A spectator has been seen attending the Commonwealth Games in Delhi, the Lufbra Echo can exclusively reveal. In a devastating blow for the Games' organisers, the observer was spotted slipping into the swimming arena. "This is an absolute disgrace," said a Delhi local "we were promised that if we went along with these Games and pretended that there were absolutely no issues with poverty whatsoever - which there aren't - no one would turn up to watch."
Shocked athletes voiced their own disappointment. "Well it's really upsetting isn't it?" said an unnamed athlete, "we figured that we didn't need to prepare because no one really cares about the Commies. Now there are even rumours that more than ten people may show up." A Team England spokesman was keen to play down what he called "speculation and nothing more". "There is absolutely no evidence that people are coming to watch or have any intention of doing so," said the senior source who pitched in with the cleaning effort prior to the Games beginning, "this is just media scaremongering".
Games insiders have hailed the "unqualified success" that was the opening ceremony. "No one watched it at all," said a senior executive "thank goodness. I think we are proving all our critics wrong now."