SOUTHEND READY TO SPLASH CASH AS TRANSFER WINDOW OPENS

Southend AC have this evening signalled their ambition for the forthcoming summer by approaching no fewer than five big names in the distance running world. The Essex club have recently been taken over by a super-rich paper merchant from Sardinia, who has demanded European Athletics success within the next two years. The Lufbra Echo understands that Southend have made a multi-million pound offer for Morpeth's Nick McCormick and have also expressed an interest in enticing Andrew Lemoncello back to the UK.

Whilst McCormick is well known to be on the look out for a move, it seems unlikely that he would lower himself to Division 3 athletics just for the sake of financial gain. A Morpeth spokesman slammed Southend's "obscene" levels of wealth and said that the club had not ruled out reporting them to UKA. "It's really bad form," thundered the source "they come here with their big Essex chequebooks and try to unsettle our top guys- it's wrong, just wrong". McCormick remained silent on the possibility this evening, but insiders have revealed that the 3:33 1500m could be on the verge of a "career defining move" in the next month.

Lemoncello, meanwhile, was spotted sharing fish and chips with Southend chiefs just last week and sources have let slip that the seaside club could be about to net the British number 1 marathoner. "The Chairman sent a private jet to collect Mr Lemoncello" said the high level aide "it was a really productive discussion and they discussed the merits of setting up a training base in the area." It is understood that Lemoncello "likes the idea of living on an island" and as such is contemplating the purchase of a property on nearby Canvey Island. "We know of a few hills on the isle" continued the source "and so it would be just like training at altitude".

Southend have also had offers for Mo Farah and the athlete formerly known as Geele (now to be called Gala) rejected by Newham and Essex Beagles. However, with Frank Baddick "desperately unhappy" with the new kit at the London club, it looks likely that he will be allowed to leave. Strong Loughborough links have also resulted in leading names such as Gary Bradbury and Rob Whittle "not ruling out" the possibility of a move. "If the set up and club philosophy was right" opined Bradbury "then I would consider the switch. For me, it's all about the feel of a place. If I knew everyone's karma was right then yes, I would look at Southend." A spokesman for the Essex club categorically denied speculation that they were about to or had any intention of ever signing Pete Matthews.

ROUNDING EVERYTHING UP

GREAT NEWS fans! We're back. Rumours that "creative differences" could have brought an end to the Echo are unfounded. We're as united as we have ever been and ready to get on with some serious reporting. However, a quick gloss over Eightlane reveals that we have missed a good deal in the past fortnight and so here it all is...........

UKA MISSING CAKE RIDDLE



BMC DENIES 'MAKING UP' TIMES

Red faced officials at the British Milers Club have been forced to deny that they made up the times at a recent meeting. An insider said: "it was absolutely legitimate. Bob stood at the start of the race and counted out loud for the duration of the 5k. We then had Gill writing down the times as people crossed the line." The source dismissed suggestions that this wasn't accurate and rejected accusations that they asked athletes "what they thought they'd run" after the event.

ATHLETE FORMERLY KNOWN AS GEELE IN PASSPORT GAFFE

The athlete formerly known as Geele, now to be referred to as Gala has lost his passport just days after being given it, the Lufbra Echo can reveal. Concerned UKA chiefs have asked the public to be on the look out for the document, which Geele (or Gala, possibly both) last saw when boarding a tram in Wimbledon. "It's mystery," sighed a UKA official, "it took us ages to get the lad British Citizenship and now we may have to start over." Insiders have also denied rumours that the Newham star changed his name in a sponsorship deal with Gala bingo.

BARNI IN CRYSTAL PALACE SNUB


OUT IN THE COLD: Barni failed to impress in Barcelona

If you go down to the Palace today you won't be seeing Barni Bear, the Lufbra Echo is sad to report. After what many have called a "disappointing" European Championships, the mascot was denied entry into the United Kingdom early this morning. Mr. Barni, who in truth struggled to live up to the glorious performance of his relative Berlino, was arrested at Heathrow after UKA decided that they didn't want him "anywhere near" the Diamond League meeting this evening. An insider said that many found the bear "disturbing". "Let's face it," said the source "he isn't the cuddly wonder that Berlino was...there's something not right about him; more an albino prototype than a sporting mascot."