DOCTORS FEAR FOR BOWSER

Some of the country's leading psychiatrists have voiced concerns as to the well being of 5,000m star, Matt Bowser. The Lincoln man has been the subject of national ridicule since he announced his intention to participate in the London Olympics and a recent video on the popular running forum for simpletons, eightlane seems to show Bowser having a mental breakdown.

"It's very worrying indeed" said a Dr Shrink from the University of North Dunstable's School of Psychiatry "you can clearly see that the lad is unwell. I would urge people not to approach him and contact the police if he is seen." Bowser's whereabouts is currently unknown and friends of the former European Cross Country Champion have called for him to come home. "This is going too far, Matt" said a source close to the star "let's give up these games and get things sorted."

The Police have stressed that Bowser is "not wanted in connection with any crime (for a change)" and that they were "purely concerned for his mental health". This comes less than a year after Bowser was the subject of a national manhunt in connection with a missing UKA Garmin.

BOWSER DEFENDS SHEFFIELD RUN

Matt Bowser's 2012 ambition is "alive and well" despite slumping to one of the worst performances of his career on Sunday. The Lincoln man - who the BBC think won the European title in 2006 - quit the sport at the end of last summer in mysterious circumstances and still faces a misconduct hearing at UKA over a missing Garmin. Having come out of retirement "with 2012 in mind", Bowser stormed to victory in Thursday's Armagh 5k leaving a stunned Johnny Mellor asking "whether he had completed the entire distance". However, his comeback appeared to have stalled on Sunday as he was well beaten in the 3,000m - struggling to a miserable 8:18 clocking.

"You see what happened was" explained Bowser "when I was on the way to the race my three wheel van broke down. I was then forced to steal a mobility scooter from an old aged pensioner and all this before I had even left the end of my street." The 5k star then recounted how he had "driven the scooter into the ground" but only got half a mile closer to Sheffield. Fortunately he had also snatched the old lady's hand bag and so had enough money to pay for a cab - to Manchester. "I figured that the race was there" said a bemused Bowser "I then had to get a plane to Madrid, which is in France I believe. Then I got a plane to New York, then London and got a train to Sheffield from there - it was a nightmare."

Bowser arrived "just 6 minutes before the start" having only had a warm of "twelve miles" from the train station. "Given the circumstances and the fact that I was tired from Armagh, I'm not too disappointed" he said "I am still very much in the running for 2012".

PRESS ATTENTION FORCES BOWSER OUT

Matt Bowser has launched a scathing attack on the media this evening, stating that the repeated invasions of his private life have forced him to retire from athletics. Bowser was speaking ahead of what will be very difficult headlines for the former Lincoln man in tomorrow's Sunday newspapers. The News of The World claims to have a "significant scoop" implicating Bowser in some "highly untoward behaviour". Bowser has denied that his retirement has anything to do with the "pathetic crap" that will be written about him.

"The fact is that I have had enough," the ex-3:43 1500m man said, "the press follow me everywhere and it has got to the point that I cannot race anywhere in the UK for fear of the media". Bowser dismissed rumours that he had been banned from all UK Athletics events following revelations surrounding a missing Garmin. He told the popular running forum, Eightlane that he was "kust [sic] taking a back seat and enjoying my running" and had firm parting words for the posters. "At the end of the day there are not may [sic] guys who have broken 1.50 for 800 and 30 min for 10k so im happy with what [I] have achieved" stormed the man who predicted that he would break 3:38 for 1500m this summer.

Nobody from UK Athletics was available for comment this evening, but it seems likely that they will be forced to break silence tomorrow. With the News of The World promising "revelations that will strike at to the heart of the sport," it could be a tough first day back for the UKA press team.

THE LUFBRA ECHO: 100 POSTS OLD

Despite protestations that the site would be “closed down”, the Lufbra Echo today reaches a significant milestone: this is the 100th post. Ahead of an extended holiday for the busy editorial team, and largely because we can’t think of anything else to write, we thought that we would re-hash some of the best bits over the past few months. Cheap and lazy journalism? Well, possibly. But to be fair in two hours of live athletics coverage on Tuesday morning, the BBC spent well over half of it reminiscing about the Barcelona 1992 Olympics, so we feel we are due our own look back. Make yourself a nice cup of tea, sit back and enjoy our look over the top 10 moments in Echo history. Simply click on the number to read the story.

NUMBER 10: It was us who first broke the news that the now European 10,000m champion Mo Farah had had to give up on his hope of scooping the BBC Masterchef crown.

NUMBER 9: Ryan McLeod makes his first appearance in the countdown after he and Nick McCormick broke Loughborough’s pricy Alter-G treadmill.

NUMBER 8: Bowser, a European Cross Champion? Surely not. Err, well according to the BBC he was.

NUMBER 7: And a welcome first entry for the Echo’s award winning Portugal coverage. Here, there are concerns before the annual influx of distance runners even arrive in the Algarve.

NUMBER 6: Justice for LaShawn! The Echo sensitively discusses the drug cheat’s private issues.

NUMBER 5: UKA shocked everyone with their World Cross Selection. We had our own exclusive twist on the story.

NUMBER 4: It’s that man again! Ryan McLeod was in trouble after calling the emergency services for his damaged iPhone

NUMBER 3: It’s a bronze for the much praised coverage of the McLeod-Russell spat. The Echo was thanked by the Sports Journalists Association for our sensitive articles.

NUMBER 2: POST DELETED DUE TO ONGOING LEGAL FIGHT. Uh oh! It looks like we can’t bring you our silver medallist as we are still entrenched in a bitter and drawn out courtroom drama!

NUMBER 1: Well it had to come down to something on Portugal didn’t it? Yep, you guessed it- the gold medal Echo article as voted for by our research department is the report following a “night of scandal” in Vilamoura. Happy memories.

The Echo will now be on holiday until something interesting happens, if it ever does.

MATT BOWSER: EUROPEAN CROSS COUNTRY CHAMPION 2006?

“As with many athletes of Matt’s age,” chortled the BBC Lincolnshire website in 2007, “it’s the Beijing Olympics that are at the forefront of his mind rather than London in 2012”. Listing Bowser as one of “Lincolnshire's stars of 2012”, the article’s scribe - Tom Brown - cooed over the Lincolnshire man's "new personal best set earlier in 2007". Brown's story also contained a revelation that will come as news to many in the athletics world: “Previous achievements in his career also include winning the Men’s Senior Race at the European Cross Country Championships in 2006”. Really? Surely this couldn’t be the same European Championships that the BBC’s very own website hailed an impressive Mo Farah as he “blazed his way to victory” in the very same race? Could it? Oddly, the European Athletics Association have no recollection of a Matthew Bowser representing Great Britain at any age group category that year. By pure coincidence, a certain Bowser was busy recording a personal record for 10km at the Leeds Abbey Dash on November 26th- the very same weekend of the Team GB trial race in Liverpool. There is no record of him competing again that season. Happily, the European success is listed as Bowser’s “Greatest Achievement to Date” and his coach of the time rated his chances of making it to 2012 as “good”. Great work, Matt. Next stop that illusive world record!

NEWS UPDATE

TEENAGE KICKS: Gerrard hopes to transfer his "passion" for working with youngsters to athletics

GERRARD EYES COACHING ROLE

Steven Gerrard is “actively considering” taking up a job within UKA after he retires from football, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The multi-millionaire Liverpudlian- who captained England during their recent failure at the World Cup- has said that he wants to “give something back” to the country once his footballing days end. “I enjoy working with kids,” Gerrard said from his hide-out in Mexico, “I think that football is being tarnished somewhat and I watch athletics on the television a fair bit. I think I could add a lot of value.” Gerrard has often been praised for his “enormous heart and lungs” when on and off the football pitch and UKA officials are secretly hoping he can turn that fitness and fighting (in a purely self-defensive way) spirit to “transforming British distance running”. However, an insider revealed that it was unlikely Gerrard would be let loose on the senior ranks for a while. “It’s a tricky business and it will take time,” said the source, “Steven has a particularly positive impact on the ladies and so we are thinking of assigning him to the Junior Girls. I doubt he can do much harm there and can move on to the grown-ups when he is ready.”

MISERABLE McLEOD FORCED TO RUE MISSED SOLIHULL OPPORTUNITY

Ryan McLeod has conceded that he made a “catastrophic error” in opting for a race in Belgium over the BMC Solihull Grand Prix. The Tipton Harrier was left red faced when he was only able to chalk up his third fastest 5000m performance at the Belgium meeting, whilst the Solihull event was won by landscape gardener, Mark Draper. Disappointed Eightlaners were upset at missing a potential showdown between the pair: “this is the guy who bleats at not being given paid trips [14:01] his dad [Olympic Silver Medallist, Mike McLeod] would have been embarressed [sic] to be offered anythig [sic] for that,” thundered ‘shouldhebepaid’ in reference to the fact that McLeod had to pay for his journey. A spokesman for the McLeod camp said that his charge was “saddened” to hear that the Eightlane community were getting exercised again. “Obviously, Ryan would rather have been involved in a race where two people broke 14:20 as opposed to one where ten ran under 13:50, but these things happen,” said the source, adding that he was “deeply sorry” to anyone who had taken exception to his race choices.

ASTON TO BLAME: WHITTLE

Ed Aston has been blamed for Rob Whittle's calamitous closing 150m in the ‘B’ race of the 1500m at Solihull on Saturday evening. The Loughborough star slammed Aston for running “an inspirational race” just moments before his own. “I watched that and as a result went out too hard,” sighed Whittle after the race, “it’s all his [Aston’s] fault. I hope he is happy now.” Aston was imperious in front running the majority of his race and being rewarded with a 1:47.96 PB. A Loughborough spokesman has confirmed that they will be asking the BMC to caution the Cambridge & Coleridge star against running so well again. “It just isn’t on to expect other athletes to watch superb performances like that and then go out and run sensibly,” said the official, “frankly we think it’s a little selfish.”

POLICE IN BOWSER FOUL UP

Police have thanked readers of the Lufbra Echo for their help in trying to locate the missing athlete Matt Bowser, but have been forced to concede that they bungled a move to intercept him on Sunday evening. “Mr. Bowser arrived back at Stansted airport after a race oversees,” said Dt. Supt. Lukatme who is leading the investigation, “somehow he gave us the slip. We are still looking for him and once again worn against approaching this man.” In an ironic twist, it seems likely that Bowser escaped the police by using the Garmin that UKA are trying to locate. UKA officials have spoken of Charles Van Commenee’s “sleepless nights” over the missing gadget and reiterated an appeal for its safe return. “Please, Matt have the heart to bring the Garmin home,” said the press secretary, “it’s never too late”.

POLICE IN FRESH BOWSER APPEAL

ON THE RUN: Police have warned the public not to approach Mr. Bowser

Police hunting UKA’s most wanted athlete, Matt Bowser have issued a fresh appeal for help this evening. It is believed that the Lincoln man has disappeared with a “cherished” Garmin and owes “at least one” athlete some money. The 3:43 1500m man- who was linked to a drugs scandal earlier this year- has been missing for “a few days” and although stopping short of offering a reward for his capture, police have said they “would really appreciate” some information on his whereabouts. “Mr. Bowser is not to be approached under any circumstances,” said Dt. Supt. Lukatme, “he could be carrying anything from a spike key to some recovery shake and could cause serious harm. If any member of the public sees him, they should report it to a Police Officer immediately.”

Specially trained administrators have been drafted in from UKA’s offices in the quest for the missing Garmin. At their own press conference today, a UKA spokesman called on the Lincoln man to safely return the gadget. “I want to say this to Mr. Bowser,” said Ian Stewart’s press secretary, “it’s not too late. All we want is the Garmin back where it belongs safe and sound. We can deal with the other problems later. Matt, from the bottom of our UKA pockets, we ask you to just bring the Garmin home.” It is hoped that the emotive appeal- along with three days of expensive press advertising- will prise Bowser from wherever he is hiding. However, many believe that Bowser is unlikely to be seen again. “He’s done a runner,” opined a taxi driver close to where the star athlete grew up, “he used to run off without paying for taxi rides when he was a lad…..still owes me £4.50 from 1997”.

Do you know where Matt Bowser is hiding? Can you help us find him? If you know anything, however minor or insignificant you think it is, please contact the Echo to help us catch the wretch (and in doing so seek a load of good publicity and get “in there” with UKA!) The Echo is offering a free Parker pen to the first person to provide useful information, so get hunting!

NEWS ROUND-UP

With election fever gripping Britain, the Echo focuses on what's important and rounds up all that is new in France, Loughborough and beyond.....

McLEOD RUES DRIVING DECISION

Ryan McLeod has refused to drive his car back to the United Kingdom in the wake of allegations that travel mates, Lewis Moses and Johnny Mellor are not taking their navigational responsibilities seriously. The journey to Front Romeu- some 1,000 miles- took significantly longer than slated after McLeod made several “basic errors” in his directional choice. Mellor revealed earlier this month that he was “livid” with his driver as he refused to follow the instructions of the Sat Nav. However, yesterday Mellor went further, revealing that the convoy had “gone via Poland” in a bid to reach the altitude camp before nightfall. “I couldn’t care less if that daft lad doesn’t want to drive home,” said Mellor, “I’m quite happy to steal the car and drive myself.”

McLeod is rumoured to have been recalled from Barcelona airport having “forgotten” that he was due to drive back to the UK. It was only when he returned to the UKA base that it was revealed that he was having second thoughts over the decision. The Tipton Harrier was remaining silent this morning and refused to take any calls from journalists, but it looks as if days of negotiations lie ahead. UKA have called in specialist negotiators in to try and bring the crisis to a swift end, but it seems that there are “fundamental disagreements” between the two parties. An insider said, “Ryan thinks that Lewis and Johnny should take their role as navigators more seriously. He is also demanding that only songs from his iPod be played throughout the journey.” McLeod, who has a personalised number plate in order to help him remember which car is his, courted criticism on a recent day trip when he ditched conventional roads in an effort to beat George Gandy to a restaurant. His passengers, who have asked not to be named, told of a “terrifying” plunge down a number of ski slopes.

RANKINGS GAFFE INFRURIATES EMERY

Stephen Emery has said that he is “seriously considering” his participation in the Loughborough International later this month after Ian Anholm made an extraordinary error when typing up the latest LSAC rankings. “Why on earth am I not ranked number 1?” fumed the BUCS Outdoor 5,000m Bronze medallist, “who is that nobody, Wall-Clarke? I beat him in the heat and yet he is down as beating me. I am outraged.” Emery told of how this was the latest in a long line of bust ups with Anholm. “He never willingly gives me physio vouchers,” said the Coventry man, “he looks me up and down in a way that says ‘you’re not entitled to them’. Well I think my performance last week [at BUCS] shows that I am.” Anholm refused to comment on the allegation that he “had it in” for Emery, but did concede that the rankings could be wrong. “How am I supposed to get them all right?” protested the Admin supremo, “all I know is that he [Emery] was going backwards in the heat and so I may have assumed Wall-Clarke beat him.”

Anholm stopped short of issuing an apology and instead launched an attack of his own on Emery. Labelling the star “arrogant and dismissive”, Anholm revealed that he had had “a number” of complaints about Emery’s attitude since scooping the medal. “I have heard that he has been surging in runs and then celebrating as if he had won another medal. He also demanded that a fresher clean his spikes the other day and that isn’t on.” It is likely that George Gandy will set out a new disciplinary structure for LSAC upon his return from France, as it has become clear that the guru’s bungling deputies, David Howe and Alasdair Donaldson, are unable to control big names such as Emery. A source for the LSAC chief said, “George is looking forward to the challenge of righting a few wrongs when he gets back. He is disappointed to hear of some of the antics that have occurred in his absence”.

TALCUM POWDER ERROR LEAVES BOWSER EMBROILED IN DRUGS SCANDAL

Matthew Bowser has apologised to his “many fans” for using a brand of talcum powder that contains banned substances. An insider at Bowser’s Front Romeu camp revealed how the sub-30 10k man only realised his gaffe when it was too late. “He offered it around to the other lads,” said our source, “he said that it left his skin feeling wonderfully soft and re-hydrated. Thankfully, Johnny Mellor thought to check the label.” Bowser was forced to admit his wrongs to UKA chiefs and it is thought that the governing body has now launched a “damage limitation” exercise. The City of Sheffield man is “co-operating fully” with French authorities and it is likely that he will be let off with a “firm warning”.

Speaking at a press conference before travelling home this morning Bowser said, “I am one hundred percent responsible. The friendly man in Holland and Barrett never mentioned that there was an issue with it, but I should have asked.” The Lincoln based star went on, “it’s just that I have always struggled with dry and flaky skin- this powder solved those issues and so it is with a heavy heart that I stop using it.” UKA chief Charles Van Commenee sat in on the press conference, but would not be drawn on what sanctions await Bowser. “Let me be clear,” said the performance supremo, “Matthew is only guilty of wanting fresh, peachy skin like that of myself. He has not knowingly committed a doping violation.” Van Commenee went on to state that there had been no noticeable improvement in Bowser’s performances whilst using the powder. “It is unlikely that he inhaled enough to make any real difference,” said the Dutchman, “if he had been finishing sessions and races or producing unbelievable times it would be more of an issue. But he hasn’t so it’s fine”.

Both Van Commenee and Bowser stated that they were “absolutely dedicated” to a drug free sport and that Bowser would be giving a series of lectures on the “dangers of dermatological products” in competition. It is likely that the 14:13 5k man will be counting his blessings that this was discovered before it was too late. Only a fortnight ago, LaShawn Merritt was slapped with a lengthy ban for using a “male enhancement drug”.