ALL CROSS COUNTRY EVENTS CANCELLED: UKA

All Cross Country events for the rest of the season have been cancelled because of the snow. UK Athletics released a brief statement this evening blaming Dwain Chambers for the extraordinary action and advising all race organisers against flouting the regulation. The spokesman did not rule out banning the sport all together "in the interests of everyone" but said that the governing body would "make every effort" to run some semblance of a calender next season. The news comes as the majority of Western European governing bodies take similar action, with USA Track and Field holding a crisis meeting early next week. The World Cross - set to take place in Spain next year - has already been axed.

CHRISTMAS 'LIKELY TO BE CANCELLED': SANTA CLAUSE

Lapland have confirmed that they are "seriously considering" cancelling Christmas in the UK, the Lufbra Echo can reveal. It is understood that a "growing concern" over treacherous snow and ice has forced Santa to question whether it is will be possible to make his rounds this year. Last year, the 134 year-old was treated for minor abrasions after losing control of his sleigh at over 1,000,000,000 miles per hour and it is understood that he does not want to take the same "insane risk" again this year. "It is with great regret that we must announce that Christmas could be delayed to the new year" said a red faced elf "we are looking into organising something in June when the weather is more conducive to delivering gifts on a mass scale."

The move has been heavily criticised by many, with some calling for the immediate resignation of Father Christmas. "It is absolutely outrageous" thundered a spokesperson for the Easter Bunny "you'd never get our organisation cancelling a major event because of a bit of snow. We have a responsibility to everyone." Whilst Lapland chiefs desperately try to thrash out some form of "contract agreement" with DHL, others have offered some defence of the organisation. "It is an impossible situation" said the health and safety officer for the Tooth Fairy "we all know that Santa has a very large workload and these conditions are unprecedented. I don't think any of us would want a tragic accident."

This is not the first time Santa has hit controversy. In 2006, he was cleared by the Court of Appeal of driving whilst under the influence of alcohol after his legal team argued that reindeer do not count as motorised vehicles. And back in 2004 he nearly caused a major incident at Heathrow Airport after forgetting to get Air Traffic Control clearance before making deliveries in Hounslow.

OLYMPIC GAMES TO BE CANCELLED DUE TO SNOW: EXCLUSIVE

The 2012 Olympic Games are set to be cancelled due to snow and ice, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. Tonight, Lord Sebastian Coe KBE is locked in talks with London Council chiefs who have axed the Games over "legitimate and serious safety concerns." Stratford Borough Council - who were alleged to have fined Christine Ohuruogu over a litter infraction earlier this year - have said that they were left with "no choice" but to revoke the licence for the event "in the interests of athletes and spectators alike".

"It is something we have agonised over" said a senior spokesman "but in truth, we simply cannot guarantee that this snow will not occur in 2012". It is believed that there are fears that similar scenes to those witnessed all over the country this evening will be repeated at the Olympics. Athletes have been forced indoors across the nation by the adverse weather, with Loughborough's 800m squad being forced to do laps of George Gandy's office in a dramatic bid to avoid getting cold. "Just imagine if we had to move the Javelin indoors," continued the Counsellor "it would be even more dangerous than doing it on the ice."

Lord Coe KBE has slammed the Council's decision, calling it "the most outrageous case of anal retentiveness in the history of mankind." The Baron went on to state that the team were looking at alternatives that included shifting the whole operation to one of the Channel Islands. The Right Honourable Gentleman has a vested interest in ensuring that the Games go ahead as he stands to gain a £10m bonus on successful completion. "I am paid on results" thundered his Lordship "and these working class nobodies are about to take food out of my children's mouths".