In line with much of the British media, the Lufbra Echo has decided not to send a whole team to Poland to cover the IAAF World Cross. Instead we have hand picked a specialist who came 48th in the National Cross in 1992- he REALLY knows his stuff. So sit back and enjoy....
Our man, Mr. A. Geing writes:
First things first, I definitely know what I am talking about. I know what you are all thinking- with the Echo being far too concerned with the upcoming Portugal trip, they have just sent a old, past it, wannabe to cover the World Champs in this Godforsaken hell hole. 'To heck with it' the management may have thought, 'if Steve Cram and Brendan Foster aren't prepared to go there then what's the point in us all going out there? Let's send that nobody instead!' Well they didn't think that. They have sent the best of the best to cover this amazing event. Top 50 in a National Champs- that's me. I know what I am doing in this arena. I am the man who made that oh so bold prediction that Usain Bolt might win the 100m AND the 200m at the Berlin World Champs. And just a fortnight ago, I stuck my neck on the line when I foresaw Mo Farah winning the Inter-Counties! I was the runner up in the North East Dunstable Minor-Sports Journalist Awards in 2003 and then again in 2005 for goodness sake!
Anyway, down to my report. I ran in to Sue Barker at the airport. She wasn't here covering the event, but rather on a "personal trip". And why shouldn't she come to Eastern Europe on a personal errand payed for by the Licence Fee? What a consummate professional and always has time for the little people. I could learn a lot from her. She came over and spoke to me of course, "don't you write for the Echo? Didn't I see you coming 48th at the National Cross in 1992?"- the usual tripe. I am used to dealing with it though- I have class. She looked well- particularly given her Sport Relief exploits. Isn't that a wonderful event? Loads of celebs heading out to the real needy places of the world and stare at all the poor people. I was asked (of course) but unfortunately the BBC were only offering Business Class travel and that just will not do. Anyway, I see this coverage as my public service for the year!
Anyway, down to my report. The Echo were so concerned that I got to my hotel safely (conveniently located a short 3 and a half hour drive from the course) that they asked me to get the train! Not only was them clearly caring as much about this great event as the BBC and UKA, it also gave me the opportunity to have a chat with Jason Henderson, editor of Athletics Weekly no less! What an ass! Totally got his head in the clouds about everything and didn't even remember MY name! Of course, he is jetting off to Portugal straight after the Champs to report on how Pete Matthews is recovering from his latest injury scare. I wouldn't want to go though. The Echo's management have asked me to cover the first North Dunstable open meet and we are expecting the 1500m 'A' race to go sub 4:20 so well worth a trip if you can make it!
Anyway, down to my report. I wonder whether their will be adequate lavatory provision at the course. I do hope so. I remember when, in 2002, I managed to win the North East Dunstable (Western Division) V40 Cross Country title, there was only one loo! Outrageous. I have a bit of a confession to make actually and this IS an exclusive- I used the bushes! I am not sure whether there are any bushes at this course. Do they even have bushes in Poland? Isn't that more an Anglo-Saxon thing? I should ask Alan Titchmarsh when I next see him- woops bit of a name drop there! Wasn't that a great show with David Cameron (or DC as I like to call him) on it? He had some really tough questions to answer but thought he looked statesman-like. Better than those BA Cabin Crew. Thank goodness I shunned the opportunity to fly Club Class with them in order to fly with Ryanair here. Of course, I had the Echo's editor on the phone begging me to fly BA- but I like Ryanair!
Anyway, down to my report. Oh wait- I seem to have hit my word limit! Oh well, quickly and based on all my extensive research since arriving here I can exclusively reveal that Bekele is the firm favourite. After that it really is any one's guess. I will try to keep you updated on my Twitter feed. Now isn't Twitter a wonderful idea? Sort of like Facebook, but more succinct. There's a funny story about that actually. I remember when I was meeting with Barrack Obama in Wash....[That will do]
THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE ANYMORE FROM MR. A. GEING DEPENDING ON WHETHER WE CAN TOLERATE IT.