ON THE RUN: Police have warned the public not to approach Mr. Bowser
Police hunting UKA’s most wanted athlete, Matt Bowser have issued a fresh appeal for help this evening. It is believed that the Lincoln man has disappeared with a “cherished” Garmin and owes “at least one” athlete some money. The 3:43 1500m man- who was linked to a drugs scandal earlier this year- has been missing for “a few days” and although stopping short of offering a reward for his capture, police have said they “would really appreciate” some information on his whereabouts. “Mr. Bowser is not to be approached under any circumstances,” said Dt. Supt. Lukatme, “he could be carrying anything from a spike key to some recovery shake and could cause serious harm. If any member of the public sees him, they should report it to a Police Officer immediately.”
Specially trained administrators have been drafted in from UKA’s offices in the quest for the missing Garmin. At their own press conference today, a UKA spokesman called on the Lincoln man to safely return the gadget. “I want to say this to Mr. Bowser,” said Ian Stewart’s press secretary, “it’s not too late. All we want is the Garmin back where it belongs safe and sound. We can deal with the other problems later. Matt, from the bottom of our UKA pockets, we ask you to just bring the Garmin home.” It is hoped that the emotive appeal- along with three days of expensive press advertising- will prise Bowser from wherever he is hiding. However, many believe that Bowser is unlikely to be seen again. “He’s done a runner,” opined a taxi driver close to where the star athlete grew up, “he used to run off without paying for taxi rides when he was a lad…..still owes me £4.50 from 1997”.
Do you know where Matt Bowser is hiding? Can you help us find him? If you know anything, however minor or insignificant you think it is, please contact the Echo to help us catch the wretch (and in doing so seek a load of good publicity and get “in there” with UKA!) The Echo is offering a free Parker pen to the first person to provide useful information, so get hunting!