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Friday 10 September 2010

MATTHEWS 'HAS NO FUTURE' AT LOUGHBOROUGH

Pete Matthews' contract at Loughborough will not be renewed when it expires at the end of next season. Speaking at a Press Conference somewhere in the Mediterranean, Loughborough's infamous Director of Athletics, George Gandy said that his patience with the disgraced AAAs fraudster had run out. "Pete arrived at Loughborough ready to take on the world," said the guru, "but injury after injury and scandal after scandal have led us to conclude that he has no future with us. He will be free to go at the end of his contract."

Matthews came to Loughborough in 2008 and immediately raised eyebrows by wandering around campus in full International kit and spending a significant amount of time in the ice baths with Matt Sullivan. His apparent difficulty with running quickly became clear and he reverted to a role as timekeeper/ videographer for much of his first year. He shot to fame in 2009 when winning the final 6.5 mile Club Tempo Run, before being criticised by George Gandy for "tapering" for the event. Since then, his career has struggled to reach the dizzy heights of his AAAs U17 Indoor 1500m Bronze medal in 2006, but this has not stopped him becoming an established name on the athletics circuit.

Gandy's decision will come as a major blow to the former GB International (Mountain Running) who was pictured on a beach last week under the headline 'BEACHED CAMEL'. However, a recent interview with a Sunday newspaper indicates why Mr Gandy has lost faith in the Blackburn man. In the interview, Matthews told of how the coming year would be "very different" to his previous experiences at Loughborough. "I know that I have not been as dedicated as I could have been" said the most famous athlete never to have broken 4 minutes for 1500m, "but I was limited by some personal constraints and I let running get in the way a bit. I vow to pull as many girls as possible in Freshers Week and that will hopefully set the tone for the coming year. I'm a different man now when I'm out - my standards have been significantly lowered."

News of Matthews' imminent departure has been greeted with indifference from many. Ranging from one source who claimed never to have had any time for him, to another who said that it was a "sad loss" for the African Violets. "Who's going to mess up the kit order now?" asked one distance runner, "this is very bad news indeed. At least we won't have to endure that bloody horn again".

The Lufbra Echo contacted the Matthews camp, but nobody was available to comment.

COMING UP IN THE ECHO - FULL COVERAGE OF THE MATTHEWS DEPARTURE INCLUDING:
- Pete Matthews: A History of the Dreamer
- Is it really "very easy" to break 15 minutes for 5,000m?
- How fat is too fat?
- Are Gingers naturally disadvantaged in life?
- Is it ever right to lie to get yourself onto a AAAs Start List?
- Loughborough Kit Scandal: What REALLY Happened