials were influenced by Guru Gandy in the run up to BUCS. "If anything decisions seem to go against us" said Howe "I am not sure how Bud can say that. It is no secret that UKA officials seem to have it in for Loughborough and Loughborough athletes - you just need to look at the way Lewis Moses was treated in the summer. It's very poor and I think it confirms that we need to have another look at race officiating."

THE GURU'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE - 2010

People of Loughborough, UKA and beyond,

I write to you from my Guru retreat far from the constant gaze of media attention and the miserable snow that has ground the British people down. Rest assured that the sun is peaking over the horizon as I sip from my Guru cocktail supplied to me by my Guru aides, all the time watched over by my Guru security team.

2010 has been a difficult year for us all. We have had the horrors of debt at LSAC to deal with, the nightmare of the kit scandal and above all, the hiring of a new tea boy - Alasdair Donaldson (who doesn't have time to read that fantastic Lufbra Echo) . I realise now what a dreadful mistake that was - but you have to understand that he made a very good case for himself when I interviewed him and spoke glowingly about his time at school. Alas, his tea is too weak and his emails require constant correction. The whistle at sessions (rather than my grandly shouts) was the final straw for me and Alasdair and I are set for "crisis talks" if you will, early in the New Year.

Many people have asked me about why I took the executive (and extraordinary) decision to scrap the LSAC Grass Session this year. Indeed, I have a letter right here in front of me from Joanna Lumley (she of Gurkha fame) demanding to know why "the little people" of the grass have been treated "so very badly". Well the truth is that I worked out that getting rid of the grass session was the best possible way of annoying David Howe and so went ahead with it. I must say the results have been very pleasing indeed!

To close off LSAC affairs, I turn my attention to Director Dakin who has continued in his capacity as Director of Coaching. There has been some debate over whether Director Dakin is my superior or not. This is a ridiculous and futile discussion. How can a mere 'coach' outrank a Guru? Just because Director Dakin has a big plush office that is separate from the rest of the team, you all think that he is the number one around here. Nonsense. I chose to be in the open plan area because I am confident in my position. I do not need that status of a personal office to make me feel adequate. It is a great shame that Director Dakin is so petulant about this and we are all getting sick of his hissy fits and door slamming pantomimes. The truth is that he is jealous of my Guru status, but it was not me who failed his Fellowship of the Royal College of Gurus entrance exams now was it? I aced mine years ago and he simply lacks the experience. In all honesty, he shouldn't really be a director at all and we only gave him that to stop his whining all the time. 

On the UK Athletics front, we have seen unprecedented success this year. I have just had the pleasure of spending some time with successful contestants in the "Race to Portugal" competition that was UKA's initiative to select the team for the European Cross Country Championships. It was such a shame that I had to push Andy Vernon and James Wilkinson off the cliff because the disappointed me so. Only joking! That would be a direct breach of the Guru Handbook, Section 22, Paragraph 6: "Never, under any circumstances, intentionally push, throw or in any way encourage an athlete - underachiever or otherwise - to fall from a cliff". 

In all seriousness, it has been quite a year. So good to see that Chirs Thompson and Mo Farah have made up after that pathetic spat over Mo stealing from Chris. It was a real shame that Chris had to bring that up in the middle of a live BBC interview with Godfather Inverdale, but I am afraid that it only demonstrative of 'Thommo's' lack of class. Of course, I have been single handedly responsible for the turn around in Distance Running success this year and so I think we should all collectively (and metaphorically) pat me on the back: WELL DONE MR GURU, SIR! I can't wait to watch the World Championships in Berlin again (Seoul will probably be called off because I am about to declare war on South Korea on behalf of my Northern comrades), but I will be personally ensuring that Alasdair tears up that horrid blue track. 

Here's to yet more success in 2011, and to hoping that I finally get Charles Van Commenee's job that I richly deserve!

Warmest Regards to you all (you certainly need them!)

NJoy!

Guru George Gandy FRCG 

LORD GURU GANDY SET TO NAME APPRENTICE

The climax of "the job interview from hell" is to be reached this weekend as the Guru reveals the chosen one - and winner of a three figure salary - from the two remaining candidates. Alasdair Donaldson and David Howe have beaten off the competition of thousands and a twelve month selection process in order to go head to head in the final. Donaldson - who does not have the time to read this blog - has five times been in the firing line and has the poorer record of the two. Canadian Howe, meanwhile, only came unstuck in the Craig Mottram task when his athlete was nearly lapped by the Australian.

"Alasdair has shown great passion and tenacity" explained the Guru to a the BBC's One Show, "he has a lot to learn but if he was prepared to listen, I am sure we could do something with him." Donaldson has been a controversial figure from the start and was almost immediately sent packing when he project managed the disastrous Portugal task. On that occasion, he was able to convince the Guru of his "huge potential" and passed the blame on to the "virtually absent" John Nutall who was fired. The Fife man then went on to record some big wins - most notably in the Circuit Session task where he scrapped the conventional method of calling out time every 30 seconds for an automated watch and then again in the Emailing task, where he sent all of the Guru's emails out in the quickest time.

"David is more a safe pair of hands" said the Guru of Howe "he has been round the block a few times, but I am concerned about his maverick tendencies." Howe was lucky to escape in Portugal after his team recorded a narrow victory. However, the Middle Saturday task led to him being heavily criticised by Ian Anholm - one of his Lordship's aides - for spiking the drink of one his athletes in a bid to help him relax. Howe shone in the Winter Session task when he "rolled the dice" in opting to go ahead with a grass session despite explicit instructions to do otherwise. Howe was also praised for a "spark of brilliance" when opting to ignore the fact that one of his athletes had tripped and fallen in a 1500m race. Calling it "a moment of true intuition" the Guru immediately put the Canadian through to the latter stages much to the ire of Bill Foster, with whom Howe has regularly clashed. Foster was fired after the Easy Run task went wrong and some of his athletes were spotted running sub-5 minute miles - something that Foster claims was "David's idea".

The final task sees the two finalists really put through their paces as they both pitch to the Guru their ideas for his 'Office Expansion Project.' The winner will be rewarded with a seat in the corner of the new office and the dream opportunity of making Lord Gandy's tea.

EMERY 'FED UP' WITH LOUGHBOROUGH REGIME

Stephen Emery could be on the brink of a shock move to Birmingham after telling his advisers not to enter into discussions about the renewal of his contract at Loughborough. The 3:48 1500m man is said to be "very upset" after not receiving a personal email of congratulations from Guru George Gandy after his recent Birmingham League success and has always had a soft spot for the velvet tongued Bud Buldaro. The Lufbra Echo also understands that Emery is still furious about the new arrangements surrounding physio vouchers that have been introduced by a rampaging Ian Anholm. The Director of Administrative Affairs (Upstairs Office) has limited all athletes to just five vouchers per term and Emery has slammed this decision as "unreasonable" and is rumoured to have left a "stroppy note" on Anholm's car windscreen.

"Stephen is tired at the moment" sighed a seemingly unconcerned George Gandy from his weekly press conference "I am sure that this is the hours of stretching are taking their toll and in the new year he will be refreshed and ready to commit his future to us." The fact that a possible Emery defection is headline news only serves to underline how far the unfancied engineer has come in the past eighteen months. Written off by many, Emery was criticised for his "handlebars" by assistant coach David Howe just over a year ago and was on the brink of being "moved on" from the club after a dismal summer campaign in 2009. Since then, the Coventry Godiva man has become a linchpin in Gandy's squad and however much LSAC protest otherwise, his loss would be catastrophic in the run up to the BUCS Cross Country Championships.

An Emery spokesman was keen to play down the rumours this evening and was instead focussing on the "ludicrous" decision by Pete Matthews to grow a pony tail for the aforementioned BUCS. "If anything it is Mr Matthews that is forcing Stephen to consider his position" said the source "living with him is an awful experience and I think anyone would get fed up of hearing about how he once medalled at the U6 National Cross Relays every single day".

Matthews is said to be growing the pony tail for "attention seeking purposes".

NEWS ROUND UP

RADCLIFFE MAY RUN IN RACE SHOCK
Paula Radcliffe is "considering" competing in a race, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The news has left many in the athletics world reeling from the shock with many scratching their heads trying to remember the last time she raced. "This is crazy" said one senior UKA source, "everyone knows that Paula is the best trainer in the world. Can she convert that into racing? I'm not sure." It is thought that the Monaco based star is targeting "at least one" race within the next year and whilst there are no guarantees that an appropriate contractual arrangement can be agreed, some say that a thrilling sequel could be seen in 2012.

GANDY SHELVES TRAINING AMID ICE CHAOS
George Gandy was forced to cancel organised training at Loughborough this week after his apprentice was unable to blow dry the track to safety. The Guru was left with no alternative but to make the "self operate" call despite nearly three hours of back breaking work from Alasdair Donaldson - who does not have time to read this site. Donaldson borrowed the hair dryer from great man himself and conceded that this was "probably not the best decision". David Howe, meanwhile, risked the wrath of the authorities by continuing to run his unsanctioned grass session. It is understood that the Canadian will be asked to explain himself in the coming months having repeatedly ignored a Guru Order on the matter.

The snow and ice has always been said to bring out the worst in Loughborough athletes and this year's crop did not disappoint. Leicestershire Police were despatched to attend to a distress call from Frank Baddick who had attempted to complete a training session on the icy Loughborough canal. The unwitting Baddick had fallen through the ice "half way through the fifth rep" after thinking it safer to train on there "rather than running the risk of turning an ankle" elsewhere. Calling the session "irresponsible" a spokesman for the Police confirmed that the 1500m star will make a full recovery.


OHURUOGU 'FORGETS' TO PAY FOR PETROL
Dappy 400m Olympic Champion, Christine Ohuruogu has been handed a £400 fine by the Metropolitan Police after failing to pay for petrol for the third time in 18 months. The quarter mile ace slammed the "ridiculously unworkable" system of payment at her local Esso Garage and pleaded that it had "completely slipped her mind" to pay for the fuel. "I fill up with petrol and am just focussed on getting back on the road" explained an unapologetic Ohuruogu, "there was no malice in the action and this fine is completely disproportionate." This is not the first time Ohuruogo's forgetful nature has got her into trouble. Earlier this year, the Londoner was fined after failing to put her recycling out for collection and she has been warned that any future misdemeanours could be dealt with "very severely".


ECHO CRITIC, THE HYPOCRITE?
"It's not funny....it's just weird" was one of the Echo's favourite detractors damning assessment of the hard hitting journalism we produce. Said critic was seething when an unwitting sub-editor (now retired) dared to lift a picture from his Facebook wall and use it in an article about Big Brother. Lack of respect and all that was the thunderous cry! Well, said individual should know all about respect given that his current Facebook profile picture shows him openly mocking world famous physicist, Stephen Hawking. This blog may not be funny, but we are not quite sure how a terminal illness is.

NEWS ROUND UP

COE IN STADIUM NAMING RIDDLE

Lord Sebastian Coe KBE has lost his cool after being informed that the Olympic Stadium will not be called 'The Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe KBE is Brilliant Stadium'. It is understood that his Lordship presented the idea to fellow Olympic Chiefs last week who unanimously kicked it into touch. Speaking to the Lufbra Echo, Lord Coe said that the British Olympic Association were "ungrateful". "We are here because of me and I think that they should remember that" said the former 800m World Record holder "I think it is high time I got the sort of recognition that Lord Sugar gets." It is thought that Lord Coe is particularly upset that the BBC would not allow him to run his own version of Sugar's Apprentice in order to help him find a new butler. "How come someone like that [Sugar] - a commoner gets all the glamour, whilst I am here with nothing?" thundered the LOCOG Chairman, before breaking off the interview to go and shout at an architect "because he could". 

BRENDAN FOSTER MAY QUIT BBC OVER CAKE ROW

Brendan Foster, for so long the voice of British athletics coverage, has handed the Beeb an ultimatum over cake, the Lufbra Echo understands. It is thought that Foster, who retired from running some years ago, is furious after he was told that only three types of cake would be provided at major athletics events from now on. An insider has told of how Mr Foster was "horrified" by the news and would "struggle to cope" with remaining awake for the entirety of the London Marathon without "at least ten" cakes on the go at once. "How would you feel if you were handed a 70% real terms pay cut?" asked a Foster representative "it's not his fault that the BBC have run out of money." The BBC declined to comment on the record this evening, but a source close to Beeb chiefs revealed that "they couldn't care less" if Foster leaves.

ROYAL COUPLE TO MARRY

Prince Robert Whittle of Loughborough has announced his engagement to Laura Kenny. It is understood that the Prince, second in line to the thrown currently occupied by King Guru Gandy III, proposed to Miss Kenny during a training run in the Outwoods and they will be married later this year. Cross Country Captain, Ben Snowball hailed a "wonderful day" for Loughborough and hoped that it would take everyone's mind of the continuing dismal showing at recent cross country events. Miss Kenny will become the Princess of Shepshed after the marriage and has said that she is "one hundred percent committed" to continuing with her career despite the change in circumstances.

HOWE ATHLETE RUNS PB SHOCK

An athlete coached by David Howe has run a personal best, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The result, which is believed to have come over 10km, has left many in the sport shocked. "This is absolutely crazy news" said one spectator, "it is going to turn the athletics world upside down." It is understood that the runner, who has asked not to be named, has engaged in some "solid" training over recent months and that is how the performance is being explained. An insider at Loughborough this evening dismissed the news as a "blip" and remained confident that normal service would soon be restored.

ECHO CHIEFS FUMING OVER 'SPOOF' SLUR

The Lufbra Echo is today fighting allegations that it is nothing more than a "fun spoof website". The reports on spikesmag.com have left the management in a desperate struggle to claw back some credibility and could yet spell the end for "the greatest website ever to grace the internet" (Sunday Times). "This is the most outrageous libel I have ever seen" thundered a senior source, "how dare they suggest that our work is anything other than hard hitting journalistic investigation?" The Echo was given one of the most prestigious awards in journalism last month, and insiders have accused Spikes Mag of jealousy. "The fact is that they will never have the following that we have" continued our source "they have printed this garbage in order to attract headlines, but all they are going to attract is legal action."

The Chief Executive was too upset to comment this evening, but did promise to fight the accusations "with all his heart" and dismissed speculation that he had authorised the article as a publicity stunt. A spokesman for the £4m man said that the entire team was "standing by their man" at this difficult time. "We have broken some huge stories," said the Senior Press Secretary (UK & North West Europe) "and if our rivals can't deal with that, then they should get out and do some investigating." The Echo has not been without its detractors in recent months, and rumours are circulating that they were forced to make a "sizeable payout" to the BBC's John Inverdale after a senior staffer was heard to crticise the Godfather's presenting style. It is understood that both parties signed a binding confidentiality agreement and the Echo's top man was forced into a grovelling apology.

"This is a setback we could all do without" said our insider of the Spikes article, "it has been a really rough few months for the top brass as we rolled out in Korea and have had various fights on our hands. However, we will put a stop to this nonsense and if we have to go to Court then so be it." The source would not be drawn on whether a pay-wall akin to that employed by News International would have to be looked at for the Echo, but with advertising revenue down 12% (to £834,000) last month the light at the end of the tunnel may well have to be switched off to save the energy.

The Echo has been responsible for some of the most shameful antics in the sport being exposed. Its first major scoop came when Ryan McLeod and Nick McCormick were caught breaking UKA's £40,000 Alter-G Treadmill and the site went on to win high praise for its all-encompassing coverage of Loughborough's Warm Weather trip to Portugal. It is often the first port of call for whistle blowers keen to put a stop to corruption in the sport and in the summer, the European Court of Human Rights praised the Echo for its "tremendous bravery" in reporting the tyranny of Charles Van Commenee at UKA. It can only be hoped that similar support is forthcoming during the latest woe to beset this plucky outfit.

SPINELESS SEAWARD STOPPED IN THIRD MILE OF GROUP TEMPO

Kevin Seaward's "career defining" challenge to become the new Heavyweight Champion of Loughborough Tempo Runs disintegrated into a whimper as the Irishman was forced to turn back just three miles into the race. Seaward - who claims to be in the shape of his life - never even made it to campus to meet the bulk of the group yesterday evening and was unable to live up to pre-event hype. Speaking on BBC Radio Five Live just last week, he spoke confidently of being able to "end the careers" of others in the group. "What does [Chris] Warburton have? I mean really?" said Seaward "his family think they rule to roost at Loughborough, well I will be putting an end to the dynasty. Chris will be on the bread line when I'm through with him."

Unfortunately despite much bloviating about "some of the best sessions the world has ever seen", the former International was clearly in trouble from the outset. Immediately coming under pressure from some of the girls, Seaward's form started to slip, ultimately resulting in the race referee having to order him back home just 15 minutes into the contest. Speaking after the event, Seaward said that he felt the race had been ended "prematurely" but did concede that he probably "wasn't in the right place" to mount a significant challenge to the group. "I have to think about where I go from here," a shell-shocked Seaward told Five Live "my body just wouldn't play." UK Athletics would not speculate on reports that the Irishman would have part of his race purse withheld after such a dismal showing, but they did confirm that they were satisfied that the problem gambler had not deliberately thrown the race.

Meanwhile, it was a welcome surprise to see Pete Matthews doing a little running rather than talking about how he had "achieved more in the sport than Mo Farah" and Gary Bradbury seemed at ease after his well documented contractual problems. Whilst it remains to be seen how difficult a winter the African Violets will have under new captain Ben Snowball, there is optimism that Alasdair Donaldson's ludicrous decision to scrap the Tuesday night grass session will not lead to the all out mutiny many predicted. An insider told the Echo that there was "significant unrest" at the move, but many were "getting their heads down" for the good of the club. It is not believed that underground and unsanctioned grass sessions are as widespread as first feared, but our source did reveal that David Howe was under investigation by the club's Directorate of Non-compliance (DON) and that the findings would be published "in the new year".  

SNOWBALL 'NOT TO BLAME' FOR LEAMINGTON DISASTER: GANDY

George Gandy has this evening reassured Ben Snowball that his job as Cross Country Captain is safe after Loughborough's famous cross country squad slumped to dismal showing at the weekend's first Birmingham League at Leamington. Sunday's News of the World carried the headline SNOWBALL MELTS UNDER PRESSURE and reported that "Loughborough chiefs were planning to axe the new skipper by the end of the week". Speaking from a press conference today, Gandy dismissed such rumours as "nonsense". "Just because it has taken me 48 hours to make a comment, you jump to the incorrect conclusion that Ben's job is under threat," thundered a stony faced guru, "nothing could be further from the truth. Ben is very much the man for the moment."

Snowball's meteoric and quite unexpected elevation to captain has been met with derision from some. A statement of protest from disgraced former president Rob Hodges last week did not help matters and yesterday, Canadian assistant coach David Howe called on the club to address the "crisis of leadership" facing it. "It's about who can motivate the guys," said Howe "I don't think Ben can do that because nobody knows who he is". Snowball himself exclusively told the Echo that Saturday's performance was "depressing" but stopped short of giving up hope. "I think when Pete Matthews actually decides to man up and compete things will be a lot better- no one wants to be beaten by him!"

Whilst Snowball's position is safe at the moment, it is unlikely Gandy and his colleagues will look kindly on the potential of relegation to the second tier of Birmingham competition and a club insider has said that the Aldershot man's days are numbered. "They want to bring in a big name to get us out of this mess," said the source, "there is a lot of talk of Shane Kerr taking it back for the rest of the season, but anything can happen."

Coming Soon:
- SNOWBALL: WE CAN STAY UP
- WHAT HAS GONE WRONG AT LOUGHBOROUGH?
- IS ALASDAIR DONALDSON TO BLAME?
- THE DAY LOUGHBOROUGH LOST ITS SENSE OF HUMOUR: INSIDE STORY

'I AM THE FAVOURITE': EMERY

Stephen Emery "can't bloody wait" for the first outing of the winter at tomorrow's Birmingham League at Leamington. Despite rumours that Emery is unhappy with his current arrangements at Coventry, the 1500m star has insisted that he will "give his all" to the forthcoming campaign. "There is no reason why it can't be a clean sweep" said the former Rugby & Northampton athlete "I know that if I can win tomorrow, I can get a run going...let's face it - I am the one to beat."

Emery will not have to face long time rival Sebastian Foy as the Cheltenham man has joined the legions of ex-Loughborough stars to retire from the sport. Foy conceded that his "height disadvantage" had become too much for him and announced his retirement at an emotional press conference last week. "I haven't been the same since I suffered a suspected stress fracture last Spring" said Foy "I guess it's all over for me now. I want to congratulate everyone else on all the good work they have been doing."

Emery was dismissive of the rivalry when asked about it at his own press conference and even went as far as admitting that he "never liked" Foy. Calling him a "slimy no-hoper", Emery slammed Foy's "pretences at stardom". "I have no idea what people saw in him," said the 3:48 1500m man "when it came to the track, his challenge disintegrated." When asked about potential rivals for the forthcoming series, Emery said that he "honestly couldn't think of anyone capable of getting close" to him and branded Pete Matthews "an embarrassment to the sport".

The Loughborough based engineer refused to answer questions surrounding rumours that he has approached David Howe in order to "beg" for some help. "Private business is private business," said a stern faced Emery sipping from an electrolyte drink.

MATTHEWS OUT OF TEMPO DECIDER

Pete Matthews has picked up a slight injury and will miss the final Club Tempo run of the Autumn. The disgraced AAAs fraudster told his official website that he was "devastated" to be sidelined after a podium finish last year. "This is what it is all about," said the Red Head, "it's absolutely gutting to be out of it. I really thought it was mine this year." Matthews' absence opens the door for the likes of Stephen Emery, Frank Baddick and Rob Whittle to battle it out for the most prestigious title in the East Midlands.

Speaking yesterday afternoon, Whittle conceded that he had been "unsettled" by the now infamous "hair gel affair" that took place between himself and Baddick. "I thought it was bad form," said the 1500m specialist "and I must admit it got to me a little." Baddick meanwhile has been playing down his chances pointing to "an alarming dip" in form. "I can't understand it" sighed Baddick at his own press conference "this is the most crucial point of my year and it looks like I'm going to blow it now. It's very frustrating indeed."

Such talk surely makes Stephen Emery the favourite and he will be looking to bounce back from his "dismal" display at Sutton Park last weekend. Emery has said that he was "embarrassed" to be nearly beaten by Kevin Seaward and will be looking to exact some revenge this evening. "That is if Kevin bothers to show up" said Emery of his bitter enemy "wouldn't surprise me if he skips it like normal. The fact is that Kevin isn't cut out for the big occasion." Emery refused to be drawn on his other threats but did confirm that he was "relieved" to hear of Matthews' withdrawal.

Whilst it remains to be seen whether there are any credible challenges to come from first year students, Loughborough sources have been keen to talk up their latest intake. "It's the best batch since I was a fresher" beamed George Gandy's Personal Private Secretary, Alasdair Donaldson "there has been a lot written about how much it all cost [estimates have been as high as £100m] but I think everyone will see that it is all worth it." Donaldson has ruled himself out of the contest after making the "difficult" decision that he isn't fit enough. "It is time for the young guns now and so it would be nice to see a fresher win it. As long as Whittle messes up then I'm happy." Donaldson dismissed speculation that his withdrawal was linked with rumours that bitter adversary David Howe was contemplating throwing his hat into the ring.

FOY SLAMS LOUGHBOROUGH 'FARCE'

In his first press conference since his highly controversial move to Channel Islands AC, Seb Foy has hit out at what he called the "generation of hypocritical wannabes" at Loughborough. In a move that looks set to infuriate his former African Violet colleagues, the cross country specialist said that he "couldn't wait" to take on the likes of Stephen Emery again. "I never liked Emery," said Foy from a sponsorship launch "he thinks he is something that he's not and to be honest comes across as a bit flaky. I hate phonies". The Cheltenham Harrier is slated for a return to the East Midlands later this month but with these words, that prospect is looking more and more implausible.

"It's the hypocrisy that I couldn't stand," continued the 48th man home at the National Cross "all the time slagging off other people, when really you're no better yourself. I have to say I am delighted to be away from that hell hole. People at Loughborough are really soft as well - they take offence at the most minor things." Foy did not stop at criticising his peers. He also said that he "never had any time for" George Gandy and "didn't get what the point of Circuits was". "Everyone knows that I was coached by Dave [David Howe]" continued Foy "and to be honest he begged me not to leave when I did. He said that if I were to go he would be stuck with a bunch of no hopers that nearly get lapped by Craig Mottram. I guess he was right."

In a shocking damnation of BUCS competition, Foy said that his National Cross performance meant "a thousand times more" to him than his BUCS team Cross Country Bronze. "By that stage, Emery and I weren't talking any more and so it wasn't a 'team' thing. I just wanted to get out of Stirling to be honest. The after-party was so awkward. I was looking around thinking about how much better than everyone else I was. I had to get out."

Foy - who is rumoured to be earning several times as much at his new club - said that he was staying motivated by a desire to "get one over" his old team. "I just want to show them that you can leave that awful town and still have a career," thundered the Channel Islander "we'll see what happens in the Birmingham League this year. Rumour has it that Emery is getting himself up for a victory. We'll see."

'NO TENSION' AT LOUGHBOROUGH: GANDY

George Gandy has denied speculation that "an increasing tension" between his three assistant coaches is ruining preparations for the new season. The guru, who was en route to the Commonwealth Games in Delhi (subject to change), denied that he had had to separate Alasdair Donaldson and John Nutall in an argument over who should be named 'Acting Director and Guru-in-Waiting' whilst Gandy is away. "That's nonsense, total rubbish" thundered Gandy from his private plane, "it's just tabloid speculation and we can do without it." Gandy revealed that his post would be "shared" between the three assistants while he was away. "I will still be running things from the Blackberry," said the guru, "there will be strict instructions as to what to do in an emergency."

Reports in yesterday's papers told of how the unease between Donaldson, Nutall and the 'third man' David Howe was "all consuming". It is believed to have started when Howe insisted that he sit at Gandy's desk on a "trial basis" and escalated when Donaldson used his twitter account to slam "nobody Howe" and "yesterday's Nutall". Meanwhile the debate over who should do the infamous 'Welcome Talk' for first year students is also hotting up. With Bill Foster throwing his hat into the ring and George Gandy refusing to back any candidate, it looks as if what should be a friendly introduction will turn into a four-way brawl. Foster told the Echo that his results should speak for themselves: "I'm not interested in taking over from George," said Loughborough's most successful coach of all time "but if you look at it logically, you can see that [the other coaches] are a joke. David's athletes nearly get lapped, Alasdair's barely out of nappies and John is from Preston".

Elsewhere, Howe has been forced to apologise after adding "everyone on Facebook" except for one of his leading stars. The athlete in question - who is believed to focus on longer distances - told the Sun that he was "deeply hurt" by the snub. "It keeps cropping up on my news feed: 'David Howe is friends with....' and yet it's never me," said the anonymous African Violet "it makes me wonder whether it's worth committing my future to this club". Keen to play down the incident, a spokesman for the Canadian said that the matter "was being looked into" and apologised for any upset the "misunderstanding" could have caused.

HOWE IN FIGHT FOR FUTURE AFTER ALCOHOL SNAPS

David Howe’s credibility appears to be in tatters this evening after he was spotted leaving Sainsbury’s with “enough alcohol to drown George Gandy”. Shocked bystanders recall seeing the top coach marching away from the superstore with “several crates” of beer along with two large bottles of lemonade. After a difficult week for Loughborough and UKA, this latest scandal will come as a major blow. Howe was cautioned earlier this year after one of his athletes was rushed to hospital with alcohol poisoning having drunk a drink spiked by the Canadian. “It’s difficult to see a role for him now,” snarled Alasdair Donaldson (George Gandy’s PA), “I shall take over looking after David’s athletes as a temporary measure. Hopefully we’ll stop his guys from nearly getting lapped again”.

For his part, Howe has defended his actions claiming that what he does in his spare time is his own business. "I realise that being associated with the Loughborough regime means that I am a high profile figure," said the Canadian from a hideaway in the English countryside, "but if what I do away from the track is nothing to do with the wider world". Howe went on to dismiss Donaldson's comments, stating that the Scot had "a lot to learn" before he would be allowed near any of his athletes. "Who else can miss their guys falling over in a race?" thundered the world's leading authority on aggressive behaviour in snooker, "or keep them on their toes on a night out? Alasdair needs to get back to sending out George's emails".

Loughborough officials have said that the issue will not be dealt with until the regime gets rolling again at the end of the month.

NEWS ROUND-UP

With election fever gripping Britain, the Echo focuses on what's important and rounds up all that is new in France, Loughborough and beyond.....

McLEOD RUES DRIVING DECISION

Ryan McLeod has refused to drive his car back to the United Kingdom in the wake of allegations that travel mates, Lewis Moses and Johnny Mellor are not taking their navigational responsibilities seriously. The journey to Front Romeu- some 1,000 miles- took significantly longer than slated after McLeod made several “basic errors” in his directional choice. Mellor revealed earlier this month that he was “livid” with his driver as he refused to follow the instructions of the Sat Nav. However, yesterday Mellor went further, revealing that the convoy had “gone via Poland” in a bid to reach the altitude camp before nightfall. “I couldn’t care less if that daft lad doesn’t want to drive home,” said Mellor, “I’m quite happy to steal the car and drive myself.”

McLeod is rumoured to have been recalled from Barcelona airport having “forgotten” that he was due to drive back to the UK. It was only when he returned to the UKA base that it was revealed that he was having second thoughts over the decision. The Tipton Harrier was remaining silent this morning and refused to take any calls from journalists, but it looks as if days of negotiations lie ahead. UKA have called in specialist negotiators in to try and bring the crisis to a swift end, but it seems that there are “fundamental disagreements” between the two parties. An insider said, “Ryan thinks that Lewis and Johnny should take their role as navigators more seriously. He is also demanding that only songs from his iPod be played throughout the journey.” McLeod, who has a personalised number plate in order to help him remember which car is his, courted criticism on a recent day trip when he ditched conventional roads in an effort to beat George Gandy to a restaurant. His passengers, who have asked not to be named, told of a “terrifying” plunge down a number of ski slopes.

RANKINGS GAFFE INFRURIATES EMERY

Stephen Emery has said that he is “seriously considering” his participation in the Loughborough International later this month after Ian Anholm made an extraordinary error when typing up the latest LSAC rankings. “Why on earth am I not ranked number 1?” fumed the BUCS Outdoor 5,000m Bronze medallist, “who is that nobody, Wall-Clarke? I beat him in the heat and yet he is down as beating me. I am outraged.” Emery told of how this was the latest in a long line of bust ups with Anholm. “He never willingly gives me physio vouchers,” said the Coventry man, “he looks me up and down in a way that says ‘you’re not entitled to them’. Well I think my performance last week [at BUCS] shows that I am.” Anholm refused to comment on the allegation that he “had it in” for Emery, but did concede that the rankings could be wrong. “How am I supposed to get them all right?” protested the Admin supremo, “all I know is that he [Emery] was going backwards in the heat and so I may have assumed Wall-Clarke beat him.”

Anholm stopped short of issuing an apology and instead launched an attack of his own on Emery. Labelling the star “arrogant and dismissive”, Anholm revealed that he had had “a number” of complaints about Emery’s attitude since scooping the medal. “I have heard that he has been surging in runs and then celebrating as if he had won another medal. He also demanded that a fresher clean his spikes the other day and that isn’t on.” It is likely that George Gandy will set out a new disciplinary structure for LSAC upon his return from France, as it has become clear that the guru’s bungling deputies, David Howe and Alasdair Donaldson, are unable to control big names such as Emery. A source for the LSAC chief said, “George is looking forward to the challenge of righting a few wrongs when he gets back. He is disappointed to hear of some of the antics that have occurred in his absence”.

TALCUM POWDER ERROR LEAVES BOWSER EMBROILED IN DRUGS SCANDAL

Matthew Bowser has apologised to his “many fans” for using a brand of talcum powder that contains banned substances. An insider at Bowser’s Front Romeu camp revealed how the sub-30 10k man only realised his gaffe when it was too late. “He offered it around to the other lads,” said our source, “he said that it left his skin feeling wonderfully soft and re-hydrated. Thankfully, Johnny Mellor thought to check the label.” Bowser was forced to admit his wrongs to UKA chiefs and it is thought that the governing body has now launched a “damage limitation” exercise. The City of Sheffield man is “co-operating fully” with French authorities and it is likely that he will be let off with a “firm warning”.

Speaking at a press conference before travelling home this morning Bowser said, “I am one hundred percent responsible. The friendly man in Holland and Barrett never mentioned that there was an issue with it, but I should have asked.” The Lincoln based star went on, “it’s just that I have always struggled with dry and flaky skin- this powder solved those issues and so it is with a heavy heart that I stop using it.” UKA chief Charles Van Commenee sat in on the press conference, but would not be drawn on what sanctions await Bowser. “Let me be clear,” said the performance supremo, “Matthew is only guilty of wanting fresh, peachy skin like that of myself. He has not knowingly committed a doping violation.” Van Commenee went on to state that there had been no noticeable improvement in Bowser’s performances whilst using the powder. “It is unlikely that he inhaled enough to make any real difference,” said the Dutchman, “if he had been finishing sessions and races or producing unbelievable times it would be more of an issue. But he hasn’t so it’s fine”.

Both Van Commenee and Bowser stated that they were “absolutely dedicated” to a drug free sport and that Bowser would be giving a series of lectures on the “dangers of dermatological products” in competition. It is likely that the 14:13 5k man will be counting his blessings that this was discovered before it was too late. Only a fortnight ago, LaShawn Merritt was slapped with a lengthy ban for using a “male enhancement drug”.

LSAC IN CRISIS AS DONALDSON LAUNCHES LEADERSHIP BID

Loughborough insiders have revealed that “months of uncertainty” surround the most successful student athletics club in history. Alasdair Donaldson, assistant to LSAC supremo George Gandy, has today announced a formal leadership challenge to the guru- who is not due back from France until Tuesday. The news comes as the student side of the club gears up for elections in a matter of weeks. Rob Hodges, the current LSAC President, was rumoured to be seeking a dissolution of his committee as early as next Wednesday, but Donaldson’s announcement has forced these ideas to be shelved. President Hodges said that “democracy must take its course” but would not be drawn on whether he is planning on supporting the coup.

Donaldson, who only arrived in Loughborough in January, launched his campaign manifesto to a group of three outside the High Performance Athletics Centre this afternoon. In it, he pledges to “put Loughborough first” and to “abolish Tuesday night grass sessions”. He is also calling for a “fundamental reform” in the way Club Directors are appointed in future. The Scot said, “it isn’t right that someone like George can be at the helm for over 30 years....the club is tired and we need a change.”

It is unknown how well his move will be supported with many, including John Nutall, remaining silent this evening. Quick fire opinion polls have shown it unlikely that the 33 year-old would be able to gain an outright majority of votes and therefore automatically win the keys to “the upstairs office”. A spokesman from polling agency, YouGov said “there is an appetite for change, and I think some feel that Mr. Gandy may not be the right man to take the club forward. However, opinions are mixed on whether Mr. Donaldson is the right man to do it.” Donaldson’s supporters refused to rule out a potential coalition with fellow assistant David Howe “if it were enough to get him over the line”. Dr. Howe is currently in Finland, but his spokesman said that he “only sought stable governance within LSAC and nothing else.” Commentators have said that this “leaves the door completely open” for either Donaldson or Gandy to approach him. The BBC’s Sports Editor, Matthew Bond said “it is clear that it could come down to David Howe to play kingmaker in this situation....it’s an unenviable but hugely exciting position to be in”.

Some have said that this is “the worst possible time” for such uncertainty with the club looking at an “eye-watering” level of debt. “Our deficit is reaching record highs and now is not the time for leadership bickering,” said a well placed source, “we need speedy and decisive stability- along with strong leadership”. It is unlikely that the situation will be resolved until Mr. Gandy returns from Front Romeu later this week, but Donaldson knows that he has just taken the biggest gamble of his career. Either it will work and he will lead LSAC, or it will fail and his career will be over before it ever really began.