Search This Blog

Sunday 30 May 2010

SPORT CITY BMC: ‘SLOW TRACK’ ANGERS ATHLETES

Numerous athletes have hit out at the Sport City surface this evening, with some stating that it is the “athletics equivalent of Wembley”. BMC chiefs have been involved in an emergency meeting this evening to discuss the issue after many complained that the track seemed “too spongy”. “It cost me at least 2 seconds a lap”, thundered an unnamed 5,000m athlete searching for a computer to whine on Eightlane, “it really is unacceptable in a meeting like this. I expected better.” Rumours that meeting officials were considering “rounding down” all times by a few seconds have dismissed along with reports that the “last 300m was too long”. A spokesman said, “we take these sorts of complaints very seriously and so will look into them. However, all times remain the same.”

Meanwhile, Ben Scarlett was left red faced (geddit?!) when he mistakenly took a friend’s spikes to the race. Aside from upsetting his sponsors- the rogue spikes were some three sizes too large for the 1:48 man causing him to stumble badly at the start of his race. Explaining the mix up, Scarlett said “these things happen. I thought it was a bit weird when I was doing strides, but it was only after I looked down at the start that I realised. I’ll be back”. Scarlett was not the only one to be upset at the start. Many athletes have slammed what they called “an excessively loud” starter’s gun. “It made me jump right out of my skin,” harrumphed a distraught Robbie Schofield, “it ruined any hope I had of running well.” Others reported a “sharp rise in heart rate” upon hearing the gun. “Look at these readouts,” stormed Steve Sharp brandishing his Garmin, “can you see the spike? That has to be worth at least a second a lap.”

“Over enthusiastic crowd support,” also received a fair bit of stick this evening, with some athletes calling for future events to be held “behind closed doors.” One upset 1500m man said that it was “really time the BMC addressed this.” Asking to remain nameless, the athlete continued “when you are in the racing zone, the last thing you need is some Muppet banging on the advertising boards and shouting ‘dig in, mate!’ What does that even mean? They might as well scream ‘keep putting one foot in front of the other at a reasonable pace’- that’s how pointless it is”.

BMC executives were keen to play down the concerns raised and instead hailed a “hugely successful evening of athletics”. A senior source said, “what a thrill it was to watch these great races and the women’s events as well. I know some people were disappointed with their times and we are looking into that.” The spokesperson remained coy on whether the Sport City track will now be dug up and resurfaced- but with some threatening a boycott next year, it may well be the only option.