Robbie Schofield has thrown Loughborough’s plans for next weekend’s BUCS Championships into chaos after announcing the death of his goldfish, Henry. The 1:49 800m man was amongst the favourites to win his event, but has now revealed that it is “unlikely” that he will be able to compete. An ashen faced Schofield revealed his “devastating” news at a hastily arranged press conference this morning. “Henry and I had been together for a little over eighteen months,” said the Newham and Essex Beagle, “I feel empty inside now. I can’t even think about running.” Schofield also revealed that the death was unexpected and the result of a “catastrophic” accident in the lavatory. “I was giving Henry his weekly clean and so had transferred him into another bowl,” sobbed the fastest U20 800m athlete last year, “my phone rang and I jumped, knocking Hen down the loo. I tried to save him, but there was pure bleach down there- he never stood a chance.”
Loughborough’s Director of Athletics, George Gandy said that Schofield’s withdrawal would be a “major blow” for the African Violets. Speaking from Front Romeu via Skype, the guru said “our thoughts have to be with Robbie right now and I won’t be rushing him into making a decision- it’s entirely his call.” Gandy added that Schofield would be placed on compasionate leave for the foreseeable future. “I know that the fire brigade have now retrieved the body of the fish and so arrangements can be made. This may take a while though as there has to be a post mortem.”
It is true to say that Schofield has not had the same vote of support from other coaches at LSAC. David Howe, Gandy’s illustrious sidekick and the man currently in charge of Loughborough’s endurance operation labelled Schofield “careless”. “I think the real question here is why Robbie was allowed to keep a goldfish at all,” said the Canadian, “cleaning the tank in the bathroom is surely an accident waiting to happen.”
Schofield’s official website has been closed today “as a mark of respect” but his spokesman said that the 19 year-old hoped to be back competing “in the next few weeks” and that a decision on BUCS would be left as late as possible. LSAC Chair, Rob Hodges confirmed that black ribbons would adorn all Loughborough vests at the event in memory of Henry.