SCRATCHING HEAD ‘ADDS 10% T0 PERFORMANCE’: REPORT
A research project seen by the Lufbra Echo has told of how scratching your head in a “rhythmic circular motion” can increase performance in a 5km running trial by as much as 10%. Researchers at the University of North Dunstable have hailed “a great day for performance sport” and UK Athletics are said to be drafting up new guidelines for distribution to performance centres across the country. The paper- which has yet to be published- concludes that endurance athletes should scratch their heads in the hours immediately prior to performance. “We found that three hours before a race or significant workout was the best time,” said Prof. N. O. Sense who headed up the team, “scratching athletes reported feeling less pain, less fatigue and more vigour than a control group.” The scratchers seemingly also performed far better with quicker times being consistently recorded. It was not all good news however, as the technique was shown to have “no significant effect” on sprint performance. “If anything [performance] declined,” said N. O. Sense, “we are unsure why, but think it likely that the sprinters struggled with the complexities of using the circular motion.” Bad news too for all nose pickers out there as a regular practice of picking one’s nose had “only a small effect” on an athlete’s ability to breathe. “That was disappointing,” said N. O. Sense, “but at least we know where to focus our energy now.” The research team dismissed suggestions that doing a little extra mileage could have a positive impact on running performance. “What utter nonsense,” thundered a senior researcher, “we really haven’t got time to entertain such ridiculous ideas.”
WATFORD TRACK ‘NOT SHORT’: UKA
UK Athletics have reacted angrily to suggestions that the Watford track is short by 2 metres. The accusations came on popular running forums Eightlane and Letsrun after several athletes were seen to run faster than they were “capable of”. “Clearly short,” harrumphed one Eightlaner, “uka reely need to sought this out. How cum all these peepel suddenely run pbs? [sic]”. An insider at the Governing Body revealed that an official track measurer had been called in and confirmed that it had been given the all clear. “Ben Green kindly looked it up on Google Earth,” revealed our source, “and on the third time through it came up at exactly the right distance. If anything it’s long.” Meanwhile, the BMC have confirmed that all times from the recent Grand Prix held at the stadium will stand. This news comes despite widespread anger that video evidence suggested that some times (taken by the official time keepers) were clearly wrong. A spokesman said, “we can’t go around changing times on the whim of a few disgruntled slow coaches.” It was added that there were no plans to “just make the times up” at the next Grand Prix.
Showing posts with label Green. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Green. Show all posts
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Sunday, 23 May 2010
LOUGHBOROUGH INTERNATIONAL NEWS.....
'LONG TRACK' DENIES DASAOLOU SUB-10
Echo favourite, James Dasaolu has said that he is "well furious" this evening after improving his lifetime best over 100m to 10.06 seconds (wind assisted). The Loughborough based star argued with officials for over 20 minutes before the start of the race as felt that he was being started "at least half a metre" behind where he should have been. LSAC insiders have denied speculation that the GB International was about to be expelled from the race. Speaking from a press conference, Dasaolu hailed what he called a "moral sub-10" and revealed that he would be appealing to the IAAF. "The way I see it," said the Croydon star, "I have just set the world record for 100.5 metres. It's a great honour." There was much excitement before the race that Loughborough might to be about to witness its first ever sub-10 second 100m. Furious spectators are now demanding a full refund after it failed to materialise. It is rumoured that male observers were also upset that "the females were not looking their best".
LOUGHBOROUGH ATHLETES COMPETE IN LOUGHBOROUGH EVENT OUTCRY
George Gandy is being forced to respond to furious accusations of favouritism this evening, after it was revealed that some Loughborough based athletes were allowed to take part as guests in the Loughborough International. Angry posters on popular running forum eightlane.com have called on the LSAC and UKA chief to resign. One poster, who didn't give his real name, said that it was "unfair" that "[poor] athletes were allowed to compete." The anonymous poster who may or may not be any good at running also slammed Gandy's decision to drop the men's steeplechase accusing the guru of having an attitude that "Loughborogh [sic] do not have any chasers so we will not put that event on the schedule". Another courageously anonymous poster said that "surely questions should be asked." A spokesman for the Fairness in Athletic Inclusion, Regulation, Interest and Emotional Support (FAIRIES) said, "we have had enough of this now. The other day, I was at a meeting in St. Mary's and it was full of St. Mary's athletes. That isn't fair. We've had reports of similar situations at Birmingham and Bath as well."
The Echo can also reveal that Mr. Gandy may well be in hot water over claims that Loughborough athletes are being allowed a "disproportionate" amount of time on their home track. It is likely that he is going to have to explain to Government chiefs why some distance athletes are allowed to train on the track "as often as three times a week." The source at FAIRIES went on, "it means that the African Violets are always at an advantage. I think they should be restricted in their ability to train."
'PATHETIC' PACEMAKING FRUSTRATES TAYLOR
Johnny Taylor has hit out at what he calls the "most ridiculous pacemaking performance of all time" after failing to win the Match race of the 1500m. Taylor has said that the pacemaker, Ben Green, clearly "bowed to pressure from the crowd". Speaking after the race, the Teesider said "I heard somebody shout to him to slow down. He was only 50m clear of the pack and so I can't understand why he did. It ruined my race, I was going to catch him." Taylor revealed that the reason he chose not to go with the pace was that it was "very windy in [his] lane." Taylor went on, "everyone knows that it is the start that counts and I was badly disadvantaged by being right in the wind. The first 45m was really tough". Meanwhile, Frank Baddick blamed a change in milk for his below par performance. The Newham and Essex Beagle said "I have just switched to the orange top stuff from Sainos [Sainsbury's] and that probably upset the calcium-fat balance in my blood and so explains the bad run. I'm completely, totally, 110% relaxed about it".
POLLEN COUNT CAUSES CHAOS
The Loughborough International ran several minutes behind schedule after officials had to make no fewer than ten "airborne pollen inspections" over the course of the afternoon. The checks were enforced after several athletes, including 100m Olympian Mark Lewis-Francis, called the pollen count "dangerously high." Indeed, Lewis-Francis called for the meeting to be cancelled just minutes before his event as the roof of his mouth was "very itchy." After being convinced to compete, the sprint ace revealed how he "wouldn't be bothering" with the event again. "Let's face it, I am better than this," said the former Olympic (relay) Champion, "it's just that I have been injured and so can't go anywhere else. I looked around at the start and thought, 'gee is this how bad things have got?' I guess things can only get better now."
Echo favourite, James Dasaolu has said that he is "well furious" this evening after improving his lifetime best over 100m to 10.06 seconds (wind assisted). The Loughborough based star argued with officials for over 20 minutes before the start of the race as felt that he was being started "at least half a metre" behind where he should have been. LSAC insiders have denied speculation that the GB International was about to be expelled from the race. Speaking from a press conference, Dasaolu hailed what he called a "moral sub-10" and revealed that he would be appealing to the IAAF. "The way I see it," said the Croydon star, "I have just set the world record for 100.5 metres. It's a great honour." There was much excitement before the race that Loughborough might to be about to witness its first ever sub-10 second 100m. Furious spectators are now demanding a full refund after it failed to materialise. It is rumoured that male observers were also upset that "the females were not looking their best".
LOUGHBOROUGH ATHLETES COMPETE IN LOUGHBOROUGH EVENT OUTCRY
George Gandy is being forced to respond to furious accusations of favouritism this evening, after it was revealed that some Loughborough based athletes were allowed to take part as guests in the Loughborough International. Angry posters on popular running forum eightlane.com have called on the LSAC and UKA chief to resign. One poster, who didn't give his real name, said that it was "unfair" that "[poor] athletes were allowed to compete." The anonymous poster who may or may not be any good at running also slammed Gandy's decision to drop the men's steeplechase accusing the guru of having an attitude that "Loughborogh [sic] do not have any chasers so we will not put that event on the schedule". Another courageously anonymous poster said that "surely questions should be asked." A spokesman for the Fairness in Athletic Inclusion, Regulation, Interest and Emotional Support (FAIRIES) said, "we have had enough of this now. The other day, I was at a meeting in St. Mary's and it was full of St. Mary's athletes. That isn't fair. We've had reports of similar situations at Birmingham and Bath as well."
The Echo can also reveal that Mr. Gandy may well be in hot water over claims that Loughborough athletes are being allowed a "disproportionate" amount of time on their home track. It is likely that he is going to have to explain to Government chiefs why some distance athletes are allowed to train on the track "as often as three times a week." The source at FAIRIES went on, "it means that the African Violets are always at an advantage. I think they should be restricted in their ability to train."
'PATHETIC' PACEMAKING FRUSTRATES TAYLOR
Johnny Taylor has hit out at what he calls the "most ridiculous pacemaking performance of all time" after failing to win the Match race of the 1500m. Taylor has said that the pacemaker, Ben Green, clearly "bowed to pressure from the crowd". Speaking after the race, the Teesider said "I heard somebody shout to him to slow down. He was only 50m clear of the pack and so I can't understand why he did. It ruined my race, I was going to catch him." Taylor revealed that the reason he chose not to go with the pace was that it was "very windy in [his] lane." Taylor went on, "everyone knows that it is the start that counts and I was badly disadvantaged by being right in the wind. The first 45m was really tough". Meanwhile, Frank Baddick blamed a change in milk for his below par performance. The Newham and Essex Beagle said "I have just switched to the orange top stuff from Sainos [Sainsbury's] and that probably upset the calcium-fat balance in my blood and so explains the bad run. I'm completely, totally, 110% relaxed about it".
POLLEN COUNT CAUSES CHAOS
The Loughborough International ran several minutes behind schedule after officials had to make no fewer than ten "airborne pollen inspections" over the course of the afternoon. The checks were enforced after several athletes, including 100m Olympian Mark Lewis-Francis, called the pollen count "dangerously high." Indeed, Lewis-Francis called for the meeting to be cancelled just minutes before his event as the roof of his mouth was "very itchy." After being convinced to compete, the sprint ace revealed how he "wouldn't be bothering" with the event again. "Let's face it, I am better than this," said the former Olympic (relay) Champion, "it's just that I have been injured and so can't go anywhere else. I looked around at the start and thought, 'gee is this how bad things have got?' I guess things can only get better now."
Monday, 3 May 2010
BUCS DAY THREE.....
Well, it's all over. Another year, another early-season 'major' Championships comes to an end. The Lufbra Echo rounds up the action from the last day.....
HOWE DENIES BATH AMBITION
Loughborough's assistant coach, David Howe has "categorically denied" rumours linking him with a big money move to Bath University. The Canadian was mobbed by journalists as he arrived at Bedford this morning after Bath chiefs were seen meeting with him late last night. This morning's Sun carried pictures of Bath students wearing "GO CANUCKS" t-shirts and quoted the University's Director of Sport saying that he "had always had the utmost respect for all Canadians". When contacted by the Echo this morning, Bath insiders revealed that University supremos were "ready to commit to the right man" to lead the athletics set up. "Bath are ready to become a major force in Track and Field," said a source, "we have secured a lot of funding and are on the lookout for someone to lead us to a BUCS Outdoor push within the next few years." The spokesman dismissed speculation that George Gandy was about to "offload" Alasdair Donaldson on the spa town.
Howe meanwhile was keeping a low profile at today's events and was carefully watched by Loughborough's security personnel. John Nutall, however, did reveal that Howe was "thinking seriously" about his future and that "any opportunity would be looked at". The Preston born coach went on, "if I was David, I would be flattered. The opportunity to lead a great team like Bath with good backing is a once in a lifetime. I hope they find someone. Maybe a disgruntled UKA employed Prestonian with an excellent CV and good track performances to match. But who knows?"
As he drove away from the stadium, Howe called the links "ridiculous" before nearly causing a major accident by pulling out in front a a speeding BMW.
'ARCTIC' TEMPERATURES FRUSTRATE BRADBURY
Gary Bradbury has called for next year's Championships to be held elsewhere after bemoaning the "stupidly cold" conditions for the 1500m final. "It was terrible," said the Woking star, "I seriously considered racing in a tracksuit." Bradbury, who finished 4th, also responded to criticism that he did not take his semi-final seriously enough after sending a text message half-way through the race. "Look, if the other guys insist on running that slowly, then I am bound to get bored," fumed the 3:43 man, "I had been meaning to text this guy back about Chelsea tickets for a while and so I thought I would before I forgot."
Bradbury was not the only man to hit out at the weather. The entire Loughborough men's 4x100m team initially refused to race owing to a "ludicrous risk" of muscular damage. Luke Stott explained from the call room, "I have just been out there and let me tell you there's no way we can run it. It wouldn't be safe." Officials have denied that they were considering bringing in heaters to warm the track for the relays. "That was never on the cards," said an insider, "it was raised by a junior staffer and we dismissed it immediately. Thankfully the Loughborough guys relented after Ian Anholm threatened to ban the use of ice baths back in the East Midlands."
EMERY 'THRILLED' AFTER SENSIBLE DISPLAY
Stephen Emery has spoken of his "delight" after securing a bronze medal in the final of the men's 5,000m. The Coventry star stunned other competitors with a lethal 27.63 final 200m and made no effort to hide his glee. "I hope this shuts everyone up now," Emery told the Echo immediately afterwards, "Ben Green and the like have been on at me for so long. Why don't I increase this or do more of that- but this proves that being sensible is what counts." So sensible was Emery that he missed the medal presentation in order to complete his systematic cool down. "What a stupid time to hold the ceremony," said the 22 year-old, "if I didn't do my jog and exercises I would live to regret it for sure."
There is no doubting Emery's impressive performance this morning. Initially sitting just behind the main pack, the 1:52 800m man made steady progress throughout the middle portion of the race and unleashed his impressive sprint at the right moment. Unfortunately for him, race leaders Nick Goolab and Rory Chesser had got away from the field by this stage and it had become a scrap for bronze. Speaking after the race, new champion Nick Goolab bemoaned a "pedestrian" opening gambit. "The first few laps were absolutely ridiculous," said the Belgrave star, "I wish I hadn't bothered to warm up now it was so slow. Eventually I decided to turn it into a tempo and Rory was the only guy brave enough to come with me." Goolab also showed a good race awareness as he kicked away from Chesser in the final 100m. "It just wasn't my day," sighed a deflated Chesser after the race, "Goolab started saying nasty things to me in the last kilometre like 'you need a hair cut' and 'your socks are rubbish'. I guess that got to me."
HOWE DENIES BATH AMBITION
Loughborough's assistant coach, David Howe has "categorically denied" rumours linking him with a big money move to Bath University. The Canadian was mobbed by journalists as he arrived at Bedford this morning after Bath chiefs were seen meeting with him late last night. This morning's Sun carried pictures of Bath students wearing "GO CANUCKS" t-shirts and quoted the University's Director of Sport saying that he "had always had the utmost respect for all Canadians". When contacted by the Echo this morning, Bath insiders revealed that University supremos were "ready to commit to the right man" to lead the athletics set up. "Bath are ready to become a major force in Track and Field," said a source, "we have secured a lot of funding and are on the lookout for someone to lead us to a BUCS Outdoor push within the next few years." The spokesman dismissed speculation that George Gandy was about to "offload" Alasdair Donaldson on the spa town.
Howe meanwhile was keeping a low profile at today's events and was carefully watched by Loughborough's security personnel. John Nutall, however, did reveal that Howe was "thinking seriously" about his future and that "any opportunity would be looked at". The Preston born coach went on, "if I was David, I would be flattered. The opportunity to lead a great team like Bath with good backing is a once in a lifetime. I hope they find someone. Maybe a disgruntled UKA employed Prestonian with an excellent CV and good track performances to match. But who knows?"
As he drove away from the stadium, Howe called the links "ridiculous" before nearly causing a major accident by pulling out in front a a speeding BMW.
'ARCTIC' TEMPERATURES FRUSTRATE BRADBURY
Gary Bradbury has called for next year's Championships to be held elsewhere after bemoaning the "stupidly cold" conditions for the 1500m final. "It was terrible," said the Woking star, "I seriously considered racing in a tracksuit." Bradbury, who finished 4th, also responded to criticism that he did not take his semi-final seriously enough after sending a text message half-way through the race. "Look, if the other guys insist on running that slowly, then I am bound to get bored," fumed the 3:43 man, "I had been meaning to text this guy back about Chelsea tickets for a while and so I thought I would before I forgot."
Bradbury was not the only man to hit out at the weather. The entire Loughborough men's 4x100m team initially refused to race owing to a "ludicrous risk" of muscular damage. Luke Stott explained from the call room, "I have just been out there and let me tell you there's no way we can run it. It wouldn't be safe." Officials have denied that they were considering bringing in heaters to warm the track for the relays. "That was never on the cards," said an insider, "it was raised by a junior staffer and we dismissed it immediately. Thankfully the Loughborough guys relented after Ian Anholm threatened to ban the use of ice baths back in the East Midlands."
EMERY 'THRILLED' AFTER SENSIBLE DISPLAY
Stephen Emery has spoken of his "delight" after securing a bronze medal in the final of the men's 5,000m. The Coventry star stunned other competitors with a lethal 27.63 final 200m and made no effort to hide his glee. "I hope this shuts everyone up now," Emery told the Echo immediately afterwards, "Ben Green and the like have been on at me for so long. Why don't I increase this or do more of that- but this proves that being sensible is what counts." So sensible was Emery that he missed the medal presentation in order to complete his systematic cool down. "What a stupid time to hold the ceremony," said the 22 year-old, "if I didn't do my jog and exercises I would live to regret it for sure."
There is no doubting Emery's impressive performance this morning. Initially sitting just behind the main pack, the 1:52 800m man made steady progress throughout the middle portion of the race and unleashed his impressive sprint at the right moment. Unfortunately for him, race leaders Nick Goolab and Rory Chesser had got away from the field by this stage and it had become a scrap for bronze. Speaking after the race, new champion Nick Goolab bemoaned a "pedestrian" opening gambit. "The first few laps were absolutely ridiculous," said the Belgrave star, "I wish I hadn't bothered to warm up now it was so slow. Eventually I decided to turn it into a tempo and Rory was the only guy brave enough to come with me." Goolab also showed a good race awareness as he kicked away from Chesser in the final 100m. "It just wasn't my day," sighed a deflated Chesser after the race, "Goolab started saying nasty things to me in the last kilometre like 'you need a hair cut' and 'your socks are rubbish'. I guess that got to me."
Thursday, 15 April 2010
EMERY MUST GUARD AGAINST COMPLACENCY: GREEN
Ben Green has used his weekly press conference to criticise Stephen Emery’s “disappointing” attitude after a successful block of training. The Coventry Godiva man has really stepped up his form of late- most recently winning the final 800m rep in an unofficial 1:55.85. “There is no doubt Stephen is running well,” said Green from his Vilamoura base, “but what use is training form if it can’t be converted into decent track performances?” The 1:47 800m athlete went onto criticise Emery’s decision to post a video of the session on social networking site, Facebook. “That was a shame and it isn’t something that I would have done. It’s really put pressure on the lad and I just hope he doesn’t blow it to be honest.” Green went on, “I didn’t like the way he celebrated at the end, it smacked of arrogance to be honest. I hope he learns from this.”
Firm words also came from George Gandy who watched the whole session from Front Romeu via a live video feed. “He [Emery] looked good on the track,” said the guru, “but he was taking it easy on the hills. That is bound to have made a difference and I also worry that he will go stale like he did last summer.” Gandy was referring to Emery’s inability to run a significant PB over the metric mile despite claiming that he was “in better shape than most other athletes in the country.” Gandy went on, “he peaked on a 600m rep in South Africa last year and promptly kept telling everyone about it. I will start to have faith when he runs well in actual races.” Last month, Gandy conceded that he had “forgotten all about” Emery until his performance at the Leeds Relays and the LSAC Director still appears hesitant to give the 3:57 man his full backing. “Stephen and I will have a chat about how to conduct himself on and off the track...judging from the video the lad still has much to learn about tanning.” Gandy went onto point out that his personal tan was “as strong as ever” and rigorously denied using artificial enhancers to maintain it. “That is a malicious rumour spread by Ian [Stewart, UKA Endurance Chief] because it rained during his holiday in the Maldives. I guess I just naturally tan well.”
Emery, meanwhile was in no mood to play down his recent accomplishments. Branding Green “jealous” and “mentally weak”, the Loughborough star went on an extraordinary defence of his record. “I deal in facts,” stormed the 55th man home in the National Cross, “this is a fact: I won the 1200m rep last week and I won the 800m rep this. I backed off in the 10x400m session but that was only because George texted me and asked me to let Warbo [Chris Warburton] win because he cried when I beat him.” Emery went on, “I just wish everyone would stop their winging and recognise how good I am. Week after week I perform. That’s fact. You wait until the AAAs, then you’ll know how tough I am.”
Firm words also came from George Gandy who watched the whole session from Front Romeu via a live video feed. “He [Emery] looked good on the track,” said the guru, “but he was taking it easy on the hills. That is bound to have made a difference and I also worry that he will go stale like he did last summer.” Gandy was referring to Emery’s inability to run a significant PB over the metric mile despite claiming that he was “in better shape than most other athletes in the country.” Gandy went on, “he peaked on a 600m rep in South Africa last year and promptly kept telling everyone about it. I will start to have faith when he runs well in actual races.” Last month, Gandy conceded that he had “forgotten all about” Emery until his performance at the Leeds Relays and the LSAC Director still appears hesitant to give the 3:57 man his full backing. “Stephen and I will have a chat about how to conduct himself on and off the track...judging from the video the lad still has much to learn about tanning.” Gandy went onto point out that his personal tan was “as strong as ever” and rigorously denied using artificial enhancers to maintain it. “That is a malicious rumour spread by Ian [Stewart, UKA Endurance Chief] because it rained during his holiday in the Maldives. I guess I just naturally tan well.”
Emery, meanwhile was in no mood to play down his recent accomplishments. Branding Green “jealous” and “mentally weak”, the Loughborough star went on an extraordinary defence of his record. “I deal in facts,” stormed the 55th man home in the National Cross, “this is a fact: I won the 1200m rep last week and I won the 800m rep this. I backed off in the 10x400m session but that was only because George texted me and asked me to let Warbo [Chris Warburton] win because he cried when I beat him.” Emery went on, “I just wish everyone would stop their winging and recognise how good I am. Week after week I perform. That’s fact. You wait until the AAAs, then you’ll know how tough I am.”
Friday, 9 April 2010
SPINELESS LOUGHBOROUGH MADE TO PAY BY RUTHLESS PRESTON
Loughborough Athletics Club has suffered its second Beach Rounders defeat to ‘The Preston Lot’ in as many weeks after a quite woeful display today. Pressure on LSAC’s management will now be at an all time high after fans booed the players from the beach this afternoon. In truth, Loughborough never really looked interested in windy conditions and quickly found themselves well behind in the first innings. Andrew Mariani and James Griffiths both dropped relatively simple catches as Stephen Emery looked jaded from his Tuesday night training session. The only high point for Loughborough was the successful completion of the game by injury-ridden Pete Matthews. However, his very involvement was contentious after having a three match ban overturned by the Court of Arbitration for Sport this very morning. Matthews had been slapped with the ban- as well as a £50,000 fine- after he was accused of miscounting and general unsporting conduct last week. As it was there was little the red head could do to prop up his turgid team mates. Loughborough clearly had their eyes on tomorrow afternoon’s track session as the Preston middle order ran riot in the latter stages of the match. The bowling performance of Sebastian Foy was branded “a joke” by one season ticket holder as he tossed his match-book into the sea. “I won’t be coming to watch anymore,” he continued, “I have followed this team since I was a boy, but they [the players] are clearly only in it for financial reasons now....I am going to watch a sport not yet tarnished by money so I am going to buy a Chelsea FC season ticket next year.”
The latest set-back comes amid reports of a growing unrest in the Loughborough dressing room. Rumours have been circling that Matt Sullivan is looking for a big money move to Birmingham and that Ben Green has fallen out with the coaching team. Their non-inclusion in today’s match only served to underline both their tenuous position and LSAC’s frailty in depth. Whilst exciting new signings were made in September- Robbie Schofield among them- the near £30m spent by the committee has not been in evidence at all this season mainly owing to injury and “other commitments”. LSAC Chair, Rob Hodges bemoaned their absence as well as “strange” officiating decisions after the match. “Obviously it is very worrying,” said Hodges, who could not attend the game but watched it on Sky Sports, “we are just three points above the drop zone now and have not won in a while.....however, I can take heart from a performance of character in difficult circumstances- the ball clearly went into the sea on two occasions and was not replaced. That is very poor.”
Speaking from the East Midlands, a spokesman for LSAC head honchos said that the jobs of Hodges and the rest of the coaching team were safe. “We do not make swift decisions and knew that the controversial introduction of the likes of Alasdair Donaldson would unsettle things briefly," said a senior aide to the Vice Chancellor, "what this club needs is stability and we are confident that Rob and the rest of the team will provide that in the long term.”
The latest set-back comes amid reports of a growing unrest in the Loughborough dressing room. Rumours have been circling that Matt Sullivan is looking for a big money move to Birmingham and that Ben Green has fallen out with the coaching team. Their non-inclusion in today’s match only served to underline both their tenuous position and LSAC’s frailty in depth. Whilst exciting new signings were made in September- Robbie Schofield among them- the near £30m spent by the committee has not been in evidence at all this season mainly owing to injury and “other commitments”. LSAC Chair, Rob Hodges bemoaned their absence as well as “strange” officiating decisions after the match. “Obviously it is very worrying,” said Hodges, who could not attend the game but watched it on Sky Sports, “we are just three points above the drop zone now and have not won in a while.....however, I can take heart from a performance of character in difficult circumstances- the ball clearly went into the sea on two occasions and was not replaced. That is very poor.”
Speaking from the East Midlands, a spokesman for LSAC head honchos said that the jobs of Hodges and the rest of the coaching team were safe. “We do not make swift decisions and knew that the controversial introduction of the likes of Alasdair Donaldson would unsettle things briefly," said a senior aide to the Vice Chancellor, "what this club needs is stability and we are confident that Rob and the rest of the team will provide that in the long term.”
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
NEWS IN BRIEF
All the goings on from Portugal and around the athletics world rounded up by our team.....
WARBURTON FUMING AFTER SESSION BUST UP
Chris Warburton has branded Stephen Emery “an insolent nobody” after an extraordinary incident at yesterday evening’s session. Having “sat on” Warburton throughout the tempo run, Emery then proceeded to allow the 3:39 man to lead out the 1200m rep before kicking past him in the closing stages. Emery then openly mocked his senior after the session by completing a lap of honour and was seen high fiving LSAC’s assistant coach, Alasdair Donaldson. Speaking at a press conference yesterday, Warburton told of how he was “hurt” by the behaviour. “It’s really upsetting when someone treats you like that,” sighed the Notts AC man, “Stephen seems to think that he owns the place now and frankly it’s arrogant.” Warburton then reminded his rival that his PB over 1500m was 22 seconds quicker than Emery’s, “that’s a lifetime in running terms and he [Emery] needs to remember that. I just can’t stand it when these upstarts turn up and start ruining everything.”
LSAC chiefs have “categorically rejected” rumours that the contretemps turned physical. “It was a war of words and nothing else,” said our source, “it happens all the time in athletics and it would be strange if it didn’t.” Loughborough’s Director of Athletics, George Gandy, was in no mood for discussing the incident as he left Portugal this morning. Heading for his private jet at Faro airport, Gandy was furious that journalists were focussing on the bust up rather than his “impressive” tan. “I have worked on this for a whole week,” harrumphed the guru, “and all you lot want to know about is that pasty white Emery- it’s very poor.”
LEIGHTON BAINES EYES LOUGHBOROUGH SWITCH
Everton’s prolific left back, Leighton Baines was spotted in Vilamoura yesterday afternoon sparking rumours that he was about to sign for Loughborough Athletics Club. Everton insiders have revealed that Baines is “unhappy” at Everton and was “very keen” to link up with Gandy, Howe and the rest of the Loughborough team. “Leighton has ruled nothing out,” said a well placed source, “he sees the karaoke evenings that LSAC can offer and wants to get involved....he is something of a Ben Green fan as well”. The developments were hailed as “brilliant news” by senior LSAC athletes. Gary Bradbury said that Baines was “just the sort of guy you’d want to have around....I would definitely shake his hand if I saw him in the street.”
BENITEZ NEW JOB SHOCK
WARBURTON FUMING AFTER SESSION BUST UP
Chris Warburton has branded Stephen Emery “an insolent nobody” after an extraordinary incident at yesterday evening’s session. Having “sat on” Warburton throughout the tempo run, Emery then proceeded to allow the 3:39 man to lead out the 1200m rep before kicking past him in the closing stages. Emery then openly mocked his senior after the session by completing a lap of honour and was seen high fiving LSAC’s assistant coach, Alasdair Donaldson. Speaking at a press conference yesterday, Warburton told of how he was “hurt” by the behaviour. “It’s really upsetting when someone treats you like that,” sighed the Notts AC man, “Stephen seems to think that he owns the place now and frankly it’s arrogant.” Warburton then reminded his rival that his PB over 1500m was 22 seconds quicker than Emery’s, “that’s a lifetime in running terms and he [Emery] needs to remember that. I just can’t stand it when these upstarts turn up and start ruining everything.”
LSAC chiefs have “categorically rejected” rumours that the contretemps turned physical. “It was a war of words and nothing else,” said our source, “it happens all the time in athletics and it would be strange if it didn’t.” Loughborough’s Director of Athletics, George Gandy, was in no mood for discussing the incident as he left Portugal this morning. Heading for his private jet at Faro airport, Gandy was furious that journalists were focussing on the bust up rather than his “impressive” tan. “I have worked on this for a whole week,” harrumphed the guru, “and all you lot want to know about is that pasty white Emery- it’s very poor.”
LEIGHTON BAINES EYES LOUGHBOROUGH SWITCH
Everton’s prolific left back, Leighton Baines was spotted in Vilamoura yesterday afternoon sparking rumours that he was about to sign for Loughborough Athletics Club. Everton insiders have revealed that Baines is “unhappy” at Everton and was “very keen” to link up with Gandy, Howe and the rest of the Loughborough team. “Leighton has ruled nothing out,” said a well placed source, “he sees the karaoke evenings that LSAC can offer and wants to get involved....he is something of a Ben Green fan as well”. The developments were hailed as “brilliant news” by senior LSAC athletes. Gary Bradbury said that Baines was “just the sort of guy you’d want to have around....I would definitely shake his hand if I saw him in the street.”
BENITEZ NEW JOB SHOCK
Sunday, 4 April 2010
PORTUGAL LATEST.....
ATHLETE HAS ‘BELOW PAR’ SESSION SHOCK
A Loughborough-based athlete has not performed as he expected to in a recent Portugal training session, the Lufbra Echo can now reveal. The news has broken despite an attempt by Loughborough and UKA chiefs to block it. In a special sitting, the High Court yesterday threw out an injunction request as the story was deemed to be “in the public interest”. The so far unnamed athlete is believed to have been “roughly half a second” down on the projected splits for a track workout. Insiders have confirmed that special UKA track measurers are being flown to Portugal to re-measure the track in question. An LSAC source told the Echo, “we are all very worried and so have to make sure. The athlete is of course receiving the best care and attention we can provide until we can clear up this mess.” Other potential causes of the setback being mooted include climate change, excessive noise pollution on the track, and even an allegation that the athlete’s food had been spiked by St. Mary’s operatives the night before. Our source added that the athlete in question would remain in hospital “as a precaution” until the affair was resolved. David Howe, part of the Loughborough coaching team, denied that the athlete was one of his personal charges, but did not rule out switching venues if a similar incident was to occur again. “It’s crazy,” said Howe, “everything’s currently on hold and we are considering our options.”
DONALDSON HAILS ‘FLAWLESS’ HODGES
Alasdair Donaldson used his Sunday press conference to heap praise on under-fire LSAC Chair, Rob Hodges. The 1500m specialist was soundly beaten in a recent all-you-can-eat contest and rumours have surfaced that he has been oiling his chest in a dramatic bid to out-tan Ben Green. The Kingston-upon-Hull star has revealed that recent events have taken their toll on him “physically and emotionally”. However, Donaldson had nothing but praise for the 22 year-old. “Rob was absolutely outstanding at the karaoke last night,” enthused the Scot, “he was note perfect throughout and I thought that the performance has a real edge to it.” Hodges said that yesterday evening was “a step in the right direction” but conceded that he still had work to do. “I don’t want to be complacent,” said the former AU Presidential Candidate, “I wasn’t happy with some of the high notes and I am still a little bit out of my depth when it comes to dancing.”
MATTHEWS TITLE CHALLENGE SUFFERS ‘MAJOR BLOW’
Pete Matthews’ tanning title ambitions seem to be in taters this morning after he inadvertently sat in the shade during a conversation with his brother yesterday afternoon. The former AAAs U17 Indoor 1500m Bronze medallist conceded that the race for the crown was now “out of his hands”, but had some firm words for the officials. “No one told me that I was not in direct sunlight,” stormed the injury-prone star, “my interpretation of the rules is that the independent observer should point these things out. I wasted a whole bottle of tanning oil as well- it’s very poor.” The Blackburn man refused to rule himself out of the most exciting title race in years. “I lost a lot of ground yesterday, but this is a funny old game and anyone can slip up at any time. I feel sure there will be a few twists and turns yet.” The one-time GB International (Mountain Running) has already suffered a set-back once this season when he was deducted half a tanning grade for using manufactured enhancers. This latest blunder now seems to open the door for experienced names such as Ben Green, Chris Parr and Ed Womersley.
A Loughborough-based athlete has not performed as he expected to in a recent Portugal training session, the Lufbra Echo can now reveal. The news has broken despite an attempt by Loughborough and UKA chiefs to block it. In a special sitting, the High Court yesterday threw out an injunction request as the story was deemed to be “in the public interest”. The so far unnamed athlete is believed to have been “roughly half a second” down on the projected splits for a track workout. Insiders have confirmed that special UKA track measurers are being flown to Portugal to re-measure the track in question. An LSAC source told the Echo, “we are all very worried and so have to make sure. The athlete is of course receiving the best care and attention we can provide until we can clear up this mess.” Other potential causes of the setback being mooted include climate change, excessive noise pollution on the track, and even an allegation that the athlete’s food had been spiked by St. Mary’s operatives the night before. Our source added that the athlete in question would remain in hospital “as a precaution” until the affair was resolved. David Howe, part of the Loughborough coaching team, denied that the athlete was one of his personal charges, but did not rule out switching venues if a similar incident was to occur again. “It’s crazy,” said Howe, “everything’s currently on hold and we are considering our options.”
DONALDSON HAILS ‘FLAWLESS’ HODGES
Alasdair Donaldson used his Sunday press conference to heap praise on under-fire LSAC Chair, Rob Hodges. The 1500m specialist was soundly beaten in a recent all-you-can-eat contest and rumours have surfaced that he has been oiling his chest in a dramatic bid to out-tan Ben Green. The Kingston-upon-Hull star has revealed that recent events have taken their toll on him “physically and emotionally”. However, Donaldson had nothing but praise for the 22 year-old. “Rob was absolutely outstanding at the karaoke last night,” enthused the Scot, “he was note perfect throughout and I thought that the performance has a real edge to it.” Hodges said that yesterday evening was “a step in the right direction” but conceded that he still had work to do. “I don’t want to be complacent,” said the former AU Presidential Candidate, “I wasn’t happy with some of the high notes and I am still a little bit out of my depth when it comes to dancing.”
MATTHEWS TITLE CHALLENGE SUFFERS ‘MAJOR BLOW’
Pete Matthews’ tanning title ambitions seem to be in taters this morning after he inadvertently sat in the shade during a conversation with his brother yesterday afternoon. The former AAAs U17 Indoor 1500m Bronze medallist conceded that the race for the crown was now “out of his hands”, but had some firm words for the officials. “No one told me that I was not in direct sunlight,” stormed the injury-prone star, “my interpretation of the rules is that the independent observer should point these things out. I wasted a whole bottle of tanning oil as well- it’s very poor.” The Blackburn man refused to rule himself out of the most exciting title race in years. “I lost a lot of ground yesterday, but this is a funny old game and anyone can slip up at any time. I feel sure there will be a few twists and turns yet.” The one-time GB International (Mountain Running) has already suffered a set-back once this season when he was deducted half a tanning grade for using manufactured enhancers. This latest blunder now seems to open the door for experienced names such as Ben Green, Chris Parr and Ed Womersley.
Friday, 2 April 2010
PORTUGAL ROUND-UP
With the country still reeling from "the biggest influx of endurance athletes in the history of the world", the Lufbra Echo looks at the day's big stories....
MAJESTIC MACQUARRIE STUNS GREEN TO TAKE ALL YOU CAN EAT CROWN
“The real winner was the sport,” enthused observers of yesterday evening’s All You Can Eat Carvery Contest. David Macquarrie was quite simply superb. Having already devoured “a mountain” of his own food- the Leeds man then moved on to Ben Green’s half eaten sprouts and Yorkshire puddings. Speaking to the Lufbra Echo after the event, Macquarrie told of “a long road” back to form since being humiliated in Loughborough’s Jaffa Cake Challenge last year. “It was tough,” said the new champion, “I had to ask myself whether this was the sport for me....I had some really dark moments.” Those dark moments were clearly behind him yesterday as, after a “tactical” false start, he kicked away from established names such as Shane Kerr and Rob Hodges. No one can deny that such brilliance is just the shot in the arm the sport needed after a string of negative headlines in recent weeks. The turgid affair that was Paul Walker’s Jaffa Cake victory, followed by allegations surrounding James Griffiths “soaking” biscuits before competitions, has done little for the image of eating contests. “It’s a great day for us all,” said the Chair of UK Eating (UKE), “we can certainly build on this success and perhaps attract a better deal from Sky Sports next year.”
It was not all good news, however. Rob Hodges, venturing back to competition for the first time since failing in his ‘Dairy Milk Challenge’ last year, was unable to rediscover the form that saw him down two medium pizzas in one sitting. In truth, it was a disappointing outing from the outgoing LSAC Chair, who was unable to even match Stephen ‘sensible’ Emery’s six roast potatoes. Hodges headed straight into his warm down after the competition and his spokesman said that he would not be giving any interviews.
HOWE ‘WILL NOT APOLOGISE’ OVER SPIT-GATE
David Howe has been accused of “despicable behaviour” after he was spotted spitting at one of his top athletes. The male athlete, who has asked not be named, told the Echo that he was “traumatised” by the insult. “I want to stand up to this bullying,” said the anonymous source, “but I am afraid that it will jeopardise my place in LSAC’s team”. However, the Canadian born Howe was unrepentant. Claiming that he has “no recollection” of the incident, he accused his charge of being “a pussy”. “There are some guys who just need to toughen up a bit; this is why British running is going to the wall.” When asked whether he will be sitting down to discuss the incident with the athlete, Howe refused to commit to any course of action. “It’s about him and not me....this isn’t really the place for personal discussions”. A spokesman for LSAC did confirm that "a certain athlete" was receiving counselling after an "unfortunate incident" during yesterday's training. It is rumoured (although not confirmed) that the athlete involved is demanding an immediate apology as well as a new pair of trainers as he "cannot even look at" the pair he wore during the run in dispute.
GANDY CONCEDES APRIL FOOLS PRANK ‘WENT TOO FAR’
George Gandy will travel to Lisbon tomorrow to offer a “full and unqualified apology” to the Portuguese Government after sparking mass panic in the country by telling a police officer that the Spanish were about to invade. Portuguese media broke into normal coverage to warn country-folk to stock up on “water and other essentials” in order to prepare for a “long and bloody conflict.” Portugal’s special forces were also placed on standby as senior government officials were rushed into war bunkers. Queues outside supermarkets were said to exceed an hour’s wait and retailers quickly ran out of eggs, milk, bottled water and Christiano Ronaldo calendars. Said one Vilamoura resident, “it’s crazy. I only went in to pick up some baby oil for my three-month old, but there are a group of sprinters here and they’ve got it all.” Gandy is said to have approached the officer early yesterday morning after being egged on by Canadian assistant, David Howe. It is believed that Howe, who maintains that he “was only kidding”, went for a run after making the suggestion and was appalled to discover that the LSAC Director had gone through with it on his return. An insider described “a blazing row” between the pair that ended with Howe hiding Gandy’s hair gel.
MAJESTIC MACQUARRIE STUNS GREEN TO TAKE ALL YOU CAN EAT CROWN
“The real winner was the sport,” enthused observers of yesterday evening’s All You Can Eat Carvery Contest. David Macquarrie was quite simply superb. Having already devoured “a mountain” of his own food- the Leeds man then moved on to Ben Green’s half eaten sprouts and Yorkshire puddings. Speaking to the Lufbra Echo after the event, Macquarrie told of “a long road” back to form since being humiliated in Loughborough’s Jaffa Cake Challenge last year. “It was tough,” said the new champion, “I had to ask myself whether this was the sport for me....I had some really dark moments.” Those dark moments were clearly behind him yesterday as, after a “tactical” false start, he kicked away from established names such as Shane Kerr and Rob Hodges. No one can deny that such brilliance is just the shot in the arm the sport needed after a string of negative headlines in recent weeks. The turgid affair that was Paul Walker’s Jaffa Cake victory, followed by allegations surrounding James Griffiths “soaking” biscuits before competitions, has done little for the image of eating contests. “It’s a great day for us all,” said the Chair of UK Eating (UKE), “we can certainly build on this success and perhaps attract a better deal from Sky Sports next year.”
It was not all good news, however. Rob Hodges, venturing back to competition for the first time since failing in his ‘Dairy Milk Challenge’ last year, was unable to rediscover the form that saw him down two medium pizzas in one sitting. In truth, it was a disappointing outing from the outgoing LSAC Chair, who was unable to even match Stephen ‘sensible’ Emery’s six roast potatoes. Hodges headed straight into his warm down after the competition and his spokesman said that he would not be giving any interviews.
HOWE ‘WILL NOT APOLOGISE’ OVER SPIT-GATE
David Howe has been accused of “despicable behaviour” after he was spotted spitting at one of his top athletes. The male athlete, who has asked not be named, told the Echo that he was “traumatised” by the insult. “I want to stand up to this bullying,” said the anonymous source, “but I am afraid that it will jeopardise my place in LSAC’s team”. However, the Canadian born Howe was unrepentant. Claiming that he has “no recollection” of the incident, he accused his charge of being “a pussy”. “There are some guys who just need to toughen up a bit; this is why British running is going to the wall.” When asked whether he will be sitting down to discuss the incident with the athlete, Howe refused to commit to any course of action. “It’s about him and not me....this isn’t really the place for personal discussions”. A spokesman for LSAC did confirm that "a certain athlete" was receiving counselling after an "unfortunate incident" during yesterday's training. It is rumoured (although not confirmed) that the athlete involved is demanding an immediate apology as well as a new pair of trainers as he "cannot even look at" the pair he wore during the run in dispute.
GANDY CONCEDES APRIL FOOLS PRANK ‘WENT TOO FAR’
George Gandy will travel to Lisbon tomorrow to offer a “full and unqualified apology” to the Portuguese Government after sparking mass panic in the country by telling a police officer that the Spanish were about to invade. Portuguese media broke into normal coverage to warn country-folk to stock up on “water and other essentials” in order to prepare for a “long and bloody conflict.” Portugal’s special forces were also placed on standby as senior government officials were rushed into war bunkers. Queues outside supermarkets were said to exceed an hour’s wait and retailers quickly ran out of eggs, milk, bottled water and Christiano Ronaldo calendars. Said one Vilamoura resident, “it’s crazy. I only went in to pick up some baby oil for my three-month old, but there are a group of sprinters here and they’ve got it all.” Gandy is said to have approached the officer early yesterday morning after being egged on by Canadian assistant, David Howe. It is believed that Howe, who maintains that he “was only kidding”, went for a run after making the suggestion and was appalled to discover that the LSAC Director had gone through with it on his return. An insider described “a blazing row” between the pair that ended with Howe hiding Gandy’s hair gel.
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