Eightlaners are amongst the least intelligent in society according to a recent survey. The research team carried out in depth psychometric testing on a random sample of anonymous posters on the popular running forum and found that, on average, posters exhibited a “worryingly poor aptitude for basic functions such as spelling, grammar, punctuation and numeracy.” Common problems included the pluralisation of words via the use of an apostrophe and repeated misunderstandings surrounding the correct usage of the words ‘their’, ‘there’ and ‘they’re’. A research insider revealed that they average IQ of many posters was “double digit at best”. “We’re dealing with the lowest society has to offer here,” continued the source, “it’s shocking stuff”.
The authors of the report- due to be published in the Lancet later this month- concluded that this limited capacity to do anything well was the fundamental reason why posters were “so utterly negative, bitter and twisted in their approach to running and life generally." Other studies have found similar findings in the American site, Letsrun.com. "Our colleagues in Harvard found posters on Letsrun to be slightly more intelligent," said one author, "however, running ability was even worse than exhibited on Eightlane. Average age was also higher and therefore posts tended to be nastier and more personal." Despite this, the research team did note an "alarming shift" towards Eightlane being a site for personal attacks. "Talk of spare tires springs to mind," said one psychologist, "Eightlane gets more and more despicable by the day."