With the country still reeling from "the biggest influx of endurance athletes in the history of the world", the Lufbra Echo looks at the day's big stories....
MAJESTIC MACQUARRIE STUNS GREEN TO TAKE ALL YOU CAN EAT CROWN
“The real winner was the sport,” enthused observers of yesterday evening’s All You Can Eat Carvery Contest. David Macquarrie was quite simply superb. Having already devoured “a mountain” of his own food- the Leeds man then moved on to Ben Green’s half eaten sprouts and Yorkshire puddings. Speaking to the Lufbra Echo after the event, Macquarrie told of “a long road” back to form since being humiliated in Loughborough’s Jaffa Cake Challenge last year. “It was tough,” said the new champion, “I had to ask myself whether this was the sport for me....I had some really dark moments.” Those dark moments were clearly behind him yesterday as, after a “tactical” false start, he kicked away from established names such as Shane Kerr and Rob Hodges. No one can deny that such brilliance is just the shot in the arm the sport needed after a string of negative headlines in recent weeks. The turgid affair that was Paul Walker’s Jaffa Cake victory, followed by allegations surrounding James Griffiths “soaking” biscuits before competitions, has done little for the image of eating contests. “It’s a great day for us all,” said the Chair of UK Eating (UKE), “we can certainly build on this success and perhaps attract a better deal from Sky Sports next year.”
It was not all good news, however. Rob Hodges, venturing back to competition for the first time since failing in his ‘Dairy Milk Challenge’ last year, was unable to rediscover the form that saw him down two medium pizzas in one sitting. In truth, it was a disappointing outing from the outgoing LSAC Chair, who was unable to even match Stephen ‘sensible’ Emery’s six roast potatoes. Hodges headed straight into his warm down after the competition and his spokesman said that he would not be giving any interviews.
HOWE ‘WILL NOT APOLOGISE’ OVER SPIT-GATE
David Howe has been accused of “despicable behaviour” after he was spotted spitting at one of his top athletes. The male athlete, who has asked not be named, told the Echo that he was “traumatised” by the insult. “I want to stand up to this bullying,” said the anonymous source, “but I am afraid that it will jeopardise my place in LSAC’s team”. However, the Canadian born Howe was unrepentant. Claiming that he has “no recollection” of the incident, he accused his charge of being “a pussy”. “There are some guys who just need to toughen up a bit; this is why British running is going to the wall.” When asked whether he will be sitting down to discuss the incident with the athlete, Howe refused to commit to any course of action. “It’s about him and not me....this isn’t really the place for personal discussions”. A spokesman for LSAC did confirm that "a certain athlete" was receiving counselling after an "unfortunate incident" during yesterday's training. It is rumoured (although not confirmed) that the athlete involved is demanding an immediate apology as well as a new pair of trainers as he "cannot even look at" the pair he wore during the run in dispute.
GANDY CONCEDES APRIL FOOLS PRANK ‘WENT TOO FAR’
George Gandy will travel to Lisbon tomorrow to offer a “full and unqualified apology” to the Portuguese Government after sparking mass panic in the country by telling a police officer that the Spanish were about to invade. Portuguese media broke into normal coverage to warn country-folk to stock up on “water and other essentials” in order to prepare for a “long and bloody conflict.” Portugal’s special forces were also placed on standby as senior government officials were rushed into war bunkers. Queues outside supermarkets were said to exceed an hour’s wait and retailers quickly ran out of eggs, milk, bottled water and Christiano Ronaldo calendars. Said one Vilamoura resident, “it’s crazy. I only went in to pick up some baby oil for my three-month old, but there are a group of sprinters here and they’ve got it all.” Gandy is said to have approached the officer early yesterday morning after being egged on by Canadian assistant, David Howe. It is believed that Howe, who maintains that he “was only kidding”, went for a run after making the suggestion and was appalled to discover that the LSAC Director had gone through with it on his return. An insider described “a blazing row” between the pair that ended with Howe hiding Gandy’s hair gel.