WORLD EXCLUSIVE: ECHO BLOWS LID ON EARLY NIGHT FARCE
The Lufbra Echo can now exclusively reveal the "shocking antics" of several of its leading sports scholars. It is understood that George Gandy is contemplating flying home from Delhi to address the "absolutely disgraceful" behaviour of some of his big names. One female star - who cannot be named for legal reasons - reportedly "spent the night in her own bed" just last night and "did not consume one unit of alcohol". The appalling revelations come just days after the same scholar was snapped doing what bystanders called "a moderately serious workout" on one of the University's sports pitches. At the time, an observer commented: "anyone would think she [the scholar] took athletics seriously."
With George Gandy away, it fell to Alasdair Donaldson (his PA) to categorically deny the accusations. Speaking to our reporter, the 33 year-old said: "this is farcical journalism. Not one of our scholars would ever contemplate putting athletics ahead of a social life." However, a disgruntled insider (who is believed to have been passed over for a seat in the 'open plan' area of the office) told the Echo that this was not the first time scholars had been "hitting the sack early". "It's a real problem," said the source, "and something George wants to address. I know that one of [the scholars] contemplated not being injured for a while and that was met with uproar."
It is believed that the University authorities are becoming increasingly concerned about a fad of "watching DVDs in the evening" rather than going to one of Loughborough's nightclubs. An aide to the Vice Chancellor said that she was worried that athletes were turning up to sessions completely sober. "We pay these kids a lot of money and give them free accommodation," said the aide "so it's a bit of a slap in the face when they actually do some reasonable training." It is also rumoured that one star suggested that he might even compete for the University once in a while although this was dismissed as "absolute nonsense" by all at Loughborough.