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Monday, 2 May 2011

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: MY ROMANCE WITH MR X BY MISS Y

In a sensational exclusive interview with the lufbra echo, a well established female celebrity has told of her "three MONTH affair" with an "athletics name" who was in a "substantive partnership" at the time . The lufbra echo has been blocked from revealing the details of the relationship after the High Court granted a super-injunction late last night barring any of the world's media from disclosing the names of the two involved.

In the interview, Miss Y (not her real name) exposed of how Mr X (not his real name) demanded sex on the High Jump mats of many well known athletics stadia around the country. "Bedford, Loughborough, Eton - we did it at a lot of venues" she said "sometimes we'd do it in the long jump pit as well. He was very demanding." It is unclear whether the couple ever shared a bed together.

In unprecedented scenes lat last night, lawyers for Mr X successfully argued that revealing details of the affair would "damage the image of British athletics and athletes across the world" and that it would amount to a "gross invasion of privacy." Mr Justice Eady agreed and denied the echo leave to appeal his judgement.

Miss Y - who has recently returned from being abroad - said that she felt "let down" by the British legal system. "How can they do that?" she sobbed "I am only guilty of falling in love and now I get nothing at all." Mr X's legal team argued that Miss Y had been "well cared for" since the fling ended.

Sunday, 1 May 2011

DONALDSON BLASTS 'HOPELESS' BUCS SET UP

With George Gandy away on urgent guru business he has left his press conferences to his Executive PA, Alasdair Donaldson - who has wasted no time in calling for an "urgent review" of the BUCS hierarchy. Furious that start lists were "going up too late" and the "wind was too strong", Donaldson wondered whether there was "any point in Loughborough turning up for the rest of the Championships".

"You want the officials to get the big things right" thundered the irate Scot (who doesn't have time to read this blog) "I'm afraid that wasn't the case today. Where was the finish line technology? We were lucky that it didn't cost us - but mark my words they will get a really major decision wrong by Monday and then we'll all be talking about it". The Newham and Essex Beagle went on to state that he "clearly saw" Mick Woods of St Mary's going into the officials' changing area and "leave with a big smile on his face".

Donaldson - who both Loughborough and UKA have hurriedly distanced themselves from - then voiced his "utter disgust" at the preferential treatment offered to the Birmingham representatives. "Did you see the plush holding area they get?" stormed the tea specialist "whilst Ian [Anholm], David [Howe] and I shiver in the wind. It's a total joke - beyond the pale". Bud Buldaro and his officials have been granted exclusive access to the VIP lounge at Bedford after Buldaro slammed the coffee provision at last year's event. "I don't know if it is because they have Kukri on their vests" Donaldson continued "or it's because everyone likes Birmingham, but something's wrong when you see so many decisions going their way. It's very poor".

BUCS have dismissed Donaldson's comments as "hysteria" and have clarified that no bribes were received from Mick Woods and that Bud Buldaro had "won a competition" granting him special treatment for the duration of the Championships.

On the track, Loughborough survived a scare from Kieran Flannery who was nearly knocked out in the heats of the 800m after easing up well before the line, whilst self-proclaimed pre-race favourite Stephen Emery qualified with ease for the final of the 5,000m.