Security is set to be “tighter than ever before” at the UK Championships, according to UKA insiders. It is believed that UKA have tightened the ticketing policy after thousands of touts were arrested outside the ground last year and many fans were turned away having bought counterfeit tickets. The ugly scenes that appeared on the final Sunday of the 2009 event- with many desperate supporters charging the gate in a bid to get inside- are the subject of an ongoing judicial review, the results of which will be published later this year. A senior UKA source said that lessons would be learned from past mistakes. “The police have doubled their provision,” said the member of Neils De Vos’ office, “I think it is fair to say we underestimated the animosity that existed between rival sets of fans last year.” Crowd segregation is to be “absolute” for the first time since the Coe-Ovett era, a time that saw many hooligans handed life bans.
On the track, UKA chiefs have been keen to play down rumours that the distance events will suffer from being so close to the Trafford Grand Prix to be held on Tuesday. Event organisers from Stretford have been talking up their “tremendous fields” and “cast iron guarantees from top guns” and this has angered some inside UKA. “I am certain that the National Championships will prevail,” said UKA’s events secretary, “we have made it clear to all at Trafford that such scheduling in future will be viewed very dimly.”
BEEB COMMITS TO ‘MORE COVERAGE THAN EVER’
The BBC have confirmed that the athletics will be given “prime time billing” and as such “at least 45 minutes” of live action will be shown over the course of the weekend. It is at this stage unclear who will be anchoring the coverage as Sue Barker is tied up at Wimbledon and the rest of the BBC Sport team has been dispatched to South Africa. An insider said, “to be honest, we could have done with England going out on Wednesday. We need some guys back here.” Jonathan Edwards once again “failed to impress” in his anchorage of the European Team Championships last weekend, and thus it seems likely that Hazel Irvine will be brought out of the wilderness she has inhabited since the now infamous Crystal Palace-gate last year. Irvine courted heavy criticism after looking like she was about to “burst with excitement” at the news of a failed Jamaican drug test and was accused of “going to pieces” when attempting to interview Usain Bolt. The BBC have not yet confirmed whether Phil Jones will be available to ask athletes “how they feel”, as he was last seen harassing exhausted tennis players in SW19.
CAPELLO IN SHOCK VISIT TO McLEOD PREPARATION SESSION
VAN COMMENEE SUPPORTS DRUG CHEATS ‘BECAUSE HE GREW UP IN AMSTERDAM’
Angry Eightlaners have hit out at UKA’s performance chief after he was seen to show support to Britain’s number one sprinter, Dwain Chambers. In some fearful reviews on the popular running forum, Van Commonee is accused of “[spending] many of his formative years in the cafes of Amsterdam” on the grounds that he lived “in the suburbs” as a youngster. The anonymous poster, who presumably did not spend many of his/her formative years in the schools of England, went on to add “someone in UKA who does understand the British public needs to have a quiet word”. ‘Outlook’, clearly horrified by the situation, added: “there is wacky backy and hash cake on sale in every city centre bar”. This, coupled with his “suicidal” backing of Chambers, clearly proves that Van Commenee must have spent his entire childhood doped up and is now causing “Women’s Institute types [to be] switching off their televisions in disgust” [‘Point’ et al.,2010]. One can’t help but feel that the Dutchman’s position is now untenable and his resignation will surely follow.
ISNER AND MAHUT MATCH LONGER THAN RADCLIFFE TRAINING RUN
The Wimbledon tennis match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut lasted longer than one of Paula Radcliffe’s ‘medium length’ runs. The revelation comes as Radcliffe lambasted members of the press for praising the two players’ staying power. “This is the problem with tennis players,” fumed the usually placid Radcliffe, “they stay on court for a little longer than they would have hoped and suddenly they want they earth. It’s pathetic.” Revealing that she has “warmed down for longer than their entire match”, Radcliffe maintained that she did not train too hard. “If other people spent the time I did running, then maybe we wouldn’t be in the mess that we are now in,” she said from her toe strengthening suite, “my injuries are nothing to do with over training.” In an unusually vocal mood, Radcliffe also furiously denied speculation that her next child would be named ‘Nike’.