UKA are “seriously considering” cancelling early athletics meetings this summer after the ash from the Eyjafjallajokull volcano spreads across Europe. European airspace is in meltdown and many athletes are resorting to extraordinary measures in a bid to return to the UK. A UKA spokesman urged athletes to “remain calm” in the crisis, but conceded that it was now “very likely” that events such as the BUCS Outdoor Championships would be axed. “We don’t want people taking insane risks just to get back for BUCS,” said the source from his holiday home in New Zealand, “Nick Goolab and Stephen Sharp have already attempted to swim home from Portugal for the National 12 Stage and we can’t have everyone trying this.” The Belgrave pair were fished out of the Atlantic Ocean just half a mile from shore after Sharp inadvertently went the wrong way. Speaking from a hospital in Lisbon, where both were given the all clear, Sharp said “I didn’t realise that my iPhone wasn’t water proof and so the route map application broke and we ended up swimming towards Africa....Nick’s knackered now but it’s all good training.” Despite the setback, Sharp refused to rule himself out of the relays that start at midday tomorrow. “It’s not over yet,” said the most successful relay runner in British history, “I have spoken to Alan [Mead, Belgrave manager] and asked for a later leg. We could run there and just do a shortened cool down.” For their part, Belgrave have denied encouraging their stars to take unprecedented measures in order to make the relays. “We preach responsibility,” said an insider, “our guys must remember that they are role models to millions of kids and when they do something stupid it may be copied.”
In Portugal, David Howe and Alasdair Donaldson have been delayed in departing from LSAC’s warm weather training camp and Preston AC have had to postpone their return by nearly a week. A Preston source bemoaned a “difficult” situation. “The other night we really fell out with the Loughborough lot on the grounds we wouldn’t see them again. Now we’re stuck with them and their egos for ages- it’s awful.” Donaldson meanwhile is believed to have abandoned a bid to cycle up to Front Romeu in the Pyrenees, where his UKA colleagues are currently based. It is rumoured that the Scot fell off his bike only three kilometres into the trip and “badly grazed” his right knee. Our UKA source went on, “this situation does weird things to people. I know that Alasdair wants to be with the guys in France but he’ll be fine in Portugal.” Yesterday evening, Donaldson indicated that he was “gravely concerned” at the prospect of being stranded in Portugal. The Newham and Essex Beagle has claimed that he is being “relentlessly bullied” by the girls at the LSAC camp. “They aren’t being very nice,” sobbed the Scot, “Dani [Christmas] said that my tan wasn’t very good yesterday and that’s so upsetting.”
Back in the UK, some athletes are refusing to train in light of the “horrendous” air quality. Gary Bradbury revealed that he could “hardly breathe” on a recent recovery run and said that he would be writing off the next three weeks as a precaution. Chris Warburton was in a similar situation and indicated that his “entire season” may well now be over. “I think the dust cloud had an early effect on me in Portugal,” said the 3:38 man, “it’s been erupting for a couple of weeks now and that would explain why Stephen Emery was able to beat me in training.”
Elsewhere, Paula Radcliffe has paid £250,000 for a special “EasyBreathe” system to help her avoid any long term damage during her training. The Bedford and County said, “it’s great- I wear this special mask and it almost feels like normal.” The Marathon World Record holder revealed that there was a bit of snag when the company refused to print the Nike Swoosh on the device and thus rendering it useless. “It was fine in the end because Gary [Lough, Paula’s husband] drew it on with a Nike permanent marker,” Radcliffe explained, “he’s good like that- always coming up with ingenious solutions.”