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Thursday, 2 December 2010

REVEALED: BUCS IN VOTE SELLING SCANDAL

A scandal that looks set to shake British University sport to its foundations can be revealed today. The bidding process to host the Cross Country Championships is one of the most hotly contested votes in world sport and the delegates who vote on who has the right to host them are open to bribery, an investigation by the Lufbra Echo has found. This news comes days after Birmingham University chiefs were forced to deny accusations that they offered a free night's accommodation at a local Travelodge to one of the BUCS Vice Presidents in order to land the event in February of 2011.

And now the whole process for choosing the hosts of the 2012 event has been plunged into chaos. Posing as a senior member of the 'BUCS at Falmouth' campaign team, our undercover reporter offered a Parker pen to a major player on the decision panel. Dismissing the revelations as "hysterical ramblings", the BUCS Vice President for Voting Affairs strongly defended the "robust nature" of the vote. "It is ethically as sound as it gets" stormed an outraged Vice President from his Soho office "how dare this cowboy outfit come in and deliberately undermine the whole process? Who are they to do this?"

The Echo did not stop at its initial enquiries. This time posing as a representative for the Bolton Institute of Higher Education bid team, our reporter offered one decision maker a Smarties McFlurry in order to gain his backing for the campaign. The delegate then directed us to the Chief of London Operations - who is believed to able to deliver three votes (South London, North London and South East England) - and he agreed to provide "full backing" in exchange for a pair of Wellington boots.

Insiders at BUCS have indicated that all plans for a vote later this month have been shelved, with some speculating that the event will default back to Scotland as it did after the scandal that was the Aberdeen snow race. "These stories - and that is all they are at this stage - have changed everything" said the senior source "it even brings into dispute the Birmingham bid. Scotland could be hosting BUCS Cross for years to come".