Mick Woods has described himself as "speechless" after Tommy Carroll returned to Ireland only to find that his passport had expired. The St Mary's star is now stranded on the Emerald Isle after being arrested attempting to sneak onto the back of a lorry. Woods used his weekly press conference to condemn Carroll as "damn brainless" confirming that it was "very unlikely" the 3:48 1500m star would be released in time for BUCS. It is understood that Woods called an urgent meeting to relay the news to the rest of the squad but was thwarted when not one member of the team "knew where Ireland was".
Carroll is not the only St Mary's athlete to feel the ire of Woods this week. On Monday evening, Stephen Scullion was hauled before the head coach to explain why he had spent nearly an hour trying to pay for his weekly food shop at Tesco with his Oyster card. Scullion had to be escorted off site after losing his temper with the self-service machine having repeatedly waved the pay-as-you-go travelcard at the screen. The Ireland International has now be banned from the store prompting questions as to where he is now going to source the 2.5kg of raw beetroot he eats daily.
Meanwhile, Carroll - who may not be released from prison until the end of May - now faces a large fine and the possibility of having his colouring in book privileges suspended. Woods stated that the matter would be "kept in-house" but made no secret of his "serious concern" for his charges when away from his watchful eye. "The big wide world can be a scary place for my lads" sighed Woods "it's tough out there. I got an email from Mitch [Goose, formerly of St Mary's] the other day asking why he couldn't pay for a haircut with Monopoly money. It makes you wonder."
Woods then ranted for several minutes about "this bloody country" before becoming locked in a walk in wardrobe for some minutes.
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Showing posts with label Goose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goose. Show all posts
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Saturday, 1 May 2010
BUCS DAY ONE....
All the action from Bedford, rounded up by our dedicated team.....
BUCS TO LAUNCH HORN PROBE
Meeting officials in Bedford have promised a swift investigation into the “ridiculous nuisance” that is a perennial horn blower. One insider told the Echo, “we have a fair idea of who it is and let me tell you the full weight of the law will be brought upon them....it’s all very childish and athletes are getting really quite upset about it.” All bags will be searched upon entry tomorrow with athletes and spectators to be subject to “random searches”. Our source went on, “we can’t go around making blind accusations and so hopefully the threat of action will deter the miscreant.” This news comes hours after Stephen Emery blamed the blower for running “too fast” in his 5,000m heat. “How can I be expected to win on Monday [in the final] now?” thundered the LSAC star from the team hotel, “I was 8 seconds quicker than I needed to be and frankly, I’m knackered....that god awful horn just kept blowing and I mistook it for a signal to speed up. It’s very poor.”
Emery was not the only athlete to be upset by the horn blowing. Matt Sullivan has said that it “almost certainly” cost him a place in the 1500m semi-final. “The horn put me off at the crucial moment,” harrumphed the 3:55 man from his post race press conference, “going into the final lap, I was ready to go. Then that f*****g horn blew and I jumped. I am really gutted.” Meanwhile, others have been quick to pour cold water on what is fast becoming known as ‘horn-gate’. Gary Bradbury said that he had “no issue” with the noise and that those who complained were “just being precious”. The 3:43 man went on, “I really can’t see the problem. Just because some guys aren’t good enough they look for excuses. That’s annoying. I found my heat extraordinarily easy.”
PARER CUT LEAVES STREET “50/50” FOR FINAL
Medics will this evening assess the damage to Peter Street’s right hand after the 5k star suffered a “horrendous” paper cut when removing his vest this afternoon. The Preston man had just qualified with ease for Monday’s final, but caught his finger on his bib number just before starting his cool down. A spokesman for LSAC said that it was “deeply troubling” but that Street would “receive only the very best care”. Our source continued, “it’s nasty, really nasty. But no one here feels like telling Ian Anholm [LSAC Administration chief] we may have a withdrawal. He reacts badly to things like that and it might kick off.” Street’s injury is currently being looked at by Loughborough’s team doctor and insiders have refused to rule out flying in a “paper cut specialist” from the States. “The good news is that we have tomorrow to get it sorted,” said a spokesman, “if the medics think that a specialist is required then that is what we will do. No expense will be spared.” The spokesman, who was speaking before boarding LSAC’s team coach, went on to lambast a “shoddy” day’s officiating from BUCS. “We’ve had paper cuts and power cuts,” he said, “it’s just not on. I only hope they can buck [geddit?!] their ideas up for tomorrow.”
WOODS IN GANDY SLUR
Mick Woods took time out today to tell the Echo that George Gandy was being “unprofessional” by failing to turn up to support Loughborough at the Championships. “Hopeless,” sighed the St. Mary’s man, “you don’t see me swanking off to Front Romeu now do you? That is because I am professional and I value my athlete’s progress.” Woods was speaking just after Mitch Goose, one of his charges, crashed out in the heat of the 800m. “That was disappointing, but Mitch is experimenting with a new haircut and it seems that his latest short look isn’t the way to go....he’ll be growing it now.” Woods went on to point out that Goose had “forgotten” his compression socks and that that gaffe was likely to have cost him “at least 3 seconds.” The Aldershot coach explained, “when you look at it like that, he made the semi. It’s all learning and he will be keeping a co-ordinated pair of socks on him at all times from now on.” Woods would not elaborate on rumours in this morning’s newspapers that another athlete of his, Stephanie Twell, was ruled out of BUCS after mistakenly eating two bananas in a day. “I won’t comment on such media nonsense,” stormed the former UKA coach before accidently walking into a wall.
BUCS TO LAUNCH HORN PROBE
Meeting officials in Bedford have promised a swift investigation into the “ridiculous nuisance” that is a perennial horn blower. One insider told the Echo, “we have a fair idea of who it is and let me tell you the full weight of the law will be brought upon them....it’s all very childish and athletes are getting really quite upset about it.” All bags will be searched upon entry tomorrow with athletes and spectators to be subject to “random searches”. Our source went on, “we can’t go around making blind accusations and so hopefully the threat of action will deter the miscreant.” This news comes hours after Stephen Emery blamed the blower for running “too fast” in his 5,000m heat. “How can I be expected to win on Monday [in the final] now?” thundered the LSAC star from the team hotel, “I was 8 seconds quicker than I needed to be and frankly, I’m knackered....that god awful horn just kept blowing and I mistook it for a signal to speed up. It’s very poor.”
Emery was not the only athlete to be upset by the horn blowing. Matt Sullivan has said that it “almost certainly” cost him a place in the 1500m semi-final. “The horn put me off at the crucial moment,” harrumphed the 3:55 man from his post race press conference, “going into the final lap, I was ready to go. Then that f*****g horn blew and I jumped. I am really gutted.” Meanwhile, others have been quick to pour cold water on what is fast becoming known as ‘horn-gate’. Gary Bradbury said that he had “no issue” with the noise and that those who complained were “just being precious”. The 3:43 man went on, “I really can’t see the problem. Just because some guys aren’t good enough they look for excuses. That’s annoying. I found my heat extraordinarily easy.”
PARER CUT LEAVES STREET “50/50” FOR FINAL
Medics will this evening assess the damage to Peter Street’s right hand after the 5k star suffered a “horrendous” paper cut when removing his vest this afternoon. The Preston man had just qualified with ease for Monday’s final, but caught his finger on his bib number just before starting his cool down. A spokesman for LSAC said that it was “deeply troubling” but that Street would “receive only the very best care”. Our source continued, “it’s nasty, really nasty. But no one here feels like telling Ian Anholm [LSAC Administration chief] we may have a withdrawal. He reacts badly to things like that and it might kick off.” Street’s injury is currently being looked at by Loughborough’s team doctor and insiders have refused to rule out flying in a “paper cut specialist” from the States. “The good news is that we have tomorrow to get it sorted,” said a spokesman, “if the medics think that a specialist is required then that is what we will do. No expense will be spared.” The spokesman, who was speaking before boarding LSAC’s team coach, went on to lambast a “shoddy” day’s officiating from BUCS. “We’ve had paper cuts and power cuts,” he said, “it’s just not on. I only hope they can buck [geddit?!] their ideas up for tomorrow.”
WOODS IN GANDY SLUR
Mick Woods took time out today to tell the Echo that George Gandy was being “unprofessional” by failing to turn up to support Loughborough at the Championships. “Hopeless,” sighed the St. Mary’s man, “you don’t see me swanking off to Front Romeu now do you? That is because I am professional and I value my athlete’s progress.” Woods was speaking just after Mitch Goose, one of his charges, crashed out in the heat of the 800m. “That was disappointing, but Mitch is experimenting with a new haircut and it seems that his latest short look isn’t the way to go....he’ll be growing it now.” Woods went on to point out that Goose had “forgotten” his compression socks and that that gaffe was likely to have cost him “at least 3 seconds.” The Aldershot coach explained, “when you look at it like that, he made the semi. It’s all learning and he will be keeping a co-ordinated pair of socks on him at all times from now on.” Woods would not elaborate on rumours in this morning’s newspapers that another athlete of his, Stephanie Twell, was ruled out of BUCS after mistakenly eating two bananas in a day. “I won’t comment on such media nonsense,” stormed the former UKA coach before accidently walking into a wall.
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