UKA MISSING CAKE RIDDLE
BMC DENIES 'MAKING UP' TIMES
Red faced officials at the British Milers Club have been forced to deny that they made up the times at a recent meeting. An insider said: "it was absolutely legitimate. Bob stood at the start of the race and counted out loud for the duration of the 5k. We then had Gill writing down the times as people crossed the line." The source dismissed suggestions that this wasn't accurate and rejected accusations that they asked athletes "what they thought they'd run" after the event.
ATHLETE FORMERLY KNOWN AS GEELE IN PASSPORT GAFFE
The athlete formerly known as Geele, now to be referred to as Gala has lost his passport just days after being given it, the Lufbra Echo can reveal. Concerned UKA chiefs have asked the public to be on the look out for the document, which Geele (or Gala, possibly both) last saw when boarding a tram in Wimbledon. "It's mystery," sighed a UKA official, "it took us ages to get the lad British Citizenship and now we may have to start over." Insiders have also denied rumours that the Newham star changed his name in a sponsorship deal with Gala bingo.
BARNI IN CRYSTAL PALACE SNUB
OUT IN THE COLD: Barni failed to impress in Barcelona
If you go down to the Palace today you won't be seeing Barni Bear, the Lufbra Echo is sad to report. After what many have called a "disappointing" European Championships, the mascot was denied entry into the United Kingdom early this morning. Mr. Barni, who in truth struggled to live up to the glorious performance of his relative Berlino, was arrested at Heathrow after UKA decided that they didn't want him "anywhere near" the Diamond League meeting this evening. An insider said that many found the bear "disturbing". "Let's face it," said the source "he isn't the cuddly wonder that Berlino was...there's something not right about him; more an albino prototype than a sporting mascot."