TEENAGE KICKS: Gerrard hopes to transfer his "passion" for working with youngsters to athletics
GERRARD EYES COACHING ROLE
Steven Gerrard is “actively considering” taking up a job within UKA after he retires from football, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. The multi-millionaire Liverpudlian- who captained England during their recent failure at the World Cup- has said that he wants to “give something back” to the country once his footballing days end. “I enjoy working with kids,” Gerrard said from his hide-out in Mexico, “I think that football is being tarnished somewhat and I watch athletics on the television a fair bit. I think I could add a lot of value.” Gerrard has often been praised for his “enormous heart and lungs” when on and off the football pitch and UKA officials are secretly hoping he can turn that fitness and fighting (in a purely self-defensive way) spirit to “transforming British distance running”. However, an insider revealed that it was unlikely Gerrard would be let loose on the senior ranks for a while. “It’s a tricky business and it will take time,” said the source, “Steven has a particularly positive impact on the ladies and so we are thinking of assigning him to the Junior Girls. I doubt he can do much harm there and can move on to the grown-ups when he is ready.”
MISERABLE McLEOD FORCED TO RUE MISSED SOLIHULL OPPORTUNITY
Ryan McLeod has conceded that he made a “catastrophic error” in opting for a race in Belgium over the BMC Solihull Grand Prix. The Tipton Harrier was left red faced when he was only able to chalk up his third fastest 5000m performance at the Belgium meeting, whilst the Solihull event was won by landscape gardener, Mark Draper. Disappointed Eightlaners were upset at missing a potential showdown between the pair: “this is the guy who bleats at not being given paid trips [14:01] his dad [Olympic Silver Medallist, Mike McLeod] would have been embarressed [sic] to be offered anythig [sic] for that,” thundered ‘shouldhebepaid’ in reference to the fact that McLeod had to pay for his journey. A spokesman for the McLeod camp said that his charge was “saddened” to hear that the Eightlane community were getting exercised again. “Obviously, Ryan would rather have been involved in a race where two people broke 14:20 as opposed to one where ten ran under 13:50, but these things happen,” said the source, adding that he was “deeply sorry” to anyone who had taken exception to his race choices.
ASTON TO BLAME: WHITTLE
Ed Aston has been blamed for Rob Whittle's calamitous closing 150m in the ‘B’ race of the 1500m at Solihull on Saturday evening. The Loughborough star slammed Aston for running “an inspirational race” just moments before his own. “I watched that and as a result went out too hard,” sighed Whittle after the race, “it’s all his [Aston’s] fault. I hope he is happy now.” Aston was imperious in front running the majority of his race and being rewarded with a 1:47.96 PB. A Loughborough spokesman has confirmed that they will be asking the BMC to caution the Cambridge & Coleridge star against running so well again. “It just isn’t on to expect other athletes to watch superb performances like that and then go out and run sensibly,” said the official, “frankly we think it’s a little selfish.”
POLICE IN BOWSER FOUL UP
Police have thanked readers of the Lufbra Echo for their help in trying to locate the missing athlete Matt Bowser, but have been forced to concede that they bungled a move to intercept him on Sunday evening. “Mr. Bowser arrived back at Stansted airport after a race oversees,” said Dt. Supt. Lukatme who is leading the investigation, “somehow he gave us the slip. We are still looking for him and once again worn against approaching this man.” In an ironic twist, it seems likely that Bowser escaped the police by using the Garmin that UKA are trying to locate. UKA officials have spoken of Charles Van Commenee’s “sleepless nights” over the missing gadget and reiterated an appeal for its safe return. “Please, Matt have the heart to bring the Garmin home,” said the press secretary, “it’s never too late”.