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Sunday 14 March 2010

BAUER IMPRESSION LANDS STEWART IN JAIL

UKA's Director of Endurance, Ian Stewart, has spent the night in a Doha police cell after he and George Gandy were caught pretending to be characters in hit US TV show 24. Stewart, who was playing the show's star Jack Bauer, was arrested after trying to fend off Gandy's advances with a banana. A police spokesman confirmed that a British man had been arrested after police suspected him of possessing a dangerous weapon. "A man in a Great Britain tracksuit was caught making strange noises with a banana," the officer said, "it is an offence that carries a maximum penalty of 30 years in prison in Qatar." It is thought that Gandy evaded capture after spotting the patrol and sneaking away as the police detained Stewart.

It is believed that Stewart pleaded his innocence at the time and demanded that the arresting officer "contact Chloe O'Brien at CTU" to vouch for him. "He was very upset" said the spokesman, "particularly so when he realised that his banana was not loaded". Police are said to be willing to release the UKA chief but no one has come forward and provide bail. Gandy has hurriedly flown home and other officials are believed to be on a two day "strictly business" cruise.

This news comes at the end of a difficult weekend for UKA. Not only has the team fallen short of its five medal target, but Chief Executive Niels De Vos had to apologise to hotel staff after several senior UKA coaches were caught playing hide and seek in the early hours. Speaking from a harbour-side restaurant, the UKA ace said that he would be "evaluating" the conduct of his team.