Jonathan Edwards has said that he would be "honoured" to light the Olympic torch at next year's London Olympics. The announcement comes just days after Dame Kelly Holmes launched her own bid to become the flame bearer under the strapline DK to Shoot Up. Holmes, who says that she is "the clear choice", told her On Camp With Kelly group that they must "forget about" their summer seasons and spend their time "hitting Facebook, Twitter and everything else" to get the bid going. Holmes is understood to count Edwards amongst her key rivals.
"I'm not saying that I'm putting myself forward" Edwards told Radio Five Live "but it would be a real honour. I know that Seb [His Lordship, Sebastian Newbold Coe] and I go way back and it would be nice to think that loyalty is repaid - not that I'm interested". The Triple Jump World Record holder - whom the echo revealed to be a twerp last year - dismissed a suggestion that fellow BBC commentator Steve Cram could be in with a shout: "it's a real shame Steve never managed to get that Olympic Gold. I guess that that is a pre-requisite".
Meanwhile, the Office of His Lordship have confirmed that they have received "a number of gifts" for the Baron in recent weeks. It is understood that Brendan Foster sent in a "selection of his favourite cakes", David Beckham provided a case of fine wine, whilst Tom Daly (the diver) sent in his favourite cuddly toy. Kelly Sotherton is believed to have emailed a video file marked "for the Lord's eyes only" as her pitch for glory.
"These bribes won't make a difference" said the Lord's Deputy Director of Being Like An Everyday Guy (North West Region) "the BBC have already stipulated that the Opening Ceremony must feature Jessica Ennis in every shot, so our hands are tied on this one. We did however really enjoy eating the chocolates that Paula Radcliffe sent in".
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
COE OFFERED 'CAN OF COKE' TO IOC CHIEFS SHOCK
Lord Sebastian Coe is facing a fight for his career and credibility this evening after it was revealed that the Head of London 2012 offered to "buy all the IOC executives a can of coke" just days before they were due to vote on the destination of the 2012 Games. The revelations come just over a year before the Games' Opening Ceremony and officials in Paris (who lost out to London) have called for them to be "postponed" until an investigation can be carried out.
A furious Paris insider blasted the "disgusting unfairness" of the selection process. "I think it is very unfair" thundered Olympic Minister Jean-Pierre Le Frog "for me, the Olympics must be decided by the best bid and not who has the right money for the vending machine." Le Frog dismissed allegations that his own bid team were responsible for offering the decision makers "a bottle of Orangina" for both them and a partner. "This is nonsense, total nonsense" he blasted "what is not nonsense is what we have always said- this [Lord] Coe is nasty and very strange".
A Senior 2012 Official confirmed that his Lordship had been made aware of the story and that they had "no comment other than to make it clear that they intend to go ahead as planned on July 27th". It is not yet clear whether any of the IOC Chiefs took up Coe's offer, but is understood that some were alienated when Diet Coke was not available.
A furious Paris insider blasted the "disgusting unfairness" of the selection process. "I think it is very unfair" thundered Olympic Minister Jean-Pierre Le Frog "for me, the Olympics must be decided by the best bid and not who has the right money for the vending machine." Le Frog dismissed allegations that his own bid team were responsible for offering the decision makers "a bottle of Orangina" for both them and a partner. "This is nonsense, total nonsense" he blasted "what is not nonsense is what we have always said- this [Lord] Coe is nasty and very strange".
A Senior 2012 Official confirmed that his Lordship had been made aware of the story and that they had "no comment other than to make it clear that they intend to go ahead as planned on July 27th". It is not yet clear whether any of the IOC Chiefs took up Coe's offer, but is understood that some were alienated when Diet Coke was not available.
Monday, 25 April 2011
NEWS ROUND UP
'NO CONCERN' OVER OLYMPIC FUNDING: COE
ENNIS 'NOT FAZED' BY MEDIA HYPE
Jessica Ennis has denied that she has been distracted by the special attention she has received since winning the World Championships in 2009. The Heptathlete has been the subject of fierce media scrutiny ever since the BBC revealed plans for an annual "Jess Day" where they show 24 hours of non-stop Ennis related programming on BBC 1 and BBC Radio Five Live. Although the idea has been quietly dropped, it is understood that BBC producers have now rented homes up and down Ennis' Sheffield street in order to be the first to break any "Jess News". A Beeb insider told the echo that the £10m project was already paying off. "Last week and eagle eyed report spotted that Jess has brought 1% milk instead of the usual semi-skimmed" enthused the senior executive "it prompted a series of stories on the benefits of such a move. Unfortunately we had to retract them all when we spotted a return to the usual green tops the following day". Earlier this year, Ennis called for "a thorough review" of Facebook usage after Kelly Sotherton was accused of hacking into her account.
SMITH CALLS FOR NEWHAM FOCUS
Newham's manager Bob Smith has called for his athletes to remain "focussed on the task at hand" ahead of the new season. The club are in serious financial difficulty and are badly in need of the funding that a third successive Premiership title would bring. "I have sat the lads down" said Smith "and told them to forget everything but running". It is understood that the club will be unable to maintain the £150m annual wage bill "much past June" and players are being encouraged by their agents to look for other clubs.
FARAH FUMING AT ROYAL SNUB
Mo Farah has claimed to of "lost sleep" over his "derisory" seating position at Friday's Royal Wedding. The GB International is well known to be a personal friend of Prince William and has been snapped on regular shooting jaunts with the Royals around the Balmoral estate. Farah is upset after being assigned a seat towards the back of Westminster Abbey and is "next to a bunch of no hopers" according to the 5k star. "I am seventeenth in line to be best man" thundered Farah "how can I be treated so badly? I'm sitting next to Nick Clegg - it's going to be awful".
Thursday, 14 April 2011
COULD 'ALIEN INVASION' THREATEN 2012 TICKET PRICES?
The possibility of a "killer alien invasion" may result in a rise in the Olympic ticket prices. According to a report seen by the lufbra echo, 2012 security chiefs have called for an increase in funding in a bid to combat the potential of a deadly attack from "Martian beings". It is understood that Lord Coe - who is in charge of organising the Games - is concerned that 2012 could dangerously coincide with ancient prophesies that the world will end in 2012. "We're all going to die" laughed an Olympic insider "in all seriousness though, we need to take any threat to athlete security very gravely".
The head of 2012 security has asked for a £500m grant from LOCOG in order to purchase the latest "SkySCANNER" that can detect aliens from "millions of miles away". The report urges London heads to take the threat seriously and suggests that the move could be paid for by "getting the protected spectators" to foot the bill. "It's a no brainer in my opinion" concluded the informal prologue to the report "the fact is that the world should come to its end next year and I would hate for it to happen on my watch". Ticket prices could therefore go up by "at least 35%".
The IOC have recently been forced to deny speculation that the Games themselves were to be moved to 2011 in order to avoid the clash with Armageddon. "It was never discussed" said a spokesman for the President "the Olympics will go ahead in 2012. Regardless of the world ending or not".
The head of 2012 security has asked for a £500m grant from LOCOG in order to purchase the latest "SkySCANNER" that can detect aliens from "millions of miles away". The report urges London heads to take the threat seriously and suggests that the move could be paid for by "getting the protected spectators" to foot the bill. "It's a no brainer in my opinion" concluded the informal prologue to the report "the fact is that the world should come to its end next year and I would hate for it to happen on my watch". Ticket prices could therefore go up by "at least 35%".
The IOC have recently been forced to deny speculation that the Games themselves were to be moved to 2011 in order to avoid the clash with Armageddon. "It was never discussed" said a spokesman for the President "the Olympics will go ahead in 2012. Regardless of the world ending or not".
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
BERLINO BACKS WENLOCK TO IMPROVE
The 2009 IAAF World Championship mascot, Berlino the bear has spoken out in favour of his under-fire London 2012 counterpart, Wenlock. The mascot for the Olympic Games has looked out of sorts this year and many have called for his removal by Paralympic mascot, Mandeville. Speaking to Richard Keys and Andy Gray on TalkSPORT, Berlino called the criticism of Wenlock "unfair and completely ridiculous". "A double act is always going to be tough" said the bear from his retirement home in Barbados "Wenlock will find his feet, you can be sure of that. He is world class." Berlino went onto deny speculation that Lord Sebastian Coe has approached him to take over from the "bland" Wenlock.
Berlino attended the International Mascot College in the United States with both Wenlock and Mandeville and so claims to be in "an ideal position" to judge between the two of them. "Wenlock is a big game player. He will only get his act together when it matters - over a year out from the Games, does it really matter?" Berlino was hailed as one of the greatest mascots of all time after his tremendous performance in Berlin just under two years ago. But the going wasn't always that easy. "I was slated by the German press in the run up to the event" explained Berlino "they all said I couldn't cut it and that I didn't have the moves. You've got to rise above it all".
Reports in the weekend's Telegraph linked Berlino with a possible shock move to London next year. "No way" laughed the bear "I couldn't take that pressure anymore. I can honestly say that Seb [Coe] and I have never had any such discussions. Besides, Wenlock is doing a fine job". Berlino did, however, reveal that he had not ruled out a "guest appearance" at the forthcoming World Championships in Daegu. "Why not? I couldn't do the whole thing, but if they call me and say 'Berlino - we want you to come to dance with Usain [Bolt]' then I'd be up for it." Whilst revealing the design of the official mascot, IAAF Chiefs are still yet to name it - a delay that Berlino says is "cruel". "How can he have an identity without a name?" he blasted "it's very poor indeed and a sign of how badly mascots are treated nowadays".
Berlino attended the International Mascot College in the United States with both Wenlock and Mandeville and so claims to be in "an ideal position" to judge between the two of them. "Wenlock is a big game player. He will only get his act together when it matters - over a year out from the Games, does it really matter?" Berlino was hailed as one of the greatest mascots of all time after his tremendous performance in Berlin just under two years ago. But the going wasn't always that easy. "I was slated by the German press in the run up to the event" explained Berlino "they all said I couldn't cut it and that I didn't have the moves. You've got to rise above it all".
Reports in the weekend's Telegraph linked Berlino with a possible shock move to London next year. "No way" laughed the bear "I couldn't take that pressure anymore. I can honestly say that Seb [Coe] and I have never had any such discussions. Besides, Wenlock is doing a fine job". Berlino did, however, reveal that he had not ruled out a "guest appearance" at the forthcoming World Championships in Daegu. "Why not? I couldn't do the whole thing, but if they call me and say 'Berlino - we want you to come to dance with Usain [Bolt]' then I'd be up for it." Whilst revealing the design of the official mascot, IAAF Chiefs are still yet to name it - a delay that Berlino says is "cruel". "How can he have an identity without a name?" he blasted "it's very poor indeed and a sign of how badly mascots are treated nowadays".
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
Sunday, 10 April 2011
OLYMPIC TRAFFIC 'COULD PARK IN MANCHESTER'
Plans are afoot to build a 25,000 space car park specially for the Olympic Stadium - in Manchester. The echo understands that the idea has been "highly recommended" by Olympic Chiefs in a dramatic bid to avoid high parking charged in East London. "Spectators could park up there and then get a free bus down to London" enthused an insider "it will really free up traffic in Central London".
It is understood that organisers are under pressure to make these Games "the greenest ever" and argue that this - along with their baffling ticket policy - will make a huge contribution. "We figured that if we make it difficult enough for people to come and watch, they will just stay at home and watch it on the television," continued the source "it's not really worth coming anyway - you'll get a much better view from the sofa".
Whilst spokespeople were quick to point out that the plan was "one of a number of possibilities", papers seen by the echo suggest that building work could begin as early as next month. "We are not actively discouraging attendance" said the spokesman, fresh from his role at the Delhi Commonwealth Games "but people should think about whether they really need to come first. We advise against all but essential travel".
Saturday, 9 April 2011
COE IN FIGHT FOR OFFICE SPACE AFTER FUNDING CUT
Lord Sebastian Coe may be forced to move into a "downstairs office" after the BOA announced they are to pursue funds they believe are owed to them by the organising committee. His Lordship is said to be "fuming" that such a drastic measure is being considered but insiders told the echo that they "have absolutely no choice". "Our funding is falling all the time" said the source "continuing to sustain a 2,000 square metre suite complete with a jacuzzi and personal masseuse is simply not sustainable". The office space - which is exclusively for the Lord's use - costs around £1m a week in rent alone.
Lord Coe - who insists on being called 'The Baron' by 2012 workers - revealed privately that he "would do anything" to avoid being "shoved downstairs with a bunch of nobodies". It is understood that the former 800m world record holder is pushing for the Paralympics to be "downsized" rather than sacrifice his much admired office. The committee's Deputy Director of Lord Coe's Ties (Radio Appearances, Northern Europe) told the echo that his boss was "getting desperate" and that he had "blown a gasket" when told that he could no longer claim nights out at London's Ritz Hotel on expenses.
These revelations come at the end of a difficult week for London 2012. The man in charge of organising the marathons, Dave Bedford, branded the Lord "unworkable" after it was suggested that the women's event could be "shortened in order to save time". Elsewhere, a delegation from the IOC were left stranded on a London Underground train fro 17 hours after workers walked out on strike and their guide "forgot all about them".
Lord Coe - who insists on being called 'The Baron' by 2012 workers - revealed privately that he "would do anything" to avoid being "shoved downstairs with a bunch of nobodies". It is understood that the former 800m world record holder is pushing for the Paralympics to be "downsized" rather than sacrifice his much admired office. The committee's Deputy Director of Lord Coe's Ties (Radio Appearances, Northern Europe) told the echo that his boss was "getting desperate" and that he had "blown a gasket" when told that he could no longer claim nights out at London's Ritz Hotel on expenses.
These revelations come at the end of a difficult week for London 2012. The man in charge of organising the marathons, Dave Bedford, branded the Lord "unworkable" after it was suggested that the women's event could be "shortened in order to save time". Elsewhere, a delegation from the IOC were left stranded on a London Underground train fro 17 hours after workers walked out on strike and their guide "forgot all about them".
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
OLYMPIC ROUND UP
VERNON 'MISTAKE' BREAKS 2012 CLOCK
 |
| STOPPAGE TIME: Vernon 'did not know' the clock required constant power |
Andy Vernon has apologised after mistakenly pulling the plug on the 'Countdown to 2012' clock in Central London. The Aldershot man told his official website that he had "had a nightmare" when looking for somewhere to charge the battery on his mobile phone. Organisers have called the blunder "hugely embarrassing" and have not ruled out handing Vernon a hefty bill.
TICKETS 'SHOULDN'T BE SOLD TO POOR PEOPLE': COE
Lord Coe looks set to cause a stir after claiming that tickets for blue-ribboned events should only be sold to "the most well off" and "uneducated tramps" should not be allowed in. "The Games is not for everyone" said his Lordship "it would be dreadful to have commoners wandering around in the background of the 100m". It is understood that LOCOG will be banning the wearing of hoodies, low hanging jeans and anything made by Burberry in a bid to discourage "hoipolloi" from coming near.
ENNIS GETS COLD, BBC IN CRISIS
The BBC are preparing for what senior executives have called "the worst case scenario" after Jessica Ennis caught a cold sidelining the World Heptathlon Champion for "at least a day". "An Olympics without Jess would not be an Olympics at all" said the BBC's Director of Ennis Output (Southern Region) "worse still, if she turns up and then doesn't win - hours of pre-prepared footage will be wasted". A Beeb insider told the echo that the Corporation had rushed a "dedicated medic" to be at Ennis' side and denied that they were overreacting.
OLYMPICS 'COST A FORTUNE' SHOCK
The British sporting world is reeling from the news that the Olympic Games actually cost a lot of money. Furious protestors have taken to the streets of the East End to demand that the "wasteful" projects are halted immediately and a 24 hour Asda is built in place of the Olympic Stadium. It is understood that the Games Cleaning Directorate (fresh from the Commonwealth Games cleaning project) are about to walk out in sympathy. "I am shocked at how much this is all costing" said a senior executive at Lloyds Banking Group "I really do wonder how Lord Coe and his team sleep at night"
Monday, 14 March 2011
RUNNING IS 'HARD WORK': REPORT
The sport of long distance running is "jolly difficult" according to a report seen by the lufbra echo. The news comes as some runners at last weekend's Trafford 10k complained of "shortness of breath" at the finish. "I got to 3k" gasped Ricky Stevenson after finishing 3rd "and thought 'this is going to be tough'....at 5k I felt worse". Despite rumours that Stevenson had "forgotten" about the race and so trained hard in the run up, many have said that this is the clearest evidence yet that the sport can be difficult.
Professor W A Ster from the University of North Dubstable who is the lead author of the paper, told the lufbra echo that his findings should "make everyone sit up and pay attention". "It goes along way to explaining why people struggled to convert their dreams into reality" explained the man who found running to be a healthy form of exercise last year "I think that UK Athletics should take this very seriously".
A key finding from the report was that in order to excel in athletics "a significant amount of hard training is required". However, sources close to several top athletes have slammed the findings as "ridiculous". "Hard work never got anyone anywhere" thundered Nick Goolab's Deputy Director of Bag Carrying Affairs "this is just a silly myth designed to scare people - Nick has gone straight for a blood test as a result".
It is not yet clear what the implications of the study will be, but 2012 insiders have said that crisis meetings are to be held over the coming days. "This is what we call a game-changer" said a source "it could have a profound impact on how the Games are structured - if they go ahead at all."
Friday, 7 January 2011
WEEK IN PICTURES
NORTH KOREA SHOCK
GANDY IN DATE RIDDLE
2012 OLYMPICS UPDATE
* Editor's Note: Mr Donaldson does not have the time to read this site.
Monday, 27 December 2010
DEVONISH LATE NIGHT TV SHAME
Marlon Devonish is today facing a fight for his future after shocking revelations appeared in this morning's Daily Star. The former Olympic (Relay) Gold Medallist has been accused of staying up "into the early hours" watching "smutty shows from Australia" that involve 22 men "playing with bats and balls for days at a time". It is understood that this sick showing appears nightly on Sky and is known in the trade as "The Ashes".
Devonish has remained silent this morning and a spokesman for his club Coventry Godiva said that they were treating the incident "very seriously". "We believe that the show demonstrates rituals known as sledging and hitting each other for six," said the source "whilst I cannot speculate on Marlon's involvement in the viewing of such filth, it goes without saying that the club would be most concerned if that were to be the case."
Devonish - who was 34 this year - had previously said that he hoped to continue his career as long as the London Olympics in 2012, but it seems very likely that meeting organisers will now steer clear. Whilst shocked fans today pledged to "stand by" their man regardless of his alleged wrongdoing, others have been quick to distance themselves from the sprint ace stating that his behaviour has "cheapened the sport".
Devonish has remained silent this morning and a spokesman for his club Coventry Godiva said that they were treating the incident "very seriously". "We believe that the show demonstrates rituals known as sledging and hitting each other for six," said the source "whilst I cannot speculate on Marlon's involvement in the viewing of such filth, it goes without saying that the club would be most concerned if that were to be the case."
Devonish - who was 34 this year - had previously said that he hoped to continue his career as long as the London Olympics in 2012, but it seems very likely that meeting organisers will now steer clear. Whilst shocked fans today pledged to "stand by" their man regardless of his alleged wrongdoing, others have been quick to distance themselves from the sprint ace stating that his behaviour has "cheapened the sport".
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
OLYMPIC GAMES TO BE CANCELLED DUE TO SNOW: EXCLUSIVE
The 2012 Olympic Games are set to be cancelled due to snow and ice, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. Tonight, Lord Sebastian Coe KBE is locked in talks with London Council chiefs who have axed the Games over "legitimate and serious safety concerns." Stratford Borough Council - who were alleged to have fined Christine Ohuruogu over a litter infraction earlier this year - have said that they were left with "no choice" but to revoke the licence for the event "in the interests of athletes and spectators alike".
"It is something we have agonised over" said a senior spokesman "but in truth, we simply cannot guarantee that this snow will not occur in 2012". It is believed that there are fears that similar scenes to those witnessed all over the country this evening will be repeated at the Olympics. Athletes have been forced indoors across the nation by the adverse weather, with Loughborough's 800m squad being forced to do laps of George Gandy's office in a dramatic bid to avoid getting cold. "Just imagine if we had to move the Javelin indoors," continued the Counsellor "it would be even more dangerous than doing it on the ice."
Lord Coe KBE has slammed the Council's decision, calling it "the most outrageous case of anal retentiveness in the history of mankind." The Baron went on to state that the team were looking at alternatives that included shifting the whole operation to one of the Channel Islands. The Right Honourable Gentleman has a vested interest in ensuring that the Games go ahead as he stands to gain a £10m bonus on successful completion. "I am paid on results" thundered his Lordship "and these working class nobodies are about to take food out of my children's mouths".
"It is something we have agonised over" said a senior spokesman "but in truth, we simply cannot guarantee that this snow will not occur in 2012". It is believed that there are fears that similar scenes to those witnessed all over the country this evening will be repeated at the Olympics. Athletes have been forced indoors across the nation by the adverse weather, with Loughborough's 800m squad being forced to do laps of George Gandy's office in a dramatic bid to avoid getting cold. "Just imagine if we had to move the Javelin indoors," continued the Counsellor "it would be even more dangerous than doing it on the ice."
Lord Coe KBE has slammed the Council's decision, calling it "the most outrageous case of anal retentiveness in the history of mankind." The Baron went on to state that the team were looking at alternatives that included shifting the whole operation to one of the Channel Islands. The Right Honourable Gentleman has a vested interest in ensuring that the Games go ahead as he stands to gain a £10m bonus on successful completion. "I am paid on results" thundered his Lordship "and these working class nobodies are about to take food out of my children's mouths".
Sunday, 21 November 2010
NEWS ROUND UP
COE IN STADIUM NAMING RIDDLE
Lord Sebastian Coe KBE has lost his cool after being informed that the Olympic Stadium will not be called 'The Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe KBE is Brilliant Stadium'. It is understood that his Lordship presented the idea to fellow Olympic Chiefs last week who unanimously kicked it into touch. Speaking to the Lufbra Echo, Lord Coe said that the British Olympic Association were "ungrateful". "We are here because of me and I think that they should remember that" said the former 800m World Record holder "I think it is high time I got the sort of recognition that Lord Sugar gets." It is thought that Lord Coe is particularly upset that the BBC would not allow him to run his own version of Sugar's Apprentice in order to help him find a new butler. "How come someone like that [Sugar] - a commoner gets all the glamour, whilst I am here with nothing?" thundered the LOCOG Chairman, before breaking off the interview to go and shout at an architect "because he could".
BRENDAN FOSTER MAY QUIT BBC OVER CAKE ROW
Brendan Foster, for so long the voice of British athletics coverage, has handed the Beeb an ultimatum over cake, the Lufbra Echo understands. It is thought that Foster, who retired from running some years ago, is furious after he was told that only three types of cake would be provided at major athletics events from now on. An insider has told of how Mr Foster was "horrified" by the news and would "struggle to cope" with remaining awake for the entirety of the London Marathon without "at least ten" cakes on the go at once. "How would you feel if you were handed a 70% real terms pay cut?" asked a Foster representative "it's not his fault that the BBC have run out of money." The BBC declined to comment on the record this evening, but a source close to Beeb chiefs revealed that "they couldn't care less" if Foster leaves.
ROYAL COUPLE TO MARRY
Prince Robert Whittle of Loughborough has announced his engagement to Laura Kenny. It is understood that the Prince, second in line to the thrown currently occupied by King Guru Gandy III, proposed to Miss Kenny during a training run in the Outwoods and they will be married later this year. Cross Country Captain, Ben Snowball hailed a "wonderful day" for Loughborough and hoped that it would take everyone's mind of the continuing dismal showing at recent cross country events. Miss Kenny will become the Princess of Shepshed after the marriage and has said that she is "one hundred percent committed" to continuing with her career despite the change in circumstances.
HOWE ATHLETE RUNS PB SHOCK
An athlete coached by David Howe has run a personal best, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The result, which is believed to have come over 10km, has left many in the sport shocked. "This is absolutely crazy news" said one spectator, "it is going to turn the athletics world upside down." It is understood that the runner, who has asked not to be named, has engaged in some "solid" training over recent months and that is how the performance is being explained. An insider at Loughborough this evening dismissed the news as a "blip" and remained confident that normal service would soon be restored.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
NEWS IN BRIEF
WOMEN’S STEEPLE FACES HATCHET
The women’s 3,000m steeplechase will not be included in the programme for the 2012 Olympic Games, because Sebastian Coe “doesn’t much like” Hatti Dean. The former World 800m Record holder has been under pressure from the cost-cutting Coalition Government to somehow reduce the £9 billion budget currently set for the Games. In an extraordinary press conference, the Chairman of LOCOG attacked the steeplechase, branding it a “waste of space” and also reserved firm words for the “nasty and manipulative” Dean. “I hate her,” said Coe, “I hate the way she looks, I hate the way she runs and I hate the way she hurdles. If I had my way, I would just introduce a blanket ban on Deans being allowed to compete.” Coe is said to be upset because he "doesn't like hats". "What a stupid name!" thundered Coe, "I hate people who go around wearing hats- particularly in races, like that **** Dave Wottle".
McLEOD SNUB ANGERS UNIONS
Trade Unions have called for athletes and spectators to boycott the Super 8 series on Wednesday owing to the exclusion of Ryan McLeod. Unison, Unite, GMB and BECTU all balloted their members after the start lists were published and the results confirmed that 98.7% of members voted in favour of action. One Glasgow Council insider said: “our members work incredibly hard for their cash and demand the right to see McLeod lead a race only to be out-kicked in the closing stages. We couldn’t all make it down to Sport City and some idiot edited out the good bits on the video.” McLeod insiders have denied rumours that their man was offered a race but had to turn it down as he “did not know where Glasgow was”. One source said: “we can’t understand why he has been left out. He could run for just about anyone, but they all said no. It’s like someone has a grudge against him.” UKA have refused to comment on the strikes, but did say that they “regretted” having to overlook the Tipton man. A spokesman said: “we just didn’t have a need for any pacemakers on this occasion.”
GAY ‘BANNED FROM WINNING’ IN OREGON
The only non-Nike sponsored athlete to be permitted a race in the Pre Classic Diamond League meeting, Tyson Gay, has told the Lufbra Echo that he was told “not to win” just minutes before his race. “Some guy came up to be beforehand,” said Gay, “and said that he would ruin by career if I didn’t let Dix win”. It was also alleged that Gay was given “sticky blocks” meaning that he was delayed slightly at the start. A Nike spokesman was unrepentant when challenged on the issue: “how embarrassing would it be if an Adidas athlete won a race?” said the source, “that’s like saying that you don’t need to wear Nike kit to be the best. Also, Tyson has an unfortunate surname and we couldn’t have a Dix finishing behind a Gay- we have family values, you know!”
The women’s 3,000m steeplechase will not be included in the programme for the 2012 Olympic Games, because Sebastian Coe “doesn’t much like” Hatti Dean. The former World 800m Record holder has been under pressure from the cost-cutting Coalition Government to somehow reduce the £9 billion budget currently set for the Games. In an extraordinary press conference, the Chairman of LOCOG attacked the steeplechase, branding it a “waste of space” and also reserved firm words for the “nasty and manipulative” Dean. “I hate her,” said Coe, “I hate the way she looks, I hate the way she runs and I hate the way she hurdles. If I had my way, I would just introduce a blanket ban on Deans being allowed to compete.” Coe is said to be upset because he "doesn't like hats". "What a stupid name!" thundered Coe, "I hate people who go around wearing hats- particularly in races, like that **** Dave Wottle".
McLEOD SNUB ANGERS UNIONS
Trade Unions have called for athletes and spectators to boycott the Super 8 series on Wednesday owing to the exclusion of Ryan McLeod. Unison, Unite, GMB and BECTU all balloted their members after the start lists were published and the results confirmed that 98.7% of members voted in favour of action. One Glasgow Council insider said: “our members work incredibly hard for their cash and demand the right to see McLeod lead a race only to be out-kicked in the closing stages. We couldn’t all make it down to Sport City and some idiot edited out the good bits on the video.” McLeod insiders have denied rumours that their man was offered a race but had to turn it down as he “did not know where Glasgow was”. One source said: “we can’t understand why he has been left out. He could run for just about anyone, but they all said no. It’s like someone has a grudge against him.” UKA have refused to comment on the strikes, but did say that they “regretted” having to overlook the Tipton man. A spokesman said: “we just didn’t have a need for any pacemakers on this occasion.”
GAY ‘BANNED FROM WINNING’ IN OREGON
The only non-Nike sponsored athlete to be permitted a race in the Pre Classic Diamond League meeting, Tyson Gay, has told the Lufbra Echo that he was told “not to win” just minutes before his race. “Some guy came up to be beforehand,” said Gay, “and said that he would ruin by career if I didn’t let Dix win”. It was also alleged that Gay was given “sticky blocks” meaning that he was delayed slightly at the start. A Nike spokesman was unrepentant when challenged on the issue: “how embarrassing would it be if an Adidas athlete won a race?” said the source, “that’s like saying that you don’t need to wear Nike kit to be the best. Also, Tyson has an unfortunate surname and we couldn’t have a Dix finishing behind a Gay- we have family values, you know!”
Thursday, 20 May 2010
NEWS IN BRIEF
GIRO CYCLIST TESTS NEGATIVE SHOCK
An unnamed cyclist has returned a negative ‘A’ Sample, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The top level competitor returned the test after Stage Six of the Giro d’Italia, but the authorities are awaiting the results of the ‘B’ Sample before naming him. “Obviously this is a shock,” said a cycling insider, “this sport has built its reputation a string of failed tests and corruption. Incidents like this only serve to give the public a mixed message.” The news of the test result has sent shockwaves through the entire world of sport, with many sporting chiefs calling for a “fundamental overhaul” of testing procedure. A senior source at the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) said that a “culture of fear” now existed within the organisation. “We can’t go on like this,” he explained, “if athletes keep passing tests, it is only a matter of time before the public start losing interest and then we’ll all be out of job.” A spokesman for the Tour de France said that he was “unconcerned” by this morning’s revelations. “I am pretty confident the Tour will have its usual share of drug scandals,” said an aide to the Tour supremo, “we’re bound to get the occasional blip, but on the whole cycling still remains the dirtiest sport in the world and I am certain that it will stay that way.” Today’s news comes just weeks after Alberto Contador stunned team mates by confessing that he “got no artificial help” during last year’s Tour victory. Officials at Astana [Contador’s team] have maintained that the Spaniard was “just letting off steam” and most certainly was not on the record. A source continued, “Vino [Alexander Vinokourov, who failed a blood test in 2008] is back this year anyway and so our reputation as a corrupt team in a corrupt sport should remain intact.”
BEKELE HAS ‘SWEET PROBLEM’
He may be the fastest 5,000m and 10,000m runner of all time, but in an exclusive interview with the Lufbra Echo, close friends of Kenenisa Bekele have conceded that they are “gravely concerned” about his sweet eating habits. “I have known of Ken for a few months now,” said one respondent, “and he always looks very defensive of his sweets.....Haribo seem to be a particular problem.” Another outsider said, “Kenny loves the sour cola bottles and has been known to eat a whole packet in one sitting....that would explain why he suffers with such bad dental health.” Rumours have been circulating around the athletics world for some time regarding the great man’s oral hygiene and these revelations look set to blow the lid on his dark secret. “Why do you think he never smiles?” asked a London-based stranger, “I’ll tell you why- it’s because his front teeth are rotting.” Others have told of how they have pleaded with the Ethiopian to seek help for his addiction. “I have sent several letters to Athletics Ethiopia,” said Tunbridge Wells mother of three, Iva Nojob, “I really think that it is an issue they should be addressing- he isn’t being a very good role model.” Meanwhile, a friend of a lady whose sister once met Bekele’s brother’s friend’s uncle said, “Ken is very much his own man and it is down to him to realise he has a problem and sort it out. I can tell you for sure that no amount of coaxing from me or anyone else will change that stubborn mind”.
2012 IN THE MIRE AS MANDEVILLE FALLS OUT WITH WENLOCK
FURY: Mandeville claims not to have been told about Wenlock prior to launch day
Lord Sebastian Coe was hastily attempting to get preparations for London 2012 back on track this evening, after the two mascots have had what has been described as a “major contretemps”. It is thought that Mandeville (the Paralympics mascot) struck his/her Olympic counterpart in a debate over who looked the most tacky. The former is said to be seething that Wenlock has been allocated “more wristbands” and has called the move “discrimination of the highest order.” The Oxford educated Mandeville claims to have only been informed that he/she was to appear as part of a double act at the “very last minute.” A spokesperson for the Mascot Affairs Directorate (MAD) said, “we have seen similar issues in the past. I know that Zakumi [the FIFA World Cup 2010 mascot] successfully appealed a decision to involve him in a shotgun marriage. It may well be that a similar thing happens here. People need to remember that these guys work very hard for limited pay- they have feelings.” Berlino the Bear (IAAF World Championships in Athletics 2009 mascot) has expressed sympathy with Mandeville’s plight. Speaking from his retirement home in the Caribbean, Berlino said “sometimes it’s tough to share the stage with someone. I found it tough when Usain Bolt raced because everyone would shout ‘Usain, Usain, Usain’ when they would normally be shouting for me.” Berlino also dismissed allegations that featured in several of this morning’s newspapers that he was having an affair with Wenlock. “Utter nonsense,” said the bear, “it’s sad when a career like mine can be tarnished by gutter press.”
An unnamed cyclist has returned a negative ‘A’ Sample, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The top level competitor returned the test after Stage Six of the Giro d’Italia, but the authorities are awaiting the results of the ‘B’ Sample before naming him. “Obviously this is a shock,” said a cycling insider, “this sport has built its reputation a string of failed tests and corruption. Incidents like this only serve to give the public a mixed message.” The news of the test result has sent shockwaves through the entire world of sport, with many sporting chiefs calling for a “fundamental overhaul” of testing procedure. A senior source at the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) said that a “culture of fear” now existed within the organisation. “We can’t go on like this,” he explained, “if athletes keep passing tests, it is only a matter of time before the public start losing interest and then we’ll all be out of job.” A spokesman for the Tour de France said that he was “unconcerned” by this morning’s revelations. “I am pretty confident the Tour will have its usual share of drug scandals,” said an aide to the Tour supremo, “we’re bound to get the occasional blip, but on the whole cycling still remains the dirtiest sport in the world and I am certain that it will stay that way.” Today’s news comes just weeks after Alberto Contador stunned team mates by confessing that he “got no artificial help” during last year’s Tour victory. Officials at Astana [Contador’s team] have maintained that the Spaniard was “just letting off steam” and most certainly was not on the record. A source continued, “Vino [Alexander Vinokourov, who failed a blood test in 2008] is back this year anyway and so our reputation as a corrupt team in a corrupt sport should remain intact.”
BEKELE HAS ‘SWEET PROBLEM’
He may be the fastest 5,000m and 10,000m runner of all time, but in an exclusive interview with the Lufbra Echo, close friends of Kenenisa Bekele have conceded that they are “gravely concerned” about his sweet eating habits. “I have known of Ken for a few months now,” said one respondent, “and he always looks very defensive of his sweets.....Haribo seem to be a particular problem.” Another outsider said, “Kenny loves the sour cola bottles and has been known to eat a whole packet in one sitting....that would explain why he suffers with such bad dental health.” Rumours have been circulating around the athletics world for some time regarding the great man’s oral hygiene and these revelations look set to blow the lid on his dark secret. “Why do you think he never smiles?” asked a London-based stranger, “I’ll tell you why- it’s because his front teeth are rotting.” Others have told of how they have pleaded with the Ethiopian to seek help for his addiction. “I have sent several letters to Athletics Ethiopia,” said Tunbridge Wells mother of three, Iva Nojob, “I really think that it is an issue they should be addressing- he isn’t being a very good role model.” Meanwhile, a friend of a lady whose sister once met Bekele’s brother’s friend’s uncle said, “Ken is very much his own man and it is down to him to realise he has a problem and sort it out. I can tell you for sure that no amount of coaxing from me or anyone else will change that stubborn mind”.
2012 IN THE MIRE AS MANDEVILLE FALLS OUT WITH WENLOCK
FURY: Mandeville claims not to have been told about Wenlock prior to launch day
Lord Sebastian Coe was hastily attempting to get preparations for London 2012 back on track this evening, after the two mascots have had what has been described as a “major contretemps”. It is thought that Mandeville (the Paralympics mascot) struck his/her Olympic counterpart in a debate over who looked the most tacky. The former is said to be seething that Wenlock has been allocated “more wristbands” and has called the move “discrimination of the highest order.” The Oxford educated Mandeville claims to have only been informed that he/she was to appear as part of a double act at the “very last minute.” A spokesperson for the Mascot Affairs Directorate (MAD) said, “we have seen similar issues in the past. I know that Zakumi [the FIFA World Cup 2010 mascot] successfully appealed a decision to involve him in a shotgun marriage. It may well be that a similar thing happens here. People need to remember that these guys work very hard for limited pay- they have feelings.” Berlino the Bear (IAAF World Championships in Athletics 2009 mascot) has expressed sympathy with Mandeville’s plight. Speaking from his retirement home in the Caribbean, Berlino said “sometimes it’s tough to share the stage with someone. I found it tough when Usain Bolt raced because everyone would shout ‘Usain, Usain, Usain’ when they would normally be shouting for me.” Berlino also dismissed allegations that featured in several of this morning’s newspapers that he was having an affair with Wenlock. “Utter nonsense,” said the bear, “it’s sad when a career like mine can be tarnished by gutter press.”
Saturday, 15 May 2010
COE SET TO WIELD AXE AS TORY CUTS START TO BITE
Sebastian Coe has today revealed the 2012 Games “will not and should not” be exempt from the forthcoming public service cuts set out by the new Conservative Government. Speaking from a press conference outside Downing Street (where he had met with Dave and/or Nick), his Lordship conceded that plans were already falling into place. “We cannot kid ourselves,” said William Hague’s former ‘Chief of Staff’, “the public purse is in a mess and it is our responsibility to do something about it”. Coe refused to be drawn on speculation surrounding where the cuts would be made, but the Lufbra Echo yesterday revealed that the former world record holder was “seriously thinking about” opting for a grass track in order to make the Olympics “greener”. An insider told this morning how Coe and the LOCOG board had “been shopping in Wilkinson’s” in search of a cheap set of medals. “Lord Coe is hoping that by buying in bulk we will save a packet,” said one of the Lord’s senior aides, “he’s really quite set on the idea.”
Meanwhile, other sources have leaked news that the one hundred metres may be reduced to 95 in order to save some money. “This is a 5% reduction,” enthused a BOA insider, “and we have not ruled out downsizing other events. I know that there is a general feeling that the marathon is too long anyway- we’re thinking about just saying the winner of the London Marathon [in April] is the Olympic Champion- it will save a lot of hassle.” It also looks certain that “almost all” the women’s Track and Field events will be cancelled. Our source went on, “would you really miss them? We sat in Beijing and thought ‘what a waste of time!’ They’re slower and duller than the men....most aren’t even that attractive”.
Downing Street also refused to deny speculation that the Government was set to cancel the Olympics altogether. A story set to be printed in a Sunday newspaper reveals how the new administration is “looking to postpone the Games to a more economically convenient time.” A Whitehall source said, “telephone calls have been made. We have looked at trying to loan the Games out to some other country that has loads of money. Like Greece, for example”.
It was confirmed last week that plans to have Dame Kelly Holmes present some of the medals were scrapped after the great Dame demanded a £300,000 payment per medal as well as helicopter transport to and from each ceremony. It is thought that the incoming Culture Minister, Jeremy Hunt (who was a Conservative at the time of writing), was fuming when he discovered such an astronomical sum was being mooted. Hunt has also vetoed demands by Usain Bolt that there be “a chicken nugget outlet on every corner” on the grounds that it was extortionate.
It seems that Bolt will not be the only athlete to be disappointed with the feeding arrangements. Newly appointed Prime Minister David Cameron (and/or Nick Clegg, delete as appropriate) has indicated that it is likely that ASDA will provide “two meals a day, maximum” for each athlete. Horrified by the thought of having to eat such rubbish, Andrew Lemoncello has “ruled himself out” of the Games. A Lemoncello source said, “Andrew is clear on this- ASDA’s green colours naturally offend him and the Olympics really isn’t that high on his list of priorities anyway”.
Elsewhere, Ryanair has been confirmed as the “Official Airline” of the 2012 Olympics.
Meanwhile, other sources have leaked news that the one hundred metres may be reduced to 95 in order to save some money. “This is a 5% reduction,” enthused a BOA insider, “and we have not ruled out downsizing other events. I know that there is a general feeling that the marathon is too long anyway- we’re thinking about just saying the winner of the London Marathon [in April] is the Olympic Champion- it will save a lot of hassle.” It also looks certain that “almost all” the women’s Track and Field events will be cancelled. Our source went on, “would you really miss them? We sat in Beijing and thought ‘what a waste of time!’ They’re slower and duller than the men....most aren’t even that attractive”.
Downing Street also refused to deny speculation that the Government was set to cancel the Olympics altogether. A story set to be printed in a Sunday newspaper reveals how the new administration is “looking to postpone the Games to a more economically convenient time.” A Whitehall source said, “telephone calls have been made. We have looked at trying to loan the Games out to some other country that has loads of money. Like Greece, for example”.
It was confirmed last week that plans to have Dame Kelly Holmes present some of the medals were scrapped after the great Dame demanded a £300,000 payment per medal as well as helicopter transport to and from each ceremony. It is thought that the incoming Culture Minister, Jeremy Hunt (who was a Conservative at the time of writing), was fuming when he discovered such an astronomical sum was being mooted. Hunt has also vetoed demands by Usain Bolt that there be “a chicken nugget outlet on every corner” on the grounds that it was extortionate.
It seems that Bolt will not be the only athlete to be disappointed with the feeding arrangements. Newly appointed Prime Minister David Cameron (and/or Nick Clegg, delete as appropriate) has indicated that it is likely that ASDA will provide “two meals a day, maximum” for each athlete. Horrified by the thought of having to eat such rubbish, Andrew Lemoncello has “ruled himself out” of the Games. A Lemoncello source said, “Andrew is clear on this- ASDA’s green colours naturally offend him and the Olympics really isn’t that high on his list of priorities anyway”.
Elsewhere, Ryanair has been confirmed as the “Official Airline” of the 2012 Olympics.
Monday, 29 March 2010
NEWS ROUND-UP
LOUGHBOROUGH ELITE ARRIVE SAFELY IN PORTUGAL DESPITE PRIVACY SCARE
Loughborough’s top athletes have landed in Portugal and are “ready to commence a tough period of training” according to insiders. This comes as plans for the trip were thrown into chaos late on Sunday evening after security officials spotted St. Mary’s and Birmingham spies in the area where George Gandy’s athletes are due to train. Our source went on, “it was all off at one stage. George said that he would not tolerate any intrusion whatsoever. Our team spotted a Birmingham lecturer strolling around the track....it seems that Mick Woods came himself.” As a result of the breach, significant restrictions are set to be placed on coverage of the training camp. “All rooms will be swept for bugs twice a day,” confirmed Loughborough’s Director of Security, “and the media will only be permitted to speak to our guys in the presence of a member of staff.” Gandy, who is not to join his group until Wednesday, was keen to play down the incident. Speaking from a press conference, the guru said “to be honest I am just relieved that Ryan McLeod didn’t lose his passport this time. Everything’s set for some good work.”
ECHO SECURES EXCLUSIVE PORTUGAL DEAL
The Lufbra Echo is delighted to announce that it will have exclusive access to the Loughborough training camp in Portugal this Easter. Despite a tightening in security (which resulted in the BBC being barred), we have negotiated unprecedented access to the African Violets ahead of their pivotal track campaign. The Echo’s Chief Executive (who always remains nameless) said that he was “thrilled” by the deal. “Earlier this month, we announced some coverage of the camp, but this goes further than ever before. It is a very exciting time to be an Echo reader!” Whilst nothing is confirmed yet, it is rumoured that readers can look forward to exclusive interviews with stars such as Pete Matthews, Stephen Emery and Ryan McLeod. Despite losing out to bitter rival, the Liverpool Echo for the principle “Northern Package”, we are pleased to announce that we have first refusal on scraps surrounding the “Liverpool lads” track preparation. Our chief explained, “the alliance with Adam Peers is really paying off now. We hope to be able to bring snippets such as Johnny Mellor’s vest choice, as well as a look at what spikes he will be wearing this season!”
COE IN WEATHER PLEDGE
Lord Sebastian Coe will be banning bad weather at the London 2012 Olympic Games. The Chairman of LOCOG announced the developments after “extensive talks with the relevant authorities”. “This is fantastic news” enthused the former 800m World Record holder, “by making rain and snow illegal it will guarantee the success of important events such as the beach volleyball....it is of vital importance that that goes ahead as planned.” Opponents of the scheme have argued that Coe has not gone far enough. “Sure, this will bring an end to rain and snow- but it does nothing to prevent the possibility of grey and overcast days,” said Steve Ovett, “London looks rubbish then and we will gain nothing. And what if it’s cold? Then the beach volleyball girls will have to cover up and then the whole Games might as well be cancelled.” Lord Coe did not reveal how he was able to succeed where others (such as the organisers of Wimbledon) have failed, but did concede that it was “very unlikely” that similar deal would be available for the Paralympics.
YELLING BLAMES ‘UNDERACHIEVING STUDENTS’ FOR WORLD CROSS DISASTER
Hayley Yelling, the European Cross Country Champion, has blamed her remarkably poor performance at the World Cross Country Championships on a group of Year 11 pupils. The Maths teacher, who was the last Brit home, said that she was “really quite shocked” at her charges’ lack of ability with numbers. “Pythagoras Theorem is a no go area and basic algebra completely throws them.” Yelling said that she received a threat from her head teacher is the blundering students did not pick up their act. “He said that the school had a proud reputation and that Year 11 Set Z was completely ruining it....it was on my mind the whole race weekend.”
Loughborough’s top athletes have landed in Portugal and are “ready to commence a tough period of training” according to insiders. This comes as plans for the trip were thrown into chaos late on Sunday evening after security officials spotted St. Mary’s and Birmingham spies in the area where George Gandy’s athletes are due to train. Our source went on, “it was all off at one stage. George said that he would not tolerate any intrusion whatsoever. Our team spotted a Birmingham lecturer strolling around the track....it seems that Mick Woods came himself.” As a result of the breach, significant restrictions are set to be placed on coverage of the training camp. “All rooms will be swept for bugs twice a day,” confirmed Loughborough’s Director of Security, “and the media will only be permitted to speak to our guys in the presence of a member of staff.” Gandy, who is not to join his group until Wednesday, was keen to play down the incident. Speaking from a press conference, the guru said “to be honest I am just relieved that Ryan McLeod didn’t lose his passport this time. Everything’s set for some good work.”
ECHO SECURES EXCLUSIVE PORTUGAL DEAL
The Lufbra Echo is delighted to announce that it will have exclusive access to the Loughborough training camp in Portugal this Easter. Despite a tightening in security (which resulted in the BBC being barred), we have negotiated unprecedented access to the African Violets ahead of their pivotal track campaign. The Echo’s Chief Executive (who always remains nameless) said that he was “thrilled” by the deal. “Earlier this month, we announced some coverage of the camp, but this goes further than ever before. It is a very exciting time to be an Echo reader!” Whilst nothing is confirmed yet, it is rumoured that readers can look forward to exclusive interviews with stars such as Pete Matthews, Stephen Emery and Ryan McLeod. Despite losing out to bitter rival, the Liverpool Echo for the principle “Northern Package”, we are pleased to announce that we have first refusal on scraps surrounding the “Liverpool lads” track preparation. Our chief explained, “the alliance with Adam Peers is really paying off now. We hope to be able to bring snippets such as Johnny Mellor’s vest choice, as well as a look at what spikes he will be wearing this season!”
COE IN WEATHER PLEDGE
Lord Sebastian Coe will be banning bad weather at the London 2012 Olympic Games. The Chairman of LOCOG announced the developments after “extensive talks with the relevant authorities”. “This is fantastic news” enthused the former 800m World Record holder, “by making rain and snow illegal it will guarantee the success of important events such as the beach volleyball....it is of vital importance that that goes ahead as planned.” Opponents of the scheme have argued that Coe has not gone far enough. “Sure, this will bring an end to rain and snow- but it does nothing to prevent the possibility of grey and overcast days,” said Steve Ovett, “London looks rubbish then and we will gain nothing. And what if it’s cold? Then the beach volleyball girls will have to cover up and then the whole Games might as well be cancelled.” Lord Coe did not reveal how he was able to succeed where others (such as the organisers of Wimbledon) have failed, but did concede that it was “very unlikely” that similar deal would be available for the Paralympics.
YELLING BLAMES ‘UNDERACHIEVING STUDENTS’ FOR WORLD CROSS DISASTER
Hayley Yelling, the European Cross Country Champion, has blamed her remarkably poor performance at the World Cross Country Championships on a group of Year 11 pupils. The Maths teacher, who was the last Brit home, said that she was “really quite shocked” at her charges’ lack of ability with numbers. “Pythagoras Theorem is a no go area and basic algebra completely throws them.” Yelling said that she received a threat from her head teacher is the blundering students did not pick up their act. “He said that the school had a proud reputation and that Year 11 Set Z was completely ruining it....it was on my mind the whole race weekend.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)