A landmark study to be published in the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) looks set to leave the athletics world reeling after it has linked "increased training volume" with performative gains. Whilst academics at the echo's favourite University of North Dunstable have stressed that the study is "not yet complete", the interim results look set to blow current approaches to athletics out of the water.
A spokesman for the popular running forum for children, Eightlane dismissed any links between running and performance. Calling the study "irresponsible", the source claimed that academics "failed to provide a single reference athlete". The anonymous insider going by the name 'Interested' added: "it is these sort of gimmicks that are derailing any hopes we have of getting British distance running great again. The best thing athletes can do is wear compression garments, eat lots of supplements, obsess about their diets and whine about other athletes on our forum. Hard training never got anyone anywhere".
The authors of the study stand by their work, with one even disputing whether the "magic necklaces" worn by the likes of Paula Radcliffe actually work. "As we have said, these are early results" stressed the Emeritus Professor "but in at least 80% of our subjects, actual training and not mystery supplements and gluten free bread resulted in positive results". The study also questioned the increasing prevalence of allergies in distance runners - stating that "up to 99% were of questionable origin".
Whether the OEJM study will ultimately win over the doubters is unclear, but with senior UKA officials scrambling to rethink their latest 'training in business attire' experiment, it may already be having an impact.